Family Guy - Season 5 Edit

A little time away from the bar will do you some good

A retarded guy could never have this much fun

A wolverine So you Russians best be warned

Aah! My face!

Actually, Superstore USA has all that stuff. We can just get it there

After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease

After having my ass handed to me by my bitch of an ex wife

Ah, you gotta do better than that.

Ah! Ah!

Aisle six

All in pursuit of the ideal that no man

All right

All right, all right! Geez, Lois, I'm just trying to amuse myself,

All right, come on in, everybody. Have a seat anywhere

All right, fine, I'll come to Meg's party

All right, hang on. Here we go

All right, I'll take that, and I'm gonna hurry home and show it to Lois

All right, I'll tell him. Thanks. Bye.

All right, Joe, let's lose the wheelchair and shoot this thing.

All right, Joe, now don't get carried away with this

All right, look. Let's get one thing straight, Stewie

All right, so which one of y'all ain't got my herpes yet?

All right, so you know the drill

All right, we're going Brazilian.

All right, you can do this, Brian. Come on, pray with me.

All right, you folks take care now

All right? This is my show, and it's a serious, intellectual hour of discussion,

All right.

All right. In three, two, one

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All we need is some magic markers, poster boards, some plywood..

Also...

Although, sometimes it's, like, what's the deal?

Am I Bo Bice? Yes, I am.

An Indian guide with lots of Indian pride

And all the brown people you can ****.

And all the doctors are pigs?

And as you may know, I am totally and completely insane.

And before I knew Vageena Hertz

And can sell beer at a much cheaper price,

And don't pick the obvious one

And every day at 3:00, you'll need to give Sloth a Baby Ruth

And expect me to walk away

And for every hot dog that you catch in your mouth,

And guess what? I sold Snoopy the junk.

And I couldn't study last night because you made us go to the ballet.

And I don't mean the classy "maybe they are, maybe they're not" gay guys.

And I got a job following fat people around with a tuba.

And I guess that's why They call it the blues

And I really appreciate you having sex with me in my office.

And I think I know how

And I think we learned something

And I'll give it an upbeat '80s sitcom theme

And I'll meet you up there in, like, five minutes

And I'm still a young woman, Peter. 82 is the new 74

And I'm tired of sitting in ball soup

And if you do make the choice to act on them,

And if you think you can say that just like Weenie here,

And if you're thinking about changing the station..

And in local news, a new restaurant is taking Quahog by storm.

And it begins..

And maybe take a dip in the pool. Hey, Devon, Devon, come here.

And my natural response could be to get offended.

And now back to Round Table,

And now he's dead. They're both dead

And remember, life is full of entrees, so don't fill up on bread

And so you know where you'll get it? Right here in the army!

And that, sir, is an idiot.

And that's Dicky, the Punch Line Donkey, on 97.1

And the Baby..

And the best medical care on the planet.

And the fact of your firm young body

And the more you do it, the sweeter it gets.

And there's a lot of great people here

And this restaurant is hemorrhaging money.

And we never quite got it going.

And we'd love to deliver that licking,

And we'll slap five there

And we're gonna keep on drinking until we each uncover repressed memories

And we're out of time. This has been The Lunch Hour

And welcome back

And what's that little rubber mailman you got behind there?

And when you touched Chris, you passed it on.

And who had the prime rib?

And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says, "Meg

And you drop a bombshell like this?

And you have to flap your wrists, like this.

And you took an oath to stick it out when things got tough.

And you're listening to The Lunch Hour, serving up food for the mind

And you're the only one I'll ever have,

And, number four, could you step forward, too?

And... and...

Any of 'em, Chris. You can't miss.

Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank

Are you out of your mind?

Are you seeing that?! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Are you shy, squiggly line?

As long as you promise never to bully anyone again.

At Big Pete's House of Munch. Stop on by

At least they know how to touch a man. Oh, walk away

At the end of every sentence?

At the top of the news tonight, authorities have called off their pursuit

Aw, crap, I'm not even half buzzed

Awesome!

Because, Brian, they have an industrial sized air conditioner,

Besides, the army is weak.

Between incumbent Adam West and challenger Lois Griffin.

Blah, blah, blah, "Lincoln assassinated,"

Boy it's amazing, isn't it? You get two fathers

Boy, I'm a little chilly. I hope no one notices

Boy, it was nice of Quagmire to let us use his place.

Boy, Meg, I am so looking forward to this job

Boy, this is gonna be long.

Boy, this is really going to upset my evil brother, Thaddeus

Boys like me

Brian, be careful with that. We don't know what it does.

Brian, Brian, look, I'm Gary Busey.

Brian, going back in time ruined my life.

Brian, please, save your hippie BS for the winter months, okay?

Brian, what the hell is going on?

But all I want is for your mom to be happy

But as I recall, you were more interested in partying with your friends.

But first, the big news in entertainment this week

But I do anyway because I like being myself

But I think Jillian's found a good balance.

But I wasn't looking for anything long term

But if you want to come over here, that's okay, too

But let's go to Ollie Williams for the in depth analysis

But listen, you know what? Let me make it up to you.

But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners

But Papa Tom is so different

But Pepperidge Farm ain't just gonna keep it

But she gets a freaking car just like that!

But that was before I knew about the power of chick stuff,

But the banter you did with that guy..

But the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way

But the school board has voted to cancel your sex ed class.

But tonight, I got plans with Cleveland.

But values don't come from where you live or who your friends are

But when I try to look at you,

But you do anyway because,

But you're a fat ass

But you're also my father,

But, hey, I'll make it up to you. Let's play catch

By that special boy in front of Kmart

Caller, you're on The Lunch Hour

Calm down, everyone. He's just a little sick

Can I get you some punch?

Captain, the enemy ship has opened fire on us.

Check me out, Brian.

Chris, come here. You'll love this.

Chris, say hi to Mr. And Mrs. Griffin

Chris, what the hell is going on with you lately?

Chris, you're wanted on the phone.

Cleveland, it was amazing

Cleveland, Joe and I will board the plane posing as flight attendants.

Come back and have big hero party with many virgins.

Come closer

Come on, Barbie, let's go party...

Come on, do math.

Come on, guys. Let's eat.

Come on, Ma

Come on, man. Cut me a break. I was only in there for, like, five minutes

Come on, Mom, you can't stay in bed all day

Come on, Peter. Prove to Lois that you love her.

Come on.You gotta want it.

Coming this fall,

Commingling with..

Contrary to those upbeat lyrics,

Cook much?

Cool weekends in the morning with Weenie and the Butt

Cool weekends in the morning, 97. 1 FM.

Cool weekends. On the radio

Could you tell Tom his contagious penis cancer medicine is ready?

Crap

Dad, are you ready?

Dad, I'm sorry I have to say this,

Dad, it's not fair

Dad, you...

Dad?

Dad?

Dad..

Damn it, Jerry, why are we the only ones still here?

Damn you, Brian

Damn! Play me some filler, Johnny.

Death! Oh, thank God, you're here!

Did we finish fueling?

Did you have a good time at your prostitutes' convention?

Didn't mean to wake ya.

Do it! I don't give a fuck!

Do you see a wheelchair under Mark Harmon?

Dog gone it!

Don't look at me. I can't get a word in edgewise

Don't mind me, you guys.

Don't panic, Lois, we'll find him. I'm good at picking people out of a crowd

Don't worry, Brian. I think I've got an idea

Don't worry, I'll put it out.

Don't worry, Lois, we're the police

Don't you do it!

Don't you... Get down from that chair or you're in big trouble

Donny Most rises from the mist.

Dude, this car kicks ass,

Eagle. Yay, Quagmire

Eh, sure.

Everybody wish Snoopy was here? And Woodstock?

Everyone, I have some bad news

Evil, evil monkey!

Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find assault rifles?

Excuse me, I gotta find a lost kid

Excuse me, Principal Shepherd

Excuse me, sir? My name is Peter

Family Guy Saving Private Brian

Family Guy Whistle While Your Wife Works

Farting in your cereal when you go to get milk

Fat ass and his drunk friends left me at the roller rink

Fellas will fall in line..

Fine,

Fine. Weirdo

First, I'd like to welcome our two newcomers, Chris and Meg Griffin.

FM

For a cupcake and a glass of wine?

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a real family, you know?

From our drunken Irish dad!

From the station that reaches the beaches, you're listening to Dingo and the Baby

Get off me, you skank

Getting Minnie Driver's head to fit on screen

Giant megastores like Superstore USA are ruining this country

Giggity Giggity Goo

Give us a hot spoonful of your opinion. Okay, we have a question from Quahog

Give you up

Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn...

Go ahead, caller, you're on with Dingo and the Baby

Go on, Meg