Sherlock (2010) - Season 3 Edit

A barn conversion and a history of erectile dysfunction.

A bigger adventure.

A brief sniff of the offending bobble tells us everything

A bungee rope, a mask, Derren Brown.

A ca... What kind of case would need you doing this?

A complete dickhead.

A couple of others.

A deal is a deal.

A dragon slayer.

A facade.

A French decathlete found completely out of his mind

A G R A. What's that?

A good one.

A job offer I should like you to decline.

A live picture of the card user

A mask?

A murderer who can walk through walls.

A nation of herbivores.

A necessary evil. Not a dragon for you to slay.

A private individual and, in fact, a foreign national

A scalpel, wielded with precision and without remorse.

A small "thank you" wouldn't go amiss.

A very specific friend.

A veteran of Kandahar, Helmand and Barts bloody Hospital!

A weapon that can vanish.

A wedding is, in my considered opinion,

Absolutely no reason to panic.

Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Mrs. Reeves.

Absolutely. He blew his own brains out.

According to his flatmate, he's on holiday.

According to Mycroft.

Actually, if that's Beth, it's probably for me, too. Hang on.

Actually, now I can.

Actually, um, that was mostly Mycroft's idea.

Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me

Additionally, if you're going to commit murder,

Address?

Adhering to the perspiration stains on the inside.

Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system

After all, not all the men you fall for can turn out to be sociopaths

After it's been cleared.

After...

Agents and drifters are irresistibly drained.

Ages you.

Ah, finally!

Ah, it was Mrs. Hudson laughing.

Ah, just the bride and groom, please.

Ah, Mary.

Ah, no.

Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him like a puppy.

Ah, this was for Mary. I'll be back in a minute.

Ah, yes, raising glasses and standing up.

Ah, yes. Now onto some funny stories about John.

Ah, yes. Yes! Very good!

Ah. I'm used to it.

Ah...

Al Qaeda? The IRA have been getting restless again,

Alexander comes in for a tackle...

All emotions, and in particular love,

All in my mind palace. All of it.

All of which is suggestive of...

All single men.

All that time, people thinking the worst of you.

All the chatter, all the traffic concurs,

All the files, everything you've got on everyone.

All the signs are there.

All the time in the world to create an alibi.

All this does not mean that I'm not still basically pissed off with you.

Also...

Although he left no note, friends say it's unlikely...

Always standing around, apologising.

Always your way.

Always, I'm afraid. I have a condition.

Am I a vegetable?

Am I a woman?

Am I acceptable to you as an intermediary?

Am I happy, too? I haven't checked.

Am I human?

Am I important?

Am I pretty?

Am I the current King of England?

Am I?

Amidst unprecedented scenes, there was uproar in court

An agent gave his life to tell us that.

An invitation to a wedding.

An unassailable architecture of forbidden knowledge.

An undercover assignment that will prove fatal to you

And a massive attack is imminent.

And a soldier, as you keep reminding us all!

And all round obnoxious arsehole

And also,

And always in John's presence.

And anyway, why are you telling me all this?

And as long as it is,

And Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke.

And brilliantly planned murder or attempted murder

And British Birds.

And certainly not the best friend

And complete your story.

And congratulations, by the way.

And contrast is, after all,

And currently in my possession.

And Davis, Well and Christie are heading up.

And down again.

And down I go to my vaults.

And everything he holds dear.

And exotic dancing

And extraordinarily retentive memories.

And floating all the way around you.

And hasn't bothered to pick this thread off of the top of his jacket

And he has created

And he's not my best friend.

And he's sentimental because the hat has been repaired three...

And his partner, John Hamish Watson.

And how dare you betray the love of your friends!

And how did you do it all so quickly?

And I assume you befriended Janine in order to get close to him.

And I can't even remember what for.

And I don't want to see that happen.

And I found this thing online,

And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down

And I know we haven't known each other for a long time.

And I want to be up there with the two people

And I was a little daunted in the face of it.

And I will.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say

And I've met his mum and dad and his friends and all his family.

