Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties Edit

A burden, sir?

A duck, sir?

A flick of my tail? So if I said, "Drool on your foot"...

A little outside.

Aaaaaagh!

Aaaarrrrggghhh!

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

Aagh!

Aagh!

Aah!

Absolutely, Mr Hobbs.

Admit it, Winston. This buffoon couldn't groom the paws of a real king.

After all, this is not the way one plays hide and seek.

Agh!

Agh! Agh!

Agh! Argh! You savage beast. How dare you. Get out of here.

Ah, Hobbs! This is Manfred Dargis here. A terrible thing has happened.

Ah, Mr Dargis, will we be starting sometime today?

Ah!

Ah! Lovely.

Ah.

Aha! I so knew you weren't me.

Ahem. Excuse me. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Ahh!

Air. Water. Lasagne.

All I see are magnificent ribbons of perfection.

All of my devoted subjects

All right, all right, so we weren't exactly honest.

All right, bring it in, bring it in. Back, back, back. Good.

All right, guv'nor.

All right, tough one. Jump up and touch the ceiling.

All right.

All right. Fair warning. Ready or not, here I co o o o me!

All right. I'm gonna get out of this.

All the same, it seems rather fishy to me.

All this time I took you for, well, a complete simpleton.

Allow me to introduce you to my dream.

Allow me.

Almost forgot Pookie. He can't be without Pookie.

Am I not correct?

And a girl who's way out of his league.

And as long as I reign, you shall continue to have safe haven

And don't forget lasagne.

And from this day on, things will be done my way.

And get our scraggy bottoms out of here.

And he answers to the name Garfield. ...i e l d.

And I have the right to an attorney too, pal!

And I want to find out what.

And I'll retrieve the papers.

And I've got an entire pie in my stomach.

And if I can't afford one, one must be provided for me by the court!

And it's extremely important she feel welcome.

And just bring me a piping hot dish of lasagne, OK?

And not a moment too soon.

And now, Rommel, how about a nice tug of war?

And receive your usual stipend of 50 pounds a week.

And set out the Prince Royal china.

And someone to mix it. Thank you.

And succeeds.

And that time that I ate that six day old halibut.

And then, following your words, a royal feast.

And there's a chance they may have got mixed up.

And this.

And turn all our resources and attention towards finding your fat cat.

And we have two plans.

And we'll have tea indoors. Do you think you could handle that?

And where is the little fiend... fellow at the moment?

And yet I can't for the life of me begin to recall what it was.

And you know what's missing when your crib is a museum?

And you must be Garfield.

And you'll always have a home at Carlyle Castle."

And you're supposed to eat it? What is this? Fear Factor?

And your coffee's so weak, it looks like tea.

And, uh...

And... and you're so strong.

And... covered in filth.

Any cuter, I'm gonna need a barf bag.

Anybody ever tell you you look like Tina Turner?

Anything I say can and will be held against me in a court of law!

Anyway, I'll be back soon. Have fun, boys.

Are these rose petals and candles?

Are you sure I can't go with you to this castle tour? They won't mind.

Aren't we 40 years too late for Carnaby Street?

As I am myself by you.

As you wish.

Attaboy, Rommel! There you go!

Attempted murder most foul. I am Prince XII of Carlyle.

Bad boy. Bad boy.

Bad halibut indeed.

Bad pillow.

Beautiful, fellas. Hang the plasma right over the Slip 'N' Slide.

Before I eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Before I met you, my life had no meaning.

Between the guy who owns the house I live in

Big fan of Free Willy, Born Free, all the Free movies.

Blimey.

Bon appétit.

Bon voyage, Prince!

Bravo! Now, off you go.

Briefly, I hate Mondays. I just hate 'em.

Brilliant party, sire.

Bring Lord Dargis's new trousers, please.

Bring up a bottle of the very best champagne

Buddy, do you mind stepping aside? I can't get a good shot of the cat.

Buffoon?

Bus driver, pull it over. I gotta pie belch coming up that might break your windows.

Busily transforming this dump into beautiful luxury condos.

Bust a move, man.

