Louie (2010) - Season 1 Edit

A bit of a dentalphobe, are you? Mm hm.

A clump of hair for every year that no one knew his name or cared.

A dick in the ass.

A different dog?

A harp player? A harp player.

A horny teenage boy is thinking, "I want a baby. Oh, yeah.

A lesson learned.

A lot of guys like to watch while another guy pleasures himself.

A reservation, all right?

A sweet old man making you shit yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself.

A wanger ow. I don't know what that is.

A white guy doesn't have a voice in this country anymore.

Aah, aah, aah.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

After the show, I'll hang out for a few minutes, say hi, then you take her out.

Again.

Ah, yes, you're a strong boy.

Ah.

Ah. It's Andi.

Ah. You know, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Ahem. Thank you.

Ahem. Coffee, please. Just coffee.

All by yourself? Oh, yeah.

All I know is that you have to be good to people...

All in the mind, baby.

All right, boy.

All right, here is your boarding pass, and it is gate 32.

All right, honey. Shoes, take them off. No, he doesn't have to.

All right, I think I'm gonna keep trying...

All right, I won't call you that, you Hitler Nazi piece of shit.

All right, Louie.

All right, man. Okay. Come on, man.

All right, um.... Take your shirt off.

All right, well, I don't think I'll be needing any of that shit for the playdate, so....

All right, you know what?

All right! I get it!

All right? God. This is a nightmare.

All right.

All right.

All right. And now I know that it was because...

All right. Okay.

All right. She just crams them in there...

All right. Um...

All right. Well, bye, thanks for everything.

All right. You too. Bye.

And a centurion, a man of peak physical strength...

And Abraham goes, "Why?"

And Abraham is like, "Dude, what is up, what is up?"

And Abraham's like, "You mean Isaac?"

And again, me and my friend were just like, meh.

And all they did was scare the shit out of me.

And as he pushes himself upward to avoid this torment...

And as I'm listening to this, I realize: "Shit, that happened to me too."

And God goes, "Kill your son. Dude, kill your son."

And God would just, once in a while, he'd just bother one of them.

And he had dreadlocks.

And he had dreadlocks.

And he had to get over it with therapy.

And he is shitting like Oh, my God. Just:

And he just went home feeling like a piece of shit.

And he's going:

And he's like.... Ahh. Ahh.

And he's literally 14 inches away from my daughter's little face.

And here I am.

And how's that going?

And I always see her, and she's like, just:

And I am going to tell it to you now.

And I couldn't take it back because he was bigger, he could kick my ass.

And I don't know, if it'll make you happy....

And I don't mean to offend you, but I think you're an asshole.

And I get I mean, my dick is hard as a nail.

And I get to know that that's what's going on in there.

And I talked to him on the phone. He said that I could come by.

And I talked to him on the phone. He said that I could come by.

And I wanna do open mikes.

And I was like That was a little too eloquent...

And I was like That was a little too eloquent...

And I was right out of high school.

And I'm divorced now.

And I'm gonna Let's just see what we got here.

And I'm gonna tell you how to have exactly the body that you want.

And I'm just, I'm just Okay.

And I'm not.... That's not fair.

And I'm pissin' in his mother's face Right out of

And I'm shittin' into Hitler's mouth

And I've never been in a fight. I've never been in a fight.

And it started, basically, when AIDS did.

And it tells me that everything is fine up there.

And it was really nice to meet you, but I....

And it was...

And it's actually really easy to have the body you want.

And it's because I love them. If I didn't love them, it wouldn't matter.

And it's not from depression.

And it's that simple.

And me and my friend This is the crazy part.

And my dad hung himself in front of me whilst masturbating.

And my mind is telling me that you are a great guy.

And not for any moral or societal reason. I don't give a shit.

And not on a political, Bible level either.

And now you're gonna

And now, what, I'm just gonna go home...

And one day, it stops. And I remember the day

And people think nothing bad should ever happen to them.

