Licorice Pizza Edit

A full desert sled. It's out there for you, Jack.

A little forgetful, absent minded, and, um...

A pleasure.

A very ******* nose.

A wood headboard.

Absolutely.

Action, Jack.

Actresses get naked in movies all the time.

Actually, the water is too cold to allow the cigarette to burn through.

Africa.

Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time."

Alana doesn't have her life together.

Alana, it's Lance.

Alana, Sue. Sue, Alana.

Alana, you did it. I... We did it!

Alana, you have to be sexier

Alana, you would still be taking pictures

Alana.

Alana...

Alana's got her drink coming.

Albert Einstein. Maybe I'll see you later.

All right, Don Rickles.

All right, I should go get out of these pajamas.

All right, let that car just go past. There you go.

All right, let's get past that.

All right, people. I need some more flame.

All right.

All right. Don't list your whole resume, it's braggy.

All right. Just slow it down now, okay? There she is.

All right. Well, hey, very nice to meet you, Alana.

All that we need are people in positions of power

All you gotta do is call the world's largest manufacturer of waterbeds,

Although we're only over the targets 30 seconds,

Am I catching you at a good time?

Am I catching you at a good time?

Am I catching you at a good time?

And a councilman's schedule

And action.

And all that math homework you have to do after everything.

And Arabian vinyl

And cut. That was great.

And everybody's talking about a revolution,

And everything that I'm working towards.

And for those of you

And had a little success.

And have something to drink first, okay?

And he wanted to make sure you knew about it.

And he's gonna take down all your information,

And he's here now.

And here they are!

And his 15 year old friends all the time.

And his attractive young wife as Mioko.

And I want you to meet me on the eighth hole

And I will be at your place later, Ted.

And I wouldn't even let her have a girl sleeping...

And I've met some pretty magnificent women through my district residents.

And if they say you can do it, you can do it.

And if you don't like it, we can do a money back guarantee.

And if you've seen his pictures,

And it should be quite authentic,

And it takes some getting used to, but once you're in there, oh, Ted,

And it's open till midnight.

And just feather the brake.

And now, you're dragging this poor girl into it.

And now, you're going to be taking your boyfriend,

And Portuguese.

And produced by Todd Rundgren,

And saving the mountains, and you're talking about free Pepsi.

And settle down? Everything's gonna be fine.

And so we'll just...

And sweet.

And that wood is strong and sticks straight up against the wall.

And that's, "I'm sorry but my time is spoken for."

And the beautiful Grace Kelly.

And the men behind the guns..."

And the only thing you fucking heard was,

And the pitch is high, ball one.

And then how much was the change?

And then you have...

And then you just put your foot on the clutch

And then...

And they're just sitting there

And this waterbed business is strictly American.

And those 'little doll' waitresses

And we may be forced into a gas rationing program.

And what happens if Fat Bernie falls asleep

And whatever stupid shit you come up with.

And where we're headed.

And you could just float away on a boat.

And you have a very ******* nose,

And you speak Portuguese.

And you'd do it in a movie,

And you're a secret agent too?

And you're gonna be my best man.

And you're my friend. We're friends, Alana.

And you're old.

And, cut a rooski.

And, uh, it's with good reason,

And, Valentine, don't. Just don't in here.

And...

Annoying.

Another martini, sir?

Another?

Any other sports or special skills that I should know about?

Apurarse.

Are becoming more frequent in Los Angeles.

Are capable of doing these things.

Are dressed fittingly in colorful kimonos.

Are they older or younger?

Are you a Capricorn? Sagittarius?

Are you asking me out?

Are you athletic?

Are you doing what I think you're doing?

Are you gonna be coming there?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you joking?

Are you left handed?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you one of the actors?

Are you ready for nice dinner?

Are you ready to do a berakhah on the challah?

Are you telling me to go? I...

Arm like this. Arm like this.

Armand, I need three wing back chairs from the bar,

Art's calling me...

As if it's the only way

As it says on the sign.

As long as no one finds out who I really am."

As the Arab oil embargo continues,

As you can imagine,

Assholes!

At Everywoman's Village with Milton Farmer.

At my high school of children if it wasn't for me.

At the courts the other day? It was, like...

At the Dodgers ticket office on Stadium Way.

Aw...

Away from our office. Go down the street.

Back it up. Oh, fuck.

Barbra "Streisand."

Barbra Streisand.

Bastard.

Because I really want the paperwork to be correct.

Because I'm asking you!

Because it's such a beautiful restaurant,

Because the waterbed is the greatest thing

Because there's too much nudity

Because water in a plastic bag is a water balloon.

Because we could be the first place open that has them.

