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Home > The Simpsons - Season 11
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A dog can't type. [ Mutters ] Unfortunately.
A gang. That's the answer.
A little on the nose, don't you think?
A new life. A second chance... for revenge.
Absolutely. If you watch even one second of PBS and don't contribute...
According to Redbook magazine, what is the speed of light?.
Actually, I was in the mood for some frittatas.
Afraid so. But hey, the grub's pretty good, huh?. [ Chuckles ]
After pie.
After the show, Meryl Streep spit on me
Ah, don't do this to yourself, Mel, The guy's obviously a nut,
Ah, don't mind if I do.
Ah, trash night. In France they call it ''la nuit de poubelle. ''
Ah, we're so lucky to have this untouched piece of paradise so close to Springfield.
Ah! Oh. Am I really that ugly?
Ah. Safe in the core. And now
Aha ha! Prepare to die!
Ahh, it's good to be home.
All I do is talk for two hours, I don't shoot anybody,
All I know is my testicles won't fit in my underwear.
All I'm saying is don't get too comfortable. Mr. Burns will be back tomorrow.
All right
All right, all right, I'm sorry,
All right, class. Today we'll be sitting quietly in the dark...
All right, I'll go. You don't have to be a jerk about it.
All right, now age the picture five years. That's him.
All right, people, we've all seen the dogs now, so [ Gasps ]
All right, people. If you're not in a diaper, get off my stage.
All right! Silly String!
All right! Time for some underage gambling. So long. sucker!
All right! We got our first gig!
Although they seem strange to us. we must respect the ways of the Indian.
Amy said there are lots of religions. Which is the right one?
An overdue tribute to halftime itself.
And after all the bad things I said about you.
And all I ask is that you let the local folks share a little glimpse of your blessing
And am interested in purchasing one of your electronic autos,
And another thing, you have to stop calling me that.
And castles made of sand
And freeze.
And he comes home every night with other people's blood on his shirt.
And he fought for them once, For the only reason any man ever does
And I owe it all to a little glove slap.
And I want a non gay explanation!
And I'm going to give you all of Maude's frequent Squishy points.
And I'm gonna stay right here and fight for this lost cause,
And if anyone asks you, just say that you are not dead.
And it's all thanks to one generous caller who didn't leave his name.
And lo, what a wondrous message it is.
And me being banned from the church and all...
And Now it's time to go back to Do shut up
And now, the good people at Fan demonium, as part of a generous settlement...
And other spreadable things
And remember, the best stuff is usually deep in the garbage juice.
And thanks to you, Funzo is the first doll designed by children..
And that's my cue to exit.
And that's the end of that chapter.
And that's why our final award honors a man..
And the bed never needs to be made. Check it out.
And the next 20 callers will get this album of museum noises.
And the Van Houtens were enjoying a storybook marriage.
And then I called the queen of England and asked her how it was going'.
And then I'd marry you
And then, as day broke..
And there's some footage of Maggie being born that I couldn't get rid of.
And this tomato will be Hunt's catsup.
And today we're showing all seven episodes.
And when I heard it was for awareness, that sealed the deal
And when you get a job interview..
And you have that scholarship to Ivy League State
And your new life begins today.
And your picture's on the cover!
Anyhoo, welcome to our test screening,,,
Anything! Ow! Ow!
Anyway. can I get you some Soylent Green?
Anyway. the point is. you still have the power to change your future.
Are you saying the end justifies the means?
Are you sure you want a child, Apu?
Arr, I now pronounce ya man and cow.
As true today as it was when it was written.
At Polystar Pictures,
Aw, how come bears can crap in the woods and I can't?
Aw, the zoning disk is warped.
Back in high school, I asked you...
Bart, get those oranges out of there.
Bart, honey, I think you should go play with Rod and Todd.
Bart, stop that!
Bart! Bart! Krusty just fired his associate producer.
Becky, you're my rose. Will you let me be your thorn?.
Before, my energy was all over the place.
Belly button moving from..
Belly up for the Duff Beer tender of the year contest.
Besides, it's not just his chiseled good looks,
Bill. Bill. Ooh. ''Llib.'' Wait a minute. Bill. Huh?
Billy Graham's Bible Blaster?
Bleh! This virtual fudge tastes like crap.
Boy, that quiet engine sure makes conversation a lot easier,
Boy, you can see everything from Mount Springfield
Breakfast is served.
Burt Reynolds apologized to the pope and promised to replace the windshield.
But all the laughs in the world won't protect you...
But do you have to be so messy?
But how did they know?,
But I liked the nice things you said about me,
But I'm getting pretty sick of them and their Bombay attitude!
But I've been Dr. Tad Winslow for 25 years.
