Hairspray Edit

A big hand for Baltimore's own Trinklettes.

A big strong line, ladies and gentlemen. It's "Madison Time."

A Corny Collins record hop, and I've got craters.

A foot in the door, that's all it is.

A fortune teller told me My love with you was through

A hey hey

A hey hey

A hey hey

A little somethin' to eat?

A little...

A local group with a big hit record.

A massive manhunt is underway for Miss Turnblad...

A new Council Member making her first appearance on the show...

A no no, a no no

A spokesgirl?!

A warm welcome for the queen of Baltimore soul...

Aah, I

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Let me down!

About earthquakes and volcanoes.

About your daughter's whereabouts.

Absolutely not.

Again I love you

Ah, damn. Just when I was gettin' it.

Ah, whoa. Sorry, little darlin'.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Ohh.

Ahh. Your mother and I...

ALL (CHANTING): No, no, no!

All around the limbo clock

All around the limbo clock

All around the limbo world

All at prices you can afford. Big is beautiful.

All of greater downtown Baltimore...

All over the neighborhood

All ratted up like a teenage Jezebel.

All right, all right.

All right, boys.

All right, here she comes, looking very fine.

All right, here's I. Q. Jones and Lou Ann Levorowski...

All right, hon.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

All right, ladies and gentlemen...

All right, ladies, let's go. Let's play dodgeball.

All right, Miss buttercup.

All right, Motormouth, just three couples left.

All right, now. After school, you know where to go.

All right, now. I want to introduce you to my main man.

All right! Yeah!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Hold on to your hats, all you continental rockers...

All right. Now...

All right. Time y'all knew.

All right. Yeah.

All the girls and the guys

All the ratings she deserves?

All the way from Louisiana...

ALL: Aw!

ALL: Five?

ALL: Free Tracy Turnblad!

ALL: Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!

ALL: Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!

ALL: Good morning, Mrs. Shipley.

ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag...

ALL: Ooh! WOMAN: Boyfriend.

ALL: Segregation never! Integration now!

ALL: The Corny Collins Show.

ALL: The Corny Collins Show.

ALL: Tracy!

ALL: Tracy! Tracy! Tracy!

ALL: Two, four, six, eight! TV's got to integrate!

ALL: Two, four, six, eight! TV's got to integrate!

ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Yeah!

Already hid, you better holler Billy goat

Always the charmer, Amber.

Amber Von Tussle and the Roach.

Amber will be so proud of us.

Amber, I'd like to talk to you.

Amber, stop it!

Amber, stop it.

Amber, that move is far too dirty.

Amber, you're such a comedian, heh.

AMBER: I said no.

AMBER: Yes, Corny. Please, wait outside.

Amber.

Amber.

Amber.

Amen, amen!

Amen.

An ill fitting tux, snapping bar mitzvah photos.

And all mashed up against a crooner?

And as exciting as that might sound...

And at the same time frustrated by the lack of sizes in stores today.

And away we go

And back in front of the cameras where you belong.

And bewildered by the world we see

And come to a final decision.

And dedicate it to some of my special friends...

And discuss the details.

And don't tell me what to say

And each new day

And everything's all right

And fight, fight, fight.

And girl you know about Emmy

And he's always downstairs in that shop workin' late.

And hold it right there

And I bet some people will find it quite difficult.

And I came down from that cloud real quickly, I'll tell you that.

And I do absolutely nothing else!

And I gotta dance with mine.

And I knew that, but how could she go that far?

And I overheard it on the news.

And I replaced them

And I think we oughta call it a night.

And I want you to absorb my 15 percent commission.

And I won't stop tryin' to change them.

And I'm Motormouth Maybelle remindin'...

And I'm Tracy!

And I'm your fabled Miss Motormouth Maybelle...

And I'm... Link.

And if you were president, Tracy...

And is currently being held at Montrose.

And it started right here in Baltimore.

And let them know that we will not stand for racism.

And may I be frank?

And maybe even give the Hardy Har a little p p p plug, heh.