Because we could start "Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace."

Because you can always learn how to do something

Because?

Before I start asking you questions.

Before you go, I'd like the audience to meet

Being single means I have more time to work,

Besides English?

Bien. Bien. [chuckles]

Bigger, more fun, the Teen Age Fair.

Bikes to the side.

Black light.

Boo.

Boyfriend trouble?

Brian, do you see that guy over there?

Bueno.

But can I help without putting these out inside everywhere?

But don't ask me about Kuala Lumpur.

But don't worry, there are many American dishes too.

But I have to because you guys are so motherfucking late.

But I just don't really think these fit in my restaurant.

But I think as long as she's only 13, I agree.

But I'll tell you what I tell them,

But I'm sexy, right?

But if we choose one thing...

But it doesn't have to be that.

But it needn't be that way, you see.

But my personal path has led me to atheism.

But really, you remind me...

But that's what I'd like to do.

But they have free Pepsi.

But when someone wants to buy a bed,

But you can't be here right now.

But you did ask how I was gonna pay for dinner.

But you know from that, right?

But you know what, Ted?

But, ever since you've gotten here,

But, I wouldn't normally leave somebody in my house when I'm not there,

But, um...

By 5% a month

By almost 50% in one year.

By the sand trap, dos minutos. Pronto.

Bye.

Call 262 0797.

Call 451 3631 and have a Fat Bernie Waterbed

Calling from Councilman Joel Wachs' office.

Calling from Councilman Joel Wachs' office.

Calling from Joel Wachs' office.

Can I come and install the bed for you?

Can I get you something else to drink?

Can I have some quiet on the set?

Can I have two Cokes?

Can I help you?

Can I touch them?

Can we just discuss this at another time? Please.

Can you say that again? We didn't get that.

Card.

Certainly you have some prospects?

Changing the world isn't cool?

Chin up, chin up.

Close your mouth just a little bit.

Comb?

Comb?

Come here often?

Come inside when you're ready to be cool.

Come on, baby.

Come on, you wanna go see these stupid pinball machines or what?

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. How are you gonna pay?

Come out to the Pinball Palace.

Come to Fat Bernie's

Come to Pinball Palace. Opens at sundown.

Como esta?

Compatible mate for me in one minute.

Congratulations.

Consequently, they're fortified accordingly.

Councilman Joel Wachs' office. This is Alana. How may I help you?

Councilman Wachs' office. Alana speaking.

December what? 13?

Delicious.

Delivered COD right to your very door.

Did he teach you how to drive?

Did he try and get a hand job from you?

Did you ever see me on the...

Did you get a chance to talk with Alana?

Did you know there was an oil embargo?

Did you know we got a big movie star here?

Did you murder someone, huh?

Did you see No Time for Honor?

Did you see Under One Roof?

Dinner tonight?

Direct sight lines, huh? Okay.

Do you dig it?

Do you even remember what my real name is?

Do you go to the movies?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Do you have a good relationship with your dad?

Do you have sisters, or brothers, or anything?

Do you know any other languages?

Do you know how to horseback ride?

Do you know who my girlfriend is?

Do you like Japanese food?

Do you love it?

Do you mean you?

Do you mind grabbing lights from the car?

Do you need some help?

Do you really wanna see my boobs?

Do you think it's weird I hang out with Gary and his friends all the time?

Do you think that would be better than the weed?

Do you understand any of this?

Do you wanna go home?

Do you want me to wait up for you?

Does it seem like she's my girlfriend?

Doing circles around that track. [laughs]

Don, thank you for calling me back so swiftly.

Don't be creepy, please.

Don't bother.

Don't call it a date. It's not a date.

Don't call me all the time. Okay?

Don't forget it.

Don't forget to sit in the bean bag chair.

Don't let him get off the phone.

Don't tell me to make it more sexy, man.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry, okay?

Don't worry. I'm gonna find you, okay?

Don't wrestle on the bed, okay?

Don't you even look at me.

Don't you fucking get in that car.

Don't you get in that car.

Don't you, Jack?

Encino? I live in Encino. Where in Encino?

Ensconce yourself in your own king size waterbed

Este, don't you even look at me.

Ever since you were a kid?

Everybody rolling? Good?

Everyone, everyone! May I have your attention, please?

Excuse me, Don.

Excuse me. What the fuck?

Fantastico. [chuckles]

Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace, tonight.

Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace.

Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace. Opens at sundown.

Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace. Opens at sundown.

Fat Bernie's waterbeds, bean bag chairs.

Fat Bernie's, how may I help you?

Fellas, you okay back there? You okay?

Fifty here.

Fire up those torches! Now!

Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. All right.