And probably I'll get a doughnut too. Maybe some doughnuts.

And really enunciate that so we don't miss it.

And school sucks.

And she just shoves them in there, just comp It's just compressed.

And she said some nice things to you.

And she's like, "Dude, you're limiting my enjoyment by a lot."

And she's like, "Really?"

And so getting divorced is like stepping out of a time machine...

And so Pontius Pilate...

And so she came down to visit her cousin, my friend, in the city...

And that's also bad for sex, because I just sweat

And that's gonna kill you as well.

And that's repeated 40 times.

And that's what I'm like when I have sex. I go, uhhh.

And the compressed heart is struggling to pump thick, heavy...

And the scalp, being of great vascularity, bleeds profusely.

And the upsetting part of it wasn't that it happened, but that I had forgotten.

And then God's like, "Why would you ? That's your kid.

And then I decided to go to Phoenix.

And then I gotta get them to school, which means walking

And then I hear him go:

And then I just passed out.

And then I'm there, she's all hot. Louie, she's all hot and then

And then somebody goes into you.

And then you can celebrate with a big parade of soldiers...

And then you come back out, then she demands it...

And these thongs of leather rip the skin of the back...

And they go, "I'm so sorry."

And they were like, "Well, we don't know what 'have' means...

And this is the vagina.

And wait until she is mad with desire, begging you to penetrate.

And we equate this to the Indians...

And we pass this homeless guy, and she sees him.

And we pick her up there, and she's just freaking out at New York.

And we were like, "Hey, can we have everything?"

And we were like, "You guys are Indian givers. Oh, my God.

And we're in there like this...

And we're the FBI.

And when I wake up in the morning, I just I'm I just sit there and I'm like:

And when you're doing it, first you go in just a little bit...

And where you gonna go after that? I'm gonna go to the park.

And who cares what you have to say to get the guy off your back.

And why do you think that is?

And why the hell did she tell you? I call her every day.

And will discuss the damage to the tissues of his body.

And you can only do it twice and then you're out of balls. That's what I thought.

And you guys ask me this shit every time I'm here.

And you smell weird.

And you won't nail them into this brat? This godless boy?

And you've been praying to Jesus every night that I would ask you.

And your face I'd take off, but he wouldn't want it.

And, you know, being violent is just the dumbest thing ever.

And....

Animals that watch us have sex must be like:

Anybody who has the balls to say that out loud is called a Nazi...

Anything less than two, she can't do it.

Anyway, I....

Anyway, I'm a Ahem. I'm a father.

Anyway, so I wiped her ass one day, and she said:

Anyway, so, yeah, wolves are like dogs.

Anyway, thanks a lot, folks. Good night.

Apart from the tumor I can hear in your lungs.

Appreciate it. Sure.

Are you at your mother's house or...?

Are you being serious right now? Yeah, look over there.

Are you being serious?

Are you gonna peel it or anything? No. The skin tastes really good. Here.

Are you making a playdate?

Are you nuts? ****as don't tip. Everyone knows that.

Are you ready for that?

Are you scared right now?

Are you serious?

Are you seriously gonna put your penis in there?

Are your kids over there? No, no. They're with their mom for a week.

Aren't you happy that your mother finally found love?

As always, we are really grateful for those of you who pitch in here...

Ask again. Now.

Ask for anybody who's like a sales manager at the Subaru place.

At home.

At least it was for me. I hated it.

At least you got that dirty jizz rag there seeping germs into your wound.

At one point, one of us is gonna leave the other behind.

Aww. You like that?

Bad...?

Basically, you're saying we're assholes. Yeah.

Be careful what you say about the place from whence you came.

Because every story Abraham, he went to Abraham in the middle of the night.

Because he That guy was pretty serious. No, no, no. Yeah. No, of course.

Because I'm a grown man.

Because I'm a grown man.

Because it causes blood...

Because it smells up my apartment.

Because it's a bullshit sham, that's why.

Because Never would really like one also.