And if I ever find out who, I shall turn absolutely monstrous.

And if we don't do this, other people will die!

And in time, one feels certain, our entire species.

And indicated that I was, in some ways,

And injury

And instead of endless nights in watching the telly

And irrational and sentimental

And it just got harder and harder to pick up the phone somehow.

And it's physically painful watching you think.

And John Hamish Watson.

And John's great, too.

And may God rest his soul.

And meeting you,

And Mummy and Daddy will cry.

And Mycroft?

And next time, we're going to catch them in the act.

And none of it is on a computer.

And not return their calls?

And now you're showing me a knife. Is it a clue?

And occasionally useful to us.

And of course, because he's in town tonight,

And of course, I have to mention The Elephant in the Room.

And off you pop.

And on top of that he actually knows how to do stuff.

And one final touch, a squash ball under the armpit.

And one of them might need help with a tyre.

And one should embrace it when it comes.

And only six carriages arrive at St James's Park

And part of my job is to wipe the security footage

And preys on their secrets. Why don't you?

And quite frankly, it was the usual.

And ran the best and safest children's homes in North England.

And rehearsed the murder,

And right now, I'm slightly worried that he might.

And Security Services will be converging on this house.

And Sherlock, I will never let that happen.

And since killing someone in public is difficult,

And sort it out and do it quickly.

And stay out of my bedroom.

And stay shut up. Because this is not funny.

And tear your whole life down.

And tell me you're not going to tell him.

And that after extensive police investigations,

And that journey took 10 minutes.

And that means he'll do it again.

And that way his view was blocked by the ambulance station.

And the car is empty at St James's Park station.

And the cycling isn't doing it.

And the leaning tomb in Hampstead Cemetery.

And the odds are comprehensively stacked against us.

And the woman who's carrying my child

And the woman, she knew.

And the women will cry and John will cry buckets and buckets.

And then dress in the clothes you brought with you.

And then everyone got to work.

And then I found out about all the other women.

And then I sat back and watched Moriarty

And then we moved to Florida.

And then what?

And then you just let your old friends slip away.

And then you left the way you came.

And there we are having dinner one week on.

And they'll have every justification to search my vaults.

And tragic loss.

And uncomprehending in the face of the happy.

And we are all very happy.

And we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.

And we're having quite a lot of sex.

And what about John Watson?

And what's in that one?

And when will that be?

And yet, over a distance of six feet you failed to make a kill shot.

And you don't? Ever?

And you married me

And you never even see his face.

And you really thought he was the one, didn't you?

And you will awaken in three, two, one...

And you wouldn't even feel it.

And you're a brilliant dancer.

And you're confident you have?

And you've got potatoes on it.

And your homeless network?

And your pen pal's emails just stopped, did they?

And your skills are appalling.

And, uh, I found something a bit bizarre.

And, um, there was one night...

And, um...

And...

ANDERSON: Right now the bullet is the cork in a bottle.

ANDERSON: So we need to take him down backwards.

ANDERSON: What about the sniper aiming at John?

Another hour.

Another in here.

Any clues, Mr. Holmes?

Any documents that Magnussen has concerning yourself, you want...

Any idea who they are, this underground network?

Any of the British Prime Ministers you have known.

Any of the British Prime Ministers you have known.

Anyone else even tries, security is automatically informed.

Anyone else? I mean, we're taking everybody home, are we?

Anyway, it was then that I first noticed it was missing.

Anyway, it's time for dancing. Play the music again, please. Thank you.

Anyway, time to go and be Sherlock Holmes.

Anyway, you wouldn't care if it was exposed, would you?

Anyway. You're safe now.

Anyway... (CHUCKLING)

Anywhere in the world.

Apologies for earlier, a crisis arose and was dealt with.

Apologise about my, you know...

Appledore.

Apply enough pressure and it momentarily cuts off the pulse.

Are my privilege.

Are we protecting if we start spying on our own people?

Are you going to see him again?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you really going to keep that?

Are you sure?

Are you two smoking?

Are you?

Are your business.

