One Crazy Summer (1986) Edit

A giant dolphin with rabies.

A little hole in their hull will slow them down just enough.

A mission, sir?

A plan.

A plan. Oh, boy, I've got a plan.

A plane has just crash landed on this point.

A rocket?

A very valuable lesson.

About a little fat boy that nobody loved...

About as believable as Superman.

About the giant dolphin with rabies that terrorizes a small New England town.

Acky, what are you doing?

Acky!

Acky. God.

Actually, he....

Actually, I am afraid of the water.

All I want is my money.

All right, let's go.

All right, then.

All right!

All right! There's the engine buoy!

All seemed well.

All the eggs, they're broken!

Aloha! We're back! How are you?

And all the other kids, they used to make fun of him...

And Cape Cod's own Mr. Congeniality....

And everybody said...

And everybody's happy. Come on, Ted.

And get this ugly mutt...

And good luck to you in our $1 million summer.

And he had a twin brother...

And he never found love.

And he sawed those cute, fuzzy bastards in half...

And he was sucked into the cold, dark sea...

And he's got his vang shoo classes.

And he's with Cookie.

And I have a gig tonight at a club called the Dew Drop Inn.

And I'd beat the shit out of him.

And I'm going to do some clubs.

And I've gotten through! I feel so lucky, so blessed...

And it could happen now, right now!

And now I'm the jerk of the world or something.

And once again he fell victim to the heinous cute and fuzzy bunnies.

And pounded him into something that resembled a wet prune.

And pulled out an Israeli submachine gun...

And so one day, he went off in search of the aloof creature.

And start your engines...

And that crazy old man....

And that stomach.

And they used to say that he talked funny and stuff...

And this is just the vehicle to take you there.

And this time, love didn't pass him by.

And those ears.

And those eyes.

And we bring you produce.

And we were wondering if you guys...

And, Hoops, remember...

And?

Another human being...

Another wasted summer, boys?

Any hour, any minute, any second!

Anything else we can do for you...

Anyway, where's Acky?

Are they watching that monster?

Are you a little nervous? No?

Are you afraid of water?

Are you hungry? I'm hungry.

Are you nervous about something?

Are you ready for me, Hoops?

Are you ready for the regatta, Ted?

Are you sure you don't want a little bit more?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Aren't you going out with Teddy?

At a little reception celebrating the **** of the land...

At the children's park.

Baby.

Back into Nantucket Harbor.

Because he's got some silly reception to go to...

Because you didn't get your basketball scholarship?

Beckerstead Estates.

Best I could do with short notice.

Billy, take this in the back room.

Boats are heavy. I'll get a hernia.

Boscoe!

Boscoe!

Boy, if I ever get out of this...

Boys, tourniquet!

But all the money in the world won't get you that house.

But enough about old George.

But he wanted to.

But I want to do something a little more challenging, a little different.

But it's my house, and that's the money I owe you.

But it's not going to happen yet...

But love will have nothing to do with you!

But Teddy will win it.

But this is a big boat, a lot of safety equipment...

But what happens if he doesn't?

Bye bye. Have a nice summer.

Bye bye. See you later!

Call George at the drive in right away.

Can I ask you something?

Can we help these lovely ladies get their boats in the water?

Careful with that thing!

Cassandra, can you help me a minute?

Cassandra, wait up a minute. Come on!

Cassandra, will you really leave?

Cassandra!

Change the feet.

Check it out. It's that McCann guy.

Check this out.

Cheer up, McCann.

Chili?

Chilidog.

Chong says he left it to his granddaughter.

Clay, if you don't stand on the right side...

Clay, look! A bonfire!

Clay!

Clay!

Clay! Hi.

Clay's a couple minutes older.

Clean, fresh air....

Come back here right now, boy!

Come back here!

Come back here. Help me!

Come here!

Come here.

Come on in, Cookie wookie wookie.

Come on in.

Come on, come on.

Come on, Grammy will show you where we go.

Come on, guys. They're gaining on us!

Come on, have a heart, dude.

Come on, hey!

Come on, Hoops. Quit thinking about yourself all the time.

Come on, ladies! Let's go!

Come on, let's do it. Just get up!

Come on, let's get out of here.

Come on, let's go! Hurry up!

Come on, save it for the race.

Come on, Teddy.

Come on!

Come on! This is gonna be funny.

Come on.

Come on.

Come to me. Help me, boys!

