P-Valley (2020) - Season 1 Edit

A G for me and a G for you.

A G, huh?

A ****a roll up in here with a check, y'all won't take it?

About to switch it up real quick.

Actually, you got one?

Actually...

After seven years, huh?

Against the club from here on out, Clifford.

Ain't got enough tremolo, ask me.

Ain't like my G string a motherfucking collection plate.

Ain't no mark in this ish.

Ain't said a word.

Ain't that fine establishment of yours in need of some toilet paper?

All right, 15 minutes.

All right, 15 minutes.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, Autumn Night!

All right, bitches.

All right, bitches.

All right, good.

All right, it be 30, little mama.

All right, now, come on

All right, people, back on the bus.

Always flodging like you gonna come up off them duckets,

Amen

And $147 for the lap dances.

And 60 for them snaggletooth ass bottle girls of yourn.

And a G for you.

And after that, you exit stage left.

And at the end of the night, your ass ain't nowhere to be seen.

And bitches who are here with they ****as, don't be J.

And gonna take it right back for a refund before the week out.

And he ain't never bother me no nevermore.

And here I thought stripping was a recession proof industry.

And I don't care if I have to die as a sacrifice

And last but not least,

And some tequila for you, too, baby.

And these lyrics, though?

And this ****a gonna say, "Can I get some change?"

And we know when the pages go up

And what was you saying?

And where they do that at?

And who better to learn from than a OG like me?

And y'all bitches better like it.

And you best not say no Alizé,

Andre Watkins.

Andre.

Another scar on my pretty ass legs.

Any questions?

Apologies.

Are you all right?

As fertile as the Nile.

As you know, I have mine own.

Autumn Night!

Autumn Night.

Autumn.

Autumn...

Back of the line.

Besides, 25 retirement age for a stripper nowadays, so...

Besides, I got a ****a willing to pay two stacks,

Besides, what you got to be complaining about?

Besides, you need to learn how to handle VIP.

Better get these home before they get cold.

Better give Him praise

Better off letting him see some of these bitches' pussy than some bank, man.

Better put some Neosporin on that bitch.

Bitch constantly be on CP time.

Bitch, how that pole burn, though?

Bitch, that's a Peruvian bundle.

Bitch, this ain't mine.

Bitch, this ain't no damn Walmart.

Bitch, this trap reggae soul.

Bitch, what you think?

Bitch, what your name is?

Bitch, you crying?

Bitch, you gonna owe me more than a blunt.

Bitch.

Blow up in your face every time.

Booty Battle rules.

Boy.

But at night, the spots round here, they start poppin'.

But best believe,

But come end of the month, no more Mercedes Sundays for me.

But for you, 10.

But He'd be even more grateful for your repentance.

But I think a ton of this darn blend gonna cover up all this ugly...

But I'ma pay what I owe y'all,

But it was a pleasure meeting you, Autumn.

But that gentleman just paid 20.

But there sure is a opening.

But this is a waste of time and your talent.

But why now?

But y'all better get ready,

But you can't get no blessings

But you give us all your coochie coupons.

But you work hard, buy you some bigger ones.

Bye, girl.

Can I borrow your hairpiece?

Can only imagine what you got to shake off working up in there.

Can't believe I even let you hide your booty money in the church building fund.

Can't believe you got these girls practicing on a Sunday afternoon, too.

Can't trust a man without a vice.

Cash or money order on this equity loan

Child, smell like somebody that died up in here.

Chitlins, and corn bread fed booty!

Church should have been getting double the tithes and offering,

Circa "The Wire" 2005.

Client just couldn't believe.

Clifford, ain't nobody got time to be writing no summonses.

Come and steal your trophy?

Come back soon, now!

Come get this baby.

Come on and give Him praise, yeah

Come on and magnify the Lord with me

Come on over here.

Come on, now!

Come on, now.

Come on, shorty. Stop acting all uptight.

Come on, somebody

Come on, somebody

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Cool down

Count our money.