But first I require a bath.

But I need more time.

But I'm her nephew, her only heir.

But now are back to eating the finest calf's liver in the universe.

But that fat ball of fur could last for another 15 years.

But we've just got to keep him safe till Monday.

But what of the woodland and barnyard areas?

But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too?

But who ruled over a somewhat smaller domain.

But, sire, this castle is centuries old.

ButL0ndon? Did you come all the way here just for me?

Button the beak, Froot Loops, or I'll stick that thing on backwards.

By the name of Prince.

By the way, I've a little errand for you.

By the way, the solicitors are here to read Lady Eleanor's will.

Bye.

Call my pumpkin, windbag. I'm ready to roll.

Calm yourselves, everybody.

Can someone help a chap? I'm in the sewer.

Can you do the Carlyle jig?

Can you imagine taking a nap on that table?

Cannonball!

Careful, sir. You wouldn't want to injure the creatures, would you?

Carlyle Castle on the Upper Thames. Brilliant, Odie.

Carlyle log.

Carlyle, 28 miles.

Carrots make everything better, and it can't hurt lasagne.

Cary Grant, sir.

Cat scratch fever!

Cheba, did you remember to wash your hooves?

Come along. There's a good boy.

Come back here, you smelly creature! Come here!

Come here, you smelly individual!

Come here, you!

Come on, get along!

Come on, Prince.

Come on. Cheer up. I saved you the wishbone.

Come on. I want to show you something.

Come on. The coast is clear.

Convince this man there's been a mix up.

Cool. My very own cat tub.

Cos she's nursing a sick chimp, and they asked me.

Could you go to London, pick up my new suits at Willoughby's?

Course not. That would make me some kind of monster, wouldn't it?

Crikey! The man's got a cannon!

D'oh!

D09, approach.

Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists.

Dargis.

Dear heaven. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat and not the dog?

Dear heavens. That was absolutely the most horrifying. But I'm alive. I'm alive!

Dear me. I may have misjudged the old boy. Perhaps he is somewhat of a scoundrel.

Deport Odie? I like this country already.

Did I mention how much I abhor fox hunting?

Did I mention that Prince was a cat?

Did we enjoy our little snack, then?

Did you say "dish"? Lasagne's not a "dish", windbag.

Do me a favour. Have that polished. There's a good chap.

Do you have any idea what runs through your veins?

Do you hear running water?

Do you know how bad I would feel if I lost you here?

Does this castle make my butt look too big?

Don't be afraid to just show up and bring some of those lovely investors.

Don't get your knickers in a twist. I know he's a pain in the neck,

Don't let Odie out of your sight. They might deport him.

Don't mind me. I'm just an incorrigible old...

Don't roam. Stay home. Odie and I are not just coming along for the ride, pal.

Don't tell me. A Renaissance painting.

Don't worry about it. That one was cracked as well.

Don't worry, Prince. You'll feel better when we get back to Carlyle.

Don't yell at us. We're not the ones who drank all the cooking sherry.

Ducks, you're supposed to sift the flour, not sit in it.

England is no great shakes. The buildings here look like the kennel back home.

Er...

Even a king needs a catnap. Get up!

Excellent.

Excuse me. Did you see a couple of people who looked like tourists?

Excuse me. Sir?

Extraordinary.

Face it, Odie, nobody cares whether we live or...

Farewell, my loyal squire. The legend cont...

Farewell, wind to your sails and bon voyage, Smithee.

Fighting the wild boar in Tristan da Cunha.

Filthy monsters!

Filthy wild animal soaking itself in my pool.

First, let's grab some chow,

Flea bitten...

Folks are so loyal to this cat who is royal

Food in the fridge. Cable and satellite.

For king and country.

For those of you keeping score at home, that's 18 lives.

From now on, I'm not letting you out of my sight, OK?

Garfield, since when do you say no to lasagne?

Garfield, your master's starting a new life. It's time for you to begin yours.

Garfield!

Garfield!

Garfield?

Garfield?

Garfield? Odie? What are you doing here?

Garfield? What the devil is a Garfield?

