Black-ish - Season 3 Edit

A beautiful, coiffed haired tax genius

A black family in the White House,

A different kind of speech that shakes the world.

A non carbonated refreshment thing.

A pretty uneventful election night.

About the speech.

Ain't nobody's pawn.

All I cared about was that he was black.

All right, do I understand what anybody in their right mind

Also, I have to return a DVD.

Also, there's that. Mm.

Also, your entire life runs on the backs

And a woman run and almost win

And a woman run and almost win

And all I'm trying to say is that maybe instead

And as much as I do love

And don't you ever forget that.

And Habitat for Humanity sweatpants,

And he tried to tell me I stole his phone.

And Hillary comes out saying

And hop on a Planned Parenthood phone bank

And I don't want to hate people, but I kind of do.

And I hope that we as a people have it in us to come together

And I know how hard it is to deal with the gut punch

And I'm not saying that they were right.

And I'm scared.

And in the next one,

And make lemonade out of our lemons.

And make them some money?

And my dad's still out of work, my hometown's about to go under,

And say that morning we all woke up

And she is looking forward to seeing her abuela.

And sing in the words of the old n**** spiritual,

And smoked menthols.

And still you don't care enough

And that's a beautiful thing,

And the sons of former slave owners

And the sons of former slave owners

And their self knowledge and healing.

And then you can post it.

And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America

And they didn't! They didn't!

And they tell you that no matter who won this election,

And this Covenant House sweatshirt

And we start trying to have those conversations.

And we're in here fighting against

And when I say they, I do mean the white man,

And when I say they, I do mean the white man,

And when that happens, the losing side always tries

And why aren't you guys dressed for school?

And why don't you take this Trevor Project scarf.

And you especially need to know it with where we are now.

And you look like you might have the gene.

And, Dre, I got to be honest.

Anyone who was black, but what if instead of Obama,

Are gonna change, even though everything around us

Are gonna change, even though everything around us

Are supposed to be on the same team?

Are they gonna prorate your tuition?

As a matter of fact, that's how the country got started.

As long as she knows that a vote for Trump

As much, if not more, than you do,

At least I know he says what's on his mind.

Because as a mom, it is my job to deliver a world

Because I didn't see all of this outrage

Because that's what you're supposed to do.

Besides, you're underage

Between the lines is a special day.

Black Lives Matter button... Barney's.

Black people wake up every day believing that our lives

Blah de blah de blip blip yadda yadda.

Boisterous rally last night,

Both times?

Bow, what's going on, dude? Seriously?

But America is a corporation, okay?

But everyone was acting like it had only been two minutes.

But how can I read this one section

But I didn't want you to change who you are.

But I do feel it's time that we stop calling each other names

But I don't think it... It's possible that all, half,

But I see it as half full.

But I'm pretty sure those kids did not know that at that time.

But I'm woke now.

But it's completely empty.

But look, Hillary's no angel, either.

But not you, son.

But that's like comparing Jay Z to K.D. Lang.

But they also needed to hear

But they don't give us the verse.

But they still voted,

But Trump is just not my kind of guy.

But Trump's a misogynist.

But we still played ball, tried to do our best

But what about all the other families

But what else is going down there?

But what happens when the winners and the losers

But you can't let that turn you into another angry black man.

Can I have, like, a sip?

Can it be better? I hope so.

Can we get back to work?

Cartoonish walls of Stevens & Lido

Come on. We got to move on.

Completely unrelated to the lawsuit we can't talk about.

Coolest president we ever had.

Could have seen in Trump?

Daphne, I don't know.

Day of reflection?

Did y'all see what they put up today?

Did you know that the Earth has lost more

Did you know the yellower the lemon,

Didn't sound like it.

Don't even care that he was a Republican.

Dude is a weirdo.

Even though at times, it doesn't love me back.

Everybody go home.

For most black people, this system has never worked for us.

For my whole life, my parents, my grandparents, me,

Four beautiful children in the world that showed them

Free at last! Free at last!

Fresh start, clean slate.