Because now, also, I'm 42, so I'm getting I'm get I'm really on the decline.

Because that urge is the urge to procreate.

Because that's kind of a drag for us."

Because that's the one that people will notice.

Because they show you these diagrams of, like, a penis...

Because they're black? I've been waiting tables for five years.

Because we just wanna, ugh!

Because what it's meant to be is that someone gave you something...

Because you don't care that they're alive. You don't even know that I'm alive.

Because you're a huge bummer. You're, like, a huge, huge bummer.

Because you're a woman and I'm a man and you're I'm strong and mighty.

Because you're very tired.

Because...

Behind a Dunkin' Donuts?

Birmingham.

Black dudes like the white girls, you know?

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood.

Break yourself. Do it. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Aah! Aah!

Break."

Breathe and push it out. Okay.

Brian, I do not have any money.

Bring me a menu with larger type. Mom, I can read it to you.

Bring me in there. You let me give you a session.

Bro, I gotta borrow some Bro? Br ? Oh, you son of a....

Bro, I met this girl.

Bro, what are you telling me here?

Bro.

Bro. Hey, Robbie. What's up?

Broken wing and something's wrong with the safety related part of the plane.

But Because I had always wiped her ass all that time, and it's just a thing you do.

But What, are you selling something?

But a guy, you just walk up to him and your dick's in his ass.

But are you interested to know what it might mean to gay men?

But don't say the dude's name with a shitty attitude.

But he came back. No, he....

But he took him to a Woke the poor kid up, dressed him, took him to a mountain.

But he will have to be punished.

But how does he get his balls into my pussy?

But I did, I did it.

But I don't I don't have a really compelling reason why not.

But I don't know if

But I haven't told you about my wife. I don't give a shit, Mom!

But I just was thinking that maybe

But I knew you were in town and we were sitting here...

But I love them.

But I wanted to go today. That's why I booked.

But I'm bad and I sin.

But I'm here to tell you, you're not gonna die immediately.

But I'm not gonna tell you what they are, because you'll....

But if I'd known it was gonna stress you out this much...

But if you say, "Jesus Christ," you go to hell forever.

But it's a really shitty time machine.

But my chemistry is telling me that you're a loser.

But now Obama's in there, no one can say shit.

But okay, fine."

But only with another guy.

But really, as a comedian and a gay guy. You're the only gay comic I know.

But she's gorgeous, I don't wanna be with anybody else...

But so there he is And this dude was particularly homeless.

But sometimes, I think about hitting him.

But that is why I developed this practice, to help people like you and me.

But that's a sin, to say the Lord's name in vain

But the thing is, I have

But the two holes bump:

But then again, I don't know. I don't know how I'll feel, you know?

But then, finally, they can use a toilet.

But they can't wipe their ass. You have to wipe their ass.

But they thought the homosexuals were too low and disgusting...

But we make it this separate thing. Animals must think we're idiots.

But what ? How ? You teach him to just hit people.

But when you're with your friends, "We got here at 5."

But withdraw again.

But you are a good person.

But you don't even have to say something that terrible

But you ever feel for your real values inside?

But you had nothing to do with it.

But you just gave me a seat on it. Yes, that was before it was canceled.

But you remembered me.

But, I mean, it

But, look, he threatened me and that's illegal.

But, no, it really is very different down here, man.

But, wait, what about that I It hurts when I bite down.

But, you know, by all means, use it, get your laughs.

But, you know, now you know what it means.

But....

But.... What?

Bye bye. Bye. Bye, Daddy.

Bye, girls. You're going? All right, well....

Bye, Mom. See you later.

Bye, Mom. See you later.

Bye, Mommy. Bye, girls.

Bye, Tammy.

Can I ask you, why do you like older guys?

Can I have a glass of water, please? Just a minute.

Can I have the boarding pass, please? Yeah, sure.

Can I say something kind of weird? Sure.

Can I start you guys off with a drink?

Can you just be a neighbor? Be a human being?

Can you pretend I didn't say any of the things I've said so far?