Crooked letter, crooked letter I,

Customer put his fucking beer on the stage,

Damn, bitch. You's a OG for real.

Damn, ****a, watch where you putting them boats.

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

Dazzle them, something you wish you could do.

Diamond, please.

Diamond!

Did anybody ask your opinion?

DJ Neva Scared gonna give each bitch two minutes to turn up,

Do it again, but before that, give me 50 toe touches.

Do it, do it.

Do you want to trade?

Doing little murders as opposed to big murders?

Don't got one.

Don't make me fall the fuck out.

Don't spend it all at the nail shop, now.

Don't tell me it's corn bread when I smell them biscuits burning.

Don't touch them unless they touch you.

Don't worry. I got it, Uncle.

Drink some of this champagne with me.

Even though living ain't 'posed to feel that bad.

Everybody here?

Everybody ready?

Faggot ass ****a, you got a hobby arranging flowers or some shit?

Faggot ass ****a!

Fall back, kinfolk.

Finna take my man over to the Mercedes room.

First day back off maternity leave and I get another fucking scar.

First time one of my sets been roofied.

First up, we got Blue Cinnamon.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Floss can't cover that one.

Folks was willing to give up their rent and car note for you.

For a meeting with a client.

For He is good and His mercy is good forever

For her and for me,

For Miss M I crooked letter, crooked letter I,

For the most luxurious booty round these parts.

For this daughter of mine.

For y'all hos starting tonight.

For your trouble.

Four, five, six, seven, eight.

Four.

Fuck it up, fuck it up, Mercedes

Fuck it up, fuck it up, Mercedes

Fuck it up, fuck it up, Mercedes

Fuck it up, fuck it up, Mercedes.

Fuck it up, fuck it up, Mercedes.

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Get it, Alizé.

Get your hands off me, boy!

Getting creamy up in this bitch right here!

Gidget?

Girl, hey!

Girl, that's double what ****as throwing down nowadays in the champagne room.

Give it up for these bitches, too.

Go ahead.

Go make them asses pretty, now.

Go on back there. Get dressed.

God don't mind,

God is always grateful for an offering.

God loves a cheerful giver

Goddamn, man!

Goddamn, ****a, your fingers strong.

Gonna have to post up somewhere else.

Good. Liquor and pussy are like a stick of dynamite.

Got a nice jiggle to it.

Got to always have them FBI eyes.

Guess I'm gonna have to swing my stacks thataway, then.

Hair can cover this one.

Halfway right but mostly sweet, though.

Hallelujah, come down to the offering plate

Hallelujah, come on

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hands where I can see 'em.

Hands where I can see 'em.

He ain't popped his tags yet.

He said it was more than that.

He say he love me.

Heifer, ain't nobody crying over your baby neck smelling ass.

Hell, I used to have a ****a used to beat my ass.

Hell, if bitches ain't skip out on tip out at the end of the night,

Hell, The Pynk ain't hitting on shit nowadays no way

Her mom all right with it.

Here.

Hey

Hey

Hey, bitch! Bitch, what the hell?

Hey, fuck with your boy for a minute.

Hey, girl, hey! Want to come partake in my little party?

Hey, hey, hey, get up off my ****a, man!

Hey, hey, I didn't

Hey, I know that kind of love.

Hey, I know you hear me talking to you, girl.

Hey, little mama

Hey, little mama, where you going?

Hey, man.

Hey, now, that's a good metaphor.

Hey, queen! Hey!

Hey, rookie!

Hey, that Yvonne Saint Lorraine you rocking?

Hey, this is Little Murder, ****a. You ain't know?

Hey, what'd I say?

Hey, you all right?

Hey, you need a ride, little mama?

Hey! Don't make me have to wrap a ****a balls round his neck.

Hey! Don't make me have to wrap a ****a balls round his neck.

High yellow bitches, midnight blue bitches,

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Home? Where's home?

Honey, I'm trying to get you blent for the gods,

Hosses ain't even started yet.

Hottest rapper out in these streets right about now.

How come I don't?

How in the world did you know

How many you got by him?