For a social life?

For coming in to G and G Agency.

For Jerry had a restaurant some 15 years in Tokyo.

For ******* girls.

For the daring, sashimi is offered.

For Tuesday's game.

Found it.

Four small children and a girl or a young woman.

Free Pepsi. Opens at sundown.

Free Pepsi... Danielle,

French...

Freshmen class portraits at 9:30.

Friday, April 2nd, 6:00 to midnight,

Fuck off, asshole.

Fuck off, teenagers!

Fuck.

Fucking Chumash Territory!

Fucking duh. What did you think it was made out of?

Fucking sardines packed in a can.

Gary fucking Valentine, if you get in that...

Gary just came by and dropped off a flier for his Pinball Palace.

Gary Valentine.

Gary,

Gary, don't worry.

Gary, Gary, Gary, I see Alana.

Gary, I wanna help,

Gary, I'm gonna take you, it's fine.

Gary, that's filled with gas.

Gary!

Gary?

Gary.

Gary.

Gary. Hi. I'm the manager here.

George Peppard. That's great, that's great.

Get him on the phone, man, or get him down here.

Get in.

Get some gas, I'll be on my way.

Gets boring, but you know...

Gets complicated.

Give it a try,

Go ask Brian if you're cool.

Go on, like a tiger. Off it. Go.

Go on!

Go say something to him.

Go, just make a left here.

Go.

Go. Let's go. Let's go.

God Almighty.

God damn it, Steve.

God! Fuck. Son of a bitch. Fucking shit!

God.

Goddamn sons of bitches don't even know where they are.

Good morning. This is Alana Kane

Good morning. This is Alana Kane

Good morning. This is Alana Kane

Good people of The Cock,

Good to see you, too.

Good to see you. How you doing?

Good.

Good. Divorced, but, uh...

Good. I'll pass the baton off to you.

Gotta stop fighting with everyone all the time.

Great for your back and your neck.

Gritted teeth and fixed bayonets.

Groove on that.

Guess I'll see you later?

Guest band and a free Pepsi. Fat Bernie's Pinball Palace.

Guitar.

Guys, calm down.

Ha! Sherman Oaks.

Hand as many of these out as you can.

Hand me that jacket.

Hardcore, Alana!

Harold.

Has got Jack riding a motorcycle,

Have a nice little picture of you guys, and...

Have fun in Attica, dickhead.

Have that every night with a Soggy Bottom waterbed.

Have you ever seen him on a bike?

Have you guys ever been to the ocean?

He asked about Brian.

He does a little.

He doesn't look weird to you?

He has the heater, the headboard, the side ashtrays,

He is a miracle worker.

He keeps looking over here like a creep.

He keeps me locked up inside.

He lost five games to nothing. So that's done.

He said he was gonna kill Greg.

He said that?

He was gonna take me out of here.

He was maybe gonna be my boyfriend.

He's a mess. Forgets everything.

He's all scruffy.

He's also really smart and a good businessman.

He's been there all morning.

He's cute for a little hustler.

He's gotta get down here.

He's in bed by 7:30.

He's in bed by 7:30.

He's in here all the time. He's a friend of Jerry's.

He's never gonna win, is he?

Head right here, facing that way.

Headed south on Argyle.

Hebrew.

Hello, boys.

Hello, gorgeous.

Hello, handsome.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Helping my friend with his waterbed business.

Henrietta no. I think she's too young.

Her grandmother and mother love to cook.

Here it is.

Here we go.

Here, why don't I take the wheel,

Here. Don't know whose it is.

Hey, "Soggy Bottom" sounds like someone shit their pants.

Hey, Alana. What are you doing here?

Hey, can you hear me? Buddy, stop!

Hey, Frisbee.

Hey, Gary, can I steal you for a second?

Hey, hey, buddy, buddy, buddy.

Hey, I'm telling you to fuck off, man.

Hey, man, cool out.

Hey, Mark, how ya doing?

Hey, that's him?

Hey, you still work at Tiny Toes?

Hey.

Hey. We can always do take out tonight.

Hi, Alana.

Hi, Gary. Please step up over here.

Hi, it's Alana Kane.

Hi, it's Steve. Mmm hmm.

Hi, welcome to Fat Bernie's.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. And who is this, Gary?

Hi. I was wondering, if you're not too busy,

His friends know him simply as Jerry,

His name is Mr. Jack Holden.

Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm on my way.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. How would you know?

Hola.

Hold on, people. Single file.

Hold on.

Hop on.

Hopefully, you never fucking meet her.

Hoping we'll come.

How about a, uh, cold read?

How about your dad?

How are you doing?

How are you gonna pay for dinner?

