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Home > Bert Kreischer Soundboard
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Bert Kreischer Soundboard

Bert Kreischer Soundboard

Bert Kreischer is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, reality television host and actor. He is the producer and host of Bertcast, a weekly comedy podcast on the All Things Comedy network.
See also: The Cabin with Bert Kreischer, The Machine (2023 film), List of American films of 2023, Bert the Conqueror, Bert (name), Duncan Trussell.

Bitch, you promised.
Goulard is fucking awesome.
He does not find me funny.
Health. I don't wanna die.
Hey, listen, you motherfucker.
I felt cause I'm fat.
I love you guys.
I think my real addiction in life is food.
I'm gonna be so excited.
I'm soaking wet. Good thing I'm hydrated.
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
I'm the machine #machine #russia #comic #comedy
It's a joke, everybody. It's a joke.
Oh my God, I'm crying and sweating right now.
Thunderstorms. There's thunderstorms.
Trust me, if Dave Chappelle hadn't taken off for South Africa. Uh-huh. And Chris Tucker hadn't found Jesus, Kevin Hart may not be working.
What's he saying?
You every time I hug a white guy, it's like hugging a dolphin.

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