Come to Nantucket with me. We'll have a blast.

Cookie, for God's sake, help me.

Cookie.

Cool. I bet you're really great.

Could do about it, thank you.

Could help us get our boat in the water?

Could you bring me some popcorn?

Could you help me out? I'm stuck.

Dad, damn it. Why don't you listen to me? I can win!

Dad, I got to do my laps.

Dad, I really wish we could discuss this.

Dad, I'll go.

Dad? Shit.

Damn it.

Damn proud.

Damn. That looks like one of those medical experiments...

Darn, no net. Can't play.

Death from above! Airborne!

Desperation move.

Did he hit you?

Did you bring me my popcorn?

Did you ever notice people die in alphabetical order?

Do you know how many people wear them?

Do you know what happens then?

Do you know who this is?

Do you realize for every lost, mangled doll...

Do you understand, Ted?

Do you want to come sailing? There's room for one more.

Doctor, no!

Does this mean I have to give back the bazooka?

Doesn't mean you got no other option in life.

Dog from Mars!

Dog from space!

Doing my laps, Dad.

Don't ever touch my car again, ever!

Don't say that word!

Don't touch anything on this prop truck.

Don't touch my car ever again!

Don't worry about it, man. You can stay at my grandmother's house.

Don't worry about it. They're very reliable.

Dow is the chemical company that makes Mace.

Dr. Balson to ER.

Draw me something?

Drop the sails, fellows.

Egg, cut me some shade, will you?

Egg, don't forget. No matter what...

Egg, I'm about to teach you...

Egg?

Egg.

Egg....

Ever!

Every summer he loses a bit more of his mind.

Every summer he sits there trying to win that radio show.

Everybody's going to show up. It's been the greatest media blitz in Nantucket.

Excuse me for just one....

Excuse me if I'm wrong, sir, but Acky throws up on the ferris wheel...

Excuse me, fellas.

Excuse me, guys. Looking for this?

Excuse me.

Far out! Dead man on the beach!

Field strip it.

First stop's a little place called Woods Hole.

Fix that Australian boat.

Fix that Australian boat.

For a mercy killing.

For God's sake.

For how many times has love knocked on the door...

For the final stretch...

For this gala occasion, I got something...

Forget about it.

Forget it. It's not your fault. It's me.

From all of us to all of you.

From the start of construction...

From this line, you will row....

Gemini!

Gentlemen, I am blowing the hatch!

Gentlemen, prepare to blow the hatch!

George was alive, just barely.

George, get us out of here!

George, her boyfriend is like Cro Magnon teen.

George, take cover.

George, where're your friends, the twins?

George!

George!

George! Stop!

George?

George's grandma is making us supper.

Georgie, what the hell are you doing in here?

Georgina Williams.

Get down! Come here.

Get him!

Get it.

Get me out of here!

Get me out of this!

Get me out!

Get out of the way!

Get the marshmallows!

Girls, if you make faces like that and somebody slaps you on the back...

Go back to your feline world. Get out of here.

Go get those scum, mates!

Go on!

Go out with Cookie, and get her on your side.

Go, George, get out of here!

Go!

Go! Come on!

Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go!

Goddamn it!

Good idea. I've got it. Up. Stork twins, bring that camera.

Good luck to her...

Good luck trying to beat a Merc with a lawnmower engine!

Good luck.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Good work, buddy.

Good, Teddy. Good.

Good.

Goodness knows what they came up here to do.

Grammy. The high school graduates are here.

Great, Ack Ack. There's just one thing missing.

Great, we missed her.

Guys, what about George?

Have a nice swim.

Have a wonderful day.

He called us. We will need the keys.

He can foreclose when he wants.

He can't live without the trophy. We can't live without the house.

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

He reached into his suitcase...

He soon happened upon the cute and fuzzy bunny gang.

He threw me out.

He went over there.

He wins every year. Everybody knows that.

He....

He's been trying to drive Grandpa out of that house since I was a baby.

He's going to a reception.

He's got a houseful of friends he's taking care of.

He's got a tendency to wallow in his artistic miseries.

He's having money problems. I was working in a dive...

He's lost his mind! Get down!

He's on the beach collecting shells.

He's out on a mission for his old man.

Heavy stuff.

Hello, ladies. I am here for your daughters.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello.

Hello. I'm Hoops.

Help me!

Her boyfriend showed up...

Here's your cap and gown. All clean.

Here's your house back.

Hey, Ack...