Can you take the Midtown Tunnel? Yeah.

Can you try?

Can't wait for the girls to meet you.

Channel 4 will carry the mayor's news conference live tomo

Channel 4 will carry the mayor's news conference live tomorrow

Channel 4 will carry the news N

Checked out for what?

Chew it up. Oh, do I need water?

Chris is here to talk about some ways we are trying to include...

Christ! That much?

Cocks....

Come hang out with us after you're done.

Come on in. Here you go.

Come on, buddy. Try and

Come on, guys, let's go.

Come on, Lilly. We're late.

Come on, Louie.

Come on, that's not so bad.

Come on, watch me eat a doughnut.

Come on, whip it out.

Come on, whip it out.

Come on, who doesn't love their mother?

Come on.

Come on. Get off me.

Come on. ******* **** .

Come on. All right.

Come on. Come on. Let's go, honey, please. Let's go.

Come on. If I can have a doughnut too.

Come on. It's only peppermint schnapps.

Come over here.

Come up here.

Could you open a window when you're smoking pot in there?

Could you stop? I'm worried. I don't know what's up with me.

Could've been worse. Yeah, totally.

Country's going to shit.

Credit or debit? Credit.

Credit or debit? Oh. Cash.

Daddy, can we please go now?

Daddy, could I have some carrots? Yeah, sweetie.

Daddy, in school we're reading out loud Up. Honey, go up. Up.

Daddy, we're chasing Serge.

Daddy! Da

Daddy! I can't sleep.

Daddy. Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy. Daddy.

Damn it, I have a goddamn reservation.

Damn it. Asshole. What are you doing here, anyway?

Deal. All right.

Did no one tell you tits are meant to be on women, not men?

Did you bang her?

Did you have a good week, Daddy? I did. Thank you for asking.

Did you like it when you used to get high?

Did you?

Do Do you wanna have sex with me?

Do it. Do it.

Do people, like, come here and steal medical treatment?

Do they steal it from you? Is that what happens?

Do what?

Do you ever get...? You ever been curious about, um...?

Do you have wine?

Do you like me, like, as a girl?

Do you like me?

Do you love her? Yeah.

Do you love me, Mom?

Do you love me, Mom? Robbie, don't go there.

Do you now know how the Lord suffered?

Do you think I shouldn't be using that word onstage?

Do you think I'll get on?

Do you think it's because you're fat?

Do you understand what you were just told?

Do you wanna bring the girls over? I just dropped them with their mom.

Do you want me to bring him to soccer or drop him at your house?

Do you want me to bring him to soccer or drop him at your house?

Do you want that?

Do you want to go standby on the 1 :15? Yeah, sure, that'd be great.

Do you want to meet my sister?

Does he have any nut allergies, because he just....

Does....

Doesn't matter.

Don't bite down so hard. Ha ha. Okay.

Don't blame me for that.

Don't do that. Yeah.

Don't get all jaggedy on me.

Don't kick my ass, okay?

Don't say it out loud. Please don't say it out loud.

Don't say that, he's your kid.

Don't step in the diarrhea vomit.

Don't want to. Well, City Jerks is a gathering...

Don't what?

Don't worry, she's dying. Yeah, no hope. Really sad.

Don't worry, the cancer is gonna kill the AIDS...

Don't you have anything to say? Not really.

Don't you understand that? You're greedy, you're just greedy.

Dr. Green, telephone, please.

Dr. Green, telephone, please.

Drive the nail in.

Dude, do you ever exercise?

Dude, seriously.

Dude, take the compliment. You're a great dad.

Dude, this one right here You believe these guys?

Dude, what if I'm gay?

Dude, you're divorced. That's just weird.

Dude.

Dude.

Easy, yeah. Just

Eat my ass, you douche bag.

Eat, eat, eat!

Eh You had nothing to do with that man being hurt.

Eleven forty.

Enter her only slightly, then withdraw.

Even a vagina is awkward.