Aren't there usually biscuits?

Aren't you?

Arse end of the universe with the scum of the Earth. Look at me?

As a matter of urgency.

As a mental exercise, I have often planned

As any I had ever contemplated.

As does lethal injection.

As I explained, the whole street was closed off. Like a scene from a play.

As it turns out, you're needed.

As keen as I was but I...

As Sherlock Holmes was vindicated and cleared of all suspicion.

As you know, these last couple of years haven't been easy for me.

Ashton.

Ask me.

At first I thought it was just a Bible thing, you know, spam, but it's not.

At first I thought it was just a Bible thing, you know, spam, but it's not.

At least not until it's been cleared, so he disguises himself,

At this hour, almost certainly his PA.

Aw, let's stick her by the bogs.

Back to Baker Street,

Back! Now

Backup, I need maximum backup.

Bad girl.

Bad, bad girl.

Bainbridge was on parade. He came off duty five minutes ago.

Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him,

Bainbridge!

Bainbridge!

Bainbridge? Bainbridge!

Baker Street, now.

Baker Street? He isn't there any more.

Baker Street.

Baker Street. Now.

Balance of probability, little brother.

Balance of probability.

Basically, it's a cute smile to the bride's side,

Bastard.

Battle stations, someone's going to die.

Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions,

Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions,

Because he attacks people who are different

Because he hasn't chewed the bobble on the right.

Because he's right.

Because he's tracking them down himself...

Because I do. Right, I'll see you tonight. I've got some shopping to do.

Because I've always had total faith in her.

Because it doesn't matter about the gun.

Because it was closed before it ever opened.

Because it was important to let him believe he had the upper hand.

Because John can't ever know that I lied to him.

Because Sherlock Holmes has made one enormous mistake

Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.

Because that's where they sit.

Because the one person he thought didn't matter at all to me

Because there were loads of smackheads in there

Because we are about to dance together in public

Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently.

Because we've got work to do.

Because you chose her.

Because you saved my life.

Because you saved my life.

Because you won't love me when you've finished.

Because you're Sherlock Holmes, you're as clever as it gets.

Because, uh, does yours rub off, too?

Before the evening begins properly.

Behave, Mike.

Beheadings.

Behind the clock face of Big Ben.

Being back. Being a hero again.

Being Sherlock Holmes.

Best man I ever knew.

Best thing about the English...

Bill. Bill Wiggins.

Billy Kincaid.

Bit disappointed

Bit mean springing it on you like that, I know.

Bit young for you, isn't it?

Blood.

Bloody good question.

Blooming things. I said, "Why don't you get a chain,

Boring people he couldn't stand,

Boring. Boring. Boring. No!

Boring. Your move.

Both advertised for their strength.

Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock.

Both of you now, go, dance. We can't just stand here,

Both of you, in fact, I just miscounted.

Both of you.

BOTH: Six months old.

Bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp.

Bridesmaid, best man, it's a bit traditional.

Brilliant, ruthless and almost certainly a monomaniac.

Broke after piercing his abdomen, like a meat...

Brother, dear.

Built in flash drive?

But also a creature of habit

But any pressure or impact on the entrance wound could dislodge it.

But anyway, let's talk about John.

But as I am, apparently, your best friend,

But five? Five's obsessive behaviour.

But for the record,

But from now on, there's a new story.

But he was the only one? The only one who knew?

But he won't be there, not tonight.

But he's dead. I mean, you told me he was dead, Moriarty.

But he's got a great singing voice or somebody does...

But I believe I'm bleeding internally. My pulse is very erratic.

But I deduced Moriarty must have found someone who looked very like me

But I hardly saw her after that.

But I mean, you... You are in a relationship?

But I tend to rub them up the wrong way.

But I think someone's stalking me.

But I'm not supposed to have a problem with that,

But I've cut it down to the really good bits.

But if I do this... If you press a key card against your mobile phone

But if it's corrupted, how do they know it's not Magnussen?

But if you are what I think you are, it'll take you less than a minute.

