A few months ago, I went on a road trip with my cousin Bruce.
About 15 years, give or take.
About accepting the situation you're in.
After he gets unfrozen, he goes from world threatening disaster
Ah, I'll have to put it in the binder.
Ah, maybe one day, but right now I just need to
All buzz, no barf.
All I've been doin' is showin' you the downsides of being a Hulk,
All right.
All right. Let's try this.
All you're doing is repeating everything
ALL: Here. Sure. Here you go.
And after the wreck, you got a lethal dose of gamma radiation.
And definitely not dealing with a decade's worth of trauma?
And everyone around you.
And from that moment on, a symbol of America,
And have my entire life taken away from me.
And I never have to be a Hulk.
And I'd wake up as Banner.
And I'm conscious.
And I'm happy to now get back to my life.
And I'm not gonna become you.
And I'm sorry that I said a bunch of harsh but very true things.
And I'm telling you, when people start seeing you as a monster,
And if it doesn't go our way, you can just Hulk out?
And integrating the Hulk Banner identities.
And Jen won't prosecute. So I will get away with it.
And no crazy Hulk stuff since.
And now I'm able to be my fully integrated self again.
And regulate your emotions, especially your anger.
And that one day he'd just swing by and take it back.
And the way it synthesized gamma,
And who's gonna protect the world if it isn't people like us?
And you are not helpful here at all.
And you win the case.
Are you quoting a comic right now?
As far as I can tell.
As in I'm gonna die?
Avoid stressful situations, stay away from people and...
Basically, I was right, and Bruce was wrong,
Because I'm better than you?
Because those with the most power
Because we're different people!
Being a Hulk asks for balance.
Bend your knees if that's comfortable,
Bing Bong. No. No.
Blow everyone's minds?
Boulder toss. Just gonna toss a boulder. It's not a big deal.
Bruce, I'm not gonna be a superhero.
BRUCE: Dialectical behavioral therapy.
BRUCE: Don't lawyer me.
BRUCE: Hmm. Well,
BRUCE: Jen, why are you runnin' away?
BRUCE: Mmm. JENNIFER: Mmm hmm.
BRUCE: No, Jen. Jen, I'm bleeding.
BRUCE: Okay, I wanted to do it a little.
BRUCE: This is huge, Jen.
BRUCE: Yeah, and it worked. I mean, my arm started to heal.
BRUCE: Yeah. I didn't come up with it.
Bruce?
Bruce.
Bruh.
But being a superhero is a trial by fire.
But first, we gotta deal with you.
But now it's like it settled in.
But there are a few upsides.
But today, you, the jury, can prove that's not the case.
But we can't pretend like we aren't two of the few people on Earth
But whether you like it or not, you're now a superhero.
But you're gonna have to change the way you live your life now.
Captain America...
Civic duty.
Close your eyes and breathe.
Come on.
Completely.
Cool.
Cool. Yet another way my life is ruined.
Dennis, you don't know but I will kill you
DENNIS: More smiles.
DENNIS: Two rhetorical questions.
Denying half of your being is no way to live, trust me.
Dick move.
Dick move.
Did my client know lives would be endangered?
Did you see that ass?
Do they merely have an obligation to refrain from the misuse of that power?
Do you have a plan B for that?
Do you know the damage you can cause?
Don't even think about moving to a place with less than ten foot ceilings.
Don't move.
Don't worry. I talked to your parents. They know we're okay.
Done. Yes, I've reconsidered. I'm still leaving.
Door never closes.
Easy, girl. Easy.
Easy.
Enough dialectical behavioral bullshit!
Even if there's only a millionth percent chance that it makes another one of us.
Feel the breaths. No judgment.
Fifteen years?
Fine.
First, we're gonna practice some mindfulness with a few yoga techniques.
Focus on this fun lawyer show until you know all about that.
For comedy, absolutely.
For me. Calibrate it to me.
Forget Hulk rage.
Girl, what happened to you?
Give it time in the lab, we could possibly do the same for you.
Give me that little device thing that you had that kept you as Bruce.
God. I just got my own office.
Good morning.
Gross, Jen. I'm your cousin.
Ha ha. Not funny, Bruce.
Have the most to answer for.
He doesn't mean that.
He is rushed to the frontlines, he becomes a war hero.
He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO tour.
He used to joke that it was a loaner,
Hear the waves breaking.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Here's the thing, Bruce. I'm great at controlling my anger.
Hmm? Mmm.
Hold in your farts.
How did you do it?
How you used the weight of civic duty during your closing argument?
I almost cried during parts of it.
I am trying to show you that we can live between what we want and what is.
I can see that you're not ready for DBT,
I can't stay away from people. How am I supposed to work?
I changed.
I did your dialectical behavior therapy, I can change back and forth,
I didn't come up with it.
I do it pretty much every day because if I don't,
I don't have a great explanation for it.
I don't need to join some secret government contractor squad
I don't think you have thought through how dangerous this level of power is.
I gotta get to the bottom of that.
I guess I've outgrown your binder, cuz.
I guess we can just skip all that, then.
I have to call my cousin to get me. Can I borrow somebody's phone?
I know I've been pushing you through a lot,
I know this is hard to hear,
I know you didn't ask for this,
I know.
I learned it from you.
I legitimately do have a life to get back to.
I need to focus.
I never thought that it would end up being a syllabus, but here we are.
I never thought you'd be into all this mind body spirit stuff.
I spent a lifetime running from this aspect of myself.
I think I'm jealous.
I thought the point was to prevent me from turning into a Hulk.
I traced all of my steps through my evolution.
I tried to warn you.
I was able to use it to completely heal my arm.
I will get called emotional, or difficult, or might just literally get murdered.
I'd have to deal with a Hulk sized hangover.
I'll see you out there.
I'm not you.
I'm ready to give my closing argument now.
I'm serious.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. The idea of being a superhero is not appealing to me.
I've been analyzing your blood.
In a better way.
In conclusion, my arm is healed
In the way that I've always wanted to.
In this tiny beach house lab.
Into somethin' else.
Is that what I'm feeling? I'm feeling...
It allows us to hold two opposing truths at the same time.
It kinda feels like if I don't transform, I'm gonna die.
It was a good time during a hard time.
It's a bit dramatic.
It's a conflict of interest. I don't condone murder. Bye, Dennis.
It's all because I made this little device which keeps me in human form.
It's amazing. It's so great.
It's clinical, not spiritual.
It's easy.
It's just me.
It's more about presence.
It's not one or the other, Jen.
It's not wrong that I am choosing to help people
It's way too dangerous to get out in the world,
It's, like, so sad.
Jen, get away from me. I'm bleeding.
Jen, I have been struggling with this for years.
Jen, stop.
Jen, there is a reason why you were handpicked to go against GLK and H, okay?
Jen, this is not goin' away.
Jen, what is it? What do you need?
Jen, when you have powers like this, it's like putting a target on your back
Jen?
Jen. Come on.
Jen. Shoes.
Jennifer Walters, attorney at law.
JENNIFER: (CRYING) It's just so sad.
JENNIFER: Aw!
JENNIFER: Bruce.
JENNIFER: So that's how it all happened.
JENNIFER: So, based on everything you've told me,
JENNIFER: Uh oh.
Jesus. What the hell, man?