Rounders (1998) Soundboard Edit

A da, a da, da

A game like this doesn't come together often outside the casinos.

A ha, ha, ha

A hand over a mouth.

About eight, nine months ago, I'm at the Taj, it's late,

All right, here's the thing. You only play premium hands.

All right, so it's ten grand total,

All right. I'll wait for you.

All these seasons

All this time spinnin' past till they leave you

Although not dispositive, the student body is more than 99 percent white.

An 80.

And I want to keep him in the hand.

And I will.

And the whole place stops when Johnny Chan walks in.

And then they've passed you by

And use the right cites. Use book cites, not Lexis.

And you know what I did? I sat down.

Anyway, when you make the opening remarks, make sure you stick to the fact pattern.

At least give me a story. You know, I mean...

At the World Series of Poker every single year?

Aw, Jesus.

Because for all I understood of the Talmud,

Besides, you should get some sleep.

Big daddy...

Blinds, uh, 25 and 50?

But every player can remember with remarkable accuracy...

But I know I'm good enough to sit at that table.

But I learned a few things, Worm.

But sometimes reasons don't matter.

But there are others, like Doyle Brunson,

But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money.

Call.

Clint Eastwood. The Outlaw Josey Wales, man. The MAN with No Name.

Come here.

Come on, man, have some decency here, Worm.

Come on. Come on.

Da, da, da, da

Da, da, da, da

Da, da, da, da

Does he have the fuckin' right to just move them?

Down here to have a good time, they figure...

Driving this lousy route handed down from Knish...

English only at the table, no Russian.

Everybody ante.

Far behind

Fold too.

Forget her, Face. I was actually gonna try and make some real money tonight.

From this last time I stick it in you.

Fuckin' assholes, they deserved it.

Get the fuck outta here.

Get up.

Gonna get out on the road tonight

Good to see ya. Glad you're out.

Grama will shoot us and bury us in a hole somewhere.

Grinding it out on his fuckin' leather ass? No, thank you.

He trapped me!

He's representing aces, the only hand better than my cowboys.

Here's how it is. 25 grand, and the juice is still runnin'.

Here's your fuckin' rights!

Hey, fuckin' Grama. How you doin'?

Hey, Jesus! Come on! Take it easy.

Hey, Mike, man. Fuckin' great to see ya.

Hey, thanks, but I mean, that's, like, 11 bets.

Hey, you know I have no problem with the way you help yourself,

Hey. At least you're rounding again, right?

How come all your moves are so smart and noble...

I am still up 20 grand...

I bet the full amount.

I didn't want to dispirit you like that.

I don't wanna give it back, no

I got $10,000. I'm looking for a game.

I just want you to think long term, all right? Be smart.

I know that look. I'm gonna fold.

I know, Grama, that's why I'm trying to put together a roll here.

I met him over at, uh... He took me for like a grand over at the lodge.

I see a mark, I take him down.

I see you're banged up pretty good

I suggest we wait another five minutes, and then choose another lead counsel.

I tried to warn him, but he looked right through me.

I wasn't unlucky.

I watched you, I stood by you while you lost everything before.

I'm going to bet...

I'm just checkin' it up, baby one more time for you

I'm just gonna outplay the guy.

If it must be tonight,

If we fucked up back then and got caught,

Instead of you owing 15 grand spread out to five guys, you owe 25 to me.

It's a combination of things.

It's easy. We get the fuck outta Dodge, all right?

It's just a friend of mine.

It's just... What do you want me to say? It's fucking embarrassing.

It's like an ace up my sleeve. What else?

It's stupid. It's just bad business.

Jesus, you guys are such fuckin' babies. You know that?

Jo, this wasn't even a real game. This was like Wiffle Ball.

Kennedy Airport.

Kid, he paying you for this late night shit?

L... I promise that I'm gonna... I'll pay you back.

La, la, la, la, la la, la, yeah

Last night, I sat down at this card table.

Lead me to it.

Like, 15.

Look at me.

Look, we're here, okay?

Lose their fuckin' money back to 'em, all right?

MAN, I lost my case money. I lost my tuition.

Maurice hasn't been back since. I think he's been playing across the street.

Me sitting at the big table, Doyle to my left,

Michael!

Midnight, gettin' uptight Where are you

Murphy.

My grandfather got that one

My parents were destroyed, devastated by my decision.

Nines or better wired, three high cards to a flush.

No check here. I tap you.

No way. I gotta get started. [CHUCKLES]

No, I've been standing out here all this time just to say hi.

No, it's easy. The whole time I was in the joint, I was just dumping money to guards.

No, man, I'm off it.

No, man, no. Listen. Find the games, scout 'em out, I sit, I mop 'em up.

No, no, no, no, no. This isn't The Money Store.

No, no, that's not gonna work.

No. It inspired me. I think I was on my way out anyway.

Not to my family.

Now I am.

Now, you don't wanna butt onions with these guys.

Oh, Michael.

Oh, well, knowledge is my reward, sir.

Okay. Good. There's $20.

Pass it to you.

Raise you.

Really? Well, I'm not much of a card player.

Right. Yeah. Okay.

Said I don't wanna give it back, no

Said I don't wanna I don't wanna, I don't wanna I don't wanna, I don't wanna

See me in, like, two weeks. I'll put you back on the payroll.

See, I learned how to win a little at a time. But finally, I've learned this...

Shit. I didn't even play.

Shit. I told him. Did anybody else see him?

Should have paid me off on that.

