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Home > Joe Pesci's Soundboard
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Joe Pesci's Soundboard

Joe Pesci's Soundboard

Joseph Frank Pesci won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role as Tommy DeVito in Goodfellas. Pesci is also a musician who has recorded three studio albums Little Joe Sure Can Sing! (1968), Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You (1998), and Pesci...
See also: Claudia Haro, Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You, Goodfellas, Lethal Weapon 2, My Cousin Vinny, and Pesci.

NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
Add 1 fucking much fun, terrible fucking weakest letterfrack me.
All I wanted in the world for us to be Catholic priest.
An idiot who wants to fight me for $200. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles.
And guess what?
And I don't get the question.
And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail, hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma.
And just about the time that I'm coming outta jail. Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma and guess what? I'll split your fucking head open again.
And that's all there is to it. Just another fat front walking out of the casino with a suitcase.
And that's the one Marv, and that's the silver tuna.
Anyway, I'm gonna be ready to drink coffee, but I look like a fucking caterer. Come out, Frank.
Are you going to tell me something today? Tough guy.
Are you out of your mind?
Are you sure?
Are you sure? Did you look at your watch?
Army doctors alright. So we got shot before. What is it about the fucking thing?
Body in the bank and just about the time that I'm coming out of jail. Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma and guess what? I'll split your fucking head open again. 'cause I'm.
CALLO
Can I don't wanna bring this up, but you been treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespecting your wife.
Charlie.
Did I get calls from back home every fucking day they could do with that?
Did you learn how to do? He felt like a fucking brain surgery play.
Did.
Diesel greaseballs might not look it, but believe me these are the guys who secretly control Las Vegas.
Dominic out the Vegas, always the dollars always the fucking dollars. I mean it.
Don't be such a fucking smart ass where.
Don't make a fuck outta me.
Don't worry about me.
Don't you get it?
Each member of Fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how I mean funny like I'm a clown name use you. I make you laugh. I'm here to fucking amuse you. What do you mean funny funny how? How am I funny?
Excellent.
Excuse me, but I think a motor comma gratitude would not be out of line here.
Excuse me, but I think a motor comma gratitude would not be outta line here.
Finishing this is a tough decision you give me here.
Flights, but I got it all figured out. Watch this.
For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and walk in and see and.
Frick you put my fucking money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep.
From a tree house.
Fucking do stick together, don't they? And?
Fucking head open again 'cause I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail, that's my business. That's what I do.
Fucking sick maniac. I don't know if you can do you. Can you break my fucking bull fucking.
Funny how.
George Wilbur
Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker you you only exist out here because of me.
Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker you.
Get this through your head, you mother fucker. You only exist out here because of me. That's the only reason without me. You personally. Every fucking wise guys still around. I'll take a piece of y...
Go Anthony, he's a big boy. He knows what he said, would you say?
Going on a trip.
Going on vacation, we going. You hear me or what going on. A trip where you going kid.
Going on vacation.
Going to tell me something today. Tough guy. I said alright, I'll tell you something. Go fuck your mother.
Good.
Had.
He sends his warmest regards, but I know how to keep the bosses happy whenever.
He's hanging on my fucking neck right now, but I think they. What do you want?
He's made money, but he didn't bet like you or me. You know, having some fun with that shit like that.
Her kids don't have.
Here in the 1st place I'm million times I wanted to yell in his fucking here. This is Las Vegas were supposed to be out here robbing yet dumb fucking heap.
Here Miami, Dallas.
Hey hey you gotta watch out for traffic son, you know sorry Sandy don't visit.
Hey, I'm doing a favor here, you know?
Hi Nick, what are you doing? Where's your head is my head where's your fucking balls?
Hi Yep tab.
Hold on pea brain.
How could you be so sure?
How do I know you said I'm funny how to fuck? Am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me tell me what's funny.
How do I know you said I'm funny?
How much counts out here? Not your fucking country clubs where your fucking TV shows.
How much oz out here like your fucking Country Club for your fucking TV shows.
How to fuck am I going to get your money now?