But I've stumbled upon the most delicious British sitcom.
But is it right to put such young children on display?
But it is only through arduousity that
But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp cereal.
But the sprinkler is gone. It's time to let go.
But there can't be two Dr. Tad Winslows!
But this is a total teardown.
But was I told that it's untrue that people in Springfield have no faith?
But we have everything we need right here.
But we just want to party.
But what does make sense is putting your children in the hands of Mr. Kidkill here
But what will I watch while I'm sitting on the couch?
But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies.
But you traded your amplifier for a boogie board.
But, uh, but that Maude, she was really somethin'.
Bye bye.
Can still lead rich, full lives.
Can the medical mumbo jumbo. Can you fix me or not?
Can you imagine this booze bag at the wheel of a whirlybird?
Cheer up. Son.
Classic. Not hard to see why it's England's longest running series.
Cobras?. I thought you were the Hell's Satans
Come on, bikini inspector.
Come on, Maggie. You can trust me.
Come on. Eat, you lazy fish.
Concerned about the environment
Cool. Way to adapt, little guy
Cost of paper: five cents. A mother's love: priceless.
Could it be the drug kicking in?
Could that be I say, could that be mincemeat pie?
Craig and Amy were also building a chapel.
Craig and Amy were digging a well.
Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy. Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy?
Cure me! Cure me!
D'oh! [ Screams ]
D'oh! [ Screams ]
D'oh! [ Screams ]
D'oh! [ Screams ]
Da Uh Don't give me that kiss of death, you black widow!
Dad pushed a waitress. and Mom lost $20.000.
Dad, are you licking toads?
Dad, I gave you a list.
Disco Stu wants you to be comfortable while he does his thing.
Disco Stu's gonna groove up some dough playing tic tac toe.
Do all these people have to watch me?
Do they know how many eggs it laid in your brain?.
Do you think I could grow up to be a doctor?.
Don't need it anymore. Doctor says my butt bone's stronger than ever.
Don't tell Otto, but I'm not into heavy metal and he loves it
Don't worry, little friends. I won't hurtyou.
Don't worry, Mom. I'm sure he'll be okay.
Downhill skiers missing fun
Dude. you know I'm good for it. I'll have plenty of money when my lawsuit pays off.
Duff Man... can't breathe.
Each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.
Echh! The foul stench of youth!
Eep! [ Gasps ]
Eh, yes.
Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.
Especially since we've just been accepted in the school band competition at the county fair!
Especially when we send it to him piece by piece.
Established in 1883.
Even the controversial Clue in the Clock.
Every disease on this chart.
Everything we pack in, we pack out.
Excellent. Your lingo is progressing nicely.
Excuse me. We just came to get our balloon.
Experts recommend a class nine...
Featuring our new center square, Homer "Perfect Game"Simpson.
Fightin' over a fan belt.
Finally I've won the respect of my fellow m Get away from it!
Fine, you win. I'll doyour shopping foryou
First, we must install buttocks.
Flavor ofthe month?. Me?.
For a wife's well being in my life
For children, with all the profits going to children
For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.
Fourscore and four, fourscore and five...
From the stern discipline of the Baron.
From... anonymous. Done and done.
Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists...
Gather round, everyone. I'm gonna teach you about religion.
Get every dime. The Whifflesnops need new cummerbunds.
Get it away from the house!
Get to the ''workin' overtime'' part!
Goes far beyond the realm of the high jink.
Goes to church every week, and likes to fix things around the
Good for you, not being bound by the recommended age.
Good morning, honey. Mmm!
Good night, Springfield. We'll be back in an hour.
Guys. the thing is. we totally have the money. and we tried to wire it to you.
Ha ha!
Hah! Attempted murder one.
Hang on. I'm getting a fax.
Have you nerds forgotten everything I taught you?
Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger...
He'll do it. I'm not the first Teller.
He's out there, isn't he?
He's thinking what we're all sayin'.
Headgear? Chicken pox?
Heal. Heal. Heal!
Hello, everybody! Did somebody say "A perfect game"?
Hello, I, uh, love your planet deeply,,,
Hello, Springfield. How ya
Hello?. Hello?. They hung up.
Hello. I'd like to speak to President Clinton. please.
Hello. I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm going to take out your liver bones.
Here are your lunches. And no trading your fruit for firecrackers.
Here, have an ear on me.
Hey, a note.
Hey, everybody! I'm gonna be on TV again.
Hey, I'm doing the best with the material I have.
Hey, I'm not a time burglar.
Hey, it's getting away! Step on it. Hyah! Hyah!
Hey, look at those dogs going at it!
Hey, Moe, this license expired in 1 973...
Hey, Mom! How's the leg?.
Hey, phaser, phaser, phaser.