Blackadder (1982) - Season 1 Edit

A cat that drinks blood,

A certain amount of...violence.

A couple of things.

A friend of mine had this awful pimple on the inside of his nose!

A great brown ox, steaming and smouldering all night long.

A horse that talks,

A horse! (Whistles)

A horse.

A kind of pudding, made with bread and butter and raisins.

A knife? A file? A small bucket of water?

A likely story.

A little animal, too, in my despair.

A little more cunning...

A long and healthy life to him!

A lot. It's a humorous act.

A man tortured by insatiable greed!

A messenger with the black plague, perhaps?

A nice cheeseboard, fruit bowls, waterproof sandals...

A talkative badger?

A toast to our triumph!

A toast! Let all those who go to don armour tomorrow

A way out, you say?

A way out?

A woman pushed me off a rampart, finding me hideously ugly,

A wonderful idea...

A word of advice.

A—A—Argh!

A—Argh!

A—choo!

Aaaaaaargh!

Aaah!

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

Absolutely fascinating!

Absolutely, hurrah!

Accident, my codling!

Ach, I'm only kidding!

Ach! Hey!

Acting dead? That I can do.

Actually, I don't think I can.

Actually, I'm quite interested in the wigs.

Actually, they look rather like dog bites.

Adultery, pillage — through all eternity?

Adultery, pillage, torture...those areas.

After all, who has the fastest brain in the land?

After careful consultation with Lord God, his son, Jesus Christ,

After the way you slaughtered Lord Stanley!

After we had just kissed once, he transformed into a wild animal.

Again, the truth is very different.

Ah—h!

Ah, b—but have you found the chief witch yet?

Ah, Baldrick, a couple of knights to see the Archbishop.

Ah, bienvenida a nuestro castillo.

Ah, but we won't, Percy. I shall prove to all that I am a man.

Ah, Edmund, there you are.

Ah, Edmund! Come in! The witchsmeller's arrived!

Ah, Edmund.

Ah, hello.

Ah, Lord Percy. Edmund tells me you turned up late for the battle,

Ah, morning, dear.

Ah, nobles... Let me see. I think...Lord Coverdale.

Ah, right.

Ah, right.

Ah, that sounds like the answer!

Ah, the eunuch!

Ah, the fine embroidery!

Ah, well, you remember that dying man we saw in the cottage?

Ah, yes, almost as tragic as Archbishop Bertram

Ah, yes, you're right.

Ah, yes!

Ah, yes! And then one day...

Ah, yes. Ah, right.

Ah, yes. Yes, that is a knotty one.

Ah, you will change your mind later. I know it!

Ah, Your Majesty!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! And what is your name, little fellow?

Ah! Boys.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Very well...

Ah...

Ah...

Aha!

Ahh!

Alas, such is the way of the world.

Alas!

Alas! The corruption of the world!

All is revealed in this, the first chapter of a history never told,

All right, they are. I got bitten by a dog.

All the more heinous as the accused is a prince.

All you need to do is practise with Percy.

Already, I can hear the sound of battle ringing in my ears.

Although, of course, in those days he was known as the Thrush!

Am I to be saved?

Amen!

Amen. You're a lucky man.

Amusing for whom, I wonder?

An affliction you must be familiar with, never having had a brain.

An easily bribed ant?

And a farmer in Rye heard a cow reciting Geoffrey Chaucer,

And a man! Ooh—h!

And a man...who propagates poodles!

And a thousand Turkish whores!

And a young woman in Shropshire saw Geoffrey Chaucer in a field,

And all who fight us go to hell!

And an axe aimed at it.

And another thing, Your Grace,

And are you Miss Tully Applebottom?

And as for that great Spanish dumpling there,

And Brother Baldrick to do so also.

And claim the throne that isn't mine by right!

And competed in athletic sports.

And drink a toast to our enterprise.

And eaten as sweets by Mongolian bandits?

And enormous devils break wind both night and day.

And eunuchs are his particular favourite.

And flowers...

And follow me at a distance, that would be fine.

And gentlemen in London still a—bed

And give the dukedom to our cousin, Hastings. Many happy returns, Tom.

And he still roams free.

And he'd already burnt four of your friends, would you tell everyone?

And head and shoulders over Richard Il!

And hello to you.

And here he comes.