How to fuck? Am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me tell me what's funny?
How to fuck? Am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me tell me what's funny?
I ask you.
I ate, slept in five days.
I believe you and Lisa played a game of pool for $200, which she won. I'm here to collect.
I could come out here, get this through your head. You get this through your head you Jew motherfucker you.
I could use the various kitchen. I'll be very honest with you.
I did not come down here just to get your thoughts, you know.
I did say that would you say that?
I do a lot of fucking favors. You donate you wanna help me out?
I don't know, no snakes.
I find it hard to believe.
I got a judge that's just taken to throw me in jail.
I got no money.
I got no more use for this guy.
I gotta listen to people because of your fucking shit. You're ordering me out you better get your own fucking army pal.
I gotta meet clean face right away. What about the shape array?
I guess you could say that.
I know you like this little button, right? Not a lot. You know why, right? Why is it clouds up here?
I know you would have ratified now, in the end they had to put his fucking head in a vice.
I let him fucking drive. What are you waiting for? The cast cold period. Gotta hear what fucking warming up get outta here.
I make you laugh I'm a clown I amuse you I'm here to fucking amuse you.
I make you laugh.
I make you laugh. I'm here to fucking amuse you.
I mean, it's your ass, not mine.
I really fucked himself up out here Danny. Everything went through his head.
I swear to God I do not need this right now, OK?
I think a motor comma gratitude would not be out of line here.
I think I want my money back.
I think I want my money back.
I think I want my money back.
I think in all fairness I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.
I think in all fairness I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.
I think in all fairness I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.
I think we're getting scam by Cyndy Garden.
I think you should be done on your fucking knees.
I watched the most popular size.
I watched the most popular size.
I'll be there in the morning. You can fucking try me fatso
I'll be there in the morning. You can fucking try me fatso you fucking try me.
I'll split your fucking head open again 'cause I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail, that's my business. That's what I do.
I'm a lawyer.
I'm dealing with degenerate animals out here, but the bosses what a give a fuck there sitting on their asses drinking on his end. Meanwhile, I'm the guy in the trenches.
I'm digging a trench is fucking bosses. They think it's a fucking free lunch out here.
I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail.
I'm funny how I mean funny like I'm a clown I abuse you.
I'm going with option be kicking your ass and collected $200.
I'm Jerry callo.
I'm trying to reach you for getting the president.
I'm trying to reach you, tougher to get the new president.
I'm trying to reach your tougher to get the new president.
I'm word counts out here, not your fucking country clubs where your fucking TV shows.
If I was in your situation, I'd want to get through this whole thing as quickly and with as little pain as possible.
If you're acting like this now, how can I depend on you?
Is it possible to separate cause could be driving on Michelin Model X GV 75 or 14th?
Is it possible?
Is that correct?
Is that it?
Is there any more shit we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case?
It's Christmas time. There's always a lot of burglaries around the Holidays, so we just checking the neighborhood to see if everyones taking the proper precautions, that's all.
It's either me or them you getting fucked one way or the other.
It's OK, I use the service entrance. I'll see you at 9.
It's too late for you, kid.
It's wrong with you. Why do you do that? I told you not to do it.
Joe Pesci Soundboard Sound
Joe Pesci Soundboard Sound
Joe Pesci Soundboard Sound
Joe Pesci Soundboard Sound
Joe Pesci Soundboard Sound
JT.
Juju motherfucker you.
Kevin Reunion or something?
Kick the ever loving shit out of you.
Lai had a couple of sand out there. You know Arabs were gonna have a fucking.
Let me find out you fucked up. I'll leave you ever I find you.
Let you back in if you ever get outta line over your fucking head so hard you won't be able to get that cowboy hat and you hear me fuck.
Let's see if we agree on the terms. The choice now is I get my ass kicked or option BI kick your ass and collected 200.
Live action around here today, huh?
Live in a monastery. Pray serve God.
Man, what the fuck are you doing on TV anyhow?
May I do the thinking please?
Maybe we should spend a couple of minutes together, you know to get acquainted before we you know before we get to it.
