Peep Show Soundboard 3 Edit

A sausage has gone. Oh my God Jeremy a sausage is missing.

Alright, crunchy nut corn flakes. Just frosties for *******

And sperm is like lending someone less than a Fiver. You can't really ask for it back.

And you don't have to be a smoker to Bank of all geezers, but that probably helps too.

Are you kidding? That's like firing first in a dual. If you miss you're fucked

Cheech and Chong my Skinner in the deal with the iron fists inside my velvet glove. The spiky balls on the end of my stick, yeah.

Coor, it's like a sauna in here.

Couldn't you find anyone else to shag?

Far too busy for post.

Four naan Jeremy? Four naan? That's insane.

Frustrated, just conflicts for people who can't face reality.

Gentleman's relish with olives.

Hit it with a disciplinary matters.

Hold your horses honey. I've got coupons for the Pringles.

How much pain can I experience at home with the spaghetti, Carbonaro and Das boot?

I don't want sweet poonani action. I want to take your Bishop and grind you down.

I mean, I'm not on the child protection register yet, which proves I'm not a paedo.

I'm hooked like Paul Potts.

I'm not really high on drugs, so you can stop talking nonsense on my time.

I've got your balls in a vice. I'm the Iron Chancellor.

If you're innocent, you've got nothing to hide. Have you come on? Let's have a look. No, let me feel it. It's hard, isn't it? No, and even if it was, it wouldn't prove love. It's just like human body.

Is that what 1000 years of the English judicial system comes down to? No smoke without fire?

It's not all a conspiracy to keep you in little boxes, alright?

It's not like I'm going to **** him. I could **** him. I'm not going to **** him.

Look at us. People are going to think we spend the whole time *******

Maybe I can get into this sexually transmitted disease, sexually transmitted, sexually sexy? I'm feeling sexy.

Need a poo? Gotta have loo paper.

Now come on. Fuck off.

Oh **** yourself. Stop ******* yourself. It's not that simple. The floodgates are wrong.

So glad I'm not a woman. Worst thing that can happen to me is getting sent to war. Even then I can find a cave and eat blackberries and take myself off till it's over.

So not a paedo you're definitely not appeared in.

Suck Mommy's finger. do I suck the finger?

Tell me the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you're not lying in your own **** dying at 43 with rotten teeth and a little pill with a chicken on it is not going to change that.

The advice is **** and suck.

Turn the telly off everything bad starts with, turn the telly off.

Who needs romance when you're doing it up the bum?

Why do you insist on seeing the anus or some kind of human USB port just waiting to have all kinds of hardware plugged into it?

You know bloody unit, that's for sure.

You said you were on the dry heaves. I wasn't a dry heave that was a wet T.

You what no Turkey you ******* idiot Jeremy you total ******* idiot that was your job you ******* moron you crack in your uh **** it that's why you are ******* ****

You're not a bad person, but I'm afraid to say you are a moron.

You've been chilling long enough. This is reality calling.

You've got sarcasm. I've got a big gun.

**** you Bush, **** you Bush. It's time to get out of Iraq, Bush. What are you even doing there in the 1st place? Bush you didn't even get properly elected Bush are you happy now Bush **** you Bush.