Funny Girl Edit

A blue marble egg and yellow roses...

A feeling deep in your soul

A guy with a deal for me offered Nick a thousand to put in a word.

A telegram for Mrs. Brice!

A thousand jokes Stick around for the jokes

A walking illustration

Ace of diamonds...

All my life is just despair

All right

All right, just a second. Hold it there.

All right.

All right.

All you had to do was say that Peterson tricked you.

Alone at last.

Amateur contests, Gottlieb's Southern Repertory...

And even if I was...

And how wonderful you look.

And now a singing bride Who vocally encompasses

And poets often say

And such

And that, Miss Brice, is the end of this discussion.

And that's six expressions more Than all them Barrymores put together

And the hard knocks, and the setbacks you're supposed to learn from?

And the joke's on you

And then we rehearse a new show after that. What about you?

And we are the very lucky gents

And woman loved Is woman glorified

And you don't have to... I mean, I'm all yours anyway, but...

And, well, it's hard to quarrel with five curtain calls.

Are you out of your mind? What are you gonna tell Ziegfeld?

As Camille I just feel I've so much to offer

At least I can tell Mrs. Strakosh things are looking up.

Baby.

Baltimore?

Be a standard size that Fits a standard dress

Because when you look at him, you only see what you want to see.

Believe me, I know that.

Better.

Bravo, Miss Brice! Perfectly charming, and I'm delighted.

But don't get me wrong. I mean, I know a million guys.

But first be a person Who needs people

But guess who is Gonna be dessert

But I didn't do it out of spite. I didn't plan it.

But I don't care

But I need a strong voice in the finale.

But I still have other plans. And I really must go.

But I was watching you.

But maybe we ain't

But no one knows it

But there's no way I can catch up with you.

But tonight I was winning. I wouldn't have left that game for anything...

Can I come and watch with you?

Can I watch with no expression?

Can you watch with no expression at all?

Can't you see to look at me That I'm a natural Camille

Can't you see When you look at me

Click your skates Spin your wheels

Click your skates Spin your wheels, twirl your hips

Come back, silly. Get yourself a drink and sit down.

Come on, children, sit down.

Come on, let's try this.

Come on, telegram!

Come on.

Conductor, baby. What time is it, and where are we?

Darling, listen. Please.

Did you ever hear the story About the traveling salesman?

Did you hear that, Mrs. Strakosh?

Did you see the baby, darling?

Do for me, buy for me Lift me, carry me

Do I have to hear a lecture Such as that?

Does it take more explanation Than this?

Does it take more explanation Than this?

Don't know how I thought of going without you.

Don't tell me not to fly I've simply got to

Doubled in half

Enter the star.

Even our piano in the parlor

Everyone knows that I'm just Second hand Rose

Except the theater on opening night.

Fanny, love him a little less.

Fanny.

Father bought for 10 cents On the dollar

Fifty thousand.

Finally got a guy to marry me

Fine bunch of crooks I introduced you to.

Five hundred. Bettor.

Florenz Ziegfeld Now presents

For once in my life, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little.

For whatever my man is

Forevermore

Frances? She's the cutest little thing I ever saw.

Free beer. You come, huh?

From Fanny Brice? The last of the 5 cent tippers?

From three faces that could cause ya To have temporary nausea

Funny

Funny

Furnishing a bed In restaurants

Go ahead, get dressed.

Go on, say it.

Go out, see people, do things, enjoy yourself.

Go.

Good evening.

Good reviews?

Good.

Goodbye, Fanny.

Greatest

Half? All.

Have a bite. Keep your strength up. Food and liquor right over there.

He's a gentleman.

He's hurt?

Hello?

Help him a little more.

Her. On her. Over there!

Hey, nice place, Nick.

Hey, the place looks wonderful.

Hey, you all packed? So, what are you doing around here?

Hey!

His love makes you beautiful

His love makes you beautiful

His love makes you beautiful

Hold it, Eddie.

Hold it. Perfect. This'll just take a minute, Miss Brice.

Honey, if this is a hotel, I don't think they're ready for us.

How about a smile, Miss Brice?

How about you?

How could I go to bed?! I've been sitting here waiting, hour after hour.

How does the defendant plead?

How it ain't so funny

How wonderful to see you.

How would you know, darling?

I am by far

I am his

I am not angry! Why don't you answer a question?

I am not bossy with you or anyone.

I am the beautiful reflection

I am the greatest

I ask my looking glass

I bought her something.

I came here to meet another girl, named Elsie.

I came in early to tidy up, and the doorman said you were in.

I came straight here.

I don't even know if Nick wants us to go on...

I don't know exactly. I may go right on to Europe or the coast...

I don't know what you're paying me, but I bet it isn't enough.

I don't want anyone going around behind my back...

