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Home > Carlito Madhouse LIVE
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Carlito Madhouse LIVE

Carlito Madhouse LIVE

Carlito has been hosting the Madhouse LIVE prank call radio show since the spring of 2005. Madhouse Radio became the first weekly prank call related podcast featured in the iTunes store. Carlito passed away from a sudden cardiac arrest he experienced during a dialysis session on May 5th. His impact on the community will never be forgotten. Carlito is forever 'Big Boss Man'.

Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
Ah, you're thinking about it.
And kiss you and touch.
And with Valentine and Associates, yes, and I happen to be a CEO myself of Valentine Associates.
Are you OK?
Because I drive the fucking truck real good, man. I'm good fucking driver, you know?
Clap your hands.
Couscous alma.
Do I come in? Do I register online? How does this work?
Do I? How do I do that? Then where do I go?
Do you have sister in the back?
Do you watch my penis while I urinate into the the cup?
Five years, motherfucker.
Forced me to drink water until I threw up.
Fuck you, I'm Costa Rican and I'm better than you.
Fuck you, motherfucker, you piece of shit. You.
Fucking pussy you.
Fucking talk to me like that, motherfucker.
Go to hell.
Go to hell.
Good, I'm calling for position.
Hang on, you're not letting me explain.
Hey buddy, how are you?
Hey Liz, what are you wearing then, honey?
How does it go?
How many fingers can you do?
How many fingers can you fit up in there?
I always have one hand down my pants, you know?
I don't know. Is there a man I can talk to?
I gotta go and have them fucking with the computer, alright?
I had no idea where I was. They were putting peyote inside me.
I have an issue.
I have pictures and video.
I have questions though.
I know my rights, motherfucker.
I want to see your body in the dress. Come front of me and show me your body in the in a woman's dress.
I was talking to a nice lady, not mean lady like you.
I'd like to make an order please.
I'll pay my own taxes, put me down like a 1099 employee.
I'll suck your Dick, motherfucker.
I'm not the one that harassed. I was harassed.
I'm on speakerphone. You're lying.
I've been drinking and I was looking at the paper and I at the job news, you know?
In Oklahoma City.
Is, yeah.
It says big whore call this number.
It's a sexual harassment thing against me.
Like, where do I go?
Lovely sister.
Matter, Chad.
Next thing I know, I woke up pantsless in the middle of the desert.
No, I just called 1. Shut up, you.
OK, come with second fuck your friend.
OK, no problem. Thank you. God bless you.
OK, so you put on a dress. I'll bring a dress. I have a wedding dress. I want you to put it on to see you.
OK, sweetie.
OK, well, I can adapt that.
OK, yeah. What did you find out?
One bench hot.
One chicken tikka marsala, spicy.
One pappadums.
Question #1 how many fingers?
Sharmota you.
Shut up.
So website.
That big fat fuck.
Then go ahead and transfer me, honey. I appreciate it. Thank you.
They pulled me off the truck, they beat me up, they tie me up and everything.
This is a big cross.
This is the right place.
Valente is all you need, Valente.
Wait, hang on.
Well, can I give you the UPC then?
Well, I mean, I could be.
Well, I mean, that's for between me and the interview to explain.
Well, that's what I'm asking is what I'm calling.
Well, we'll see about that.
Where can I call him and where is he at?
Yeah, call him because I'm looking for a job owner. Operator.
Yeah, hey, God damn.
Yeah, I'm calling because I need to apply for a job. Do I have to do that on the computer?
Yeah, I'm calling for inventory takers.
Yeah, one butter chicken.
Yeah. Hey, man, I'm sorry we got off to the wrong foot there. I'm sorry.
Yeah. Hey, what's up? How you doing?
Yeah. Hi, Sharmota, how are you?
You like Chipotle?
You need to take me off speakerphone first, please. I don't appreciate that, and I'd rather have permission given before putting me on speakerphone, if you wouldn't mind.
You post this?
You put me through someone right now.