The Cabin in the Woods (2011) Soundboard Edit

Acquiring target. Let's see what we got.

All right, you guys, get in your rooms

And he's good with his hands.

And then you'll puss out and say that you wanted truth all along.

And they have to choose what happens in the cellar.

Are you even listening to me?

As long as everything goes smoothly upstairs..

Come on. Give me a hand.

Courtesy of you know who.

Curt, are you sure about this?

Curt!

Curt? Unlock the door.

Curt.

Dana, come on.

Dana, don't open that.

Did they tell you that being prepped is not the same as being prepared?

Does this pump work?

Don't worry, you can tell it to Egghead, here..

Electrical said there was a glitch up top.

Fine. There. You're off.

For the blessed peace of your eternal slumber

Forgive us.

Fuck is wrong with you, bro?

Fuck, yeah, baby.

Fuck!

Fucker.

Go! Go! Go!

Guys?

How hard is it to kill nine year olds?

I can only imagine your pain and confusion.

I can't believe it. I did it again!

I dare you all to go upstairs.

I don't make up the rules.

I don't mean never..

I know.

I mean, he's a sociology major.

I mean, I'd put the picture back but you might feel better if we switched rooms?

I wish I could prove my devotion.

I'd just like to see them fall on their asses, for once.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

I'm shutting' right up.

I'm sorry.

I've seen Curt drunk.

If they were creative, they wouldn't be in maintenance.

Is all of this from you?

Is that that complicated? No

It doesn't even mean anything.

It's an elevator

It's gonna be a long weekend if everyone's that puckered up

It's like the harbinger.

It's okay! Curt, you're okay!

It's on lockdown, I'm trying to bypass.

It's post time. Dig deep, people. Betting windows are closing. Okay.

It's the fool! Do not touch the girl.

It's this creepy old fuck, practically wears a sign, You will die.

It's time to give someone else a chance.

Jules.

Just think it would've been cooler with a merman.

Let's get this party started!

Like I said, it wasn't our fault. We didn't get the order.

Maintenance.

More of them?

Must be getting excited downstairs.

No, I hear what you're saying

Oh, God, don't even joke

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's masterful.

Oh, shit.

Oh! That's cold!

Okay, baby. Let's see some boobies.

Okay, who's still out?

Okay?

Okay. System's online.

Or honey toes. He'll also answer to honey toes.

Or you can die for them.

Places everyone.

Pop Tarts?

Pretty bad.

Puppeteers.

Puppeteers.

Really?

She's corrupted

Something which? Something scary!

Statistical fact..

That's not good.

That's our cue to bail.

That's rude. I don't know who's in the room.

The flesh returns.. or has a meeting place.

The fuck!

The virgin.

There! There! God, looks just like my girlfriend!

They made us choose how we die.

This is the black room.

This must be it.

This should've gone differently

Those things are terrifying.

We're going in the grave?

We're number two. We try harder.

Well, it's a weird kind of night

What about Marty?

What is this place?

What the hell was that?

Who did your cousin buy this place from?

Why do we put him there? The system.

Why?

Yeah, a lot later. She did the upper cabinets

Yeah, Dana..

Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah, we rig the game as much as we need to..

Yeah, well, they may be zombified, pain worshipping, backwoods idiots..

Yeah.

Yes, you did. You had zombies.

You seriously believe nothing weird is going on?

You understand what's at stake, here?

You're missing the point.

You've seen horrible things.

Zoology swears we do

3606.