How the hell you in the hole on Mercedes Sundays?

How you getting home, Miss Autumn Night?

Humpback, humpback I!

I abides by all the county rules.

I ain't got nothing but a two seater, and we done giving lap dances for tonight.

I ain't said nothing.

I ain't think so.

I ain't think so.

I ain't worth the dance.

I asked y'all a question.

I buys them all, baby.

I couldn't breathe

I didn't know you made that kind of money.

I do a monkey drop, he end up busting me in my fucking head.

I do real estate.

I do. I'm just wondering why all these Mexican ****as here.

I don't care if man look like Idris Elba in his prime,

I don't know nobody who ain't VIP.

I don't know what y'all gonna do without this Mississippi bread,

I don't know why y'all heifers just let these ****as

I don't know why you suddenly start taking on more bitches.

I don't know.

I done paid my damn money!

I fell.

I found me the man I need to complain to.

I got a Louis duffel full of coochie coupons, you heard?

I got Indian in my family.

I hit him first.

I just got a little shook.

I know brown Fubu T shirt over there readier than a motherfucker, man.

I know y'all can hear me out there

I know you been saying it for I don't how long.

I like your assonance, too.

I like your consonance.

I mean, do I need to fill out a job application or something?

I mean, how y'all just gonna let the Southaven Sizzles

I mean, how?

I mean, I see how you manage your abundance.

I mean, is you rappin' in cursive or what?

I need y'all to say this with me now.

I postdated.

I pull in for your boy over there,

I said are you ready?

I said look my way!

I said what's your name?

I see why they call you Little Murder.

I thought you liked a little easy money.

I thought you was DJ Neva Scared.

I told you to keep your hands off our girls, now

I want my cover charge back!

I want to know what kind of liquor and pussy you sipping on do all that

I wanted to apologize to little shorty.

I wanted to apologize to little shorty.

I wanted to stay a minute before I head on home.

I will do everything in my power to save her.

I won't take $35 out your check

I...

I'll be back.

I'll be sure to tell management about your request.

I'll give you a blunt.

I'm a old soul.

I'm all right.

I'm liable to fly right off the pole into the crowd.

I'm sorry I was so abrasive just then.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.

If y'all didn't make them weak ass drinks.

If y'all don't learn nothing else from me, y'all learn this.

If you ain't laying down no ones that'll keep that electric on,

In fact, I got something that'll murder you.

In this life, you always got to go full out.

Is that right?

Is this one empty?

Is we spending four stacks on a lap dance tonight,

It feel good 'cause it make you feel something.

It light up in the dark.

It time for The Pynk Booty Battle.

It's a Saturday night.

It's all copacetic in the cut, Diamond.

It's all right.

It's getting creamy!

It's just that during the day, this place goes ghost.

It's my rap name.

It's opening time at The Pynk.

It's time to go.

Jesse, you best calm down before I tell your wife where you was tonight.

Just fuck with your money like this.

Just needed some air. Gets stuffy in there.

Kept the carnations from wilting.

Keyshawn, I was finna tell you.

Learn how to handle herself if she want to work for me.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Let me think on that, then.

Let you know you're living,

Let's go up in this bitch!

Let's go up in this bitch!

Let's go, baby.

Like I was saying, some things gonna have to change around here,

Like this neck of yours.

Like you said,

Lil Schmurda must have broke you off something real nice

Lil Schmurda, he gave you that.

Lit up in this motherfucker

Little Murder in the building!

Little Murder, huh?

Little Murder.

Look at that, 'Cedes.

Look my way!

Look, just hold on to this till next week.

Look, you gonna have to calm down drunk as fuck over there.

Lord, get your money up in here

Maite, can you get this bitch beat for tonight?

Make sure we living right in this warehouse of sin?

Many folks you killed over there,

Más dineros, negritos.

Maybe even some tetanus, too.

Maybe Uncle Clifford wouldn't have to make y'all pay before.

Me and my girl pocketbook getting fucked up over here.

Meaning he got a cute suit from Dillard's

Mercedes, finish dancing my turn for me?

