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Keep Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself (2006) On Your Home Screen

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What's wrong with you I don't know. It's hot as hell outside my skin is a drie and itchy. You put me in a sweater. Sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion.

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What's wrong with you I don't know. It's hot as hell outside my skin is a drie and itchy. You put me in a sweater. Sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion.

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Play What's wrong with you I don't know. It's hot as hell outside my skin is a drie and itchy. You put me in a sweater. Sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion.

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Do you think the police didn't see ya I ain't afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys What. Cops on bicycles. What's wrong with that How intimidating is this. Sorry buddy pull it over. What do they do when they arrest somebody Alright in the basket.

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Do you think the police didn't see ya I ain't afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys What. Cops on bicycles. What's wrong with that How intimidating is this. Sorry buddy pull it over. What do they do when they arrest somebody Alright in the basket.

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Play Do you think the police didn't see ya I ain't afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys What. Cops on bicycles. What's wrong with that How intimidating is this. Sorry buddy pull it over. What do they do when they arrest somebody Alright in the basket.

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Anything else wrong I don't know. My wife and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin joint. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new mercedes goes right in the handicap spot. He gets out of the car and there's nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that. So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him. And his mother got out the other side started swinging her crutches at me. Took her out with the door.

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Anything else wrong I don't know. My wife and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin joint. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new mercedes goes right in the handicap spot. He gets out of the car and there's nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that. So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him. And his mother got out the other side started swinging her crutches at me. Took her out with the door.

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Play Anything else wrong I don't know. My wife and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin joint. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new mercedes goes right in the handicap spot. He gets out of the car and there's nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that. So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him. And his mother got out the other side started swinging her crutches at me. Took her out with the door.

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So your wife's in town Oh yeah. She's having a good time She always has a good time. Pisses me off.

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So your wife's in town Oh yeah. She's having a good time She always has a good time. Pisses me off.

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Play So your wife's in town Oh yeah. She's having a good time She always has a good time. Pisses me off.

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She's a lovely lady She's gettin old. Well women age like fine wine. She's aging like milk.

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She's a lovely lady She's gettin old. Well women age like fine wine. She's aging like milk.

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Play She's a lovely lady She's gettin old. Well women age like fine wine. She's aging like milk.

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How long have you been married Uh what is it now 46 years. What was the happiest moment of your life. 47 years ago

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How long have you been married Uh what is it now 46 years. What was the happiest moment of your life. 47 years ago

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Play How long have you been married Uh what is it now 46 years. What was the happiest moment of your life. 47 years ago

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How long have you been married 15 years. You'll see. I'll see what Remember when you said. Till death do us part Yeah. Later you'll realize you're actually setting a goal.

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How long have you been married 15 years. You'll see. I'll see what Remember when you said. Till death do us part Yeah. Later you'll realize you're actually setting a goal.

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Play How long have you been married 15 years. You'll see. I'll see what Remember when you said. Till death do us part Yeah. Later you'll realize you're actually setting a goal.

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Walter what exactly is marriage to you It's like drinking a slurpy. First couple of sips are like Boy this is really good I'm glad I did this. Then you keep drinking it goes right to your head and you go. What the hell was I thinking. Someone kill me please. But eventually it stops hurting. Yeah but then you're stupid enough to take another friggin sip.

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Walter what exactly is marriage to you It's like drinking a slurpy. First couple of sips are like Boy this is really good I'm glad I did this. Then you keep drinking it goes right to your head and you go. What the hell was I thinking. Someone kill me please. But eventually it stops hurting. Yeah but then you're stupid enough to take another friggin sip.

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Play Walter what exactly is marriage to you It's like drinking a slurpy. First couple of sips are like Boy this is really good I'm glad I did this. Then you keep drinking it goes right to your head and you go. What the hell was I thinking. Someone kill me please. But eventually it stops hurting. Yeah but then you're stupid enough to take another friggin sip.

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Ain't the same anymore is it What. Being married all these years You can't look at other women now. you can't talk to them you can't do nothing What are you talking about I'll show you what I'm talking about. See this lovely young lady sitting right here in the front row. This gorgeous young thing. Do you see her Yeah. Oh well. Only thing you can do now is run to the end of your chain and bark.

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Ain't the same anymore is it What. Being married all these years You can't look at other women now. you can't talk to them you can't do nothing What are you talking about I'll show you what I'm talking about. See this lovely young lady sitting right here in the front row. This gorgeous young thing. Do you see her Yeah. Oh well. Only thing you can do now is run to the end of your chain and bark.

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Play Ain't the same anymore is it What. Being married all these years You can't look at other women now. you can't talk to them you can't do nothing What are you talking about I'll show you what I'm talking about. See this lovely young lady sitting right here in the front row. This gorgeous young thing. Do you see her Yeah. Oh well. Only thing you can do now is run to the end of your chain and bark.

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Walter how's the love life You mean sex. Yes I'm married you morron. I'm too old too You're not too old. How would you know Well I don't know but I do know. I had grandparents who well into their eighties where still having fun. Their eighties Good God. What the hell kinda sex is that.

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Walter how's the love life You mean sex. Yes I'm married you morron. I'm too old too You're not too old. How would you know Well I don't know but I do know. I had grandparents who well into their eighties where still having fun. Their eighties Good God. What the hell kinda sex is that.

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Play Walter how's the love life You mean sex. Yes I'm married you morron. I'm too old too You're not too old. How would you know Well I don't know but I do know. I had grandparents who well into their eighties where still having fun. Their eighties Good God. What the hell kinda sex is that.