I expect to make another with this Florida deal. There's nothing to worry about.

I feel like a kid on a blind date.

I feel the feeling Down to my toes

I got it in Rome ages ago.

I guess it's not funny

I guess we're both happy

I had to do something.

I haven't had time.

I hear they haven't been running too well.

I just dropped by to make Nick a little proposition.

I know a lady who knows the lady who makes his shirts.

I know.

I like to feel free.

I mean, a song, you know, it's a very, very intimate thing.

I mean, it's really between me and the audience.

I mean, Mrs. Arnstein paid us.

I once dropped 20,000 on Monday...

I ought to fire you, but I love talent.

I pass.

I played Baltimore before, but never realized it was the most beautiful city.

I say, I caught your show last time I was in port.

I simply gotta march My heart's a drummer

I think we even struck champagne.

I told him.

I wanna see you too much. We've such a lot to catch up on.

I want a personal life too, and I'm gonna have it. Why not just wish me luck?

I wanted to stay away from you.

I was going to, I decided yesterday.

I was just sitting here and... "Oh, look. What do you know?"

I'd better find out. Please get him on the phone for me. Emma.

I'd like to, Nick. I think it would go.

I'd march my band out

I'll be waiting.

I'll get it, thank you.

I'll give you $25 a week. Take it or leave it.

I'll light up like a light Right up like a light

I'll look for it in lights.

I'll march my band out I'll beat my drum

I'll reserve it for 8:00. I hope you'll change your mind.

I'll watch it from the balcony. Turn on the rails.

I'm coming.

I'm going to live and live now

I'm good for a laugh

I'm offering 35.

I'm proud to think that I'm the man...

I'm Sadie, Sadie, married lady

I'm sorry.

I'm touring with the Follies. A week here, then a week in Chicago.

I've got a better idea.

I've got a lot of experience, honest. I've been on stage since I was 10.

If I can't tell what you're ordering...

If these bonds were phony, you don't think he knew it, do you?

If you hadn't looked exactly the way you did...

Instead of just kicking me

Is going to rain on my

Is it all over town, Tom?

Is Mr. Branca here yet?

Isn't this the height Of nonchalance

It cleaned up fine.

It is.

It was indecent, wasn't it?

It went beautifully. You were all very good...

It'll be all right.

It'll change.

It's a feeling I like feeling very

It's absolutely the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's against my religion to break a winning streak.

It's been the most beautiful week in my whole life.

It's comfortable and very convenient.

It's coming too easy. That's what's got me scared.

It's heard every place You find the grand ole flag

It's late. I'll walk you to the car.

It's my work, and I haven't had a smash hit for a long time.

It's one of my favorite things so I thought you might like to have it.

It's terribly late, Sadie. You should have been in bed ages ago.

It's understandable, dear. The man's humiliated, ashamed.

John, I want to see the second act opening right from the top.

John, will you get the bride music for Miss Brice, please?

Just by way of limbering up. Besides, I've got an hour to kill.

Just my right eye. I hate what it does to the left.

Just one.

Just one.

Just sit at home, become a slob

Just take...

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.

Let's

Look, forget the whole thing. Just forget I mentioned it.

Look, why don't we get married?

Ma. Ma.

Maybe we're lucky But I don't know

Mazel tov, Fanny, darling, mazel tov.

Me neither.

Miss Brice, may I remind you that you're in my theater?

Miss Brice?

Miss Fanny?

Mr. Ziegfeld, you're a genius.

Mr. Ziegfeld?

Mr. Ziegfeld?

My dope was an innocent dupe! Or my dupe was an innocent dope?

My swan girls? What are you, dumb?

Needing other children

Nervous, happy, scared, excited...

Nick.

Nick.

No law against waiting.

No more hunger and thirst

No other bride Would dare to dream

No, I just beat you in. Let's go in here.

No, no. He's in trouble.

No! But the audience did. That's why I'm going to give you another number.

Nobody in history ever had three.

Nobody, no, nobody

Now I can't.

Now, all of a sudden, in walks a bagel.

Now, come on up to my office and go out through the front of the house.

Now, what is all this? Not two minutes ago you said:

Now.

Of his adoration

Of June July

Oh, a half interest in a little farm. I breed horses.

Oh, Fanny. I can't give up this easily.

Oh, Nick.

Oh, very good.

Okay?

Okay.

Once I saw how unhappy you are...

One of your competitors authorized me to deal for him...

One roll for the whole shebang

One shot, one gunshot And bam

One shot, one gunshot and bam

One thousand and...

One throw, that bell will go clang

One very special person

Only can die once Right, sir?

Opener checks.

Or is that a pill too bitter To digest?

Oy, vey, what a feeling

Paris, London, the Delaware Water Gap.

People

People do it all the time.