Even the people that knew him, how did they, how did they ?

Ever hold a piss so long it turns into a shit?

Every day you spend with your kids is torture.

Except Jamie Moyer, I think. He's still playing for the Phillies.

Except you never use any of our ideas or really listen.

Excuse me, excuse me. Yes.

F*** her, man.

Fathers should be offended all the time. They stink.

Feel it, buddy. Feel the burn. Come on.

Feel like shit?

Feeling it? Yeah, I can do that.

Finally found love?

Finally, I have the body that I want...

Fine, I'll do it for that.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. You're just as unhealthy

First of all, I don't believe you. Second of all, that's still racist.

First of all, I'm not that guy. Six o'clock in the morning.

First of all, it is not sex.

First of all, right away, any kind of "I got kids."

First thing...

First, I gotta get them dressed. That's number one.

Flight attendants, prepare for landing.

Flippers. Flip flops.

For now, we are focusing on the lack of physical activity.

For some reason, you shouldn't even have accidents happen to you.

For the last time, hopefully.

Forty five more. Shit.

Four hundred times and I never get it. This time I'm gonna get it tonight.

Fourteen years. Thank you.

Frigging creepy, right?

From before, I just wanted to say I, um....

From the moment you're born...

From whence I came?

Game? What game?

Get back there and bang the hell out of her.

Get his burned face, take that off...

Get in there, man, you earned it.

Get in.

Get that jump rope out and get moving. I mean, this is disgusting.

Get the **** off me. You cut my hand.

Get the **** out of here. Yeah.

Get up here.

Getting divorced is like, uh....

Girls, let's go. Let's go. Now. Please.

Girls, say hi to your grandma.

Give me 10 cents.

Give me a dollar. No.

Give me five bucks. Give me five bucks. I'm not paying you.

Give me that back! Give me that back!

Go ahead and **** it.

Go ahead and swipe your card, I'll give you a refund.

Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Nail him in.

Go back to New York, you Obama loving faggot!

Go back to sleep now.

Go get a Find a woman, an old, kind of your age...

Go get them, Louie! Good job, good job.

Go on. Sit down. Go on.

Go, baby! Yeah, yeah!

God have mercy on all our souls.

God.

Goddamn it. Nice.

Goes like this. God shows up right before he does it...

Goes, wakes up Isaac, takes him to a mountain somewhere.

Gonna make that very comfortable right there.

Good boy.

Good evening, may I have your attention? Yes.

Good evening.

Good luck. Bro.

Good morning. Settling down, please.

Good night.

Good, I understand.

Good.

Good. Go.

Good. Nice.

Good. Try to stand straight. Okay.

Got blindsided by a Model T. I heard he got stepped on by a dinosaur.

Gotta have some respect.

Gotta train for it so it's not so hard.

Grab your shoes.

Grace had a great ass then.

Great big fan.

Great, thank you. Oh, can I just ask you, how's the flight doing?

Great.

Great. Thank you.

Ha ha ha. Oh, my God.

Ha, ha. Liberal fag. Yeah, okay, Himmler.

Ha. What? I don't smoke pot.

Have a great week. See you.

Have you done that before? No.

Have you ever heard...

Have you ever thought about getting an older dog?

Have you ever waited tables before? No.

Have you met Never? That kid is a piece of shit.

He can feel...

He could have just killed him in his sleep, pfft, and go back to sleep.

He did that thing we all do now when we get stuff spilled on us:

He did that thing we all do now when we get stuff spilled on us:

He didn't just smell like piss, he was When you piss, he comes out.

He didn't put your name in the book and didn't tell me.

He didn't put your name in the book and didn't tell me.

He didn't. Louie, he didn't.

He goes, "She's young, cute." He goes, "She doesn't work here."

He had a car accident. He died.

He has definitely suffered from the fatigue syndrome.

He hasn't even been shot yet.

He is tilted up, and as he does, his body sags down...

He loves this.

He probably could have been a good kid. He's obviously smart.

