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Home > Family Guy - Season 5
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A little time away from the bar will do you some good
A retarded guy could never have this much fun
A wolverine So you Russians best be warned
Aah! My face!
Actually, Superstore USA has all that stuff. We can just get it there
After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease
After having my ass handed to me by my bitch of an ex wife
Ah, you gotta do better than that.
Ah! Ah!
Aisle six
All in pursuit of the ideal that no man
All right
All right, all right! Geez, Lois, I'm just trying to amuse myself,
All right, come on in, everybody. Have a seat anywhere
All right, fine, I'll come to Meg's party
All right, hang on. Here we go
All right, I'll take that, and I'm gonna hurry home and show it to Lois
All right, I'll tell him. Thanks. Bye.
All right, Joe, let's lose the wheelchair and shoot this thing.
All right, Joe, now don't get carried away with this
All right, look. Let's get one thing straight, Stewie
All right, so which one of y'all ain't got my herpes yet?
All right, so you know the drill
All right, we're going Brazilian.
All right, you can do this, Brian. Come on, pray with me.
All right, you folks take care now
All right? This is my show, and it's a serious, intellectual hour of discussion,
All right.
All right. In three, two, one
All the things that make us
All the things that make us
All the things that make us
All the things that make us
All we need is some magic markers, poster boards, some plywood..
Although, sometimes it's, like, what's the deal?
Am I Bo Bice? Yes, I am.
An Indian guide with lots of Indian pride
And all the brown people you can ****.
And all the doctors are pigs?
And as you may know, I am totally and completely insane.
And before I knew Vageena Hertz
And can sell beer at a much cheaper price,
And don't pick the obvious one
And every day at 3:00, you'll need to give Sloth a Baby Ruth
And expect me to walk away
And for every hot dog that you catch in your mouth,
And guess what? I sold Snoopy the junk.
And I couldn't study last night because you made us go to the ballet.
And I don't mean the classy "maybe they are, maybe they're not" gay guys.
And I got a job following fat people around with a tuba.
And I guess that's why They call it the blues
And I really appreciate you having sex with me in my office.
And I think I know how
And I think we learned something
And I'll give it an upbeat '80s sitcom theme
And I'll meet you up there in, like, five minutes
And I'm still a young woman, Peter. 82 is the new 74
And I'm tired of sitting in ball soup
And if you do make the choice to act on them,
And if you think you can say that just like Weenie here,
And if you're thinking about changing the station..
And in local news, a new restaurant is taking Quahog by storm.
And it begins..
And maybe take a dip in the pool. Hey, Devon, Devon, come here.
And my natural response could be to get offended.
And now back to Round Table,
And now he's dead. They're both dead
And remember, life is full of entrees, so don't fill up on bread
And so you know where you'll get it? Right here in the army!
And that, sir, is an idiot.
And that's Dicky, the Punch Line Donkey, on 97.1
And the Baby..
And the best medical care on the planet.
And the fact of your firm young body
And the more you do it, the sweeter it gets.
And there's a lot of great people here
And this restaurant is hemorrhaging money.
And we never quite got it going.
And we'd love to deliver that licking,
And we'll slap five there
And we're gonna keep on drinking until we each uncover repressed memories
And we're out of time. This has been The Lunch Hour
And welcome back
And what's that little rubber mailman you got behind there?
And when you touched Chris, you passed it on.
And who had the prime rib?
And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says, "Meg
And you drop a bombshell like this?
And you have to flap your wrists, like this.
And you took an oath to stick it out when things got tough.
And you're listening to The Lunch Hour, serving up food for the mind
And you're the only one I'll ever have,
And, number four, could you step forward, too?
And... and...
Any of 'em, Chris. You can't miss.
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank
Are you out of your mind?
Are you seeing that?! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Are you shy, squiggly line?
As long as you promise never to bully anyone again.
At Big Pete's House of Munch. Stop on by
At least they know how to touch a man. Oh, walk away
At the end of every sentence?
At the top of the news tonight, authorities have called off their pursuit
Aw, crap, I'm not even half buzzed
Because, Brian, they have an industrial sized air conditioner,
Besides, the army is weak.
Between incumbent Adam West and challenger Lois Griffin.
Blah, blah, blah, "Lincoln assassinated,"
Boy it's amazing, isn't it? You get two fathers
Boy, I'm a little chilly. I hope no one notices
Boy, it was nice of Quagmire to let us use his place.
