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Home > Short Circuit (1986) Soundboard
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A lot of them.
A wise guy
Access code, 42721.
After what we just told them happened to us.
All right dipshit..
All right, good enough.
And how big and sharp they are.
And she was trying to convince them I wasn't a bad driver...
And then I'm going to bed and in the morning...
And whatever God wants, He keeps.
Are you tired of bill piling up?
Beasley, down! What are you doing?
Because that was then and this is now.
Because that's what they're going to charge us if this think is fried.
Because we're going to find Number Five intact
Bend down!
But I'm really glad you quit Nova.
But it could decide to blow away anything that moves
But when you're dead, you're dead.
Can you please tell us something about the Nova robot?
Careful. Moving nicely.
Come on, tell me Newton
Coming through, please.
Counterfeit. facsimile
Danger! Nova!
Did he try to molest you in any way?
Disassemble, dead!
Disassemble, dead!
Do I look like the kind of a man who can actually hear his...
Do you know how to triangulate your position, Howard?
Doctor... how many kids you got?
Don't be afraid, guys. He's a friend.
Don't we have to find a robot?
Dr. Marner!
Duke, Otis!
Enemy neutralized, ladies and gentlemen.
Excuse me sir.
For crisp, yet moist potatoes..
Girls are not my best suits. Besides, we got a job to do.
Go on!
Go on. Get out of here. Go on!
Good Beasley! Beasley, come here
Good choice
Good golly
Grasshopper disassembled.
Great. I drive, you two work this out
He looked kind of sick to me so I thought...
He made a duplicate of himself from all these spare parts
He was going to call the sheriff on you.
Here's your table sir
Hey, laser lips! Your mama was a snowblower.
Hey, Norman. You better get number 5 off that generator, man.
Holy shit!
How would you like to write the headline on that one?
Howard I think that something incredible is going on.
Howard, if you'd just come over and inspect the unit...
I am alive
I am not knowing.
I am standing here beside myself.
I can sense it, I can sense it
I don't like these Nova guys anymore than you do
I just..
I knew it. God damned garbage cans!
I knew you would try this
I know no one's gonna believe me..
I know you're listening, so pick up the mike
I let you tear my house to shreds and you're a robot!
I saw Number Five crash trough a wall, grab the girl...
I told me.
I want you to go with Number Five and make sure they do not...
I will have to smack the sidewalk
I'm glad you think this is all such a joke, Crosby.
I'm not going to get fired..
I'm not going to let it happen. You're not going to get fired..
I've only counted 4, so tell me I've miscounted.
If you are ready, young lady, you can take me, too
If you wanna play rough, I can sure oblige ya.
If you want to help Number Five, let me have it back
If you're thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking..
In the meantime, it's very important...
It's an old family name.
It's malfunctioning. It might not do anything.
It's probably right down the hall and...
It's so good to see you. I thought they blew you up.
It's still tuned to Number Five's wavelength, right?
Jeez, another one.
Johnny Five. That's cool
Kick ass? Donkey, mule, burro..
Kidnapped, shanghaied, hijacked
Let me tell you something
Let us break wind!
Let's scramble one, maybe it'll listen to what comes with a decoder.
Let's try the emergency override.
Listen, what do you say we jump in my car..
Look out!
Lord Rama, Lord Rama, grant my wish.
Main gate. Captain.
Mix thoroughly
More than a woman to me.
Move out!
Move! Move!
My dad left me a few acres up in Montana.
Newton Crosby, no run, no talk
Newton, you know what is out there in the great outdoors?
No disassemble!
No shit. Where see shit?
No wonder you're malfunctioning
No, I didn't do it. You got me wrong.
No, I don't know anything about it.
No, listen...
No, turn off the TV. It's time for bed.
No, wait! Rethink yourself
No! Damn it!
No. I'm going
Now it's Double Trouble making a move on the outside rail...
Now you're talking like a robot
Now, listen close
Number Five alive!
Number Five is alive.
Number five stupid name.
Number Five, this is Frank.
Oh shit!
Oh, right on the sensor.
Oh! My China!
Oh! We're in deep shit now, man.
Oh. Texaco
OK, here you go.
Ok, here's your oscillating circuit. That's done right
Okay, come on
Okay! What?
One bozo.
One of them comes near you, you blast them!
Or whatever the hell they call them now.
Pancakes surprise.
Pate, salmon moose, Cheese Whiz...
Piece of cake
Quinn's Medical Research? You slime bag!
Ready, aim!
Right. Very good.
Same here.
Schroeder. How you doin'?
See, these are ants.
Shaken, but not stirred.
So the priest says, we'll draw a circle on the ground...
Soak up input
Sorry, Crosby..
Squash, dead.
Stop it!
That is very funny American name, Hazel.
That's a container drinking glass.
That's incredible! This guy's a genius!
That's just the way it is. Dead is forever.
That's the way it's gotta be.
The army! The real army!
The dog is on its last legs.
The right.
Then it could act alive.
There it goes Very good.
Think of it as a full scale field test.
This home. Stephanie home
This is Earth, where we are now.
This will be some good slop
To let me know if Number Five's okay.
To tell them each robot costs 10 million dollars and it kills people?
Twenty five thousand dollars
Very funny.
We gotta fire them now, Howard
We have to disassemble it and check it out.
We just have to find Number Five, get some answers.
We'll concentrate our search there
We'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands...
Weapons. M 16 machine guns
Well he is sitting at the cross they are making him dog sick, sir.
Well then... maybe I can furnish you with some schematic drawings.
Well, clean him up and send him out to hob nob.
Well, I got one
Well, the next time they mess with us, we're gonna kick ass
Well, times have changed
What are you afraid of? What's the matter with you?
What the hell is the matter with you...
Where's the young man that actually designed these things?
Who is knowing how to read the mind of a robot?
Why cannot?
Why don't you and the young lady just get away from the van..
Why don't you get off my property?
Will you grow up. I'll be there, Howard, on one condition
Wood pulp?
Worth? I don' know. A few hundred dollars maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yes you are
Yeah. How many animals are we talking about?
Yes, but only if it is less than twenty feet away.
You are here. Here.
You can't stay here! They'll find you!
You can't take my truck.
You four eyed idiot.
You got it.
You got nobody Frankie
You know where it is.
You know, I might even be able to get you a student discount.
You think I'm doing this for my own self gratification?
You're making the biggest mistake in history!
You're the last guy in the world I'd try to cross, you know that.
Ben? Ben? Sir! Stat!
Fish! Look out!
Gag me with a fork, sir. What?
How're you doing? Running late as usual.
I thought it was a nut. That's an old name.
I'm fit as a fiddle. Okay
It just runs programs
it must be reading it some place
It's time for bed. No.
Light bulb. No. Sun.
Look, it's a grasshopper. Grasshopper, Orthoptarous insect.
No disassemble? No, no.
Right. That's what I'm meaning
Schroeder! I'll take care of this
See that? Input.
Stat? Stat!
Thanks at lot. Sorry.