And my diet pill is wearing off.

And no one can hurt you, oh, no

And now a fast girl who loves to slow dance...

And now for the talent portion of our competition...

And now here she is on local daytime TV.

And now it's time to move on to a little something we call the spotlight.

And now, broadcast live in front of a live studio audience...

And now, it's the moment you've all been craving for.

And oh, my darling

And oh, my darling

And others who could not practice their religion in England.

And our cameras also caught Tracy Turnblad...

And our first lady, Jacqueline Kennedy, does it.

And out negotiating them.

And Penny, don't you be listening...

And please, when I go out with you

And show them that special education is nothing to laugh about.

And thank you, Tammy.

And that title wasn't handed to me on a silver platter. I worked for it.

And that winner is...

And the black kids you try to hold back.

And the hits a turning with Mr. Gene Chandler...

And the new Miss Hairspray is...

And the show biz offers are pouring in.

And the way to a man's heart is through his funny bone.

And then to just cancel n**** Day like that.

And then twist again Like we did last summer

And then you buzz around the floor You can do it if you really try

And then you throw the bomb.

And this is Link.

And this young lady right here...

And those lines have been burnin' up our switchboard.

And to top it off...

And Tracy, you keep this up and you just may be crowned Miss Auto Show 1963.

And under psychiatric care?

And we already have telegrams. Introduce yourself.

And we are out.

And we mix those kids in with the rest a the Council.

And we will march on WYZT.

And we're back.

And we're live in 5, 4, 3...

And we're off!

And what about this one?

And what's your favorite record from the survey?

And where did you see it first, kids?

And who will be the dancing princess from our council to be crowned queen?

And why would ?

And you will never leave this room again.

And you would remain completely obtuse.

And you, I.Q.?

And you, you are my girl

And you're too sweet

And you've locked yourselves out?

And your dream will be comin' to you, sweetheart...

And, my personal favorite, x ray specs.

And, of course...

And, once again, that's the Stricken Chicken.

And, Penny, go home before your mother shoots you.

And... picked her.

Angelheaded hipsters burning for The ancient heavenly connection

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Corny Collins.

Any dance that you wanna do

Any time!

Any words for your opponent who many feel was the more popular winner?

Anybody can get grass stains all over their back.

Anyway, ahem...

Anyway, she was right in the car...

Are chords of the circle.

Are you all hungry for some good fun?

Are you aware n**** Day is the last Thursday of every month?

Are you big boned, got a glandular problem, but still want glamour?

Are you crazy? You gotta dance with your crowd...

Are you listening to me?

Are you now, or have you ever gone steady?

Are you OK, Trace?

Aren't you aware of the Supreme Court ruling on segregation?

ARVIN: Thank you. Thank you.

ARVIN: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Quiet.

As I said, it is not Mount Everest.

As soon as possible.

As you know, we've kept the lines open up to the last minute.

Assaulted?!

At our house, it is.

At this wonderful auto show. Thank you very much.

Aw, man, let's hide this time

Aw, she's too cute, isn't she?

Aw, velma, the kids dig the rhythm and blues.

Aw, wow.

Aw, you lookin' good, Gertrude.

Baby, come on honey, come on baby

Baby, somebody had to do somethin'.

Back and t oh, Amber. Look at this motley crew.

Back and turn.

Back step, cha cha cha.

Back step, cha cha cha.

Back to you, Steve.

Back, again.

Bahh

Bahh

Bahh

Bail for 20's kind of pricey.

Baltimore is not ready for integrated dancing.

Baltimore, you are seeing history being made today.

Baltimore, you saw it here first. The Limbo Rock.

Baltimore, you've picked a winner.

Be a good little girl and slip this on.

Be a spokesgirl?

Be gone!

Be our spokesgirl.

Beautiful woman like yourself?

Because dancing is not your future.

Because I switched the damn tallies.

Because I want to design your Miss Auto Show coronation gown myself.

Because it's dance contest time, and we've got the wildest judge in town.

