Will & Grace (1998) - Season 1 Edit

A good soup is all you're gonna get from me

A while.

Actually, no

After all we've been through?

After dinner, he walked me to the subway.

Ah, yes. "Lower back pain.

Alex, come on in. Jack's just locking up...

Alex, this is my assistant, Will. Will, I'm a lawyer and this is Alex.

Alex! Kill time!

All I'm saying is, you're a realtor.

All right, 11 :30.

All right, boys. My deal.

All right, bring that son of a bitch back in here,

All right, I guess I'll head home.

All right, I guess we're ready.

All right, so I think I've got it now

All right, we are gonna get you on the phone

All your time is me time

Am I in the right place, Grace Adler Designs?

And about to engage in some Greco Roman wrestling.

And deceived me..

And hate me at a more appropriate time,

And I don't want you to feel uncomfortable

And I know that you're feeling sort of fragile

And I was in Bloomingdales this morning waiting on line

And I will be your massage therapist."

And Jack is...

And Karen.

And look now, there's Bianca

And read them something before bedtime.

And she's all, "I don't have to answer that."

And shoes with live fish in the heels

And thanks for the flowers and the telegram

And the the that's all folks!

And the jabs. You go, boy.

And then it came to me, clear as a bell

And time is up

And United States Champion Rudy Galindo!

And what do you know, I mean,

And who will always be there for you?

And with her husband, it's "often" and "where." She's gross.

And your little dog, too

Anyway, my name is Jack McFarland, and tonight I will be showcasing

Are you ready for a bag full of happiness?

Are you sure? 'Cause if you're not, then

Aren't we?

As your attorney, it gives me great pleasure to inform you

At first I was afraid

At least I'm not married to a gay guy.

At least with breakfast grains.

B) this meditation room is just too good.

Backne.

Backs you up against the sink

Bad! Bad! Horrible, horrible.

Be there, be blown away.

Because every piece of furniture was a hollowed out animal.

Because I am fine!

Because I didn't like the way she did the apartment, did you?

Because I think you meant to bark that at her.

Because the PIE ratio really points out the inflated value

Big news!

Blame it on the Bossa Nova

Boobs up and out.

Boy, you didn't even have to search for those insults

Busy?

But believe me, it was necessary.

But come on, honey. Don't give up the ghost.

But do you want to get together later. grab a beer?

But you know what?

But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be

But, honey, it's your birthday

But. I mean. you know. if you

But. really. take my word for it. I'm okay about Michael.

Campbell. is that you?

Can we go?

Can't, because I promised Jack he could stay with me.

Cards are dealt down.

Champions On lce

Chop chop.

Clamato juice.

Come on, boy. Get your Evian. Here.

Come on, Grace, you gotta do something.

Come on, Karen, come downtown with me.

Come on, Will. I tried that in college

Come on, Will. You are who you are

Come on! It's not that big a deal. You can stay at your mother's.

Come on. Will, lots of people don't pay their taxes.

Could you move over?

Danny gets back to town in a week

Decided it'd be more fun to slip and slide

Did they say feed him now or later?

Do "The Hustle."

Do you have floss in your bathroom? I'm out

Do you have to call her a bitch?

Do you think I actually enjoy debating velvet versus velour?

Do you think I'm a good businesswoman?

Don't answer that

Don't be mad

Don't buy the place if it's gonna make you feel like this

Don't even get me started with that little witch.

Don't make me get my friend Joni over here.

Each time you describe the sofa you add another thousand.

Ellen, honey, could you bring in Will's denial file?

Ever since she's moved in, I never get any me time

Every morning. I "spramp" my face with cold water.

Every year, I end up doing what I don't want to do

Evil, thy name is Ooey.

Excuse me, can you just hold on a second? Thank you

Excuse me, Mr. Lawyer, is this your bike lock?

Face the pain of adolescence.

Fine.

First of all, there was no other buyer, was there?

First of all, they'll give you a payment plan,

First of all, Thomas is a dermatologist.

For Lady Bunny and her All Boy Revue on Friday.

From the doorman at the Dakota.

Further, go on. Eh, eh, eh...

Gettin' a little sick, what's in this thing?

God. Paul is dead.