But if you just know it, then you don't have proof.

But in all of this, there is only one element

But in my defence, it was very funny.

But it all got tied up in legal disputes

But it doesn't read as the wrong card now.

But it takes John Watson to save your life.

But it went wrong.

But it'll be in an odd phrase in an online blog

But it's Christmas.

But it's not though, is it, because he's...

But it's really preying on my mind

But just one phone call, John!

But look how you care about John Watson.

But not obligatory.

But nothing's going to prevent them from pulling the trigger.

But of course, I didn't know what he was up to.

But only for one night.

But she wasn't supposed to be like that.

But she's...

But stacking up the lives saved against the garrottings,

But that's not possible. That is simply not possible.

But the cubicle was locked from the inside, sir

But the language has a Slavic root.

But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks. Just calm down.

But the terror alert has been raised to critical.

But there may be some new players now.

But there's a nun with all these holes in her habit.

But there's something else. The driver of that train hasn't been to work since.

But they weren't letting anyone into Parliament.

But this is different.

But we needed him to see a body.

But we should have you two over for dinner

But we want something very particular for this special day, don't we?

But we'll see how the night goes.

But why, though? Why detach it in the first place?

But why?

But you can't do this again, can you?

But you didn't. You were always right, I wasn't dead.

But you don't have to fear it!

But you don't understand the pain of it, the horror.

But you have to trust me. I'll find the answer.

But you overdid it, Phillip, you and your little fan club.

But you're the expert on women.

But you've missed his isolation.

But you've only three seconds of consciousness left to use it.

But, uh, maybe if you'd like my personal recommendation...

But, you know, I live in hope of the right case.

But, you know, they're...

By demonstrating the exact severity of...

By Lady Elizabeth Smallwood

By now your brother will have noticed the theft

By picturing it.

By your skill set, you are or were an intelligence agent.

Bye, then.

Call an ambulance now!

Call me if you hear anything, don't hold out on me, John.

Calm? I am calm, I'm extremely calm.

Came up to me in a pub.

Can I ask what this is in connection with?

Can I do your eye now?

Can I flick your face?

Can I get in, please?

Can I have a moment?

Can I see?

Can you believe his nerve?

Can you imagine what real people are like?

Can you recall the subjects under discussion?

Can't handle a broken heart. How very telling.

Can't have sometimes. Has to be, um..

Can't stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once,

Can't... Can't we rip the timer off or something?

Capable of stopping that disgusting creature.

Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers...

Care to elaborate?

Caring.

Cars can be ordered,

Cartel.

Change the subject, now.

Changed everything.

Changing the subject completely...

Charing Cross is made up of bits of older stations,

Charles Augustus Magnussen.

Charlotte.

Cheap card.

Check if it's him or not.

Cheers

CHORUS: (ON PHONE) ♪ Do you hear the people sing? ♪

Civilian life suiting you, then?

Claire de la lune?

Claire de la lune.

Claire de la lune. Why do I know it?

Classes?

Clean?

Clearly, it's a rare opportunity,

Clearly. But more importantly...

Clearly. Go and have some more.

Clearly. Go and have some more.

Clever.

Clever. Important to some people.

Client.

Closer.

Come for me, too?

Come on, come on. There is actually an element of Q&A to all of this.

Come on, for Mary. Bring me your face.

Come on, for Mary. Keep it open.

Come on, husband, let's go.

Come on, it's me. It's me, come on.

Come on, quick.

Come on, Sherlock.

Come on, you'll have to go down, they want the story

Come on.

Come on.

Come.

Comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast

Comes to us all.

Complete flake, my wife, but happens to be a genius.

Conforms to that pattern?

Could be a coincidence.

Could be any second.

Could have been both.

Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will.

Could you, still?

Couldn't tell.

Course he bloody did. Now, save me a little time.

Course you're my best friend.

Course, there's hours of material here,

Crime scene.

Crime, something like that

Criminal intent.

Currently, he's going home alone. Also, he's a comics and sci fi geek,

Cute smile to the groom's side and then the rings.