And here on a mission for King Richard, bless him!

And his insubstantial friend, the Holy Ghost,

And hold their manhood cheap,

And how are his dear little sheep?

And how Henry Tudor escaped with his life,

And how was Edmund?

And hunted down, chopped to pieces,

And I find you both very boring.

And I got ravaged by a rabid dog. Satisfied?

And I raise a royal curse

And I shall call you "My Lord", My Lord.

And I that am not shaped for black—faced war... (Cheering)

And I thought you'd be the perfect person to take his place.

And I'm yours.

And if I don't leave my lands to the Church, then what?

And if I were you and I'd asked the witchsmeller into town,

And invited them to wrestle with you inside the nunnery

And it comes...from Galveston.

And it's very good to see you, because, frankly...

And killed Richard Il.

And leave my land to the Church.

And make mad, passionate love to you.

And may your head fall off at an awkward moment.”

And me, also.

And most evil case draws to an end.

And my genitalia in a tree somewhere in Rutland.

And my most intimate treasures —

And my soul in the hands of the Lord.

And now, at last,

And of course, my autographed miniature of Judas Iscariot.

And Primate of all England.

And Queen Beowulfa of Iceland and...

And reigned for 13 glorious years.

And rest.

And send him back to the madhouse he came from...

And send me to Hell where I belong.

And shout, "Behold, I honour thee most highly!”

And slaughter!

And so bid the world farewell!

And so the King was after his blood.

And speed with haste to Jasper's Tavern.

And straightening the royal portraits, and now this!

And surrender. Your money or your life.

And that is the amusing part!

And that, sweet lady, is the whole story.

And the ghosts of our ancestors rose up

And the grisly dumpling of his killer fled.

And the papal legate,

And the part of you that can't be mentioned,

And the Queen's "got a headache”.

And the snails, presumably,

And there's all the stuff made by Jesus

And they shut the gates on him.

And think you can upset the harmony of a kingdom?

And this rather small crowd

And thus condemn himself to certain burning at the stake?

And to crush the evil.

And to mourn a great loss.

And two women in Windsor claim to have been ****d by a fish!

And we all know what happens to archbishops, don't we?

And what can I do for you?

And what have you been up to?

And what is the other thing?

And what's that?

And when all is done,

And when he comes to you, drop whatever you are doing,

And where the mind is never free from the torments of remorse,

And which nobleman, pray?

And who might that be, My Lord?

And with other men. But, oh, when they do come to the women,

And women are his prey.

And yet, Mother Superior,

And you are not Satan?

And you are?

And you can sort out the frolics.

And you, Grumbledook?

And your bottom never free from the pricking of little forks.

And your father with a fruit knife.

And your mission?

And, er, unfortunately killed him stone dead.

And, er...and another large beer!

And...what's that exactly?

Another nail in the coffin of variety.

Another toast. To dead King Richard.

Any excuse to get off a day's work!

Any news, Baldrick?

Anything else?

Anyway, how's that eagle of yours?

Apparently, Lord Wilders is keeping his sheep in his bedroom,

Apparently, my father and your mother used to...

Apparently, some fool cut his head off...or killed him in some way.

Archbishop, we salute thee!

Are as excrement compared to cream.

Are everybody's favourite lunch.

Are there any Hungarian Princesses in the castle?

Are we getting married now?

Are we to assume this horse has something to hide?

Are you all right, Edmund? You look as if you've just seen a ghost.

Are you Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh?

Are you Maria Escalosa Fiona Infan...

Are you sure about your source?

Are you sure he's the kind of chap we're looking for?

Are you sure you know what you're saying?

Are you the servant of Satan?

Argh!

Argh!

Armed with a small piece of cutlery.

As a deformed maniac who killed his nephews in the Tower.

As a little pig.

As Black Satin the Loquacious!

As for these entertainments...

As for who killed Richard 111

As I thought.

As sure as Mother was when she wrote:

As the good Lord said: Love thy neighbour as thyself —

At last, I can relax.

At last, the chance for some real power!

At least there are no living witnesses to the contrary.

At least you can take solace in one thing.

At the striking of ten bells,

Attractive to you.

Attractive?

Au contraire, I say,

Aye, everyone's gone to lunch.

Aye!

B—But th—this...!

Baa—aaa.

Baa—aaa.

