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Home > A Dane Cook Sounds
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
Cummins wearing a lot lately, ever go through those modes where you just can't help it swear, swear all the time. Fuck is like the best word ever it really is. It's perfect just fuck it just kept t...
Fire, has anybody here ever been fully engulfed in fire? It's gonna be so hot that is way too fucking hot. So we're feeling when you burn yourself to even a little tiny. You know sometimes you're m...
Global kid I used to have crazy dreams because, well, you remember that you remember Nestle's quick, you know the powder you put it in milk and stir for like 30 minutes. And no matter how hard you ...
I like sharks. The Sharks get together and just go. Let's start attacking people. The guy in the news again the other day. A couple of days ago he got bit by like a sharp sharp let him go. Who's te...
I'll tell you what dream is to scare my little kid used to actually totally give me nightmares. Remember those Kool Aid commercials where that know that big talking bullet punch he would come crash...
My friends took me out the other night. They want if they like do we get to go out? Man, let's go like I don't want to go out. Come on dude let's go get some chicks. Yes just like that.
Play the game operation early game operation. Big naked white guy. He had no pee pee at all. He had no no. He had no cash and prizes. He was like that guy from the movie silence of the lamb's memor...
So many crappies. The first job I had right the first job when I was 17 was Burger King. That was the first job that I had. Alright, I didn't want to call Burger King either. 'cause like you know. ...
There's certain ways that people, when they bite it and they show it on the news. You laugh like what like? How do you who gets killed by bees anytime they come on the Newshour, going man was in Au...
We love Parsons in this country. Work sets with car accident. You know, I know you're like me. It's like 2 in the morning right. Dead quiet during your house watching TV. You're in bed all sudden o...
We never had a pool, right? So one summer my dad to make me happy, you know, was bummed out cuz now the pool. So one summary bought us this thing was yellow ulit in the lawn spray with water run ac...

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