Because the Duke of Earl loves to cha cha.

Because without you

Being invited places by colored people!

Bend over Let me see you shake a tail feather

BERTHA: Oh.

Beside her.

Besides, looks like a cool scene down here.

Better than my mom?

Better time slot, too.

Big ain't the problem in this family, Wilbur.

Big strong line

Bix! Jesse! Darla!

Black Baltimore, your mother is ready to show her might...

Boogety, boogety, boogety, boogety

Boot it girl till the early bright

Both large and small

BOY 1: Get out of here. BOY 2: Go back where you belong.

BOY 2: Hey, don't touch my stuff. I'll kick your ass.

BOY 2: Yeah, yeah. Go, go, go...

BOY: Hey, I saw you on The Corny Collins Show.

Boys and girls, stay on the dance floor. Here comes the hottest tune of the day.

Boys, let's rumba.

Brad.

Brand new dress?

Brenda will be taking a leave of absence from the show.

Broad daylight and I'm sitting in front of a TV.

Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.

Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.

Brought to you by...

But all the kids are battin' up their hair now, hon.

But come on.

But I can dance to Lawrence Welk if I have to.

But I love it.

But I practiced so hard.

But I realize the devastating effect of skin blemishes...

But I'm all alone

But I've got ironing and Wilbur's working.

But if you protest, you'll be on lists.

But it deserved to go out with a bang.

But it's an easy way to integrate without trouble.

But it's what's right.

But it's your dance.

But let's check the election results to see how you're doing.

But Miss Hairspray is mine.

But some a your personal stains...

But that don't show me That you're really mine

But there is somebody I've got a crush on.

But there's food, water...

But this is invalid. This is impossible.

But Tracy was accepted on the Corny Collins Council.

But what are you celebratin'?

But what's the "Ideas of March"?

But where's our little girl?

But why not? Why not?!

But you... see all the way to Schenectady.

But, if that was you and me Out there, baby

But... She's...

Bye bye.

Bye, Tracy.

C'mon, y'all. Here we go now.

Call it the "Peyton Place After Midnight. "

Calm down, cracker boy.

Can I go?

Can I help you?

Can I please be excused to go to the library to study?

Can I, uh, have this dance?

Can you relate to Lesley Gore's music?

Can't we go someplace that's stuffy?

Can't you keep your little girl...

Care for a Baby Ruth? I got one right here.

CHILDREN: Ew!

Chime's not exactly how I'd put it.

Chubby Checker and "Pony Time."

Cigarette?

Cleaning ladies and lawn jockeys.

Come down. Come down.

Come here, baby.

Come here, girl.

Come here. Come here, little girl.

Come here. Come here. Hold them. All right.

Come here. Quick, quick.

Come in.

Come on and make a line

Come on come on And do the fly with me

Come on Let's go

Come on let's try mashed potatoes too

Come on let's twist again Like we did last summer

Come on over here, Little Inez.

Come on up here, Brenda.

Come on, Amber. Can't we just be friends?

Come on, baby My turn's long due

Come on, baby.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, everybody Clap your hands

Come on, everybody Dig this dance I'm gonna put down

Come on, honey. Time to go home. You can see Link tomorrow.

Come on, let's twist again Twistin' time is here

Come on, Mom.

Come on, one more time. One more time.

Come on, Penny.

Come on, we're goin'.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Get up. Get up.

Come on. Lie down. Lie down.

Come on. Move out.

Come on. Run. Run.

Coming up next: The Corny Collins Show.

Confirmed sighting.

Continental, continental

Continental, continental

Continental, continental

Cool.

Corny had some sort of aneurysm or something...

Corny, do something.

CORNY: All right.

CORNY: And here to announce the results we have Mr. Arvin Hodgepile...

CORNY: Let's keep the music playing...

CORNY: Parkville VFW, 8:00. What do you want to hear, Amber?

CORNY: Remember, tomorrow is Preteen Day...

CORNY: The moment of truth has arrived, ladies and gentlemen.