Boy, Meg, I am so looking forward to this job
Boy, this is gonna be long.
Boy, this is really going to upset my evil brother, Thaddeus
Boys like me
Brian, be careful with that. We don't know what it does.
Brian, Brian, look, I'm Gary Busey.
Brian, going back in time ruined my life.
Brian, please, save your hippie BS for the winter months, okay?
Brian, what the hell is going on?
But all I want is for your mom to be happy
But as I recall, you were more interested in partying with your friends.
But first, the big news in entertainment this week
But I do anyway because I like being myself
But I think Jillian's found a good balance.
But I wasn't looking for anything long term
But if you want to come over here, that's okay, too
But let's go to Ollie Williams for the in depth analysis
But listen, you know what? Let me make it up to you.
But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners
But Papa Tom is so different
But Pepperidge Farm ain't just gonna keep it
But she gets a freaking car just like that!
But that was before I knew about the power of chick stuff,
But the banter you did with that guy..
But the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way
But the school board has voted to cancel your sex ed class.
But tonight, I got plans with Cleveland.
But values don't come from where you live or who your friends are
But when I try to look at you,
But you do anyway because,
But you're a fat ass
But you're also my father,
But, hey, I'll make it up to you. Let's play catch
By that special boy in front of Kmart
Caller, you're on The Lunch Hour
Calm down, everyone. He's just a little sick
Can I get you some punch?
Captain, the enemy ship has opened fire on us.
Check me out, Brian.
Chris, come here. You'll love this.
Chris, say hi to Mr. And Mrs. Griffin
Chris, what the hell is going on with you lately?
Chris, you're wanted on the phone.
Cleveland, it was amazing
Cleveland, Joe and I will board the plane posing as flight attendants.
Come back and have big hero party with many virgins.
Come closer
Come on, Barbie, let's go party...
Come on, do math.
Come on, guys. Let's eat.
Come on, Ma
Come on, man. Cut me a break. I was only in there for, like, five minutes
Come on, Mom, you can't stay in bed all day
Come on, Peter. Prove to Lois that you love her.
Come on.You gotta want it.
Coming this fall,
Commingling with..
Contrary to those upbeat lyrics,
Cook much?
Cool weekends in the morning with Weenie and the Butt
Cool weekends in the morning, 97. 1 FM.
Cool weekends. On the radio
Could you tell Tom his contagious penis cancer medicine is ready?
Dad, are you ready?
Dad, I'm sorry I have to say this,
Dad, it's not fair
Dad, you...
Damn it, Jerry, why are we the only ones still here?
Damn you, Brian
Damn! Play me some filler, Johnny.
Death! Oh, thank God, you're here!
Did we finish fueling?
Did you have a good time at your prostitutes' convention?
Didn't mean to wake ya.
Do it! I don't give a fuck!
Do you see a wheelchair under Mark Harmon?
Dog gone it!
Don't look at me. I can't get a word in edgewise
Don't mind me, you guys.
Don't panic, Lois, we'll find him. I'm good at picking people out of a crowd
Don't worry, Brian. I think I've got an idea
Don't worry, I'll put it out.
Don't worry, Lois, we're the police
Don't you do it!
Don't you... Get down from that chair or you're in big trouble
Donny Most rises from the mist.
Dude, this car kicks ass,
Eagle. Yay, Quagmire
Eh, sure.
Everybody wish Snoopy was here? And Woodstock?
Everyone, I have some bad news
Evil, evil monkey!
Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find assault rifles?
Excuse me, I gotta find a lost kid
Excuse me, Principal Shepherd
Excuse me, sir? My name is Peter
Family Guy Saving Private Brian
Family Guy Whistle While Your Wife Works
Farting in your cereal when you go to get milk
Fat ass and his drunk friends left me at the roller rink
Fellas will fall in line..
Fine. Weirdo
First, I'd like to welcome our two newcomers, Chris and Meg Griffin.
For a cupcake and a glass of wine?
For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a real family, you know?
From our drunken Irish dad!
From the station that reaches the beaches, you're listening to Dingo and the Baby
Get off me, you skank
Getting Minnie Driver's head to fit on screen
Giant megastores like Superstore USA are ruining this country
Giggity Giggity Goo
Give us a hot spoonful of your opinion. Okay, we have a question from Quahog
Give you up
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn...
Go ahead, caller, you're on with Dingo and the Baby
Go on, Meg