Garfield.

Garfield's never stayed in a kennel before.

Get a load of this. Bombs away!

Get down!

Get on with it!

Get over there.

Get up! This baby is spring loaded.

Getting colder. You're an icicle. You're frozen stiff.

Getting hot. Turn on the fan, somebody.

Glad? I'm thrilled.

Glass jaw. He can dish it out, but he can't take it.

Go away. Beat it. Hide beneath the wheels.

GO lly!

Going my Way?

Golly, this is without a doubt my all time crummiest moment.

Good bye.

Good God. What happened to your clothes?

Good Lord! It's a conspiracy!

Good Lord! There's a wild animal in my trousers!

Good Lord. What gruel is this?

Good show, Lady Eleanor! Bless her heart.

Good stuffing.

Got it! Could have just come down and told me that.

Great. Could you deliver this to the girl in room 407?

Great. Just when things were looking up.

Great. Then feed this to the humans

Greetings, all. Hello. So glad.

Guess what your enlightened, all powerful ruler has brought to the castle.

Guess who's speaking at the fundraiser for the Royal Animal Conservancy.

Ha ha! Watch the ears.

Hang with the guys.

Happy Tuesday, everybody.

Has every reason to get rid of you.

He doesn't have to be Prince.

He intends to level our homes and kill us all.

He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them.

He likes a belly rub twice a clay.

He's a bit of a tool, don't you think?

He's about 42% pounds, orange fur more like a burnt sienna

He's not even the cat formerly known as Prince.

He's not leaving me. It's more of a temporary insanity thing.

He's up to something. He's got some plan for the estate.

Hello, everybody!

Hello, everyone. Sorry I'm late. Shall I ring for tea?

Hello, little Prince.

Hello, Rommel.

Hello, Rommel.

Hello, Smithee.

Hello?

Hello. Snap your photos. Unfortunately, I can but spare a few moments...

Here comes the parsley.

Here on the bountiful grounds of Carlyle.

Here we are. I present your cookery.

Here, come on. Do you expect me to lick myself?

Here, here. I must return to my throne.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty. Come to Rommel.

Hey, bozo.

Hey, dry goods.

Hey, freeze frame, your knee's on fire.

Hey, girlie dog.

Hey, lady! You got any leftover liver?

Hey, loco.

Hey, Mario Andretti.

Hey, Odie, look! It's those royal corgis.

Hey, that's only seven lives. I got two more.

Hey! What the devil...?

Hey. Listen up.

Hi0!

Hm.

Hm.

Hold it right here, all you animals.

Holiday, sir?

Holy cow. I can hear my footsteps.

Hooray!

How about the "house cat" part? I love that.

Huh!

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Marriage.

I am bushed. All this running for my life stuff.

I am flying to London tomorrow morning. Can you believe this? I have to pack.

I am so fired up.

I assume that will be all, sir?

I can just see you cycling in the Dordogne,

I can relax. Oops.

I can't believe this cat is so stupid as to think he's actually royalty.

I can't wait to hear this.

I could do some snoozing here. Yeah.

I didn't realise it was amateur hour.

I don't care about some alien love baby, OK?

I don't particularly care what it seems to you.

I don't suppose, Miss Westminster,

I eat from a plate made of gold

I finally house trained Odie.

I get it. It's her. She doesn't like our music.

I give you your royal bedchamber.

I got two words for yous: me yow.

I gotta go.

I guess the woman who owned the place was a big animal lover.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... will you marry me?

I had no choice.

I have a present for you.

I have returned to you at this, our darkest hour.

I have to pack. I'm so sorry about dinner, but I will send your regards to the Queen.

I have your favourite dish.

I heard you and the bird.

I hope you defeat it.

I insist you have a week's holiday, starting today.

I know I can get this guy.

I know that whatever it is that you have,

I know this drill. They won't crack up no matter what you do.

I leave to the love of my life,

I look out and I see a sea of dumb barnyard animals.

I love it here. You've done me an enormous favour.

I love this pond.

I must alert the others at once.

I need somebody with a hard head.

I needed a playhouse.