Baldrick, go and get My Lord Bishop of Ramsgate.

Baldrick, My Lord.

Baldrick, what are you talking about?

Baldrick, you fool.

Baldrick, you've got a beard. Get yourself a nice dress.

Baldrick!

Baldrick's been looking at ways

Barbarians! Half of them can't even speak English.

Bare my broad buttocks,

Basically, there appear to be four major profit areas.

Bastard verger! I'll show him!

Be not paralysed with terror.

Because he's a thieving Scottish weasel.

Because, Edmund, it is going to take you 15 years

Because, Percy,

Because...correct me if 1'm wrong, Lord Percy —

Because...the Black Adder gives you his word.

Begin!

Behold! Treasures torn from the torsos of a Turk

Being struck by a falling gargoyle off Beachy Head.

Believe in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost?

Bernard of Saxe—Coburg and Jezabel of Estonia.

Bertha of Flanders, Bertha of Brussels,

Bertha of Saxe—Coburg... and Jeremy of Estonia.

Besides, Lord Dougal McAngus, the supreme commander, is expected

Best not mentioned.

Black homing pigeons?

Black Satin, known in the hierarchy of evil

Blessed be thy stainless soul!

Bloody milk! A mixture of milk and blood!

Brilliant, Baldrick. How you did that, I'll never know!

Brilliant, My Lord. Good thinking.

Brilliant!

Brilliant! Contact them at once.

Brilliant! Of course.

Brilliant! Well done, Baldrick. Very cunning.

Bring out your deeeeaaad!

Brother, I'm honoured. All I ask is a scrap of land.

Bury you at sea, say you died in combat with an enemy vessel.

Business?

But about nine months before your birth, Edmund.

But apart from that it went swimmingly. How are you, Edna?

But at least we know it's all in a good cause, don't we?

But ever the shadow of his father's threat hung over him,

But for a quick sale, you can't beat a nose.

But hasn't the church always dealt with the unusual?

But how shall it be proved, Percy?

But how will people tell which are the real relics?

But I am sure he'd appreciate a little visit from you.

But I don't really think they understood it.

But I know people who have and they say it's very blue indeed.

But I thought...

But I'm not ready. I haven't had a bath yet.

But if I do not gain its blessing, I will surely go to Hell!

But it has something to do with...

But it sounds like Greek.

But it's a fascinating week ahead.

But it's a stupid plan, let's face it.

But it's true! I couldn't find enough bats and look what happened.

But not my mother, oh, no.

But nothing on the appointment, no.

But now I intend to follow the path of the saints,

But now I've clipped its wings, no problem.

But tell me anyway.

But the chambermaid, Mary, heard you say,

But the fruits of my loins are here for all to see.

But the iron isn't hot!

But the real truth is that Richard was a kind, thoughtful man

But the Swiss are our allies.

But there have been none quite so vile as the Tudor king, Henry VII.

But they don't really count, do they?

But they're flying King Richard's banner.

But those lands do, in fact, belong to me.

But we must eat the yellow wobbly parts the good Lord serves.

But why don't we just kill them?

But you are a man.

But you know where the real secret of diplomacy lies?

But your spirit will live forever!

But, unfortunately, one of their number is ill, um...

But...

But...but your horse... used to be a huge, brown...

But...but...but...

But...I am the Black Adder.

But...if you do it in front of everybody,

By a messenger with blackheads all over his face!

By dividing their forces into two!

By looking up the tree in Rutland.

By one of our leading thespianic troupes

By way of demon—stration?

Call her into the court.

Called "The Death Of The Scotsman".

Can I help ye?

Can you describe these foul deeds?

Can you say the Lord's Prayer?

Can you see that man there?

Can you see this son of Satan anywhere in this court?

Carrots don't grow on trees.

Carrots?

Certain letters, certain rather extraordinary letters

Chief Lunatic of Gloucester,

Chiswick, fresh horses! We ride at once to rebellious Stoke,

Chiswick, take this to the Queen of Naples.

Chiswick!

Christ!

Clearly having the time of their lives.

Come here.

Come on, come on, come on. Where is she?

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, Lochinvar!

Come on, Percy, let's get the King.

Come on, then.

Come on!

Come on! Come on! (The sheep bleat)

Come, let your tongue dive into the moat of my mouth,

Come. Mistress Scott is obviously in no state to help us today.