CORNY: We have an upset.

CORNY: What about you? LUCILLE: I'm Lucille.

CORNY: Where will you be appearing tonight?

Corny.

Could you turn that racket down?

Could, uh, could you throw a pair of complimentary pettipants in the deal?

Couture?

Crazy

Crazy

Cut it out. Knock it off.

Cut school tomorrow and come down to station WYZT to audition.

Cutting my class, Tracy Turnblad?

Daddy, are you OK?

Daddy, tomorrow I'm auditioning to dance on a Tv show.

Daddy, you know what velma wanted.

Daddy.

Daddy. Mommy. Daddy. Mommy. Daddy.

Daylight's a comin' And he wanna go home

Delinquents, if you ask me.

Devil child! Devil child!

Did poor Debbie Reynolds have a nervous breakdown?

Did you take that appetite suppressant I gave you on Dr. McKenzie's orders?

Didn't I say that?

Didn't two weeks in hairdo detention have any effect?

Do anything for you

Do as Daddy says or we'll send you to Catholic school where you belong.

Do I take it personal? No.

Do it now, or forever wish you had.

Do it right

Do it, baby Oh, baby, oh, baby

Do you know what I had to pay a cab...

Do you remember when Things were really hummin'?

Do you think you could show us some of those new dance moves?

Does she get paid for this?

Doesn't mean she won't try.

Doin' the lion sleeps tonight

Doll!

Don't act ignorant, Tracy Turnblad.

Don't anybody come near me.

Don't be ridiculous. Take it easy.

Don't be sad.

Don't breathe it in. You'll be addicted.

Don't change that channel 'cause it's time...

Don't change that channel.

Don't forget, I was Miss Soft Crab in 1945.

Don't get flip with me.

Don't make me do it, Tracy.

Don't push, please. Don't push. Settle down. It's hot. Please.

Don't put me on display

Don't stop. Cha cha.

Don't test me, Tracy Turnblad.

Don't worry about it. The Hefty Hideaway has got it all.

Don't worry. Seaweed gave me the directions.

Don't ya listen to old dogs like us.

Don't you dare.

Don't you know why she hates us?

Don't you touch my canned tuna.

Don't you try any of your voodoo spells on me, you native woman.

Don't you worry.

Don't!

Dot dot. This store's for you.

Double cross Come out of it with the rifleman

Double your fun with Noreen and Doreen.

Drugs?

Each and every one of those.

Eat up, girls. Eat up. Big is beautiful.

EDNA & WILBUR: Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!

Edna, have you seen Penny?

Edna, is my laundry ready?

EDNA: And Tracy, I have told you about that hair...

EDNA: But Tracy ain't no first lady, are you, Tracy?

EDNA: Penny Pingleton, you'll wake the dead.

EDNA: Tracy. Tracy Turnblad, It's your mommy.

EDNA: Well, yeah, come on up...

EDNA: Where are they? Don't run, Tracy.

Edna?

Edna.

Edna.

Eh.

Enough! Hey!

Erase it, and back to the Madison

Even got large size shoes for that continental Clementine look.

Every day of your life, child

Every day she's got to watch that Corny Collins Show.

Every kink will be gone in a blink.

Every limbo boy and girl

Everybody just stay calm. Stay calm...

Everybody, now Squish, squash

Everybody, please take your seats.

Everybody's jumpin' Movin' around

Everyone is welcome!

Everything she done for us.

Exactly how many sweaters do you have?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. What is going on back there?

Extensions by mutual option.

Fame, fortune, glamour.

Fantastic to meet you!

Faster.

Fatty, fatty, 2 by 4, can't get through the dressing room door?

Feeling better?

Feeling depressed, Penny? Want to talk about it?

Fender.

Fetch me my diet pills, would you, hon?

Finally all of Baltimore knows, I'm big, blond and beautiful.

Finally, some sense outta you.

Finds me so blue

Fine, you'll come dance with us.

First aid kit, gas mask, Russian language books.