Maybe when the church I'm not going there me neither. Let's get outta here.
Maybe you didn't hear about it. You've been away long time. Didn't go up the entire.
Merry Christmas
Metallic mint Green 1964 Buick skylark convertibles.
Miami fixed fights, don't force is crooked fucking zebras locked in point spreads heat cold.
Michelin model.
More.
Morgan is keep working. It's not only had openings fucking think so you don't have to take my break. Is somebody still?
Mr. McAllister, who lives here.
Mr. McAllister.
Mrs Riley
My hands on Vegas, but the bosses didn't send me out there to have a good time they sent me.
No no no no.
No, I so fucking rad anyway. So families. All rats would grow up to be a ranch.
No.
No.
No.
Nobody, I mean nobody pulled the wool over the eyes of a gambini, specially this one.
Nobody. I mean nobody called the wool over the eyes of a game being specially this one.
Not telling me my fucking bosses, I mean they're smoking there. The Noble isn't are eating. I'd Repin fucking so free, you know fried pigs guts while if I want to.
Nothing would thrill me more great leader to shoot you.
Now.
Obama one more can take a nice nap. Toyota Motor oil.
OK, I'll bring it. Yeah, well give me a fucking train holding a little like fucking Stepin Fetchit.
OK.
OKOK
On the Oklahoma kid Yahoo.
Organizacion if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everybody in the bank.
Papers all this shit so worried about you worry too much everything is beautiful is nothing to worry about then you tell.
Piece of shit.
Please answer the question.
Prince is tomorrow morning. I'll get up nice and early. Take a walk down over to the bank I see. And if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everybody ...
Princeton's tomorrow morning. I'll get up nice and early. Take a walk down over to the bank and walk in and see. And if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in fro...
Problems are solved and a lot of holes in the desert and a lot of problems are burying those holes.
Show comma kick, Shane, I'm the author. Comma kid.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut up.
Snakes.
So for me, you know you're lying, lowlife mother fucking gambling, degenerate trick. You know that's what you are.
So I'm going to save it here. You know you get me for nothing you little fuck.
Spider spider spider with Henry mumbling stuttering little fuck you know that.
Sunny
Super Scanner was a disaster. This guy could fuck up a Cup of coffee.
Take a 10 minute recess when it looked like they could get 25 years to life in prison just for skimming a casino sick.
Take this one it stick it up your sisters ass hit me again.
Taking a trip to Paris.
Tell me now, tough guy I said thing what are you doing here? I thought I'd tell you to go fuck your mother.
Thank you Spider fucking bandage on your foot is bigger than your fucking head hi.
Thank you very very much.
Thank you very very much.
Thank you, fed Irish prick. You put my fucking money to sleep you go get my money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep.
That way you're gonna go your fucking warrant. Don't ever go over my fucking head again you motherfucker you.
That's the only reason without me. You personally every fucking wiseguy skill around. I'll take a piece of your fucking Jew ass then where you gonna go?
That's your problem, pal.
The fuck is that.
The joke good joke. Put the fucking button.
Then thank you. Shut up with you everyday. Time is money.
There's a lot of things going to change out here, and if you want to be there with me, Sammy, you're going to have to go my fucking way.
They live in a 5000, you know, these dupers got a lot of money. Maybe it feels so fucking block. You have lined up.
They want to put you in a black book. It black Book is a bunch of bullshit. They got two names in there for the whole country morning still alcoholic bullsh.
This analysis So what are you going to tell us stuff guys? My usual 0 nothing, I tell you the fuck.
This guy 528 even close to 469, play number for trees.
This is a tough decision you give me here.
To Skip was John Nance. He found a nice, warm secluded place in Costa Rica. He thought nobody would find him there.
Vincent LaGuardia gambini
We noted during their and that you're all alone.
We're going to do in Harry exactly what he did to us. Will burn his head with a blowtorch. Smashes face with an iron.
We're not gonna hurt you.
Well, I don't give a fuck.
Wendell fuck did I ever ask you if I could come out here?
What do we call these big things?
