Malcolm in the Middle - Season 1 Edit

A candy bar?

A knife, my bedroll and some emergency rations.

A pageant, though.

A stinkin' son of a...

About sending Francis to a work farm

All I come home to every night are three howling cats and... Bob.

All I've got are all the reasons

All kinds of financial plans available.

All right, everyone in the car as is.

All right, let's see it.

All right, men.

All right, then

All right!

All right!

All right.

All right. Take him to his room.

All washed.

Am I the only one that cared about her?

And all I get are complaints!

And attack weaknesses in your character.

And Dewey, I'll try to make this easy for you to understand.

And I got a big black toe.

And I want to go to the concert with Julie!

And I'm really sorry for that

And keep on walking.

And l I think that Malcolm may be ditching because he's afraid that...

And she's going to reveal herself

And sit down?

And they wouldn't bother making it "forbidden"

And twisted it toward his own mad ends

And you don't hear me complaining.

And you have to work the graveyard shift

Anyone for doubles?

Anyone want the last olive?

Apparently my shoulder muscles are asymmetrical

Apple or g****?

Are mixed with the God knows what.

Aunt Helen.

Because I've given up

Because she'll be so mad at you

Because you're treating me like a baby!

Between the rotary actuator

Block, chop, they're on the ground gasping for air. It's over with.

Boy, has it been two days already?

Boy, it's stuffy in here

Boys, your mother's mobile.

But I know you kids like that in line stuff.

But I really like her

But I want you boys to understand something

But I would have played with the carpet cleaner

But let's not make eye contact for a couple weeks.

But like I said, it was just an accident. I swear.

But now that we're going to the funeral

But sir, these guys are going to kick my ass if I win

But that's a just a lame excuse.

But then, the pool gods can be fickle

But this is like... words

But today's the end

But wait till I put on the big blade

But what if I try my best and I still lose?

But when one does get through, it's a doozy

But..

Butterfly!

Can I offer you some cookie dough?

Can't we just talk?

Canteen, knife, survival blanket.

Car!

Carry on.

Certain questions arise.

Charles Dickens

Come on, already, think of something!

Come on, come on.

Come on.

Cool

Could I ask one favor?

Craig, what are you doing here?

Craig...

Dad had a tattoo?

Dad, listen...

Dad, no, I can't come home!

Dad, that was unbelievable.

Damn

Damn it! He hid the letter.

Darn it.

Dewey, your mother and I want to talk to you

Dewey: I hate my brothers.

Did you listen to anything Spangler said?

Discipline

Do we all want

Do you know what your problem is, cadet?

Do you think we're wealthy?!

Do you want to end up like Francis... or Uncle Pete?

Don't get cocky

Don't touch the candy, the price tags

Don't worry, here it is

Don't you dare!

Dude, hard core.

Duncle

Eight ball, corner pocket.

Enjoy the sun and wait for them to take me home

Especially since you're stuck with the extra ticket.

Everything I want, I can't have!

Feel free to thank the cadet after I leave

Fine

Fine

Firecrackers

For all I know, there's a new wrestling champion

For every senseless act of self destruction.

For the evil banshee she really is

For you

Francis told me

Francis..

From now on, no one has to do anything.

Get it before Mom wakes.

Get your jacket, we're going back to the store

Glibness. What a surprise.

Go ahead, do it

Go ahead.

Go ride the horsy out front.

Go, Wildcats, go, go.

God, I am so much better than you.

Goochy, goochy, goochy, goo.

Good job, Don!

Good.

Good. Now, here's how I see it:

Great.

Guess it can't be a special day without sodas, huh?

Guys, stop it

Had it not been for Francis' long history of crying wolf..

Hal: There we go.

Hands out front so you get a balance.

He didn't say a word on the way home

He wants juice.

He was right in your eye line

He'll be fine in a few days

He's here right now.

He's right.

Hello, Francis

Hello!

Hello?

Herbie"s not available in stores.

Here, talk to your brother.

Hey, boys

Hey, how are you?

Hey, I watch lawyer shows.

Hey, Malcolm?

Hey, Malcolm.

Hey, Mom, doesn't Malcolm have to wear

Hey, Reese, I think I just saw that girl you liked

Hi, Dewey.

Hi.

Hold it... Hold it.

Homework?! You're not giving him homework

Honey, can you buy me a box of these cookies?

How could you be so stupid?

How could you let her see me in my underwear?

How?

Huh, who knows why?

Huh?

I already marked it out of inventory.

I am at a crucial point in my rehabilitation

I asked you to do one thing that...

I broke the window with?

I can't believe he cut me off

I can't believe it!

I can't breathe.

I can't spend two days in the woods tied to a chair.

I can't wait to get on the rides

I could have done that myself

I could show you one if you want.

I do get some sick thrill out of trouble.

I do have a very good reason

I don't care anymore! Anything's better than this!

I don't even mind having Krelboynes in the house.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know

I don't want to be a hard case here, but these kids physically attacked me.

I even kind of liked your bad boy side, too.

I got it, I got it!

I got my sons, we're bonding

I got one!

I got to go to work

I got to remember that.

I got to say, as far as gay rodeos go

I guess I get scattered

I guess we move on to plan "B:" lying.

I hate my brothers.

I hate my brothers.

I hate to inform you, brain boy, it's not about you, it's about me.

I have been at work all day.

I have... nothing else

I hope you're not planning

I just want you and I to know how things really are

I just want you to know what you guys are in for.

I just wanted you boys to know what you were in for.

I know how you guys feel.

I know it sounds crazy

I know now that this was not an accident.

I learned my dad is actually capable of doing something cool.

I madeJulie Rulerman hate me.

I mean, look at the way both our mothers abandoned us.

I moved those to the attic.

I need insulin.

I need to talk to you.

I prefer a Saratoga four wide...

I said, stop it!

I swear, when you put tap to it

I think those are ours

I thought it was going to be

I want it! I want it! I want it!

I want to be that woman

I was really adopted, wasn't I?

I will work every graveyard shift right alongside you...

I will.

I wish that were true.

I won't put the stomach pump on the bill

I wouldn't worry about that. Mom's feeling a lot better.

I, myself, fired a few rounds as it slithered away...

I'd just end up humiliating you

I'll be Kevin.

I'll tell you one thing...

I'm calling him Otis

I'm getting a scope for my BB gun.

I'm going down hard.

I'm going to say Reese.

I'm incredibly boring. Do you know who's boring? Me.

I'm not pressuring him. I'm just asking

I'm really not a bad guy.

I'm sick of going to school every day smelling like feet!

I'm sorry

I'm still in here, perv.

I'm the most worthless, putrid loser in the world.

I'm trying to be pleasant

I've got a guest coming over.

I've taken the liberty of canceling your next three classes.

If it gets me out of square dancing, fine.

If it hadn't been for this

If we set fire to the house

In the eye!

In the short time that you have been under my care

In your bottom left drawer

Inventor of the in car urination system.