Hey, Cookie.

Hey, Egg!

Hey, Squidly!

Hey, Stork guys!

Hey, Teddy.

Hi, Cookie.

Hi, Cookie. I'm Egg.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Hoops!

Hi, Hoops. How do you do?

Hi, I'm Ack Ack.

Hi, Ted.

Hi! How're you doing?

Hi. Cookie?

Hi. How you doing?

Hi. I didn't hear you come in.

Hi. I met you at the docks yesterday.

Hi. It's very, it's very....

His grandfather takes away everything he and his father own...

His.

Hold on, buddy. We'll be there in a minute.

Hoops, how about a brew?

Hoops, if you run out of things to draw...

Hoops, what are you doing?

Hoops?

Hoops?

Hoops. Good party, eh?

Hoops...

How about a movie, then?

How can you say that?

How will it find me?

How you doing?

How you doing?

How you doing? Are you hurt?

How you doing? Here you go.

How'd it go?

How's the dollar count? Get any more money?

Hurry up! They're gaining on us!

Hustle! Come on, move it, move it!

I am going to die.

I beg to differ.

I better go.

I can see the land.

I can't accept this. Acky, you be captain. It was your idea.

I can't be captain. I won't even be on the boat.

I can't believe it!

I can't let those people be thrown out on the streets.

I can't wait all night.

I can't wait any longer.

I deserve this. I've been sitting, waiting, day after day...

I don't believe it.

I don't know, Cookie, I was...

I don't know, Teddy.

I don't know, you look pretty uncomfortable.

I don't know.

I don't know. They've been in there awhile.

I don't like boats.

I don't pick up hitchhikers.

I don't think she's interested. You know what I mean?

I don't think this puppy is going to cut the mustard.

I don't think this puppy is going to cut the mustard.

I enjoyed it thoroughly. Clay!

I figure I can sell some of the furniture...

I got a lot to do on the beach.

I got him!

I got him. Beat it!

I got it.

I got to buckle down.

I got to get out of Generic this summer. I'm gonna lose my mind.

I got to go.

I guess basketball is your thing, with a name like Hoops.

I guess he finally got him.

I guess I know what you mean.

I guess you don't get to see the moon rise very often.

I have not yet mastered this contraption.

I heard what you did, Ack Ack. It's all over the island.

I just don't like boats. I hate boats.

I just don't see you having the killer instinct.

I just want to tell you....

I just wish I had more time.

I know that she knows I'm not irresponsible.

I know them. They work for my boyfriend.

I like that one. I like that. I want a....

I might have something to do tonight.

I must save the free world.

I offer you my body and...

I promised to go to her show.

I really am a decent artist. If I could help you, I'd like to make it up to you.

I refuse to do this!

I shouldn't have lied. I'm sorry.

I think I smell gas, too.

I think I will have a cookie.

I think what you really need is a break from your mom.

I understand.

I understand.

I used to come down here with him all the time.

I want to thank everybody for coming.

I want you out of the house by 0800 hours.

I want you to come home.

I want you to die.

I want you to give him CPR.

I washed them.

I will allow Mr. Freen...

I wish I could help.

I wish I could make my father understand.

I wonder if you could help me find love.

I would like to have a word with you.

I would've come anyways.

I'd go,Why are you so fat?

I'd like to thank everyone that made this possible.

I'd rather keep the original bone structure of my face.

I'll be on land. Sorry, fellows.

I'll be there, at the first table.

I'll bet you $100 that even though he's smaller, he's a better athlete.

I'll come up with something.

I'll get it.

I'll get us some treats.

I'll go after I do my laps!

I'll go get some treats.

I'll have to pick one up.

I'll pick you up at 8:00.

I'll try not to take up too much of your time.

I'll try.

I'll win! Just don't say that word!

I'm going to kill you, after I kill this guy.

I'm going to look nice.

I'm going to make you into a stew!

I'm going to see Cassandra.

I'm gonna go get the car.

I'm history.

I'm not going to give up.

I'm not putting a dime in the Beckerstead Estates.

I'm not taking any chances.

I'm proud of you, Son.

I'm really sorry about that.

I'm really sorry.

I'm relieving you because Dad needs you pronto at the gas station.

I'm sorry, Miss...

I'm sorry.

I'm sure that you can beat him up. He's smaller than you.

I'm trying to get a scholarship to art school.

I've been saving it for a special occasion. I think this is it.

