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Home > Family Guy - Season 14
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A mother always knows
A Puerto Rican busboy get fired in the background
A whole crazy story!
Aah! I shouldn't have worn high heels!
Ah, it's so great to have you back, Joe
Ah, Smitty's Steakhouse
Ah, that's all right
All right, but we already ate dinner,
All right, how about that back rub now?
All right, I'll be there in five
All right, I'll give it a shot
All right, I'm off to the fish market
All right, let's do it, Stewie.
All right, let's get started
All right, we'll just call him right now
All right!
All the humiliation, none of the reward
All these years, acting like he's my friend,
An old Carmen Sandiego episode on India or something
And also, this isn't play wrestling
And ask every kid if they're the new kid
And bring back your beers one by one in my lap
And cause heartache for everyone involved
And check this out
And for you kids, some martinis
And get one
And have him play the bugle
And he's here? Now?!
And here's a magazine I thought you might like to read
And hit him with a shovel, like a white trash YouTube girl
And I got the hat
And I think you knew that
And I'm sorry I will always love your wife
And if he's with the kids too long, they start saying racisms
And living a life of bland compromise
And needs to be dealt with in an appropriate manner
And obviously, I don't think you're my Uncle Dale
And Peter's a good friend
And start all my sentences with,
And still trying to pretend you're a guy
And switching the babies around
And that's fine!
And that's what was causing my total paralysis
And the truth is, we all have private thoughts
And then I lost my wood, and so we just watched Colbert,
And then I said something random that suggested
And then I says to her,
And then I took a dump completely nude
And then panic because I can't see you
And then when he leaves for work,
And there go Wanya over there
And we didn't want to hurt your feelings
And we don't have any idea what we're doing
And we'll always be there for you no matter what
And while he's been gone for many years,
And who's that?
And will require around the clock care
And work at her wife's bar
And yes
And you probably don't want any reminders of Bonnie
And your green shirt and your soothing voice
And, uh, I'm supposed to mention that I saw you on LivingSocial?
Antonym whisper
Are you a New England dirtbag who wants to run with bulls,
Are you from the news?
Aren't gonna talk this out, you and I should
Around the house, so I cleared out all of her underwear
At the State Home for Mentals and Bastards
Aw, I wish the fun didn't have to end
Aw, we don't need him. I got a sex story for you
Aw, yeah
Backdraft you finally watched it?
Be cool
Because you weren't meant to hear it
Before you get back to where the crappers are
Besides, I need you, boy
Bonnie, wait! God, this is awful
Boy, that Lois is really something, isn't she?
Brian, there's something I got to talk to you about
Brian? What are you doing on a leash?
Bring the ice cream maker
But don't worry, I'll figure something out
But I'm peeing in my coffee cup right now
But not often. And never to Donna
But not to Vice President Joe Biden!
But obviously your mouth is full
But seriously, it it was bad
But the Ninja Turtles live down there
But there's no reason they should ruin our friendships
But thinks Spain is gay?
But we all just shove our thoughts deep down
But we can't tell Joe
But we told Chris we'd be there when he wakes up from surgery
But we're your friends, Joe
But you can't just sit around the house and drink all day
But you don't see me moving there
But you're right
But you're talking about your best friend's wife.
By the way, I couldn't figure out how to use your oven,
Bye, Joe
Called "mini racquetball" in your garage
Calm down. You can always get another toothpick
Can you fit me in at 10:00 tomorrow?
Can you honestly say that you didn't pee
Can't make out this one
Check this out the way he's sitting,
Chris, now that I'm a toothpick guy, it's my job to sit
Cleveland, do you need to borrow some money?
Cleveland, why do you let them
Come on, are we going to the beach?
Come on, let's go home
Come on, you guys. Joe's gonna be fine
Coming up, quintuplets born at Quahog General
Damn it!
Damn it! I'm gonna need you to put that large
Damon's doing his own thing
Dang it!
Delete that message and pretend you never heard it
Didn't know if you wanted one
Do you have feelings for her?
Do you have it? No
Do you love Peter enough to repress your love for me?
Do you, uh, you you want a back rub?
Does the job
Doesn't seem like he's gonna be able to take care of himself
Don't sugarcoat it, Doc
Enough feeling sorry for yourself
Especially Cleveland
Everyone knows I'm in love with my best friend's wife
Except when she wore those shiny gold shorts
Fine, I won't say anything
Fop Cop. It's a cop who's, like, a fancy guy
Fop Cop. That could work
For instance, every time I'm on the subway,
For not knowing about fish
For shooting the guy we said was Osama bin Laden
For the rest of your life?
From the 1980s that I have found
Garcia steps off the mound again,
Geez, calm down
Get out of here
Get out of my house, and don't ever speak to me again!
Get ready to run for your lives!
Glenn, all this nonsense has to stop now
Glenn, do you..
Glenn, that's very sweet,
Glenn, wait
Glenn! Ida! You made it!
Glenn? Is that you?
Go, go, go!
God, I love you, Lois
God, what a nightmare
Good bye, Lois
Good evening and welcome to Smitty's
Good Lord!
Good, good, same page
Good. And don't be passive aggressive, either
Got any cool toys?
Grandpa's going nuts on the oven
Great song. Here's a Grammy
Great, honey
Growl, roar, ululate
Guy from Superman lives here?!
Ha! Skewered
Hard to tell. I was coughing the whole time
He also put a tracking chip in your neck.
He can sit in any kind of way.
He did it
He has not won a single point
He must be healthy
He said that the first two times we asked
He'll fit in great there
He's fine
He's gonna try to take Lois away from me
He's got some nerve showing up here
He's in love with Lois?
He's lost his mind
He's my dog now
He's on the spectrum.
He's really jealous
Heck, I don't even know
Hell, we've all done that
Hello, Daft Punk?
Her husband's a maniac and the only reason he hasn't killed me
Here, take him!
Here's a can of chili
Hey, babe
Hey, before you two leave, let's take a photo
Hey, city boy, what's with the arm pants?
Hey, don't go in that room back there
Hey, fat ass, I brought you flowers
Hey, guys, after this, let's beat alligators
Hey, guys, you know that egg dish I was talking about?
Hey, honey, get in here
Hey, how long have we known each other?
Hey, I don't know if you can hear it,
Hey, I got two of these phone books
Hey, Joe
Hey, Joe, isn't this your round?
Hey, Joe, you know that movie you told me to watch
Hey, Lois. I brought the hamburger buns, like you wanted
Hey, Meg, look, they're little trees!
Hey, Peter,
Hey, Peter!
Hey, Quagmire. Hey, Ida
Hey, so how'd you get your house back?
Hey, that's mean, and it's not even true!
Hey, Tori, it's Brian
Hey, uh, uh, just to be clear,
Hey, want to take a shower with me?
Hey, what are y'all doing? Stop! Stop it!
Hey, what's going on?
Hey, you ever heard any of the other wives
Hey, you guys watch Veep?
Hey. You're parked behind my t****zoid thing
Hi, can I help you?
Hi, I work here
Hmm, he's got a padlock on here
Hold on, guys
Holy crap!
Housing for registered sex offenders!
How 'bout the halibut? Is it gamey? Gamey?
How about you? I got a Barbie with a wiener on it
How blessed are we to have all them Boyz II Men
How you suppose they come up with all them positions?
How'd you find me?
Huh, must've pocket dialed me again
Huh, you're right
Huh? Who? What?
Huh. Looks like I got a couple of messages
Huh. There's one from Quagmire