How are you gonna pay?

How are you gonna remember it?

How big is your penis hole?

How did we survive?

How do you know him?

How do you like working at Tiny Toes?

How have I never seen you before? How have we never met?

How long you guys been together?

How may I help you?

How old are you?

How you think of this?

How'd it turn out?

How's things back here?

How's your day going?

However, I must respectfully refuse. I'm an atheist.

I also thought you might wanna know that he ordered a waterbed this evening.

I am getting a lot more requests

I beg your pardon?

I can be your friend but I can't be your girlfriend.

I can get us martinis.

I can hear you breathing.

I can see that.

I can sing, and I can dance.

I can't do the blessing, but thank you.

I can't take you to New York for The Jerry Best Show.

I can't understand. No, because you don't tell me these things.

I can't, I'm working.

I come from Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

I didn't call this girl. You called her.

I didn't say a word.

I didn't see it before. That's... Wow.

I do, too.

I don't care where you eat. Wait, where are your parents

I don't know a Tony.

I don't know a word about you.

I don't know how to do anything else.

I don't know what's cool?

I don't know who your friends are, if you've got parents...

I don't know why I come down here all the time,

I don't know, Gary. [sighs]

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. What do you like?

I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.

I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not.

I don't really know what that is.

I don't think you should call the party off, or...

I don't think you're gonna be asking any questions.

I don't understand.

I don't wanna keep you too long, but, um,

I don't want you to have to bear the burden in case we hit it.

I feel like I've been with Rainbow for 10 minutes,

I fucked up Danielle's guitar.

I fucked up Danielle's guitar.

I get this feeling I was meant to know you, Alana.

I go there every Thursday for dinner.

I got 400. 400.

I got a couple of dollars' worth, but, I'm afraid for the weekend.

I got a really good idea.

I got your gas right here, Jon.

I gotta do some prep. I'll see you kids later.

I grabbed my bag and my guitar, and I came to California.

I had the chicken.

I hang out with more people than that.

I hate working at Tiny Toes.

I have integrity.

I have to go to Las Vegas.

I have to wait until my work is done.

I haven't done anything to you, Joel.

I heard other things, too.

I hope so. I hope so.

I imagine someday soon somebody's gonna come along

I just did a guest spot on Banacek with George Peppard for NBC.

I just wanna see how you want these orders written out.

I kept it inside, but what I wanted to say was,

I knew that was what you were thinking.

I know it's spinning, and it's gotta spin back.

I know she likes the bean bag, but you need the Big Bernie.

I know you know I knew

I know you're gonna love our wet beds.

I know, I know.

I know, I've heard all the jokes.

I know.

I like Chadney's.

I like it.

I like that.

I like that.

I like the way you look.

I live in Sherman Oaks.

I love his work with young actors.

I love it so much, it's gonna kill me one day.

I love it so much.

I love it. I love it so much.

I love the name. Yeah.

I love you, Gary.

I mean, ever since I was a kid, I've been

I met the girl I'm gonna marry one day, Greg.

I might...

I need a bottle of Everclear,

I need plenty of grease from the kitchen.

I need to get my life together.

I parked on the side so no one would hit it.

I really don't.

I saw two of my best Black friends beheaded in the Congo.

I slip around the corner to Tail o' the Cock for my dinner.

I started a new company, and, um, I'm looking for some pinball machines.

I studied Krav Maga.

I take my brother Greg to Tastee Freez around 6:30,

I take my brother Greg to Tastee Freez around 6:30,

I talked to all my people with the court.

I think I can make a right and get us to the 76 station.

I think I know where I can find some LSD.

I think it's weird that I hang out with Gary

I think it's weird.

I think so.

I think the cuisine is not mentioned.

I think they'd like that.

I think we did talk about that, didn't we?

I thought it was like a rubber.

I thought it was, um...

I told you I'm a good actress, Gary. I told you.

I told you that?

I told you to make it more sexy, I didn't tell you,

I told you to say no to that, Alana.

I trust you.

I used to work with Julie Andrews.

I wanna introduce you to my old friend, Matthew.

I want you to be horrified.

I want you to have dinner with me, not my work.

I want you to myself.

I was born into Judaism,

I was calling to see if you still work for Joel Wachs?

I was in New York on a PR trip for Under One Roof. The Jerry Best Show.

I was only two off.

I was trying to stay cool though.

I was trying to stay...

I will never speak to you ever again.

I will.

I would get naked in a movie if it gave me the part.

I would say, "Thank you very much for the compliment."

I would say, "Thank you very much for the compliment."

I'd lay it down and show you how it works.

I'll be right there.

I'll get us four martinis right now.