I refuse to partake in this sinful display of hedonism. Oh, those nuts look good.

I see.

I shall abdicate my throne and return to my TV chair.

I sleep on a bed that's real fluffy

I suppose I should probably force down a bite or two to keep up my strength.

I suppose she likes this haircut?

I think he's lost it.

I think I'm just gonna do a tight two minutes, see if that'll calm 'em down.

I think that went frightfully well, don't you, Winny?

I think you're ready.

I thought a simple wrap would be just the ticket.

I want to be remembered as the Party Prince.

I want to make sure I look...

I want you to know you're the most important thing in my life.

I was hoping you'd say yes. You have made me so very cat happy.

I was incomplete.

I was just finishing something up.

I wish I could take every one of you home with me. Thank you.

I won't be long.

I wonder if you could excuse me for a little while.

I would prefer to be called G Cat,

I'll give it to you straight. It's disappointing.

I'll give it to you straight. It's disappointing.

I'll go quietly.

I'll just check on Smithee,

I'll see to it at once, sire.

I'll see what I can learn from my end.

I'll take a leg, please. On second thoughts, I'll have some white meat.

I'm a ferret, and I mean business. Trouser leg business.

I'm a self centred house cat. Hey! Wait. Wait!

I'm afraid he might have some separation anxiety.

I'm gonna learn a couple of languages and start a new work out regimen.

I'm gonna lose all this, get myself in top physical condition. Thank you!

I'm gonna write that novel I've been putting off.

I'm here in your country to break up a romance

I'm his favourite kitty cat.

I'm not a royal cat.

I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside.

I'm so pleased you've shown such an interest in our little enterprise.

I'm sorry. I got a little ahead of myself.

I'm the king of the cul de sac.

I'm worried about Garfield.

I've been eating and sleeping my heart out for these animals.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

I've got a house inside of a house.

I've got some good news and some bad news.

I've got the deed and the paperwork in order and contacted the solicitors.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office.

If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive.

If I may,

If Lord Dargis gets the estate, we're done for.

If only it were that simple, sire.

If you come this way, we'll visit some of the underground passages.

If you could give him lasagne between each meal, that would be great.

In a few moments, I'll be the master of this entire estate.

In the absence or, in this case, the death of an owner,

In the late 18th century.

In the meantime, Claudius, you get into the castle and find out what Dargis is up to.

Incidentally, when did you last have a holiday, Smithee?

Indeed, it's been that kind of day.

Indeed?

Indeed. Seeing me in this state must be shocking. I've lost my bearings.

Intestines, spleen...

Is this a part of the tour?

Isn't it remarkable? I found him wandering the streets of London as I left Willoughby's.

It can be quite confusing and disorienting to a cat.

It does have a unique texture.

It goes like this.

It needs a certain...

It was the animals, you know. Plotting, planning, every one of them against me.

It's a Carlyle log, my lord. A savoury of liver and spleen,

It's a conservancy function for speakers only.

It's a way of life, a state of being,

It's all right, sire. All is well now.

It's also Garfield, the cat of the cul de sac.

It's an awfully long way down, but I must, and I shall, and l...

It's gonna be at this really cool castle on a huge estate.

It's good to be king.

It's good to be the king.

It's me, your trusty servant Winston.

It's not a dish. It's the stuff of dreams. It's the food of the gods.

It's not in there!

It's not that hard. You gotta get a running start at something this dull.

It's nothing at all, Smithee.

It's out of our hands now.

It's Prince, and he's alive.

It's what's for lunch.

Jon and I have everything I could ever want.

Jon won't mind if I repack him. We're gonna need some room in this bag.

Jon, you're delirious. Be careful. She's a man eater.

Jon. Man, I've been such a stupid, selfish cat.

Just cos we don't have opposable thumbs doesn't mean we don't play bar games.

Just lie there for hours and shed.

Just taking out the rubbish. Won't be a jiffy.

Just think bulldozers, paving machines,

Keep still. They're reading Lady Eleanor's will.

Keep your eyes peeled for a goofy looking guy with a map.