Coming.

Concerning the lineage of Prince Harry.

Confession!

Confession!

Consign their parts most private to a Rutland tree.

Consumed with passion, whisks away little Tully!

Copernicus, Goebbels,

Correct. One of those things is?

Countess Caroline of Luxembourg,

Crucifixes...

Curse. "Dear Enemy,

Curses are much the same. I got this for half an egg.

Curses, pardons, relics and selling the sexual favours of the nuns.

Damn, damn, damn, damn!

Damn, I knew 1d forgotten something.

Damn! I'm always doing this.

Damn! They must have gone down the secret passage to the nunnery.

Damnation! I won't have enough time to attend to the drains. Edmund!

Darling? Tch, tch, tch.

Dear Lord,

Dear Lord...this tragic, horrid, nasty

Dearly beloved,

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together

Decided upon the next archbishop.

Did I get it wrong? I haven't heard that word for 20 years.

Did I say, "Your money or your life"?

Did you want to go to battle today?

Died at last, has he?

Do we have to wait till summer?

Do you confess that on the 13th day of Norristide

Do you deny that you were seen

Do you have anything to say?

Do you wish to mock my size?

Do you, Edmund Plantaganet, take Maria...

Do you, Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh,

Does anyone know what happened?

Does not St. Paul say in The Ephesians,

Doing the Lord's work?

Don't apologise.

Don't be absurd!

Don't be absurd. Such activities are totally beyond my mother.

Don't be mistaken about this appointment.

Don't drink the wine!

Don't tell me. That Earl from Norfolk.

Don't worry, Harry. It will soon all be over.

Don't worry, we'll give you a hero's funeral.

Don't you believe it. There are some letters — they're hot stuff!

Duke of Edinburgh and Warden of the Royal Privy.

Duke of Edinburgh, and as Scottish as the Queen of England's tits!

During the religious festival.

Edmund is providing the entertainments.

Edmund the Unwilling swiftly adopted the ways of the cloth.

Edmund, I believe you have a pussy cat.

Edmund, the Archbishop of Canterbury

Edmund, the Duke of Edinburgh and Tully Applebottom.

Edmund, you always were a bit of a fibber.

Edmund, you shall be Regent until...your father returns.

Edmund!

Edmund!

Edmund! I had not expected to see you again.

Edmund?

Edmund.

Edmund's giving him a last look round the castle.

Edna! Fight you with us on the morrow?

Edward.

Eeegh!

Eeh—h!

Eek!

Egbert!

Either of the Beaufort twins should do.

Either that or he can't talk.

Enough, Sister Sara. I think he's learnt his lesson.

Enter!

Enter! If you're a woman,

Entertainment.

Equally weak—willed and feeble might do just as well.

Er, gentlemen, right. Well, as you know...

Er, hel...hello...

Er, I think I can explain. (Giggles weakly)

Er, Leia is young and beautiful, her eyes are like opals,

Er, Mrs.

Er, no, er, how do you do, young lady?

Er, no, My Lord, you're right.

Er, Smith. I called about the ducking—stool fund.

Er, Thomas, this is Father O'...

Er, w—w—w—well...

Er, warming up. But when it is hot, then we will strike.

Er...

Er... No, My Lord.

Er... Yes, that's right, a Greek look.

Er...I wouldn't know, really. I was nowhere near him at the time.

Er...or was that somebody else?

Er...yes, yes, that's right.

Er...yes...yes. Fine, fine, I'd be honoured!

Escape?

Espero que encuentre los deshagues a su satisfaction.

Even if it could be!

Ever devised by man. 40 effeminate blacksmiths

Every other woman in the court has bastards,

Every person there having an affair with the same duck.

Everyone's fighting,

Everything seems to be going very well, doesn't it?

Exactly.

Excellent!

Excellent! After all, it is St Leonard's Day —

Excellent. It's certainly my mother's handwriting.

Except perhaps he who oils my rack.

Except perhaps the Duke of Beaufort.

Except perhaps...

Excuse me, I'm sorry to dip my little fly in your ointment,

Exile?

Fair enough, My Lord.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

Falling backwards onto the spire of Norwich Cathedral.

Far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm,

Fascinating!

Fat chance!

Father! Harry! There's been a messy accident. You must come quickly!