I'll make a joke just for you.

I'll make that call to the girl selected by a computer...

I'll see you on the tarmac.

I'll see you soon.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll take two Cokes, Brenda.

I'll tell you intimacies I've shared with no one.

I'm 10 minutes away, I'll be right over. Thank you so much, Don.

I'm 28.

I'm a politician.

I'm a real estate agent.

I'm a showman.

I'm afraid you're gonna be upset with me.

I'm all right!

I'm calling to ask if you've heard

I'm calling to ask if you've heard

I'm coming, Nancy!

I'm cooler than you.

I'm doing fine.

I'm eliminating state property tax for the elderly,

I'm glad I'm here, too.

I'm going out.

I'm gonna be here

I'm gonna blow this stop sign.

I'm gonna kill you and your family

I'm good. Good, it's good to see you.

I'm great, yes. Of course.

I'm *******.

I'm Jon Peters.

I'm just gonna give this to you.

I'm just saying that if she asks you

I'm like a fucking doctor.

I'm not 16, I'm 15.

I'm not driving you.

I'm not fucking waiting in this motherfucker.

I'm not going on a date with you, "kid." You're 15.

I'm not going on a date with you, man. You're 15.

I'm not going on a date with you. You're 12.

I'm not going on any dates.

I'm not gonna forget you.

I'm not gonna see you later.

I'm not telling you where I live, creep. Come on.

I'm not trying to brag,

I'm not trying to pressure you.

I'm old?

I'm patient. I'm a patient man.

I'm really glad you're here.

I'm selling earrings for my friend JoJo.

I'm sorry, I don't wanna make you any more late

I'm sorry. Are you rolling? Did you...

I'm sure.

I'm taking you to The Mikado next time.

I'm tired, and I'm here at dinner.

I'm very happy, Gary.

I'm waiting for my friend.

I'm working for him.

I've been right here the whole time.

I've been very organized, capable, and inspired.

I've done three sketches on The Merv Griffin Show.

I've gone to his house three times to pick up paperwork.

I've never had a martini before.

I've never met anyone left handed before.

I've seen how you do your homework.

Idiot.

If he stays there too long, I'll say something.

If I ask for your phone number, would you give it to me?

If I say yes and we go on a date for dinner,

If I'm gonna call Art, I need to know 100% that this thing is passing.

If it's convenient within your plans,

If it's not his wallet, it's his keys or his briefcase.

If she asks if you can dance, say yes.

If the Arab countries keep that pledge,

If we get lucky and make the light at Ventura,

If we mentioned the cuisine.

If you can do something that you might not know how to do,

If you can get there.

If you could come meet me for a drink?

If you don't mind, Councilman Wachs.

If you don't mind, let's have you... Yeah.

If you ever say anything to anyone, I'm never speaking to you ever again.

If you fuck up my house.

If you make the left, the Mobil station's closer.

If you wanna come and say hello,

If you want it more sexy, I'll make it fucking horny.

If you're a good parent, and you're watching...

If you're happy, I'm happy.

Imagine what that would feel like, if I shoved that excuse up there.

In LA for the first time since...

In motion picture history.

In my public relations company.

In our factories, our cars, our homes, our offices,

In the first place so, of course it took this long.

In your public relations company?

Interesting development to the plot, Henri.

Is a delightful dinery featuring foods of Japan,

Is everything okay?

Is Gary here?

Is he a shit?

Is hidden in those mountainsides.

Is it circumcised?

Is it okay if I tell you something?

Is she gonna be taking her boyfriend to his house,

Is she like that all the time?

Is that Rex damn Blau?

Is that your campaign slogan?

Is that your girlfriend?

Is there a problem?

Is there a time that's convenient for you, within your plans,

Is this lines

Is Todd Rundgren's new album.

Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?

It doesn't make you hot?

It gets better.

It is whatever you think it is.

It is?

It means that you're deficient in vitamin K.

It moves in a similar way to the ocean...

It says "Land ho!" right there.

It was good. Went well.

It won't bite.

It would reduce their production

It's a great night for a jump.

It's a lifetime."

It's a table for four, please. Table 38?

It's all mine.

It's an outmoded discriminatory law

It's built for you.

It's funny, we were just talking about that.

It's hard to tell, I don't speak Japanese.

It's important.

It's KPPC Pasadena, we've got The Doors coming up next.

It's martial arts from Israel. It's used in combat.

It's modern edge.

It's more like, "How to use a pen to stab someone's eye out."

It's my nozzle now.

It's never about me, and that's why I'm sad.

It's nice to meet you.

It's nice, isn't it?

It's not easy. Gary can't do it.

It's okay. It's okay.