Kill kitty. Kill kitty.

Ladies. Thank you so much.

Leave room for dessert.

Legally, since he is gone, the title of the Carlyle estate falls to me.

Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury, won't he?

Let me see.

Let me sleep, please.

Let us hope so.

Let's face it, the brain's the size of a gumball. (chuckles)

Let's hear it for the cats.

Let's just say, those we don't chase off we will serve up to the guests.

Let's remind ourselves what we're looking for. It's a hamburger.

Let's see, now.

Like I said, we've just got to keep him safe till Tuesday.

Like I'm not as good as a royal cat could be?

Listen up! Barnyard newsflash.

Listen, Winnebago if I may call you that. When history speaks of me, and she will,

Listen, you dolt. There's been a coup d'état.

Liz Arbuckle. Elizabeth Arbuckle.

Liz is a girl. No, worse she's a girl vet.

Liz, I've been trying to get the courage up to ask you something all week.

Liz, will you marry me?

London's really... big.

Look at this room, for example. How would you liven this place up?

Look, I like you, but not as a spouse.

Look, Lord Doofus is just another bully. And what do we do to bullies?

Lord D... What is...

Lord Dargis was willing to go to any lengths to get the estate.

Lord Dargis, I'm afraid I'm taken.

Lord Dargis, please meet the tour group from the Royal Animal Conservancy.

Man's one perfect achievement.

May I remind you this is private property.

May I, sir? There we are. Hugh Grant.

Maybe as a servant we could stay together, make it work.

Maybe get a brain transplant.

Maybe someone mistook this cat for Garfield.

Maybe you can help me. Have you seen a cat that looks like this?

McBunny is right. We must protect this cat at all costs.

Me, Prince.

Medic!

Meditation garden and, of course, luxury condominium.

Meow.

Mine?

Mm mm mm mm mm!

Mom! Dad! I'm home!

More time? More time for what?

Mr and Mrs Jon Arbuckle.

Mr Dargis, I demand an explanation.

Mr Fancy Pants.

Mr Hobbs, you were right.

Mr Hobbs. Punctual as usual.

Mr Hobbs' office called. Are the solicitors convening again, sir?

Mr Pifiata Head.

Much obliged.

Must be sweet. "My tummy's upset. May I have some liver?"

My entire world seems to revolve around napping, television and lasagne.

My pasta never gets cold

My subjects face mortal jeopardy.

Never mind, Odie. Don't bother. There's a pie here. I'll be just fine.

Never mind! I just broke out.

Never mind.

Never seen a welcome mat on the way out.

Nigel! Ooh! Nigel! Ha!

No matter. I've plenty of ammunition.

No woodland. No barnyard area. Phwoosh! Gone.

No, but we heard your tiresome monologue.

No, it's something like this, here.

No, no kitty, Rommel, but we have something better to chew on.

No, see, I'm proposing to my girlfriend. She's staying down the hall.

No, thanks, old boy. You just run along and enjoy yourself.

No, we don't leave. We stand and we kick royal butt.

No, you won't do. I specifically requested a feline masseuse.

No. He's probably fast asleep in his cage by now.

No. I'm saying they look exactly alike,

No. This is gonna be a treat. I'm finally gonna have some quality alone time.

Nobody hits on my best friend's girlfriend

Nobody makes an idiot out of me.

Not bad. How about, "Roll over and whistle Dixie"?

Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all. Gosh, is that the time already?

Nothing. Nothing. That'll be fine.

Now destiny calls. To the battlements. Sound the horns.

Now it says we add the ricotta cheese.

Now, Rommel, it's really quite simple.

Now, the initial structure is late medieval in style...

Now, which Way's the river?

Now, you have food, water and company.

Odie could use a walk and Garfield could use some serious ab work.

Odie, call a cop! I mean bobby, orjimmy.

Odie, come on. Come on, buddy.

Odie, could you beat it, please?

Odie, help, please.

Odie, no, don't do the ugly American thing.

Odie, thank you. You're a hero and a gentleman.

Odie, you know what? You're being a real...

Odie! Come here!

Odie? Odie?

Odie. Odie, wait for me. Odie!

Of course. And anything you need is only a flick of your tail away.

Oh, by all means, save the little darlings. That's my motto.

Oh, cat scratch fever!

Oh, come on. Really?

Oh, dear. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat, not the dog?

Oh, dear. You mean our little orange bundle of fun is missing?

Oh, dee doo dee doo. Who's next, then?

Oh, Garfield, that's gross!

Oh, heavens, I fear there was something urgent to which I was supposed to attend,

Oh, hello!

Oh, here it is.

Oh, it's nice to get away from the urban sprawl.

Oh, Mr Stinky Dog.

Oh, nearly!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. He's under her spell.

Oh, right turn. Thanks, buddy.

Oh, the female ferrets sing this song

Oh, the same as our own dear queen. Cordial?

Oh, well. Back to sleep.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you are so stupid.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! 00f! Yow!

Oh! Bath time for you, buddy.

Oh! What a clever boy. Eat the cat. Yum, yum, yum.

Oh. Quick flight. We must have been in the jet stream.

OK, all right. You can just call me "Your Highness".

OK, blockhead, time to bust out of here and catch up with Jon.

OK, great to be back here at the palace.

OK, guys. Here we are.

OK, sore bottom, a little disoriented, but undeterred.

OK.

OK. I'm gonna need a litter box,

OK. Well, fortunately Scotland Yard isn't very busy this week,

Okey dokey. New plan.

On the other side of the world, there lived an equally pampered cat

On this wing, we'll put the pool and spa.

One time. Uh!

Onlyjust, Miss Westminster. Onlyjust.

Ooh, Lord Dargis better watch out next time Rommel's on the loose.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh! Agh! Argh! Oh!

Oops.

Our fates rely on it.

Over here we have several family portraits painted by the Dutch master, Van Dyck.

Ow!

Ow.

Papers to sign, you know. Boring.

Perhaps you would consider dining with me at the castle tonight?

Pflnce!

Pflnce!

Pflnce!

Pflnce!

Pflnce!

Pflnce?

Piece of cake, really.

Pig, the trousers.

Pigs, mark your man!

Pith!

Please, please, please.

Please, sir, may I have some more?

Prince and Carlyle Court were one.

Prince is missing. We've searched everywhere.

Prince knew no other life than a life of luxury.

Prince XII has returned.

Prince XII.

Prince! I've found you!

Prince's favourite pillow.

Provider of food, food.

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Quickly. Get the Carlyle log.

Quiet.

Quite right, old boy. They must have given me yours.

Qyez. Oyez.

Relax, bro. It's not like you own the place.

Retirement home? Happy home? What is this, an insane asylum?

Return to him, Garfield. Return to your home.

Returned from their world cruise with the Queen aboard her yacht.

Room service menu and the TV remote and in that order.

Rowr!

Rule Britannia Britannia catches waves

Rule number one. The barnyard animals congregate entirely too close to the castle.

Run away!

Save your breath, chubby cheeks.

See if tea is ready.

Seriously, your zipper's down.

Served in a sleeve of sheep's intestines.

She can't have left it all to her cat.

She's dead, Smithee. You can stop sucking up.

Silver service. You know the type of thing.

Sir Garfield is the king of the hill

Sir Garfield is the king of the hill

Sir, have you by any chance seen Prince? I can't seem to find him anywhere.

Sire, I hasten to remind you that Lord Dargis

Sire, thank heavens. You've returned. Thank heavens.

Sissy, silly dog.

Slip in the eggs, ooze in the tomatoes, now stir the whole thing up. Let the bowl sizzle.

Smithee, I've invited Miss Westminster for tea on Monday

Smithee!

Smithee!

Smithee. Did I see Prince in here?

Smithee. He'll vouch for me.

Smithee. How are you?

Sniffy, sniffy, Rommel. Sniffy, sniffy.

So powerful.

So we'll put together a task force of our best men

So what do you say, Liz?

So what will you do with all the animals?

So you're glad?

So, Liz, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been kind of anxious to...

So, Winny, what exactly is Lord Dargis up to?