Father...

Feel free.

Fighting in the dormitories is forbidden!

Fights he with us on the morrow?

Finally, you got two knights drunk

Fine. And secondly...

Fine. Someone cut my head off,

Fingers crossed!

First decent battle since I've reached puberty.

First I thought that you and I...

First, a motto for our enterprise.

First, get you looking right.

Flee!

Flee! Flee!

For a pretty hefty reward, perhaps letting us...

For Christ's sake, let's hear the plan!

For God's sake.

For humorous occasions.

For I'm yours, and yours alone.

For is this not the weather fair, or this the Ides of June?

For relieving himself in the pond.

For the Black Russian, shall we? It terrifies the clergy.

For the King!

Foreign business men, other nuns, yes.

Forgive me, sire. I will change my will

Four handred...hand.

Four hundred and fifty! That's three times more than myself!

Four hundred...hand fifty.

Frankly, what? Spit it out, you horrid, little, scabby reptile.

Fresh horses!

Friar Bellows! (Pop!)

Friar, I fear greatly for her chastity.

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Surely, we don't believe in this.

Gentlemen, let us slaughter the rest of the royal family.

Gentlemen, to what do I owe this pleasure?

Gentlemen!

Gentlemen! I must leave you.

Get her out of my sight at once!

Get out of here!

Get out!

Get your hands off!

Get your money together, get better and get out of my bed!

Girls!

Girls! Girls!

Go on, get out. Get, get out, out, out!

Go, sirrah, and meet thy doom!

Go!

God be with you, you snaggle—toothed vultures.

God bless you!

God forfend! We will pray for his safe passage.

God, this Scotsman's annoying me already.

Good evening...

Good Lord, I haven't seen you sitting down since...

Good Lord!

Good Lord!

Good Lord! Is it real?

Good Lord! Prince Harry, archbishop!

Good Lord. Oh, well, fair enough.

Good morning, Mr Key.

Good news. My diplomacy triumphs.

Good point. It has happened before.

Good, good. So be it.

Good, very good! Take your places.

Good! You won't let me down?

Good.

Good. Right.

Goodness, look, you're sitting down.

Goodness! It must be almost time for Evensong. Must go.

Gosh, you look well.

Grand Warden of the Eastern and Northern Marches,

Grant me fair Selkirk and the shire of Roxburgh.

Great, great. It's just what we needed.

Great, My Lord!

Great! What is it?

Grumbledook, your time has come! Do you wish to confess?

H'yah!

Ha—ha—ha...

Ha—ha!

Ha—ha!

Ha, ha, Harry, the gentle art of diplomacy.

Ha!

Ha! I should have known! Never trust a eunuch!

Ha! My Lord Archbishop!

Ha! There's no such man!

Ha! What's this? "The Death Of The Pharaoh.”

Had their heads cut off and cheese poured down their nostrils

Hardly a man at all!

Harry and another one.

Harry gets all the women.

Harry, call for silence!

Harry, I hereby name thee Captain of the Guard,

Harry, they were written by your mother...to your father.

Harry, who is that?

Harry?

Harry...

Has met with a most tragic accident.

Has that hooligan McAngus left?

Have our armies on the Rhine been slaughtered,

Have the Swiss and French made sudden peace at a mountain pass,

Have these people seen the Infanta's eyes?

Have you ever seen anyone so seething with jealousy?

Have you got transport?

Have you heard? Prince Edmund's going to marry the Infanta.

Have you made the necessary changes?

Have you or have you not committed sins of the flesh with him?

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

He claims to be a wealthy man.

He doesn't look the slightest bit like me!

He is a master of disguise who appears only at night.

He knows too much!

He lives! (Cheering)

He may reward us!

He may think he can fool us, but we have ways of making him talk!

He rewrote history to portray his predecessor, Richard Ill,

He rushed towards the Archbishop, head bowed,

He swore he'd be back for St Leonard's — or die!

He was coming out of the Duke of Winchester's room.

He was facing half the Turkish army,

He was sitting with two drunken knights and yelled,

He wasn't as I expected.

He wasn't even wounded. Why, did someone say he was dead?

He who wins takes the horse.

He won't be anywhere near me, will he?

He writes here that he'll be back by St Leonard's Day.

He's a great admirer of yours as well.

He's Donald McAngus, third Duke of Argyll

He's gaining on me! He's gaining on me!

He's our son.

He's Scottish, you see.

Hebleebablub! Burn the witch!

Hell isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be.

Hell, the boy's turned out well.

Hell, where growths like turnips sprout out the nose...

Hell...

Hell...where the softest bits of your nether regions

Hello, Edmund.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello.

Help! Help! Oh, my God, help us!

Henry claimed he won the Battle of Bosworth Field,

Henry Tulip? Have you lost your conkers?

Henry, it's your decision.

Henry, you can't let him do this.

Her hair a cascade of perfect chestnut.

Her uncle told me.

Here comes the wife.

Here he comes now.

Here I am, awaiting the arrival of the beautiful, ravishing...

Here in the sight of Our Lord,

Here, by the banks of the graceful Nile

Here, who's that?

Here. Take it. It's all the money I have.

Here's why. If you'd been part of a secret committee

Hidden away — I'll show you later!

His flock that he was talking about.

His hair proves it!

His men will brutally ravish you and every woman in the castle.

History — here I come!

Hmm?

Hmm? Ch, no. I thought you meant your chances of going to heaven.

Hold it there.

Hold! You dare sit there, boy?

Hope life doesn't become too dull,

Horsey.

How could I ever forget!

How do we know it isn't a trap?

How do you prove him guilty?

How fast this heat travels!

How funny!

How is he?

How it's still going on, I'll never know.

How many have you got so far?

How many prisoners have you got, Harry?

How many sets of legs has that man got?

How much is that?

How much less violent?

How the devil did that happen?

How very kind of you to ask, Your Majesty.

How?

How?

How? By staying away?

How'd you like to be my squire in the battle tomorrow?

However, in view of your previous good background,

Huh?

Hup, hup...

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurry up, anyway. You're expected at the banquet.

Huzzah!

I also have a plan.

I am already engaged.

I am disposed to be lenient.

I am Prince Edmund, son of Richard IV.

I am reliably informed, wouldn't be worth mentioning,

I am the Duke of Edinburgh.

I am to marry the Infanta of Spain.

I am. I thought they only came in boxes of ten.

I appoint to the Holy See of Canterbury

I beg your pardon?

I bet you think that sticking your finger up a sheep's bottom

I bring unbelievable news that must halt the wedding.

I call my last witness!

I can make things difficult for him.

I can sell my wardrobe, pride of my life.

I can understand that.

I can't imagine anything of any real interest there.

I can't imagine it was worse than they used to do to each other.

I can't say. It's a secret.

I can't understand it. Edmund doesn't even like religion.

I could say it backwards!

I could've given you one of mine.

I curse you and hope that something unpleasant happens to you,

I dare say, but then, round the corner came Sir Tavish Mortimer.

I do not think we need go into the attributes

I do, Baldrick.

I do, I do, I do!

I do.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it. Who is this Witchsmeller Pursuivant, anyway?

I don't know how I'm going to break it to his catamite.

I don't know how I'm going to break it to his catamite.

I don't know, but Mistress Scott would.

I don't know. I feel that I've seen you before, also.

I don't think that's a good idea!

I don't think you know the Countess Caroline of Luxembourg.

I don't think you've met the Grand Duchess Ursula of Brandenburg.

I don't. But I'd like to know.

I doubt it! So you are dismissed!

I dunno, but that tall fellow, he had a face full of manure.

I dunno, My Lord.

I fear I may be very close.

I feel...as if 1 am...on fi—i—ire!

I found it very moving.

I give you...John Grumbledook!

I go along to the Infanta's room, and tell her you've gone mad.

I hadn't expected to see you...like this.

I have been a sinner,

I have coveted my father's adultery.

I have discharged the duties of Juniper!

I have erred and strayed like a lost ox.

I have here a true relic.

I have to go to my room, but in fact...

I have two functions — to protect the good...

I have two sons —

I have waited for this moment all of my life.

I have...at last...

I haven't had any power for years.

I haven't heard those words — a way out — for...ooh...

I haven't seen a eunuch yet.

I haven't seen your broomstick recently, Your Highness!

I hear you very kindly burnt our Mistress S—Scott for us.

I hope they've got the morris dancers — I love them.

I just can't take the pressure of all these omens any more!