Good for you, Jack. You actually got a date without

Good morning.

Got Thai food... again.

Grace, I am your assistant

Grace, I can only do this with you. You're my best friend.

Grace, what about you? Did you read it?

Grace.

Grace. we're going to a cabin in the woods

Guys. thank you

Ha! This is great.

He liked my perfume. And my shampoo

He was talking, I was tuning in and out,

He's gonna be here any minute.

He's kidding.

He's the only guy that showed up for the audition,

Here. on the porch.

Here' show it'll go, "Howdy

Hey, everybody.

Hey, you know, I have told her about this.

Hey!

Hey. wait a minute..

Hi.

Honey, honey, the puppy talk.

Honey, no, no, she can't move into his place.

Honey...

Hot, hot, hot! Hot!

How about, "Grace, you look like crap"?

How did you get up without buzzing?

How do you substantiate the $2,100 for magazine subscriptions?

How? Worshipped how?

How's it gonna be

Huh huh, now there's a costume.

Husband?

I am bleeding because of a particularly unforgivable prick.

I am not in denial. Come on, I don't have all day.

I can do the single tear

I can't help but take it personally.

I can't talk you out of this?

I cannot believe you could not sit through a 90 minute movie.

I could have sworn I heard you say Brooklyn.

I cry really good.

I didn't I didn't want to upset you.

I didn't bring it.

I don't really have anything in common with Karen

I don't take pills

I don't think you know Grace at all.

I don't want a stranger raising my dog.

I dunno, honey. Sounds like a dessert that repeats.

I dunno, I made a lot of money tonight.

I forgot too. I'm sorry.

I had problems with Michael, and clearly,

I have the chance to buy my studio

I hope you got some breakfast bars 'cause I'm in a rush.

I knew it.

I know.

I love people, as long as they're not hairy.

I love you

I love you, but no, no, Grace, we need to have our own apartments

I mean, I'm like one of those weird fish that you always see

I only read the first few pages, but something tells me this isn't

I really feel terrible. I didn't know what else to do

I really loved cowboys. Still do, by the way

I really wanted a cowboy party, you know, like a cowboy cake?

I should do this.

I stopped dressing up when I grew out of my mother's shoes.

I think we're done. Here's the figure you owe

I think you think that it's about me wanting a kid,

I thought Robert was the one.

I took an oath in front of God, and my mother!

I wanna know more about what you think is fair.

I was doing what you asked me to do.

I wasn't talking about you

I went to bed young, I woke up Ari Onassis

I will be home anyway,

I wish she could have finished the job

I'd like a dinner reservation for three on Tuesday

I'd like to see you do a double axel, double loop, double lutz,

I'll do it,

I'll have my assistant fax over the application

I'm a coffee table!

I'm a sport Iook here, it says right here

I'm above the fireplace.

I'm acting like a straight guy, and it's making me sick

I'm almost certain you're not going to need a sequined purse.

I'm asking Grace to move in

I'm gonna cook

I'm gonna have a quick cry in the swatch room.

I'm Grace Adler! I design!

I'm Harlin Polk. I'm supposed to meet Grace.

I'm having a stage reading Tuesday and I'm a little anxious about it

I'm here, darling.

I'm here. I can't believe I'm here

I'm just gonna have a happy party in my head.

I'm meeting Harlin for drinks at my place,

I'm tired of being just a pair of hands to you, Karen.

I'm waving the white delicate.

I'm working till midnight at Ed's Beachcomber.

I've been waiting for those hands all day.

I've got mold on my shower curtain that is in escrow.

I've got your back.

I've had to do it all by myself, and look, look.

If you prick me, I bleed, and right now,

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go down to the laundry room.

In the entire Southwest.

Is Karen here?

Is that if a neurotic wingnut like you can get on with her love life

It announces its own goodness right in its name.

It just sounds sexy, doesn't it?

It looked like Gene Autry exploded in there.

It was fine. It was nothing

It wasn't because of the apartment,

It'd have to be someone with enough meat slash fat on him

It's 11 :30. Come on. get it in gear

It's a blueprint. Yeah.

It's called...

It's gonna look better over here.

It's good coffee, hm mm?

It's insanely competitive,