I've got her full throttle. She doesn't have any more.

I've got two weeks to submit my scholarship assignment.

If everyone is ready....

If people do actually show up to hear her...

If she don't get the money, you get the house.

If Teddy does anything...

If this is what you do second best, I'd love to see you play basketball.

If we give in, we're giving in to all the cute, fuzzy bunnies in the world.

If you can.

If you don't come home with that trophy, we lose it all.

If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to beating the shit out of these guys.

If you screw it up this year, that decaying old man, your grandfather...

If you screw it up this year, you and I are out....

If you, yes, you, are our fiftieth caller...

In a half hour.

In a minute, Dad.

In an emergency situation...

In honor of our very special guest...

In or out?

In this case...

In this room waiting for your lousy song...

Is anyone there?

Is that what that was about, the big scene back there?

Is to cheat. Remember.

Isn't that a great story?

It could happen at any minute.

It could happen at any time, any day...

It feels good to be back here at the Club Tokyo.

It honestly seems such a crime.

It means the world to them.

It might as well be $1 million.

It was a nice gesture.

It was beautiful!

It'd be nice to have a friend there.

It's certainly been a great summer for you.

It's decided, Hoops. You're the man for the job.

It's great.

It's just a costume! You little jerks!

It's kind of in the family blood. My dad was really great.

It's like my mom saying I'm an irresponsible louse.

It's my money, and you know it!

It's my money!

It's my only chance to get into Rhode Island School of Design.

It's no big deal, McCann. I guess we're even.

It's quite a sight, let me tell you.

It's so ugly. Someone put it to sleep.

It's summer. We're high school graduates now.

It's supposed to be a love story not a Rambo bloodbath.

It's time to reap the rewards of four years of hard, grueling, mind expanding work.

Jesus!

Jimmy?

Just a second. There's a rocket coming in here.

Just because you can't play basketball worth a shit...

Just because you can't play basketball worth a shit...

Just got to pick up my sister.

Just gushing blood and...

Just knowing that dog exists.

Just leave me alone!

Keep it here and listen for this jingle:

Keep it.

Kind of enjoying this fine film.

L hope you're sitting, 'cause you've won $1 million!

L knew I'd find you at the drive in.

L never touched her!

L would like to congratulate the 1986 graduating class...

Leave me.

Let me tell you a story...

Let's do it!

Let's do it!

Let's get out of here.

Let's go to the point and watch the moon rise.

Let's have a look at that engine.

Let's talk about it over a hot chocolate.

Like a car?

Like I'm really gonna!

Like shovel your driveway?

Listen, Cookie, I want to know if you can help me

Listen, Hoops, here's a little something...

Little boy, will you hold this for me?

Little girl, I'm gonna have nightmares...

Ln sports, we've got the Nantucket Regatta coming up...

Look at this.

Look what Grammy bought for you.

Look what I caught!

Look who it is.

Look.

Looks like it's been microwaved or something.

Looks like we can expect some rain, but nothing to worry about.

Lose the nose. Fix that, and...

Love would have nothing to do...

Make a hoop.

Man, we're getting smoked.

Mary Ann?

Maybe she'd like to help Cassandra out.

Maybe she'd like to help Cassandra out.

Maybe we can play water polo. I could get some horses.

Maybe you can come by later.

Maybe you can come by.

Maybe you just haven't had the right kind of experience on a boat.

Maybe you're right.

McCann and his weird friends.

McCann.

Me?

Mess!

Michael!

Michael!

Michael?

Michael?

Michael?

Michael?

Mind you, she could use a little help.

Morty, how am I going to get this done?

Most of those guys will have Evinrudes and Mercuries...

Mr. Beckerstead bought the mortgage from the bank.

Mr. Beckerstead is a lot wealthier than you.

Mr. Chong Freen...

Music money time.

My car.

My dad gets $12 apiece for them. They make great paperweights.

My God!

My god!

My god. A giant dolphin with rabies.

My home is not a den for cowards...

My most beautiful restaurant yet.

My parents brought me back from France.

My pleasure.

My pride and joy.

Nantucket. When can we leave?

Nantucket's big news tonight is Cassandra live at the Dew Drop lnn.

Naturally, our hero was very saddened by this, so...

Never say anything about her dog.

Never!

Nice meeting you, too.

Nice to meet you.

No more pools, no more Ferrari.

No way. Besides, I said I was helping Cassandra.

No, button up!

No, I'm having a great time. Enjoy.