He really shouldn't have done that.

He starts threatening me and saying he could beat me up.

He was one of those high octane homeless, smelly

He'd go, "No, I'd rather go around screaming in agony as a skull...

He's 18 now, you know.

He's been acting so strange the last few days.

He's been sitting here the whole time. No, no, no. That's not

He's coming on her tits. He's a moron, this guy."

He's heading towards your Lilly.

He's in there because of white guilt and affirmative action.

He's like, "Abraham! Abraham! Wake up, man."

He's not even here and I'm still like, "Eh. Yeah, that's close enough."

He's probably dead by now. It's a pretty old limerick.

He's saying that he's beat other people up and he's saying that

He's telling me how to make, like, a 35 year old woman come...

He's trading one pain for another.

He's with a patient.

Heaven. It says it right there.

Heh, heh. Am I bothering you?

Heh. Okay. It'll be fun.

Hello, children.

Hello, girls.

Hello, grandma.

Hello, hello.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hey, babe.

Hello? Hey.

Hello? Hey. I'm here with the girls.

Hello? Who says hello more than once onstage?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Hi.

Her boobs were so hot, did you see that?

Her family was this weird family that kept their kids on a farm.

Her parents finally died, so she got to leave

Her parents were hippies.

Here comes the music.

Here it comes.

Here we go, yep.

Here we go. I feel like I'm leaving my body.

Here we go. We're gonna start out with a jog.

Here you are. Can we go?

Here, have a seat.

Here, take one of these. Okay.

Here, take them. I don't know you.

Here.

Here. Another nail is driven into the arch of each foot.

Here. Have a seat. Sit.

Here. Share these with Serge, okay?

Here's another one, another thing I believe deep down, again...

Hey there, Bear.

Hey, are you a comedian?

Hey, Bear.

Hey, Ben, how you doing?

Hey, buddy, listen.

Hey, can I get one of those? Sure.

Hey, come on.

Hey, come on.

Hey, come over here.

Hey, did you guys have a good week? Yeah.

Hey, girls.

Hey, hey.

Hey, how about that guy?

Hey, listen, little girl...

Hey, listen, um....

Hey, look, I don't I'm getting this weird feeling...

Hey, look, if you need to be with some guy that gets into fights with young jocks....

Hey, Louie, can I ask you a question?

Hey, man Hey, man.

Hey, man, I don't know what to do.

Hey, man, I think maybe I'm too high.

Hey, man, okay, come on.

Hey, man, say some shit about Mobile.

Hey, man. Just don't.

Hey, Rick, is it true there's a club in this city called Jerks...

Hey, screw you.

Hey, seriously, man. You got your kids. You're lucky.

Hey, thanks a lot for that back there. That was pretty scary.

Hey, wait a minute. Hey, I didn't mean to upset you.

Hey, wanna see something really cool? Okay.

Hey, were

Hey, what are you doing this summer? You going anywhere?

Hey, what's up, man? Yeah, yeah. How are you?

Hey, why don't you shut up? Nice one.

Hey, you wanna get some doughnuts? Yeah.

Hey, you wanna go?

Hey, you wanna try the motor bong?

Hey, your son, um Serge.

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. "Hey" what?

Hey. Ahem.

Hey. Daddy!

Hey. Hey, what's up?

Hey. Hey! Guys, could you keep it down, please?

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey, girls, Serge is here.

Hey. Hi, um, I I, uh....

Hey. Hi, you don't know me.

Hey. Hi. How you doing?

Hey. How you been, man?

Hey. Love you, Ma. Robbie.

Hey. Well, come in.

Hey. What ? Where did that dog come from?

Hey. Yeah?

Hi, Bear.

Hi, boys.

Hi, I'm Sean.

Hi, thank you.

Hi, what's up?

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Daddy.

Hi. Good morning. How can I help you?

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hi. Uh

Hi. How do you feel?

Hi. I just wanted to say I thought you were really funny.

Hi. Oh, my God, hi.