First off, we have the sunny pride of Highlandtown, Darla.

First the hair, now this?

First, we get rid a n**** Day.

Fix it!

Flattery will not distract Miss Turnblad's agent...

Follow that bus.

For a whole lotta ugly comin' at you...

For all we know, that girl could be high yellow.

For Christ's sakes, pardon Tracy Turnblad.

For inappropriate hair height one more time...

For Miss Teenage Hairspray?

For the Corny Collins Record Hop.

For The Corny Collins Show...

For the first time from the certified...

For the first time, Tracy Turnblad is number one with a bullet.

For the grand opening of the 1963 Auto Show.

For you to do right

Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!

Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!

Free Tracy Turnblad! Free...!

Free Tracy Turnblad! Segregation never!

Free Tracy Turnblad! Segregation never! Integration now!

Free Tracy Turnblad.

From a never ending parade of stupid.

From her mother to be here?

From Mr. Pinky's hefty hideaway!

From my walls

From now on, you're wearing a giant P on your blouse every day to school...

From reaching for the stars.

From reading the fine print.

From The Corny Collins Show?

From you.

Front step, cha cha cha.

Front step, cha cha cha.

Gee, I never counted.

Gee, velma, how do you fire Corny Collins...

Gene Pitney, ladies and gentlemen.

Geographical point on this earth.

Get in that car before someone sees you.

Get that away from me!

Get the jump rope, Penny.

Get up

Get up

Get yourself a limbo girl

Getting in touch with your anger?

Girl, let's twist again Like we did last year

Girl, they gonna flip when they see the new you.

GIRL: Did you see that?

GIRL: I'll talk to you after biology. BOY: See you after PE, guys.

GIRL: Special ed in the red!

GIRL: Take it back.

GIRL: Teach us how to dance, honey.

GIRL: Tracy! Aah! Tracy!

Girls, go get 'em.

Girls, that was great.

Give 'em a hand, folks. All right, all right.

Give her a hand, folks!

Give her one.

Give him time.

Give me a pencil. Quick, quick.

Give me gravy On my mashed potatoes

Give me gravy You're the greatest

Give me, give me gravy tonight

Go back to Africa where you came from. Your kind's not wanted here.

Go on. Get out there and show 'em.

Go to commercial!

Go, babe!

Go, Tracy, go!

Go, Tracy!

Go!

Go!

Go. Go.

God, he's gorgeous, Penny.

Gonna do the limbo rock

Gonna see little Suzie Who lives next door

Good afternoon, Baltimore, and welcome to The Corny Collins Show.

Good afternoon, Baltimore, and welcome to The Corny Collins Show.

Good afternoon, Penny.

Good choice.

Good for you, girl. You got on the show.

Good girl. Good girl.

Good job dancing today.

Good Lord, Prudy, she's right over there.

Good morning, class.

Good night, Daddy.

Good, you'll be waiting 20 to life.

Governor, governor.

Groovy, baby. Groovy.

GROUP (CHANTING): Tilted acres is not fair!

Grow up, Amber.

Grrr!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ah! You got me.

Ha ha ha! What are you doing?

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha! Tracy, is this your older sister?

Hair can't just hang there like a dead thing on your cheeks.

Happy now?

Has fame gone to your head and made you wacky?

Has there been such a surge of late voting.

Have a seat.

He didn't even bleed.

He founded the Maryland colony for Catholics...

He never notices what I wear.

He'd put you on the show.

He'll figure out he's crazy 'bout you.

He'll love it. You look beautiful. It's the new you.

He's a psychiatrist, and he's going to make you all better.

He's gorgeous.

Head back to where you come from.

Heavy?

Hefty Hideaway, Eastern Avenue. Come on in today.

Heh heh heh heh!

Heh heh heh!

Heh, not bad.

Heh, you had to choose a colored record as your favorite song?

Heh.

Hello, Amber.

Hello, Darla.

Hello, Miss Maybelle.

Hello, my name is Seaweed...