Dagger.

Damn!

Damn! Come on, we can do this.

Dark hair. Long.

Darling, I'm so sorry.

Dated a ghost, most interesting case for months.

David.

Deal with the Devil.

Dear, Mr. Holmes, my name is Bainbridge

Death.

Delighted not to have me hanging around.

Delightful.

Demolition charges.

Derren Brown?

Designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.

Despite my reputation, I really don't approve of collateral damage.

Destroy my reputation, bit by bit.

Detached it where?

Did I do it wrong?

Did she faint?

Did you bring any morphine? I asked on the phone.

Did you bring your gun as I suggested?

Did you get him off a murder charge?

Did you just drug my pregnant wife?

Did you just get engaged to break into an office?

Did you miss me? Did you miss me? Did you miss me?

Did you miss me? Did you miss me? Did you miss me?

Did you notice the one extraordinary thing he did?

Did you think you'd found the right one when you married Mr. Hudson?

Did you, uh...

Didn't expect to see you here.

Didn't go to any trouble, did you?

Didn't you think it was intriguing?

Different names, different addresses.

Digging for some bloody royal story or something?

Discuss theories!

Distracting me so that this man could get in here and kill Bainbridge?

Do "people" like me?

Do come in. It's a little cramped.

Do it!

Do not fire!

Do they really do that?

Do what in front of everyone?

Do what?

Do what?

Do you have a secret you've never told anyone?

Do you have a secret you've never told anyone?

Do you have a vacancy?

Do you have an international reputation?

Do you have anything to say in your defence?

Do you honestly believe that if you have enough stupid theories

Do you know any funny stories about John?

Do you know what I mean?

Do you remember Redbeard?

Do you think I know a lot of people here?

Do you think it right that a newspaper proprietor,

Does a thing,

Doesn't even know he's doing it.

Doesn't mean I'm not pleased to see you.

Don't appal me when I'm high.

Don't be absurd.

Don't be silly. Some women have large heads, too.

Don't compromise the integrity of the...

Don't drink Mary's tea.

Don't get involved.

Don't lose it.

Don't make me do it out here, not...

Don't move!

Don't move.

Don't panic. None of you panic.

Don't reply, just look frightened and scuttle.

Don't solve the murder, save the life.

Don't speak, just leave.

Don't tell me I don't.

Don't worry, I'll keep him in trouble.

Don't worry, Mary, I have been tutoring him.

Don't worry. I'll find him in 10 minutes.

Don't worry. Wiggins is an excellent chemist.

Don't you worry about anything. I'll get you out of this.

Don't you, Mr. Magnussen?

Done that bit.

Done that bit. Done that bit.

Done that. Done that.

Dream come true for you, this place.

Dungeon.

During our own burglary? You're really not a natural at this, are you?

Each of them were rigorously worked out and given a code name.

Either I've caught you in a compromising position

ELDERLY WOMAN: It wasn't where I'd put it at all. Silly woman.

Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night.

Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock.

Enjoy the wedding.

Enjoy the wedding.

Enough to hospitalise me, not enough to kill me.

Equally, it sometimes needs a dagger.

Er, no, they don't.

Er, um...

Er, yes, if he's good.

Er, yes, well, I think so, sir.

Erm... What was I going to say?

Estée Lauder.

Even carry an equipment bag around with him if he likes.

Even Scotland Yard could getsomewhere with that.

Even the exact ones that he landed on, you know they were all...

Even the landlady used to run a drug cartel.

Even the staircases,

Even though you've behaved like...

Even willing to search through the toxic waste dump

Everyone has secrets and they all replied too quickly.

Everything about who I was is on there.

Everything starts in England.

Everything was anticipated, every eventuality allowed for

Everything you need's on that.

Everything you've ever done is what you did.

Everything.

Everything's available for a price.

Ex con, white supremacist by the tattoos, so who cares?

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. To go with my..

Exactly. When he showed us the letters.

Except it's not dead eyed, is it?

Except wedding planning and serviettes, he's rubbish at those.

Exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.

Excuse me for a second.

Excuse me, coming through, consulting.

Excuse me, coming through.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me.

Excuse you!

Explain that, Mr. Holmes.

Extracted and returned.

Extraordinary lengths.

Facts are for history books, I work in news.

Fall now.

Family and friends.

Fascinating.

Feel every quiver of its beating heart.

FEMALE REPORTER: Sadly, all this comes too late for the detective,

Filing.

Find it.

Fine, talk about the house.

Fine. Yes.

Finished with that, sir? Allow me to take it for you.

First things first.

First word, then every third. "Save John Watson".

Five known bolt holes.

Five of them are behaving perfectly normally but the sixth...

Five times. Very neatly.

Floating, flat faces, those dead eyes?

For all the hurt that I caused you.

For all the hurt that I caused you.

For all three of you.

For any sane individual to get involved in.

For girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world.

For God's sake!

For long enough, it corrupts the magnetic strip, the card stops working.

For me. I need a best man.

For one person to be in both groups...

For this speech? Gotta cut the cake.

For those who understand these things,

For wading in.

Forgive me but...

Forgive me but...

Forgive me.

Forgive me.

Forty enlisted men and officers.

Forwards or backwards.

Four women in four nights. He must have something special.

Free love nest.

Frequent Turkish and German loan words.

Friends, that's all I have. Lots of friends.

From a wound in his stomach but there was no weapon.

From now on, I swear I will always be there, always,

From the top of London's Barts Hospital.

Funny.

Gave it all up for children.

Gentleman here to see you

Get away from me, John! Stay well back.

Get down, John!

Get me out of here

Get me some morphine from your kitchen, I've run out.

Get off early, leave them laughing.

Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you.

Get up, I'm going to put you two in a taxi.

Getting their names from the obituary columns.

Ghastly. What were they thinking of?

Ginger. I like gingers.

Give my love to Mary.

Giving me time to switch places with the corpse on the pavement.

Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock,

Go on, let me in.

Go on, search me, no weapon.

Go on, show me.

Go, John. Go now!

Go. Or I'll cut you.

God knows where she is.

God no. One of his rivals,

God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me and then His Nibs turns up.

God, look at the time, I'll be late.

God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation.

Going to invite her in?

Good boy, clever boy.

Good morning.

Good, because this is going to be incredibly dangerous.

Good, innit?

Goodbye.

Gosh, you don't know anything about human nature, do you?

Got a theory?

Got to go.

Grating in the air vent..

Great, yeah. Dinner! Yeah.

Great. I'll have that one, please.

Greg? Is that Greg?

GUARD: Company, halt!

GUESTS: To the bride and the groom.

Guilt! That's all this is.

Had to be got out of the way as soon as his usefulness ended.

Hamish. (CLEARING THROAT)

Hang on, hang on, Sumatra Road

Hang on.

Hang on. Tell me after. I need the loo.

Hang on. Weren't there other people?

Hanging around with that detective, the one with the silly hat.

Hardly merciful, Mr. Holmes.

Hardlyanyone notices, people live here foryears and never see it

Has everybody gone? I heard shouting.

Has to be a unique opportunity.

Has wreaked havoc with their line dancing.

Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best.

Have a lovely day. Call me later.

Have a party, go on a short holiday,

Have a seat.

Have you come for me?

Have you come to torment me?

Have you ever been to the shark tank at the London Aquarium, John?

Having a wash.

Having arrived, they'll find top secret information in my hands.

He always corrects it. He's OCD.

He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead

He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains.

He doesn't necessarily have to be isolated.

He gets into the last car at Westminster, the only passenger,

He gets more death threats than you.

He gets more death threats than you.

He got into the shower and then someone stabbed him.

He had a lovely manner.

He had a mask on.

He has a dinner reservation in the Marylebone Road.

He is the Napoleon of blackmail.

He knew who shot him.

He knows we don't have a friend called Beth.

He mentions him all the time to me. Never shuts up about him.

He met her only once before the letters began.

He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue.