Codsworth Jokes - Fallout Soundboard Edit

A blind man walks into a bar.

A man once told me to always leave them wanting more. Unfortunately, he was working at the rationing station.

A Mayan asks his friend if he would like to grab a drink. His friend says, well, I'm supposed to finish the calendar, but I guess if I don't, it's not the end of the world.

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks if she has any.

And a chair.

And a table.

Ariel Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar and the bartender says, hey, we don't serve your type in here.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender turns to him and asks Olive or twist?

Communist, A spy and a Chinese man walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

E flat and G.

E flat leaves, while C&G have a.

Four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning. Does that mean the fifth guy enjoys it?

Get it?

How about a pizza joke? Never mind, it's just too cheesy.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler.

I met an atheist who worked for a charity the other day, she said. It was a non profit organization.

I went to the.

I've decided to sell the vacuum. It's just collecting dust.

Neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink the bartender responds for.

No charge.

No, I in denial.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. You always look at your ex and try to figure out why.

Replies No, I'm traveling light.

Speaking alcohol is a solution.

Tender says we don't serve faster than light particles in here. Tachyon walks into the bar.

That is a band called 1023 Megabytes. They haven't any gigs yet.

The bartender says sorry but we don't serve miners in.

The commies like their house with before they used candles, electricity.

The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

What do you call 2 crows on a branch? Attempted murder?

Why did the weatherman bring a bar of soap to work? He was predicting showers.

2 fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says damn.