Mercedes, finish that girl turn.

Mercedes, she gonna do what she gonna do.

Mercedes, why is you over there yapping

Mercedes, you be the main one.

Mercedes!

Mercedes!

Mercedes.

Mercedes' Last Dance?

Mercedes' Last Dance.

Miss Mississippi, bring your black ass back out on this stage right now.

Mississippi, you on deck.

Molly, hot wings, Tums after the hot wings.

My arms is tired.

My bad, ****a. I'm looking for that bitch

My bad.

My booty needs some negative space to be synched up in this bitch.

My name Blue Cinnamon.

Next.

Nice ass.

Nice teeth.

Nice, nice.

Nice!

****a, just count.

****a, what you know about some save the princess?

****a, you doing the most right now.

****as ain't gonna know what to do when they see

Night, Sheriff Bailey.

Night, Uncle Clifford.

No, bitch.

No, dog. My booty can't bump to this.

No, he just got a bad case of blue balls.

No, I got one right there.

No, my lap big enough to accompany all that there.

No, no, I'ma head on back.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no! No, no, no, no!

No, no.

No, player, that's like Beyoncé cousin with that blue dress on.

No, thank you.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I already owe you.

Nobody.

Nothing else.

Nothing else.

Now that include tip out, too.

Now, big boss over there

Now, give bitch your name,

Now, here every ****a favorite night of the week at The Pynk!

Now, how the fuck you gonna make moi of all people babysit?

Now, I need you to break her in, teach her how to work the flo'.

Now, say what you said.

Now, where the rest of your tip out at?

Now, y'all done sent me all these notices saying I'm behind.

Now, y'all know if it wasn't for Mercedes Sundays,

Now, you go on and be a good booty buddy, now

Now, you know this new mayor and his no tequila and titties ordinance.

Now, you remember, we got that $3 dozen special on them Parmesan wings.

Oh, Lord!

Oh, man.

Oh, Mercedes, this ain't gonna get you through the gates of heaven.

Oh, well, you know, it's always a lying ****a.

Okay, you good.

Okay.

On the floral brick, ****a.

One.

Or a lying bitch.

Or you got something else in mind?

Ordered some fucking Midori sours.

Ordered that top tier five star.

Out east.

Passport, please.

Please, let go of me!

Plus, look at how he hold hisself.

Promised Land Equities.

Put her sins on me, Lord, 'cause I can carry 'em.

Redbone, you think you better than us, huh?

Redbone. Redbone, look my way.

Rewind!

Right here!

Right here. This is your strength.

Right now.

Right off exit 29 in the Dirty Delta,

Save her, Lord! Save her! Save her, Lord!

Save her, oh, dear Lord! Save her! Save this ho!

Save her! Save this...

See there, see? What I say I was gonna do?

See, these folks say this ain't discriminating.

See?

Seem like The Pynk got everything but the one thing I really need.

Seem like you got your lap full right about now.

Shake that, pop that, jiggle that fat ass!

She a hood celebrity, y'all.

She ain't do nothing but lay up there looking light.

She done pulled that Holy Roller bullshit again.

She might have beat you on the lap dance tip.

Sheriff Bailey, you know me.

Shit got kind of hectic up in VIP.

Shit!

Shit.

Skrawberry.

Slay, queen, slay!

Slipped again.

Slow your roll, high yellow. I ain't gone yet.

So I got a customer want you and me in VIP.

So it's, like, five stacks, then.

So let me break you off some of these honey golds...

So y'all could apply for that loan.

So you just be...

So you the manager round here.

So you think I'm a waste?

Somebody left two stacks for your little champagne room experience.

Somebody, hey

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry. Slipped.

Sounding all poetic and shit,

Sounding all poetic and shit.

Stupid me, I didn't take all the pictures I needed to earlier

Sucker.

Sunday morning just a minute away.

Tell me something I don't know.

Tell you what.

Thank you, Jesus.

That duffel could hold eight stacks, but you ain't got nothing but five.