Hello, now.

Hello, Tracy.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?!

Hello?! Hello?!

Hello.

Hello.

Her agent?

Here in your own city, there's a town without pity, heh.

Here it is, the Limbo Rock.

Here they are, The Five Du Tones.

Here they come. Come up here, kids.

Here, here. Take it all.

Here, we cater to big boned gals like yourself who are stylish...

Here, you will be taught by specialists...

Here, your signed photos.

Here?

Here's our little dynamic duo from Conkling Street.

Hey now let's party In the union hall

Hey there, teenage Baltimore!

Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one.

Hey, can you spare me a quarter, so I can buy me a taste?

Hey, come on everybody And do the fly with me

Hey, cool.

Hey, diddily da Yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, diddily dee Oh, yeah, you're looking fine

Hey, diddily doo Aha, it's such a ball to do

Hey, diddily doo Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, hey!

Hey, Jackie, we're over here.

Hey, let her go! Tracy!

Hey, let's do the limbo rock

Hey, listen, we just came to dance.

Hey, look out!

Hey, Miss White Lady.

Hey, no prob.

Hey, Penny, see the colored boy, the cute one?

Hey, Seaweed!

Hey, speak for yourself.

Hey, that was our very own Link Larkin singin' It Takes Two.

Hey, Thunder Thighs, this one's for you.

Hey, Trace. I was looking for you.

Hey, Tracy!

Hey, you don't have to be so rude.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Show me another one?

Hi, Corny. I'm Tracy Turnblad and I go to Mervel High.

Hi, hon.

Hi, honey. I'm... I'm home.

Hi, I mean, you don't have to rush off, you know.

Hi, I'm here to see Tracy Turnblad.

Hi, I'm Mr. Pinky, owner of the Hefty Hideaway, 3311 Eastern Avenue.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Penny.

Hi, Tracy. It's me, Penny.

Hi.

His mother is Motormouth Maybelle.

Hit it

Hit it

Hit it

Hit it

Hit it

Hit it

Hit it

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Honey.

Hmm. Maybe.

Hold it right there, Tracy.

Hold on.

Hollow.

Hon, it just seemed like the right thing.

Hon, she knows...

Honey, took me 5 years...

Hop in the car, bring the whole family, come out.

Hope I didn't dent your 'do.

How about a fabulous frock just for me?

How about that?

How am I supposed to negotiate pleats?

How can we keep love alive How can anything survive

How can you taint a cancerous can a chemicals?

How could I ever?

How could they be heavy, they're...

How dare you pick the same song?

How do you do? So nice meeting you.

How do you get your hair so straight and so flat?

How long you gonna be gone, Brenda?

How may I help you?

How you likin' detention now?

Huh?

Huh.

Hurry up, but watch your step. Hurry, but watch your step.

Hurry up, Penny, we're missing it!

I

I agree. We don't want our dancers thrusting like savages!

I also hope to be the first woman president or a Rockette.

I am now a checkerboard chick.

I been smilin' and dancin' on this show for 3 years.

I believe that it is naturally stiff.

I ca I can't be fired.

I can do that dance.

I can't be worried about you out there.

I can't believe I'm really here auditioning.

I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition.

I can't believe Tracy savagely bludgeoned an Eagle Scout.

I can't help it if he's short.

I can't jeopardize that.

I can't see the board again.

I can't see through her hair.

I can't sleep, I can't eat.

I closed up shop for this?

I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf...

I could sing at the Miss Hairspray pageant.

I couldn't believe what I heard

I didn't wanna tell y'all up front.

I do. I do need a fella.

I don't believe that.

I don't care how long it takes.

I don't even know why we have this room down here...

I don't know about you, but I feel like dancing.

I don't know what happened, Mr. Spritzer.

I don't know.

I don't make the rules. You gonna come in...?

I don't wanna be a laundress.

I dropped a penny in the well Hopin' you would come back soon

I feel the need of you

I feel the show should be integrated every day.

I flunked geometry.