Some important news of my own.

Somebody get this thing off of me.

Somebody take my temperature.

Somebody who was like a son to me..."

Something's biting me.

Sometimes it's almost as if his spirit were still...

Sorry, Jon.

Sorry, we left a bit of a mess in the bathroom. Thanks.

Sorry! Proof more accidents happen in the kitchen

Spot on! Never have I tasted its equal.

Step on it, will you? I need that dough.

Still not enough.

Still, I'm plagued by a vague notion of a duty unfulfilled.

Strike. Strike.

Stuck up little punk. I know she heard us. They had the top down.

Stupid cat.

Stupid, red haired,

Super.

Surveying our emerging empire.

Swine!

Take a quick nap and pick it up later? Sound good?

Take that back. I command you, as your new king.

Take the picture. Take it. Take the picture.

Taste that. is that too sweet for you?

Teamwork. Oh, yes. Yes.

Tell you what. For the duration of this battle,

Than any other room in the house.

Thank you, madam.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, windbag, for that slobbering introduction!

Thank you.

Thank you. Good chap.

Thank you. That is all.

Thank you. You're so kind.

Thanks, pal.

Thanks. No pet door, huh?

That is the kennel back home. They'll never take me alive.

That royal sleaze is hitting on Liz.

That was amazing. Are you OK?

That was close.

That would explain the rose petals.

That's right. It's good to be king.

That's what I'm talking about.

The animals suffered mild seasickness,

The British are coming!

The castle was built over 600 years ago by Lord Franklin Carlyle.

The cat just won't die.

The dog's not very bright.

The female ferrets can't be wrong...

The loss of Prince I'm not quite sure any of us will ever get over it.

The original medieval kitchen has stood on this site since 1485.

The pool's full of wild animals, and a pig tried to kill me.

The Queen's corgis, Milly and Tillie,

The solicitors are here. We have to move quickly.

The Venetian crystal chandeliers were commissioned by the third Earl of Carlyle

The will clearly states that you may stay on at Carlyle Castle

Then there's the time I got hit by that car,

Then we stroll down the incredibly cultural Piccadilly.

There are quarantine laws here.

There are two of you little monsters.

There he is, gentlemen.

There is absolutely no reason why you can't have a cool, refreshing drink

There lived a pampered personage

There you are, man.

There's a duck in my pool, Smithee. A duck.

There's more than one way to skin a royal cat.

There's no way I'm gonna give a speech to a bunch of strange...

There's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes.

There's something in the pool, Smithee!

There's still a chance Prince may find his way back here.

Therefore I decree, from this day forward, there'll be no more Mondays.

These are amongst the many treasures to be found at Carlyle.

These are your ancestors dating back 400 years.

They call me Your Majesty

They feed me until I get stuffy

They know it's all about me

They're lucky to have you.

They're not up here. I'm coming down!

This is a huge mistake, Jon. One of your biggest.

This is actually an intervention.

This is completely against my health code.

This is going to end so badly.

This is hopeless. We'll never find Jon.

This is incredible. I can't believe you're here.

This is the last will and testament of Lady Eleanor Carlyle of Carlyle Castle.

This is unbelievable. Two cats?

Time, I've always said, flies like an arrow.

To all the royal subjects, I give you the new possessor of Carlyle Castle,

To Carlyle Resort and Spa.

To make you feel calmer in this steamy weather. Wait in the room.

To my beloved kitty, Prince the 12th."

To one and all, I pledge, from this day forward,

To rule my kingdom with wisdom and valour.

Took you long enough. Did you hear my stomach growling?

Traitoress. You were working with them all along.

Trousers!

Trust me, if you beasts can bake a two cheese lasagne, you can beat Dargis.

Trust me, windbag.

Two proud parents.

Ugh! Does a Great Dane live here?

Uh oh.

Uh!

Unless you'd prefer another dish.

Upon Prince's passing, after what we assume will be a long and happy life,

Upsy daisy.

Urr, trousers.

Urr.

Urr...

Very good, sir.

Very good, sir.

Very smart, sir.