Gay families, Muslim families, immigrant families?

Go, Hillary!

Got to keep stirring this 60 rotations a minute,

Got to say, Leslie...

Guys, listen up. Listen up.

Guys, the pitch is today, all right?

Guys!

Had become anything but usual.

Had been affected by the real uncertainties

Had to live in neighborhoods that you wouldn't drive through,

Have you heard verse four?

He basically do a reality show inside the White House.

He felt different.

He knew immediately what she meant.

He runs them into the ground.

He walked that back, and maybe you wouldn't have to worry about that

He was... He was a Democrat, Charlie.

He's gonna start arresting women for having abortions.

Healing Rally?

Hell, so is your daddy, especially when he's hungry.

Here's the thing with an upset, though...

Hey, Mom, our values don't disappear

Hey! Keep it down, okay?

Hillary Clinton is the Ben Carson of white women.

Hmm?

Hmm. I'm gonna look that up.

Hold on one damn minute, now!

Hold on. Are you comparing Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton?

How 53% of white women voted for the orange [bleep] grabber?

How about while that's cooking,

How do we work together when the other half is nuts?

How is this our fault?

How she uses lemonade as a symbol for women

How the hell did we let this creep up on us like that?

I am.

I believed he was gonna change stuff.

I can feel it sometimes.

I can't believe this.

I can't, Mom.

I do not recommend Young Guns II.

I don't have to listen to you, Ms. Gomez.

I don't know why you guys don't want to try my stay positive

I don't need comforting?

I even got my Republican parents to vote for him.

I feel like I failed you.

I get a water bottle and a Frisbee.

I have a dream that

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia

I have a dream.

I have a dream.

I have a dream.

I have black friends.

I hear Sean Hannity's already suggesting

I just didn't want it to be her.

I just read that he may not even live at the White House!

I know you will.

I love this country

I love this country,

I mean, half of our country rejected them!

I mean, I know we don't like to think of it that way,

I mean, it's not scarf good, but... do better.

I mean, no offense to Hillary,

I mean, seriously.

I mean, t t the boob jokes,

I mean, there is still time to overturn that.

I mean, we've tricked off the last two months of work on this.

I never want to take that from you.

I see it as half full.

I still can't believe you didn't vote for him.

I think she's got something to say.

I thought I'd feel taller.

I voted for Obama twice.

I voted for Trump.

I wish I could say work was better, but it wasn't.

I'm actually mad at myself for not having started here.

I'm feeling this look on you, too.

I'm gonna give a speech, but it's gonna be

I'm gonna go to the library, see what I can dig up.

I'm just... I'm really upset.

I'm making lemonade. Looking up recipes now.

I'm not feeling this scarf, Junior.

I'm not some crazy right wing nut, you guys.

I'm probably gonna have to get a lawyer

I'm really asking.

I'm really good.

I'm sorry that I have been acting

I'm sorry that you're not and it's blowing your mind,

I'm sorry, but just think about it for a second.

I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me or my family.

I'm telling you, it helps.

I'm used to things not going my way.

I've always said the American white woman

I've always wanted to testify against one of my parents.

I've been such a fool!

I've been there. But you can't let it get you down.

I've really got to focus on this.

If 650,000 e mails didn't disappear...

If I was not clear.

If I wasn't clear.

If there was ever a cue for you to talk, it would be now.

If we don't, we'll end up being in a country

If you all had turned out for Hillary

Ignore him. I am very proud of you, sweetheart.

In his own sweet smiled, misunderstood way,

In the face.

Is a vote for racism.

Is as fickle as a Pinot Noir.

Is from an NPR commercial.

Is not the whole speech, right?

It had been over two months since the election,

It is a nightmare.

It isn't?

It most certainly is not.

It sucks.

It was Clarence Thomas or Herman Cain or Ben Carson?

It was the blacks.

It wouldn't have mattered. Look, come on.

It's 'cause I wanted you to learn the truth,

It's a classic.

It's a lot to think about.

It's a scam!