That girl done got too big to be wearing shorts that short.

That guy with the vintage "Space Jams"?

That how you give compliments round these here parts?

That I do.

That was Uncle Clifford request.

That what he doing.

That your government name?

That's $100 for you, Yoli,

That's a G for you.

That's before your time.

That's just the politicking of The Pynk.

That's not what Uncle Clifford said

That's one way to VIP.

That's only for private, private parties.

That's the Paradise Room.

That's till I poured a pot of hot grits all over his ding a ling.

That's why he wobbling.

That's why they call me Little Murder.

The blessings come down

The cash all I got to give tonight.

The finest shake joint in all of Pussy Valley,

The new stripper math:

The other one over with my mama now.

The Pynk got everything that a man need

The redbone with the white tank on.

The smoke?

The way you getting down up in twerk town,

Them titties look like two little bee stings,

Then don't be getting all saditty on a ****a.

There's something I'ma need to put on you in private.

They ain't mine.

They call me Autumn Night.

They gonna get you with them pretty ass legs.

They got you out here taking pictures after midnight.

They use these in the sprayers down at the funeral home.

Think he can tell me what to do with my money.

Thirsty ass big forces there, big head ****a!

This all my fault.

This champagne room busy, you know what I'm saying?

This is your money.

This ish y'all doing right here ain't gonna get y'all no crown.

This little ****a trying to make me blush.

This little ****a trying to make me blush.

This one

This room on some Super Mario save the princess type shit.

This slaw, what it is.

Three.

Throw some ones up in the air

Throw them Benjies up in the air

To give you your motherfucking money.

To have you slip that shit in on a bitch.

To the back of the line, young un.

Took you long enough.

True that.

Two.

Two.

Uncle Clifford rules.

Uncle Clifford, you best not be serving no liquor.

VIP?

Wait a minute. Are you taking pictures of me?

Wait.

Want a drink?

Watch.

We ain't never gonna be able to keep the fridge on ice

We all need to give in to something.

We finna go.

We gonna be there soon.

We got a winner!

We got a winner!

We got a winner!

We got some very important penises out there.

We got white bitches, redbone bitches,

Welcome to Mercedes Sunday!

Welcome to Saturday night at The Pynk,

Well, good night, Hailey.

Well, I heard hell hella lit, though.

Well, I lays motherfuckers out

Well, if I'm gonna twerk it,

Well, if you want more,

Well, it's better his than yours.

Well, my 401(k) in need of spending.

Well, now, Jesse looked a bit drunk.

Well, she gonna have to get used to it,

Well, that's what yellow bitches do.

Well, the offer's out, if you...

Well, tonight was a good night

Well, we'd all leave with more scrilla in our pockets

Well, you ain't seen poppin'...

Well, you got your pulpit, and I got mine.

Well...

Well...

What all G do.

What the hell?

What Uncle Clifford got in her stable.

What you gonna do when you leave?

What you mean?

What you think?

What your name is, partner?

What, you don't believe me?

What, you want to come take a look for yourself?

What?

What's a girl have to do to work here?

What's your vice, then?

When you the one leaving us at the end of the month?

Where Keyshawn at?

Where these asses at?

Where your floss at?

Which bitch? Which one?

Which one you pick?

While you're still sitting down

Who gonna take over your Sunday night set?

Who needs your money when a bitch got some artistic integrity?

Who that guy getting it right there, though?

Who that?

Who told you that,

Why God made me talented and lazy, I don't know.

Why you didn't tell me you was coming tonight, Ma?

Why your nose so turnt?

Why? You want one?

Winner wins 50 duckets and a hot plate.

With all the money I seen these heathens waste on you tonight.

With all this,

With everything I done done, I deserve this.

With Mercedes on her way out the door.

With them floral arrangement bricks up in there, it's hard to tell.

With your bald head.

Wo man.

Woddy, what the fuck you wasting my tea on, man?

Wouldn't be me.

Wouldn't be me.

Write that shit down.

Y'all all best come on down to The Pynk.