So tone it down a little, all right?

So, like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.

So, we'll play. Heads up.

Some people, pros even, won't play No Limit.

Some way to change their minds, but...

Sure, partner.

Tell me more.

That was a nifty trick the other night.

That's 4,400.

That's it. I'm really sunk now.

That's when we did 'em.

That's why they took me.

The last thing I took away from the yeshiva is this...

The legends consider it their office.

The musty smell. I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea.

The point guard snapped and gave Worm up.

The pot.

The whole way.

Then you are mine.

There's the river, down and dirty.

These fuckin' long nights are killing me.

They all say that at first.

They hauled him up before the school board, offered him a deal.

They were inconsolable.

They've played their whole lives?

This girl is obviously wrapped way too tight for living.

This is a lesson Worm's never bothered to learn.

This may not look like Teddy's place, but it ain't the Ivy Leagues either.

To lose it to the guards so that they keep doing me favors and shit,

To never let that guy get a hold of you?

Uh, ace checks.

Uh, there's no money today.

Um, I tell ya, I got a thousand.

Until he pissed off the wrong guy and someone dropped a garbage can on his head.

Wait, wait, wait. Did she split on you?

We all know each other here.

We both start with a couple of racks.

We just steer clear of the city for a while.

We were the only two kids attending who didn't have a trust fund.

Well, I think clearly the, uh...

Well, look, I figure there's 15 or 20 grand in that room, okay?

Well, that's the buy in here. We play 20 40 Stud.

Well, then I'm rooting for you, Mike.

Well, you feeling satisfied now, Teddy?

What choice?

What saying?

What, did you get robbed?

What? I'm asking you a question.

Why did you not tell me that? I could have paid that off.

Why would he put you under his flag?

Will Eric Seidel fall for the bait?

Worm put us into a scam a day on all the young aristocrats we went to school with...

Would you do that?

Yeah, I'm... I figure there's nothing left for me here.

Yeah, your Uncle Pete told me to come by if I ever was around here.

Yeah.

You can shear a sheep many times, but skin him only once.

You can't take chips from another player at the table.

You go into hock for more.

You guys, uh, wanna keep playing?

You keep grinding out that rent money, Joe. It's noble work you're doing.

You know what, Grama? I need your fucking charity like I need your cock in my ass.

You might want to leave a little something for your daughter's riding lessons.

You must be kicking yourself...

You said just jacks.

You were hiding from your troubles then. You're hiding from your troubles now.

You'll be just like one of those ex college athletes

You'll just have to work harder. Prepare.

You're gonna thank me for that someday.

You're really jamming me up here, man. Seven grand.

[CHATTERING] [POKER CHIPS CLATTERING]

[CLEARS THROAT] Read 'em and weep

[MAN] Five hundred. You won't find it in the Yellow Pages.

[MIKE] Double the blinds? Yeah.

[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN] I counted these.

Ah, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck me? Fuck you!

Anyway, that's $220, so that'll get you started. $220, I mean...

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. You?

Back at ya. [CHIPS HIT TABLE]

Because I knew you wouldn't understand. Understand what?

Fuck you and your never ending string of boats, okay? Hey.

Grab a seat. Great.

Hey, listen! He's good for it. He's good for it, Mike?

How are you, you workaholics? Worm.

How much do you owe? Like, ten.

How much is in there, Weitz? About 1,500. 1,500.

How you doing? Good.

I know a guy whose cousin can get us in. All right.

I re raised. Re raise.

I understand. That's okay. And you gotta talk with Grama.

I'll act as lead counsel. It's all right, Kelly

I'll drop you... I'll drop you off. Okay.

I'll give you a ring. Hey, Worm?

It was wonderful. [CHUCKLES] Thank you.

Jesus. Who wants more? I'm in.

Know exactly when to release a shitty hand. Come on, Mike, forget that.

Long time. Mike.

Motherfucker! You leave me no choice, the way you play

Never mind. [LAUGHS]

Oh, da, motherfucker. You're worried we might work together.

Seven of hearts. You boys professionals? You working?

Shut the fuck up! It's too late for him to shut up.

So you've just fucked us right in the ass. Yeah, all the way, okay?

So, it's just like... Why didn't you tell me that, man?

So, where you headed? I'm going to Vegas.

Ten? I can't even figure it with the juice

Thank you. Until the time we went for...

The morning can't get here soon enough. [MEN LAUGHING]

Um... It's important.

Want some? No.

We're not cops. You wanna twirl then?

Whose deal? My deal.

You just don't have the stake. Exactly. Glad you understand.

You never let me down. I would have been there every week if you let me, man.

You sure? You heard me.

'Cause all this pleasure gets me high

'Cause all this pleasure gets them high

'Cause I don't wanna give it back, no

'cause you got two four, and I'm not gonna draw against a made hand.

[ALL SHOUTING]

[BELL RINGS]

[CARDS SHUFFLING]

[CHATTERING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] He asked you if that stung, Birch.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[GRUNTS] Ohh.

[MIKE NARRATING] Amarillo Slim, the greatest proposition gambler of all time,

[MIKE NARRATING] I've often seen these people, these squares, at the table.

[MIKE NARRATING] The amazing thing is, in this collection of great legal minds,

[MIKE] Then let's get some in there.

[NARRATING] I know before the cards are even turned over.

[NARRATING] The game in question is No Limit Texas Hold 'Em

[SCOFFS]

[SCOFFS] Oh, God.