It's about killing slaves!

It's also a bowl.

It's just a choice you're gonna have to make for yourself.

It's just lemonade that I made with love.

It's like something from Braveheart.

It's like two different speeches.

It's lunch.

It's not Liberal lemonade. It's not Conservative lemonade.

It's the world's biggest and most important corporation.

Jack's confusion with metaphors seemed to echo

Jay Z and Beyoncé as king and queen,

Just because our side lost one election.

Just got off the phone, and we got the Boxable pitch.

Just have to stand still.

Knock this pitch out of the park.

Knowing it's not the complete message?

Knowing what it felt like to be black.

Left hand jumpers or what a K.D. Lang is,

Let's hear her out, guys.

Like Khloé Kardashian changes black dudes.

Like, I don't see this glass as half empty,

Look, all I know is that man would never be my president.

Look, as stupid as those comments were, and they were,

Look, I am a ferocious Republican,

Look, I know you're feeling duped right now.

Look, I'll admit, I don't think Donald Trump is a great guy.

Look, I'm sorry for blowing up like that.

Look, the good news is, we have plenty of time,

Look, there is no way we are getting any work done today.

Look. Okay, seriously.

Lucy, I mean, as the resident white woman,

Lucy, you sound stupid, okay?

Lucy?

Made in a president factory? Mm mmm!

Mahalia had heard Dr. King speak in church a few nights before.

Mannequin challenge. Ha!

Martin had a lot more Malcolm in him than people thought.

Martin knew that. You need to know that.

Me and my friends will be voting.

Mm.

More openly divided than we'd been in a long time.

Much needed, if you ask me.

My first 90 days as student body president have been rough.

My friends are not really soda people.

New Year's resolution.

No one wants to be on the losing side of an upset.

No, he is the devil, and I should know.

No, I mean it as

No, it's from a Barney's sale.

No, no, don't do that. Don't do that.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm... I'mma do this.

No, no, no. We're gonna leave the pitch for tomorrow.

No, you didn't!

No! But maybe that's why we lost.

No. No, no, no.

Nobody knew how we got here, but everybody had their ideas.

Nope.

Nope. Even the usually impenetrable,

Not bad?

Not today, Charles. Not today.

Nothing is what it seems!

November 8th.

Now, come on, we got to get some work done, all right?

Now, look, there was something I didn't tell you

Now, there was a famous singer named Mahalia Jackson

Now, these are the areas that we need to focus on.

Now, you give me a true conservative like Mitt Romney...

Of an absurdly low priced, extremely diligent workforce

Of anxiety and elation, and we seemed to be

Of course I want a female president.

Of letting this destroy us, we take the feeling

Of looking at the world is what makes you special.

Of what our world was going to become.

Oh, a whole lot, son. A whole lot.

Oh, I get it.

Oh, I see.

Oh, I'm definitely gonna have to keep my eye on you.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Stop it! What was she even about?

Oh, my God. What?

Oh, that's fantastic!

Oh. Um...

Okay, I I I hear what you're saying.

Okay! I found the perfect way for you to get involved.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. We had to come out.

On here about that whole Barack Democrat thing.

Or else it'll clot.

Or even most of them were nuts...

Or hated women.

Or racists...

Over 50 million people felt something.

Pinot Noir.

Please, dear God, just say something.

Please, don't say it.

Pumpkin, that is not how I raised you.

Says it's not.

See what I did there?

Send our kids to schools with books so beat up

Seriously, what happens?

She heard the speech... The part about the dream.

She screamed at him, she said,

She was moved.

She was the most qualified candidate

She's basically gonna keep everything the same.

Ship her back.

Showed up and showed out.

Since we were stuffed on boats in chains.

Sitting right there with Dr. King.

So can we please give this man a chance?

So excuse me if I get a little offended

So huge, in fact, that we brought back Lucy,

So I want you all to go home, 'cause tonight should be

So I'm trying to memorize it.

So if you ask me if I love America,

So is it so crazy to think that maybe a businessman,

So then what were they thinking?

