# name
George Carlin    It's Bad for Ya! (2008)

# short_name
George Carlin    It's Bad for Ya! (2008)

# description
Keep George Carlin    It's Bad for Ya! (2008) On Your Home Screen

# shortcuts[].name
I'm a little bit like herpes. I keep coming back.

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I'm a little bit like herpes. I keep coming back.

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Play I'm a little bit like herpes. I keep coming back.

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I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck him and his balls and his bicycles. and his steroids and his yellow shirts and the dumb empty expression on his face I'm tired of that asshole. And while you're at it fuck Tiger Woods too.

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I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck him and his balls and his bicycles. and his steroids and his yellow shirts and the dumb empty expression on his face I'm tired of that asshole. And while you're at it fuck Tiger Woods too.

# shortcuts[].description
Play I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck him and his balls and his bicycles. and his steroids and his yellow shirts and the dumb empty expression on his face I'm tired of that asshole. And while you're at it fuck Tiger Woods too.

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But since the last time. I might have seen some of you folks. I have had my 70th birthday. So I now. Thank you very much Thank you. Thank you. Yeah I'm now 70 years old and I like 70. Not as much as I liked 69. Well 69 was always my favorite number. Now I figure I'm 69 with one finger up my ass.

# shortcuts[].short_name
But since the last time. I might have seen some of you folks. I have had my 70th birthday. So I now. Thank you very much Thank you. Thank you. Yeah I'm now 70 years old and I like 70. Not as much as I liked 69. Well 69 was always my favorite number. Now I figure I'm 69 with one finger up my ass.

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Play But since the last time. I might have seen some of you folks. I have had my 70th birthday. So I now. Thank you very much Thank you. Thank you. Yeah I'm now 70 years old and I like 70. Not as much as I liked 69. Well 69 was always my favorite number. Now I figure I'm 69 with one finger up my ass.

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The first one is. you never have to carry anything heavy ever again Everybody wants to help an old fuck. If you've got a big suitcase or something like that. you know you just kind of go like this a little bit You say Yeah could you help me with this. Say Yeah Hey how far you going. Indianapolis.

# shortcuts[].short_name
The first one is. you never have to carry anything heavy ever again Everybody wants to help an old fuck. If you've got a big suitcase or something like that. you know you just kind of go like this a little bit You say Yeah could you help me with this. Say Yeah Hey how far you going. Indianapolis.

# shortcuts[].description
Play The first one is. you never have to carry anything heavy ever again Everybody wants to help an old fuck. If you've got a big suitcase or something like that. you know you just kind of go like this a little bit You say Yeah could you help me with this. Say Yeah Hey how far you going. Indianapolis.

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Another nice thing about getting old is. you can leave any social event early just by saying you're tired Works great with family members. Just turn to the person next to you and say. Geez I'm getting tired you know. Oh are you tired Come on. Grandpa's tired Grandpa's going to bed. Someone else says. But it's 7 30 in the morning. There's always one asshole in the family. But the best thing about getting old is. you're not responsible for remembering things anymore even important things But it...

# shortcuts[].short_name
Another nice thing about getting old is. you can leave any social event early just by saying you're tired Works great with family members. Just turn to the person next to you and say. Geez I'm getting tired you know. Oh are you tired Come on. Grandpa's tired Grandpa's going to bed. Someone else says. But it's 7 30 in the morning. There's always one asshole in the family. But the best thing about getting old is. you're not responsible for remembering things anymore even important things But it...

# shortcuts[].description
Play Another nice thing about getting old is. you can leave any social event early just by saying you're tired Works great with family members. Just turn to the person next to you and say. Geez I'm getting tired you know. Oh are you tired Come on. Grandpa's tired Grandpa's going to bed. Someone else says. But it's 7 30 in the morning. There's always one asshole in the family. But the best thing about getting old is. you're not responsible for remembering things anymore even important things But it...