People who need people

People who need people

Peterson says Nick masterminded the whole swindle. What do you say?

Pleasantly. I'm flattered, naturally.

Please talk to her, Miss Georgia.

Plus a cut for running the place.

Quit, quit, quit!

Right here.

Sadie, Sadie

Say, Nick, I was sorry to hear about those oil wells.

See? By heart, like the Pledge Allegiance.

She must a shine in every detail Like a ring you're buyin' retail

She possesses Golden talents

Should I throw her into jail Or drown the cat?

Six.

Smile.

So beautiful

So beautiful, so beautiful

So give me six good reasons why not.

So I'll see you.

So if it means giving up the theater, I hope you'll be a sport about it.

So nobody argues with the landlord?

So one of the things I really feel definite about is choosing my own.

So you just

So you take a look at it and say, "What is that?"...

So, what do I do?

So?

So...

Some ain't got it, not a lump

Some of that for me, Nick?

Something wrong?

Sorry, Flo.

Sort of makes me wish you'd come with us tomorrow.

Star

Start boiling the water.

Still our friendship

Stop boiling the water. I just lost my appetite.

Take it. I thought you were bluffing.

Talk a little. Settle in.

Tell them to put a little starch in the last rinse. That way, it won't go so limp.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks anyway.

Thanks, mister, I really...

That was all right when you were a child and made funny faces.

That was my crazy husband on the phone.

That we got married that same night

That's a very generous offer.

That's Henry Street.

That's me I just keep them

That's one thing

That's the line Fallon is going to use, that he was a victim, a dupe.

That's what I'm gonna remember.

The autumn bride is prudent and wise At sweet 16 or 20

The bride number was wonderful.

The captain looks like a rabbi.

The groom was prettier Than the bride

The minimum sentence, two years.

The most beautiful bride In the world

The one thing we didn't strike was oil.

The summer bride is glorified By Merlin's magic touch

The way he looks to home.

The world is bright

Then I saw that you were right.

Then we'll have filet de boeuf, sauce bordelaise.

Then why are you going?

Then you're missing too much.

There could be a hundred reasons.

There's nothing quite as touching

These lovelies?

They laughed with me, not at me. Because I wanted them to laugh.

They'll bend in half

They're the luckiest people

This morning she telephoned, long distance.

Till someone blows it

To a dentist.

To dance at your wedding.

To hell with your opening night!

Too generous.

Two shows in a row and three months on the road.

Up to the opener.

Very good, Paul. Thank you.

Very good. Thank you.

Wait a minute, wait.

Wait They're gonna hear a voice

Watch your step.

We were heading for something you couldn't have known how to handle.

We'll do the second act opening, kids.

We're children

Well, at least You think I'm special

Well, how much are you and the others putting in?

Well, I think you are bluffing, Mr. Arnstein.

Well, I've got three kings here.

Well, in that case, it was nice to have met you.

Well, she's gorgeous.

Well, that's part of it.

Well, there you are. That's my problem.

Well, tonight should be a nice change for you.

Well, where I come from on Henry Street...

Well, you'll think of something better...

What are you doing here?

What are you gonna do? Shoot the swans?

What are you saying?

What are you so angry about?

What do you mean, you were bluffing? Like in a poker game?

What do you think I'm paying you for? So they shouldn't like it?

What happened? What happened to the baby?

What is it, honey? What is it, sweetheart? Are you wet?

What?

What's in Kentucky?

What's that?

What's that?

What's the matter, they can't do it alone?

What's the matter?

When he takes me in his arms

When I expose it

When I get around to thinking about you, I'll let you know.

When you're a funny girl

When? Here? Tonight? When?

Where are you going?

Where are you staying? Majestic?

Where is she? Em?

Where was I? Oh, I was here.

Where's all the suffering before you click?

Wherever he is, he should only stay there, huh?

Who is as glamorous as? Who's an American beauty rose?

Who says I'm not lucky?

Who'll be standing at the sides Of the scintillating brides

Who's angry?

Why shouldn't the poker game be as important as your opening night?

Why wouldn't he tell me? He knows he can have anything I've got.

Why, because I'm funny?

Why, Mr. Fallon?

Why, you've stayed blond, you clever girl.

Why?

Why? There's nothing to hide.

Will you simmer down before your ulcer flares up?

With my job?

Won't you please come in?

Yeah, like last time.

Yeah. Flo, come on in.

Yes, that was fun, wasn't it?

You are man

You are so beautiful

You are the beautiful reflection Of his love's affection

You call that a replacement? What, Eddie, did you owe somebody a favor?

You can get lonesome being that free.

You couldn't walk over here like a person?

You didn't answer my question. Why are you so angry?

You didn't blink an eye. You didn't lose your ruffled shirt.

You do mean it.