So we'll reconvene tomorrow.

So when Martin heard her screaming,

So, for my donation,

So, yeah, we got the day off to prep for the Healing Rally.

Someone wins and someone loses.

Still working on your lemonade, huh?

Sure, they give us the hook,

Sweet mother of God, that man is an evil genius.

T That's just crazy.

Tell me what I'm gonna say.

Tell them about your dream, Martin!

Tell them about your dream!

Than half of its wildlife in the last 40 years?

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Thank God I got alcohol to help me

Thank God.

Thank you.

That are gonna be affected...

That beautiful, bright way you have

That I'm not terrified about what Trump's about to do?

That is awesome.

That pant suited white woman could've been

That they do not want you to hear.

That we are all feeling right now.

That's a battle cry.

That's a pair of Jordan 3s and a hoodie.

That's an outstanding idea.

That's even more divided for a long time.

That's exactly what he's doing.

That's held us up for so long and work with each other

That's what I am.

That's what I want my contribution to be... love.

That's why I made this lemonade for the Healing Rally.

That's why who we really need to blame is white...

The answer is yes, warts and all.

The answer is yes, warts and all.

The constitution, the JFK assassination,

The cool legendary rush of a menthol,

The country gives you lemons, and you make lemonade, right?

The day you realize that there are things going on

The first female president, so can someone explain

The greatness of America again, aren't we?

The idea of business as usual

The Miss Universe comments, the [bleep] grabbing?

The more tart the taste?

The people needed to hear that we should be fighting.

The point is, we have got to

The presidency of the United States.

The same polarizing emotions I saw everywhere I turned.

The sons of former slaves

The Star Spangled Banner.

The way that I've been acting.

The way that you turned out for Barack...

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue

The world had become a giant mixed vortex

There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America

There's a whole lot of that speech

There's all this yappity yap about female empowerment,

There's no way we're getting any work done today,

These UNICEF flip flops are from a Barney's sale?

They asked me to read MLK's I Have a Dream speech at it,

They did not.

They didn't expect the hood to get better.

They gave us a day of reflection.

They would never work out in our favor.

They're about to ship you back to your country.

They're as American as apple pie... and obesity.

This country at its core is just a company.

This day is a wash. We'll start fresh tomorrow.

This election is driving me crazy, too,

This is crazy.

This is huge.

This is not what I meant.

This is ridiculous!

This was my life now.

Those scrappy kids from the East Coast beat an empire.

To be fair, Ms. Gomez is from Spain, her visa is expiring,

To elect the first female president?

To ever run for president.

To help me take both of you.

To know exactly what you were talking about,

To live by the rules even though we knew

To look for where things went wrong.

To make sure that whatever happens next in this country,

To shake the foundations of our nation

To shake the foundations of our nation

Trump

Trump

Trump

Trump

Trump and his supporters, along...

Trump is looking to deport.

Truth be told, you ask most black people,

Truth is, you got to rep your people.

Uh huh.

Uh, speaking of Slate...

Uh, that was just exercise. You were pudgy.

Unh unh. She ain't worth it.

Until the bright day of justice emerges.

Until the bright day of justice emerges.

Until the n**** is granted his citizenship rights.

Until the n**** is granted his citizenship rights.

Untreated rectovaginal fistulas.

Upsets...

Valley Glen Prep is a pressure cooker about to blow.

Wait, no, no, no. Hold on. W What's so funny, Dre?

We did what we had to do.

We do together.

We don't have school today.

We hate each other.

We have to stop that, too.

We talking about the first black president ever.

We're gonna make history tonight.

We're gonna pick up right where you left off.

We're officially calling it a win for Donald Trump.

We're talking about e mails. Not policy, e mails.

We've got till 5:00 to get this Boxable pitch ready.

Wear it around your throat while you're practicing, huh?

Well, first, white women aren't sisters.

Well, go ahead. Have a sip.

Well, guess what. He won, okay?

What about the electoral college?

What are you doing for the Healing Rally, Zoey?

