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Home > A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A Christmas Story Movie Soundboard Sound
A crummy commercial *** ** * *****
Add fried gilley. It must be Italian, I think that's this fragile honey. Oh yeah.
Alright, everybody upstairs get dressed we are going out to eat.
Alright, I'll get that could eat, whereas my screwdriver plumbers helper I'll open up his mouth and I'll shove it in.
Alright, who's next?
And there he is, Red Ryder himself. In his hand was the Knurls stock of his Cooley. Deadly looking a piece of weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on.
Black double dog dare ya?
Black double dog dare ya?
Come back flooring. Put water down.
Dareyou
Every family has a kid who won't eat. My kid brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.
For weeks I have been scheming to get my minutes on one of these fearsome blue steel beauties.
Fried Gilley it must be Italian, I think that's his fragile honey. Oh yeah.
Fullofbeans
Hey Dad, I'll bet you never guess what I do for Christmas under furnace. That's good. One day my old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in northern Indiana.
Hey.
Hi there could be anything in there.
I could feel the Christmas news beginning to tighten.
I could feel the Christmas news beginning to tighten. Maybe what happened next was inevitable. Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas? Horrified, I hurt myself blurted out, I wouldn't. Official...
I could tell I was in imminent danger of overplaying my hand casually. I switched tactics.
I don't anybody move hold it right there a fuse his out. The old man could replace fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date he bought him by their gross.
I slowly began to realize I was not about to be destroyed.
I triple dog dare yeah, Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat.
I triple dog, dare you?
I triple dog, dare you?
I want an official Red River carbon action too and joins well Arab no. Shoot your eye out.
I want I want I want I want this rise I want I want I wonder Western Union telegram tonight tonight is coming tonight, tonight tonight tonight hot damn the light was his main here Brittany told me ...
I want I want I want I want this rise I want I want I wonder.
I'm sure that the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Don't you feel temp, don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor...
If we don't hurry were gonna miss all the good trees.
In our world, you were either a bully, a toady or one of the nameless rabble of victims.
In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake MI.
It looks like a lamp. What is a lamp? Yeah, nincompoop, but it's a major award I want. Damn hell you say you want it mind power Swede mind power.
It was all over. I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine hanging the chair, the rack, the Chinese water, torture mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.
It's indescribably beautiful. It reminds me of the 4th of July. Turn off all the lights I wanna see it looks like from the street.
Let's face it, most of us were scoffers, but moments before 0 hour it did not pay to take chances.
Mickey loves me lo double beat Kate no.
Mobile or would you look at that? Would you look at that? It's a leg, but what is it? Yeah, well it is. It's a leg you know. Like in the statue? Yes, not sure. Yes, that's you, Ralphie. My mother w...
Mobile or would you look at that? Would you look at that? It's a leg.
Mrs shorts. Do you know what Ralph just said? No, he said yes that do you know where we heard it? No, he heard it from your son.
My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium emaster.
My fevered brain seized with the effort of trying to come up with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the Red Ryder Range model air rifle indelibly into my parents subconscious.
My kid brother looked like a tick about the pop.
My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.
Next to me in the blackness lay my oil blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received or would ever receive. Actually I drifted off to sleep training ducks on the wing and getti...
Now it is well known throughout the Midwest that the old man is a Turkey junkie. A bonafide golly Turkic honest freak afew days before Christmas is eyes would begin to glean with a wild and wrappin...
Oh my God, I shot my eye out.
Oh no, it was the classic Mother BB gun block. You'll shoot your eye out that deadly phrase uttered many times before by hundreds of mothers was not surmountable by any means known to kid to, but s...
Oh ready hi, what's the matter? What you crying for Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie no he's not no he's not I promise you daddy is not going to kill Ralphie.
Oh, for only I didn't say fudge the word the big one, the Queen Mother of dirty words, the F dash dash dash word.
Oh, look at that. When you look at that isn't fair, it's it's it's. It's indescribably beautiful. It reminds me of the 4th of July.
Oh, skunked again.
Oh, you should see what it looks like from out here.
OK jumper platter puss.
Or it could be a bowling alley you know. Well guylain Terre Haute boner bowling alley. How do I gotta deliver a bowling alley here tonight could send the deed for cripes sake I I didn't expect they...
Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of so my personal preferences for Lux, but I found Palmolive had and I speak on after dinner flavor. Heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness.
Parker yeah yeah yeah but what is it? I don't know what's in it.
Preparing to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep sea diving.
Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.
Randy, don't play with your food. Eat it. Hey, starving people would be happy to have that.
Randy, don't play with your food. Eat it. Hey, starving people would be happy to have that.
Round one was over. Parents, one kids zip.
Since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues, I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and squaring of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed.
Some men are Baptists, others Catholics. My father was an Oldsmobile man.
The old man stood quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher while they got out was not a finger.
The weeks of drinking gallons of Ovaltine in order to get the Ovaltine inner seal to send off for my little orphan Annie Secret Decoder Pin was about to pay off Master Ralph Park.
There it is, the Holy Grail of Christmas gifts. The Red Rider 200 shot range model air rifle.
They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.
This is net.
Tonight tonight is coming tonight, tonight tonight tonight hot damn the place where this mean here Brittany told me just coming tonight.
We were trapped there he stood between us in the alley, scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes so help me cut yellow eyes.
What did you say? Ah, that's what I thought, you said.
What do you want for Christmas little boy? Why did God blank frantically? I try to remember what it was I wanted. High was blowing and blowing it. How about nice football football football, footbal...
What I want for Christmas what I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock in this thing which tells Time Wow that's great.
What I want for Christmas what I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock in this thing which tells Time Wow that's great. I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder...
What is it Boo?
What picture please?
What's the matter? What you crying for Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie?
With as much dignity as he could muster, the old man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alone, in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could...
Wow wow, little right here. That's why I'm here. Heart fire truck hey.
Wow.
Yes, truly a little bribe never hurts.
You ain't got no better treat them this year tree this year. Tree is built to last a no needles coming up this year. OK, here's a treat. This here is a tree skippy in the front. Put it in the corne...
You are being punished, so no comic book reading. I'm going to come in there and if there any lights on don't shoot, give me that look. You're gonna get it.
1st, I'll write you smelly *******

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