No, not really. Yeah.

No, not those. No!

No, of course not.

No, thank you. I'm stuffed. It was delicious, though.

No, Ty, stay right there, you idiot!

No, we're doing a job.

No!

No! It's definitely mine.

No! Mister, please!

No! No, please!

No! No! Please!

No. But I used to like to beat him up.

No. I know Dow.

No. It sounds like work.

No. Really, I can't.

Nobody lives forever!

Nobody wanted to perform CPR on him...

Nobody's going to show up.

Nothing much, guys.

Nothing proves that more than being surprised...

Nothing, lately. I'm in kind of a rut.

Nothing.

Now, if love is blind, he thought to himself...

Now, remember...

Now, that is a.... I could wear that anywhere.

Now, there are going to be bodies everywhere...

Now, you may proceed.

Now!

Now?

Now....

Of buying them, you big mess!

Of disemboweling...

Of Generic New York High School!

Of the Charter Bank of Nantucket...

Off my property.

Okay, Cassandra...

Okay, Hoops, come on.

Okay, Mom.

Okay, thank you.

Okay? Trust me.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. But don't forget at 9:00...

Okay. No problem.

Okay. There.

Old boy finally caught a break.

Old man Eldridge finally kicked, Ted?

Old Mr. Peckerhead's been trying

On a quest for love.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely guy...

Once upon a time, there was a lonely kind of a guy...

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time...

One Crazy Summer (1986) ,HD MKV H264 AC3[5.1](WB,Eng) 1280x720

One, two, three, four.

Ouch.

Our hero hated boats, but he was desperate on his quest...

Pardon me, cute and fuzzy bunnies, he said.

Perhaps they could help him.

Phil, do the CPR.

Phil, give him CPR!

Please, Mr. Dog, don't.

Please, sir!

Please, Your Enormousness, anything but chili!

Poor guys.

Popcorn.

Quit monkeying with that thing!

Really nice party.

Really smart.

Relax.

Remember? Your new boat?

Right! Let me get it clean, then!

Rita Segal.

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Save her!

Save him!

Save him!

She might make enough to pay back the bank.

She might make some money.

She really likes you!

She wears these braids.

She's doing what?

She's got one week to pay the back mortgage.

She's got room and reasonable rates...

She's not the only girl on the island.

She's really in good shape.

She's singing or something tomorrow night.

Shells. 57 millimeter.

Shirley Strom.

Shit!

Shit! What happened?

Since I was a kid, I don't like boats.

So far so good. I sold some furniture...

So it was a complete nightmare.

So keep listening for this jingle:

So long, sucker.

So powerful!

So we win the race.

So what's gonna happen to the house and all his friends?

So, why aren't you going out with Cookie?

So, you finally told the Führer no?

Solomon Shapiro. Frank Stephens.

Somebody help me!

Sorry.

Squid, it's okay. Boscoe's going to be just fine.

Squid, you and old Boscoe going to visit Grandma this summer?

Squid! Look at that.

Stand still, Teddy.

Start up the engine.

Stay right here.

Stay right there.

Still at it.

Stop that! Go on! Have a nice summer!

Stork twins!

Sure you want to be a Marine, Acky?

Sure, I'm ready. The new sloop's a beauty. I can't lose.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

Takes everything away.

Teddy brought his car in for a tune up.

Teddy says Mr. Congeniality doesn't have a chance.

Teddy, come back here!

Teddy, go faster.

Teddy, honey, can we go pick up your boat?

Teddy, step on it.

Teddy!

Teddy? Don't forget about tonight.

Teddy? Yeah, this is Ty.

Teddy's not even gonna be around tonight.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much for the ride.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. I hope to see you at the show.

Thank you, Teddy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Thank you. What is this for?

Thanks a lot.

Thanks for cheering me up.

Thanks for saving us.

Thanks, guys. That's good.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That Cassandra's house now stands on.

That crazy old man can't hold that race over my head every year.

That final, parental confirmation that you're going somewhere in life.

That he didn't look anything like his twin brother...

That house won't do you or your father any good.

That is some tuna.

That is the girl that just might ruin my restaurant on the bluff.

That never stood in my way before.

That the Beckerstead Estates are only weeks away...

That was a friend of mine.

That went astray.

That will stand between life and death.

That's a hearty appetite.

That's a little more like Acky's speed.

That's an order.

That's it, boys.

That's really nice.

That's right.