What are you talking about?

What did you say to me?

What was she even about?

What we should be fighting for... the dream.

What? Everything you're wearing

What? I was allowed to hit the help.

What?! That is a donkey punch to the back of the head.

What's going on around us?

What's going on here, boy?

When black folks had the chance to put up one of ours,

When Dr. King was giving the speech, he was fired up.

When everything was happening to all of my people

When I asked you to read MLK's speech,

Where the values that I raised you to believe in mattered.

Who knows what Hillary's actually thinking?

Who runs big corporations, might not be such a bad idea?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sit down, now.

Whoa. That's a lot.

Why didn't your sisters turn out for Hillary?

Why do you not care about what's happening to our country?

Why don't they teach us this part?

Why is she just staring at me?

Will you please get back in your seat?

With Dikembe Mutombo.

With these difficult decisions.

With upsets.

Women!

Work jobs that you wouldn't even consider in your nightmares.

Yeah, exactly. Well, in my mind,

Yeah, I I know.

Yeah, that's good, too.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, well, maybe we can get past all that racial B.S.

Yeah, when did we get that pitch?

Yeah, you haven't had nothing to say about any of this all day.

Yeah, you won't hear them singing that at the Super Bowl.

Yep, America has a love affair

Yep. At the end of the day,

You and I just take 15 minutes

You can find me up in the club,

You couldn't read them,

You don't think I care about this country?

You don't want me to have a voice,

You guys don't know me at all, okay?

You guys felt the day after the election...

You guys just said that you would've voted for

You have to have a voice.

You just can't give us that capital B, huh?

You know I don't.

You know this I have a dream stuff

You know what else will clot?

You know, to raise awareness on whatever you want?

You literally don't have to do anything.

You see what I'm saying?

You think I'm not sad that Hillary didn't win?

You want me to have your voice.

You were right.

You... You're on your own.

You're doing it more as a symbolic thing, like Beyoncé.

You're talking about the man who had a left hand jumper

Your mother's unraveling.

Zoey, what's wrong with you?

A day of what? Reflection.

Agreed. Agreed.

Ah. Man, totally ruined Tic Tacs for me.

And there is it. Oh!

Broke his nose! What?!

Chance to what? At least give him a chance.

Come on, guys. Hey! Whoa.

Dre. Bow, that school is not cheap.

Exactly. That idiot goes bankrupt

Fine. Fine.

Guys! That's crazy.

He did! But it's eight years later,

How is he getting Mexico... I want you to explain that.

I know. Four kids times two days.

I said pitch. Did you?

I stole your computer. Joseph Peterson,

I'm not doing that, Mom. Why not?

It's racist to say that. They're real. They're real.

Joey. Joey. No, I didn't steal your phone.

Lunch! I do!

Mm hmm. Dre's right.

Mm hmm. I don't know about

Mm hmm. I'm a racist?

O Okay, okay. Mm hmm.

Oh, God, no. Definitely not that fool.

Oh, hell. Guys!

Oh! Oh, my God. She said it.

Oh. What?!

Oh. What?!

Oh. Yeah, both times.

Okay. And second, if you must know...

Outrageous. Is Ben Carson even black?

Really? Yeah.

That's a lot. Thank God for zoos.

That's right. Come on now.

There it is. He could've punched a baby

To do what? Hell no!

Uh... Sorry?

What? He might love it.

What? Hmm?

What? Trump is in a Twitter beef

Whoa. Hold on. 5:00 today? Yeah.

Why? Why?

will be able to... I've been lucky enough to raise

with an idea for this pitch. Well...

Wow. Maybe you should come up

Yeah. I still don't see anything

Yeah. Look, it's a new year,

Yeah. This is fantastic.

Yeah. You think I don't see

Yep, pretty much. I'm a racist?

Yep, very true. Oh, I'm racist?

Yes. Yes.

'Cause honestly, I feel hated.

'Cause it's their job to pacify you,

'Cause we all know whose fault this really is.

'Cause we're women, sweetie, and people hate us.

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