Uncle Buck (1989) Soundboard Edit

A little foryou, a little for me.

A silly heart and she is a jabberbox.

And colorful jockeys, and

And humble...

And I hear about it, I'm coming looking foryou.

And we're not?

Are Miles and Maizy up yet?

Are you really this stupid? I said I would get a ride.

Boy!

Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell's wart.

Bug. Gnat.

But I really could use your advice vis a vis Chanice.

But we have a problem with the kids.

But you don't understand the bigger picture.

Chanice, I'm warning you. You're wrecking the driveway.

Check this out.

Cindy?

Come on over! I want to show it to you.

Come on up.

Come on.

Could I get out the door, please?

Did he put you up to this?

Dips. Dips.

Do your parents stay out ofyour personal lie?

Don't answer. You don't have to

Don't give me crap, Maizy.

Don't you think he loves you?

Excuse us. Come on, big mouth.

Get out!

Get your bag off the table. People eat there.

He can do it. He was asleep and I woke him up.

He's gone in a few days. Just relax.

Hello, young fellow. I'm Tia Russell's uncle, Buck Russell

Her name is Maizy, for the second time.

Hi. May I speak to Buck Russell? This is a friend of his

Honest! Honest! I'm telling you the truth.

How about the dog? You know the dog.

I came to invite Cindy to lunch...

I don't thinkyou do. I'll be right back.

I don't want to go home.

I guess. I don't know.

I have no choice. I don't care what your parents will say.

I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough to shave with them.

I love you!

I'll call the school, find out what time and meet you here.

I'll drive you to school in my pajamas and walkyou to your first class.

I'll take you home

I'm ''Uncle Wart.''

I'm an American. I have rights!

I'm assistant principal here...

I'm flying solo tonight.

I'm going to sue your balls off, man!

I'm not gonna leave unless you do.

I'm not pushing your buttons. I know me.

I'm okay.

I'm only gonna be here a couple days.

I'm sorry.

I've been checking car trunks foryour corpse.

I've been leaving the toilet seats up.

I've been so busy, I haven't been able to do my banking.

I've been thinking a Iot aboutyou...

In an antique shop downtown?

Is this okay with Cindy? It's got Cindy's approval?

Is this who you were out with last night?

It should only be a few days. I promise I'll call you tomorrow.

It was for shocks, remember?

It's your brother.

Jennifer.

Just let

Just once.

Just used your Christmas present.

Keep it up.

Lying, four flushing sack ofshit.

Maybe your ''Bug'' here can join us. We can talk about burying the hatchet

Mom?

Morning

No, I'll tell you what you need.

No.

Not now.

Oh, my God!

Oh, yeah.

Okay, I have to go now.

Open up.

Sense of humor.

She said she'd be back Sunday. Must be a slumber party.

So you can interview new housekeepers?

Sorry.

Sure?

Take my hat, you punk!

Take that, KarIMax.

Tell U.B. when he gets home that he lost. Okay?

That is my car.

That is the best formula for loneliness I ever heard.

That might account for something

That way I'll make up my mind and we'll see where we are at that point.

That's funny, Chanice. See what I put up with? And don't drive fast.

The guy took off and left Miles and Maizy alone.

The idiot hadthe nerve to ask me fora Ioan.

The laundry. What's it look like?

The subject has come up, but nothing serious.

Then I like to know I have it.

Then to chewing tobacco, then the nicotine gum

There you go.

They usually stay out pretty late.

They're beautiful children. What happened to you?

This is how I make my living.

This is such a wonderful dinner, Mother. How do you find the time?

Tia's got to be nine.

Trust me

Tying your shoe?

Uncle Buck.

Wait!

Want to make me?

Watch the Sterno, will you?

Watch your fingers.

We are not dealing with fully developed individuals.

We'll make tents. Get some toys and peanut butter.

We're stuck for somebody to watch them. Ifyou're not doing anything

Well, I don't know.

What about the Nevilles?

What are you doing here?

What did you do?

What do you mean ''why''?

What do you see in that guy anyway?

What's a ''Chanice''?

Why don't we get your doll and put your dad's pajamas on him?

Why don't you come and get me, man? Come on!

Why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house?

Why not?

Will you be at work in the morning?

Without knocking any ofthem over...

Wows the U.N. by announcing a uniIateraI cut in theSoviet miIitary...

Yeah, Marcie. And she lives across the road.

Yeah?

Yeah? Kobolowski Tires.

You can go crazy after I leave. Until then, I'm not letting you out.

You could wake up thinking you were asleep in a swamp.

You don't have a boss to worry about.''

You don't want to sleep with me.

You got a game going?

You got some religion out there in the 'burbs?

You knowsomething?

You like all terrain vehicles?

You okay?

You shithead! I could have suffocated!

4:00 okay? I'm stunned I'm related to you.

Buck Russell's the name. I'm sorry I'm late.

Can you get Uncle Buck? Will do, chickie.

Do you know what a hatchet is, Bug? It's an ax?

Don't mention it. All right, Pop

First or last? First

I'll leave you blank checks. No, I've got lots of money.

I'm freezing my ass off out here. Oh, shit!

I'm going! This is heavy.

Is that a joke? You don't like the Nevilles?

Is there a big sexy guy in here? Please don't let it be true.

It was nice meeting you. I'll remember it always.

Lighten up, will you? Don't push my buttons.

Nice ofyou to notice. I'm a kid. That's myjob.

Shut up yourself! We need boys...

What do you do for a living? Lots ofthings.

Why are we arguing? We're talking.

You do? Oh, yeah.