Hi. You're that comedian guy?

His cousin immediately just gets She's like, "Oh, my God."

His mother died like two minutes ago. No, dude, seriously, which dog is that?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Holy shit, I hit you right in the white guilt muscle, didn't I?

Holy shit.

Honestly, is that not the ugliest penis you've ever seen in your life?

Honestly, you can take your vagina and shove it up your ass.

How about a hand for the emcee going through chemo, huh? All right.

How about now? I'm not busy. Yeah, no. I gotta

How about that? Yeah, that's all right.

How can ? That is really bad.

How come you get to have ice cream and I don't?

How could he do that, really? Come on.

How did anybody express themselves...

How did she have kids if she doesn't do guys?

How do you dress for a cab ride, Mom?

How is he? Well, it was a pretty serious episode.

How long are they gonna make you wait?

How many times did I told you I loved you?

How much would you give me if I take a shit on those people's doorstep...

How old are you? Twenty six.

How old were you when you had kids?

How we doing today? Hi.

How you doing?

How you doing?

How you doing? I'm okay. Good.

How you doing? You okay? Yeah, no, I'm okay.

How's it going?

How's it going? It's a shitty night.

Huh, Bear?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

I Because if I show up with two naked kids, I'll go to jail.

I I just wanna do my

I I used to watch your show and I've seen all your comedy...

I already did. It was good. Nice

I am hungry, but I don't like fending for myself.

I am not racist. Screw you.

I asked you a question.

I barely got them to school on time.

I bet he'd be happy to cram his balls right in your puss hole.

I bet if you ripped off that puffy coat...

I bet she'd suck your dick just to break the awful pattern of her life.

I bought them from you, for you and now I'm giving them to you.

I came all this way to see you. I wanted to surprise you.

I came all this way to see you. I wanted to surprise you.

I can hear it.

I can hurt you really bad.

I can see that I have not done my job.

I can see that I have not imparted to you the true nature of Christ's suffering.

I can visualize it. I don't need the meat to be actually be on the mirror.

I can't I just can't get organized, you know?

I can't believe you're a doctor.

I can't do it anymore, man. I just Seriously, I can't do it.

I can't take them to the ladies' room. I can't just go, "Go on in there, girls...

I can't think of anything.

I can't understand what you're saying. Well, take that shit out of your mouth.

I can't. You can't ?

I come home from work, I make him macaroni and cheese...

I could have your son brought up on charges.

I could see that.

I couldn't remember. You know why? Because I don't. I don't.

I did it, it's my fault. I didn't mean to.

I did it. I'm sorry.

I did that to him, Mom.

I did that to Jesus.

I did? What was I ? Yeah.

I didn't have the guts. Hm. Well....

I didn't know that.

I didn't know you were coming. I gotta take them, so

I didn't mean to jump ahead of that woman if she was waiting.

I didn't think about it. "Daddy, I need a wipe!"

I didn't think about it. "Daddy, I need a wipe!"

I didn't understand anything that they taught us.

I do have things that a lot of black guys don't have.

I do not play this game.

I don't I don't need it on the plane. I need it for later in the hotel.

I don't I mean, I would never want a guy to fight.

I don't care about Mobile, I don't care about Birmingham.

I don't care and God bless you. But I gotta be honest...

I don't care!

I don't care.

I don't feel negative about this. You're trying to make me feel negative.

I don't have a way to apply that to anything that's helpful.

I don't have any of those.

I don't have five bucks.

I don't have nothing.

I don't jerk off anymore and can lift the toilet seat with the other.

I don't know how I'll feel because maybe you'll ask me nicely...

I don't know if he had gathered it for warmth...

I don't know if they drink coffee up here.

I don't know if you've heard that since you were kids...

I don't know what he told you! Tell him you're sorry!

I don't know what kind of position we're in that she's doing this...

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what you thinking, but it ain't gonna happen.

I don't know what your situation is with your kid's dad, and while I

I don't know what's gotten into him.