Y'all bitches stinking hop off this Booty Battle crown,

Y'all could have used a cuter picture than that.

Y'all hos wouldn't be ringing in nothing but $20 each on a holy night.

Y'all let her know I'm instituting some new rules

Y'all need to give it up for these bitches, man,

Y'all take good care of my sis, now.

Y'all wasn't ready for all that.

Y'all, it is money out there

Yeah, boy.

Yeah, come on

Yeah, that's 850 on they feet and not in they pocket.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, well, that how much it cost for a pretty bitch like you.

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yes, ma'am, I had to Al Green his ass something terrible.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Yo, Pico, what the fuck?

You ain't been doing shit but breaking my heart!

You ain't pinning this shit on my badonkadonk.

You ain't ready for this war.

You ain't seen nothing yet till I take you to the next level.

You always said I was blessed and highly favored.

You best move along, brown Fubu T shirt.

You better talk to your boss about that.

You can start tomorrow, if you want to.

You coming in?

You don't need another body on that conscience of yours.

You don't understand

You down?

You gonna eat your Vienna sausages or no?

You gonna have to come up off of these training wheels.

You gonna have to make this G string greener than I never seen.

You gonna need more than some Neosporin for that.

You gonna need more than some Neosporin for that.

You gonna need some stitches.

You got a good eye.

You got good grade hair.

You in a hole that deep for a refinancing loan?

You just wasted a G on these hos perpetrating.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying?

You know, I can take care of that.

You let a ****a take this away from you, I don't know what you gonna do.

You made the bad check list this month, Clifford.

You mean sparkling wine?

You really gonna have bitches hitting the floor negative a Benjy?

You say you got four stacks, huh?

You should be heading thataway.

You sure weren't complaining when I put that booty money in y'all account

You sure?

You think I'm doing this for nothing?

You trying to give me a vice?

You want to be heading east?

You want to do things the hard way, huh?

You want to ride with me and...

You want your come back, too?

You wet it down, it keep your flowers from drying out in the rain.

You're not a waste, Mercedes

You're the bad one of the bunch, I see.

You's a liar.

Your ass ain't gonna last one week 'neath these lights.

Your client's a vampire.

Your husband?

Yves Saint Laurent?

15% off my cut of the VIP.

15% off the private rooms for the house.

100 for...

And if I don't? Then you and your hoochie coochie girls

Bye, y'all. Bye, girl.

DJ Neva Scared know. Found the perfect property for you.

Double the trouble! Bet.

Hell, I don't Okay, okay.

Hell, why don't you do it? Because I just went out.

Hey, motherfucker, what you doing? Bring your ass.

How much? 15.

How you let it get that bad, man? ****a, hush.

I ain't got it. What?

I did my part! Shut up!

I got this. Hey, come on, now!

I need you to play this. This Mercedes approved?

Mercedes. What?

Murda, let me kill that. No doubt.

****a, what? I said we ain't mean to offend her!

****a, what? I said we ain't mean to offend her.

No. And I was like, "No, ****a, no."

On my break here. Come over here, girl.

She coming. She just text us.

She's straight? Yeah, she straight.

Shit. Fuck!

Skrawberry. Skrawberry?

Something else. Keep talking.

Sounds all poetic and... All poetic and shit.

That's my name. Nice.

That's that bud. $20, ****a.

The fuck? Stage work was always paid beforehand.

Then fuck all my stacks, then. That's fine.

We ain't mean to offend her

What? Ain't popped his tags yet.

What's up, Big L? What's up, Style Jean?

When you wanna see it? Cool all that nastiness down now.

Where did I go wrong, Mercedes? Mama, don't start this shit again.

You all right? What the fuck do you think you're doing?

You know I don't like surprises. They love you.

You? Sure did.

...be right back.

...it's Hailey.

...until you come inside.

'cause last bitch that came in here with that name...

'cause Mercedes about to pop that ass for that cash.

'cause thou shalt not lose to the Southaven Sizzles.

'cause tonight this ass gonna make it rain hella fast.

$4 off a lap dance,