Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002) Soundboard Edit

Ah! Hmm, not bad

Ahh!

Aiding the Chosen One...

And it's non dairy.

And my prostate weak

And now...

And why have you come to me?

Another paralyzer!

Are aliens.

At that moment,

Betty has gone too far.

But Chosen One, I want to help you, but I...

Chosen One.

Chosen, you're alive.

Chosen!

Chosen. Huh?

Do you know where I can find little, silver, triangular pyramid caps...

Easy, easy!

Enjoy the paralyzer!

Especially that helpless man you just hit

Ever make it. Never make it

Excuse me, kind blacksmith.

First, a joke

Ha ha!

Hah! Hah!

Hah! Huh?

He gave his life for mine

He spends his time at the top of a waterfall, swinging a chain around

He wasn't at the restaurant. Do you know where he is?

He's supposed to be dead. I am responsible.

Hey, guys

Hey, guys, what's goin' on?

Hey, wait, wait.

Hey! Ooh!

Hmm!

Hmm!

Hmm!

Hmm! Hmm!

Hmm? Hmm?

Hmm. In your dreams. Whee oh!

Hmm. Orson.

How 'bout now?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? I... Uh..

Huuh, Chosen One, I am sorry.

I am nice man with happy feelings all of the time!

I am the Chosen One.

I could always pretend I'm a bird

I do like the ladies, you know. I do like 'em.

I go pee pee standing up. Hmm. Mm

I invite you to train with us...

I mean, I'm no doctor, but it was like one clean chunk.

I think it's great, 'cause it's so bad.

I will always...

I will..

I'll never be able to do it, ever!

I'm gonna count to three, and if I hear one more friggin' squeak,

I'm just a birdy too.

I've come to finish something I should've done years ago.

I've come to kick ass

If I felt like it.

It's Betty, you son of a pig

Kill it!

Ling!

Ling!

Ling! Chosen One

Ling! Ohh!

Ling? Hurry!

Little did he know...

Love... you.

Many more times... in the sequel

Master Betty, my compliments.

Mm mm. Well, twice

N Now batting, Mike Piazza!

No, that that is not possible.

Now, for my part of the bargain

Nyah, nyah, nyah!

Oh, man!

Oh, yeah? Try my nuts to your fist style!

Oh, you need to open your mouth.

Ohh!

Okay, maybe a little more than any one of us would.

Okay, so here were my options.

One over here,

Open your mouth!

Or dramatically throw you to the ground and request a towel

Party! Party! Party!

Please

Right into my trap!

So, what you... what you guys doing later, huh?

Sorry, I didn't recognize you without crap in your pants.

Thank you, Evil Council.

That will hurt many people..

The child had become a man.

The Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about iron claws.

The Chosen One!

The director said cut.

The more he fought, the more his powers grew

There are so many things I've yet to understand.

There would be a Chosen One.

They're French.

This is CNN. Wait, Mu Shu.

This works for both of us, huh?

Train, Cho Simba

Uh oh. Trouble

Uuh!

Uuh! I'm falling! You're falling!

Ventriloquists, huh?

Waah! Shirt ripper!

Water... everywhere!

We will all be cursed!

What is your purpose?

Wimp Lo?

Yea yea!

Yes, killing is badong.

Yi yi yi yi yi!

You broke a thermometer in my hands.

You did scream like a wussy.

You don't see that every day

You must reach the next level.

You mustn't. You are not ready.

Be quiet! Master!

Chosen One. Oh, Master.

Hmm! Mmm!