You don't have to tell me that you did it out of love.

You had a chance.

You haven't got the job yet. Who says if you get it, in a week you can't lose it?

You know what bothers me even more than losing the house?

You know, it's a funny thing. I've imagined you practically all over the world:

You look good too. The first time I've seen you in broad daylight.

You married?

You must be that fella I met at Keeney's one night.

You must be that girl from Henry Street.

You nervous?

You never lose.

You ordered à la carte

You planning to make advances?

You really need for sure

You said we had a lot to catch up on.

You see, I never have definite plans.

You see? And there he'll be, Ziegfeld!

You still love him, Miss Brice?

You think I don't know that everything that went wrong was my fault?

You went to a lot of trouble even though you weren't sure I'd show up.

You will sing the words exactly as written.

You, with the skinny legs.

You. Yes, you, with the bloomers!

You'll bet your last dime In all of the world so far

You're damn right I didn't.

You're gonna be surprised

You're not slumming at Keeney's.

You're Park Avenue.

You're paying me?

You've been sitting in that theater all this time?

Your Honor, I move for a postponement.

Your Honor, there's no need for a postponement. I understand the charge.

Alive, alert... But she's pretty.

And they did. Yes, but it was my joke. You see?

And you are out! Eddie? I'm trying to tell you something...

Come on down here. Come on. Watch your step.

Did he try to sell you any bonds? That much of a dope, he ain't.

Go back... It's my show!

Good night. Good night.

Great. Yes, wasn't it? Terrific. I loved it.

He's a regular midnight fisherman. He'll outgrow it.

Hey, who's the competitor? There's no competitor.

How do you know that? Everybody knows. Only you don't know.

Hundreds of girls, huh? Oh, thousands!

I beg your pardon? Oh, I mean, your shirt.

I call a lawyer or...? No, he's got a lawyer.

I can't. I gotta meet a gang of people... "At my mother's saloon."

I didn't know you were home. Hello, darling.

I got the pot. What do you hear from Fanny?

I know that. It's no use, Fanny.

I never was and you know it. Don't holler at me!

I should go in and say good night. It's all right, I'll say it for you.

I would've lost a job. I was willing to take a chance.

I'll take it. Leave it.

I'm Lower East Side. Now, now. Don't be a snob.

I'm waiting. I don't blame you for being mad.

I've heard in my entire life!

Is that bad, he's coming down? Only if you wanna stay in the show.

It seemed like a funny idea. What's funny?

Look who's here, honey. Frances, that isn't very attractive.

May I call you when I come back? Yeah, sure. When's that?

Miss Brice? Yeah?

Miss Fanny? Be an angel and help me. Hold these.

Miss Fanny? Down here, Emma. Third row.

Nick. Tom.

Nick... Yes?

Not a bit like last time. So, what's different?

Not yet, Mr. Arnstein. Well, I expect him any minute.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld. How do you do? How do you do?

Oh, yeah? How did she sound?

Out. I do a terrific time step! Watch!

Sorry, kid. Give me a chance!

Ten dollars? Thank you!

That's an order. You mean you liked it?

That's what I say. Back at 4.

The ruffled shirt! The ruffled shirt.

Then, you were cute. My condolences, you're no longer cute.

There you are. Am I late?

Thinking about me yet, Mr. Keeney? Oh, it's you. Hello, Arnstein.

Very. Oh, thank God.

Well, what if Keeney stopped first? You'd have lost.

What are you doing here? Well...

What? You're kidding!

What's in Europe? It's what's on the boat to Europe.

What's your husband's story? There's no story.

What's your name? Fanny Brice.

Where is he? He's up above. Like God.

Who? Who is it?

You're getting excited over nothing. Nothing? People get run over.

...and the first night we were here. Yes, I know.

...and there'll be a knock.

...crème de menthe frappé. All right? Yes, sir.

...dragging myself back and forth to that theater every day.

...Fanny Brice?

...five.

...how much were you going to put in?

...I have to think it over, or ask my mother, or turn you down.

...if you disobey my orders again.

...it's been quite a night.

...picked up 30 on Tuesday, all in absolute privacy.

...telling the audience how beautiful I am, I'll be back at Keeney's...

...than a gambling club.

...they all got these stiff shirts.

...think together what he should do.

...until you tried it. So that's my trouble.

...up streets, down streets, museums, racetracks, graveyards yet.

...well, they were rented, you know...

...while lying in a hammock at your beautiful country house.

...who introduced you to your first lobster.

...with a girl who has her own work, is too busy to get lonesome.

...with embezzlement, according to Statute 119, Section A of the penal code."

...you don't get very hungry. Nicky.

...Ziegfeld isn't just anyone.

'Cause a chicken wouldn't do It would only cluck

'Cause they're scared that I got Such a gift