What do you got me on fucking pay no mind Biscuit.
What do you mean funny, funny how? My funny?
What do you want from me?
What do you want to tell me now?
What if I was just to kick the everloving shit outta you?
What people would you think I was going to find out?
What people would you think I was going to find out?
What the fuck is your problem?
What you say?
What?
What's going on here?
What's the best selling single model tier being sold in the United States today?
What's the best selling single model tier being sold in the United States today?
Where the fuck you get off talking to people about me. Behind my back all over my head.
Where the fuck you get off talking to people about me. Behind my back on over my head.
Where the fuck you get off talking to people about me. Behind my back on over my head.
Where the fuck you get off talking to people about me. Behind my back on over my head.
Where you going kid?
Where's your fucking balls?
Who's your fucking balls?
Why should they? All kids? No parents, probably fancy orphanage.
Would happen in a fucking tough guy. Told my friend sticking up his fucking head.
Would you say funny how?
Would you think I was going to find out?
Wow.
X GV 75 or 14th.
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Yeah, at least you could do is return my phone calls though.
Yeah, just add power.
Yeah, mother fucker.
Yeah.
Yes, sick you know that.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yo dumb motherfucker.
Yo dumb motherfucker.
You
You are a real fucking mut.
You are confused. Maybe if I stick you fucking face she was win over here like you know you'll feel get unconfused me to fuck.
You are trying to put some really big together out here. You know what I'm talking about. You know if you're acting like this now, how can I depend on you?
You call yourself a man.
You could have had the food and beverage job without going on television.
You did it again, didn't you? You left the water running, didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it.
You fuck people out of money and get away with it.
You fuck people out of money and get away with it.
You fucking try me.
You get fucked one way or the other.
You get me for nothing you little fuck.
You getting fucked one way or the other.
You gotta do better than this kid.
You hear me or what?
You know I'm trying to put something really big together out here. You know what I'm talking about, you know?
You know, I don't know what it is Sammy, but the more I talk to you, the more I feel like you just don't want to go along with me.
You know, I don't know what it is, but the more I talk to you, the more I feel like you just don't want to go along with me is that?
You know, I don't want to bring this up, but you've been treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect. Even your own wife.
You know, I don't want to bring this up, but you've been treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect. Even your own wife.
You know, I get calls from back home every fucking day. They think it went bat shit.
You know, I get calls from back home every fucking day. They think you went bat shit.
You know, I think for you got the wrong impression about me.
You know, I think that you got the wrong impression about me.
You left the water running, didn't you?
You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh?
You little creep.
You little prick. I think what the fuck I did it then. Accident fucking actor.
You mother fucker, you you only exist out here because of me. That's the only reason without.
You mother fucker.
You motherfucker you.
You motherfucker you.
You must be staying how you doing.
You only exist out here because of me.
You only exist out here because of me. That's the only reason without me. Every fucking wiseguy still around. I'll take a piece of your fucking joass that where you're gonna go.
You put my fucking money to sleep. You go get my money I'll put your fucking brain to sleep.
You put my fucking money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep.
You said I'm bringing heat on you.
You said I'm bringing heat on you. I gotta listen to people because of your fucking shit you're ordering me out you better get your own fucking army pal.
You said I'm bringing heat on you. I gotta listen to people because of your fucking shit you're ordering me out you better get your own fucking army pal.
You sure?
You want me to get out of my own fucking town?
You want to laugh? This prick last week? Yes, with Chris and his kids.
You were serious about that.
You were supposed to be some kind of expert in automobiles. Is that correct?
You're not going to find any any records of Vincent LaGuardia Gambini practicing in any courts.
Your fucking warrant. Don't ever go over my fucking head again you motherfucker you.
Your fucking warrant. Don't ever go over my fucking head again you motherfucker you.
Your fucking warrant. Don't ever go over my fucking head again you motherfucker you.
Your shit kickin stinky horse manure, smelling motherfucker you.
Your shit kicking stinky horse manure smelling motherfucker you.
1964 Buick Skylark convertibles.
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