# shortcuts[].name
You can even shit in your pants. They expect it. I haven't tried that yet but I don't rule it out. I'm keeping my options open. Everything is on the table. Perhaps that's not the figure of speech.

# shortcuts[].short_name
You can even shit in your pants. They expect it. I haven't tried that yet but I don't rule it out. I'm keeping my options open. Everything is on the table. Perhaps that's not the figure of speech.

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Play You can even shit in your pants. They expect it. I haven't tried that yet but I don't rule it out. I'm keeping my options open. Everything is on the table. Perhaps that's not the figure of speech.

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I'm keeping him in my thoughts. Where. Where exactly in your thoughts does he fit. In between My ass hurt in this chair. and let's fuck the waitress

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I'm keeping him in my thoughts. Where. Where exactly in your thoughts does he fit. In between My ass hurt in this chair. and let's fuck the waitress

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Play I'm keeping him in my thoughts. Where. Where exactly in your thoughts does he fit. In between My ass hurt in this chair. and let's fuck the waitress

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Oh shit Hell is full of dads. Full of dads. Even the ones that took you to the ballgame. just for beating the shit out of you once too often and fucking the neighbor lady and fucking the neighbor dog and who knows maybe even fucking the UPS man We'll never know what mischief dad was up to. Parents in hell. It kind of gives you a nice feeling doesn't it. It does me. Grandparents in hell. Picture that. Picture your grandmother in hell. baking pies without an oven And if someone were in hell....

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Oh shit Hell is full of dads. Full of dads. Even the ones that took you to the ballgame. just for beating the shit out of you once too often and fucking the neighbor lady and fucking the neighbor dog and who knows maybe even fucking the UPS man We'll never know what mischief dad was up to. Parents in hell. It kind of gives you a nice feeling doesn't it. It does me. Grandparents in hell. Picture that. Picture your grandmother in hell. baking pies without an oven And if someone were in hell....

# shortcuts[].description
Play Oh shit Hell is full of dads. Full of dads. Even the ones that took you to the ballgame. just for beating the shit out of you once too often and fucking the neighbor lady and fucking the neighbor dog and who knows maybe even fucking the UPS man We'll never know what mischief dad was up to. Parents in hell. It kind of gives you a nice feeling doesn't it. It does me. Grandparents in hell. Picture that. Picture your grandmother in hell. baking pies without an oven And if someone were in hell....

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It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big transcontinental. cross country red white and blue stroke job Do you know. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what the national emblem. for this country ought to be Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country. ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting And seated on a chair next to...

# shortcuts[].short_name
It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big transcontinental. cross country red white and blue stroke job Do you know. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what the national emblem. for this country ought to be Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country. ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting And seated on a chair next to...

# shortcuts[].description
Play It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big transcontinental. cross country red white and blue stroke job Do you know. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what the national emblem. for this country ought to be Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country. ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting And seated on a chair next to...

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And let's say that all four of these now grown children. also die at the same time just for the sake of argument Let's say there's an explosion at Thanksgiving dinner. and these four die but their children survive because they were seated at the children's table So. So now according to the theory. these four go to heaven and they start helping their living children But what happens to the original two. What happens to the grandparents. Do they just go off duty now. What do they do. Is there a...

# shortcuts[].short_name
And let's say that all four of these now grown children. also die at the same time just for the sake of argument Let's say there's an explosion at Thanksgiving dinner. and these four die but their children survive because they were seated at the children's table So. So now according to the theory. these four go to heaven and they start helping their living children But what happens to the original two. What happens to the grandparents. Do they just go off duty now. What do they do. Is there a...

# shortcuts[].description
Play And let's say that all four of these now grown children. also die at the same time just for the sake of argument Let's say there's an explosion at Thanksgiving dinner. and these four die but their children survive because they were seated at the children's table So. So now according to the theory. these four go to heaven and they start helping their living children But what happens to the original two. What happens to the grandparents. Do they just go off duty now. What do they do. Is there a...