Loverboy (1989) Edit

A Diet Coke.

A large Coke.

A lot of these girls you've been seeing, they've got boyfriends, don't they?

About how I don't know how to treat a woman.

Ain't that something?

Alex, I love being with you and everything. It's just...

Alex?

All day, he works on starlets with little Barbie doll hard bodies.

All right, Bodek. You ready to get your ass kicked?

All right, I'll be right there. Thanks a lot.

All right, maybe one beer. That's it.

All right! Outside! Outside!

All right.

All right. What the hell is all this?

And breathe and say yes to the photo experience.

And don't forget to order extra anchovy.

And how would you feel if I said:

And I am not the regular delivery boy.

And I guess I kind of expected a sort of:

And I swear, the son of a bitch called from a shower stall.

And it isn't just his secretary.

And Jenny's phone number.

And my husband's in the perfect body business. It's like a joke.

And no more free ride!

And now...

And these Incs?

And they're already swamped with deliveries.

And this D here, what's that for?

And tonight of all nights.

And why don't you ever stand up for me?

Another shoulder.

Any luggage, sir?

Are you ? Are you sure?

Are you kidding? Oh, yeah. It's the hottest item all summer.

Are you Sal?

At a party where every person we know...

At least, I used to be.

Baby, baby, baby. What's the matter? Why are you crying?

Bad boy! Bad boy!

Bad dude! Bad dude!

Be American woman with American freedom and opportunity.

Because I had to get back to you.

Because it makes me feel...

Believe me, I know what you're going through.

Besides, Harry never comes home. He's downtown all day. Every day.

Big, big buddy?

Bring the little fish. Okay. Good, good. Come on! Come on!

Buddy?

But I am working on it.

But I cannot lie to you, my darling.

But I still love you.

But it is all broken. The tip will be very small.

But my husband, he treats me like a geisha.

But see, I'm gonna...

But they decided to make up anyway.

Bye bye.

Bye!

Call them back and say there are no more anchovies.

Can I ask you something?

Can I help you?

Charged to Señor Pizza. The bridge club ordered in.

City forgot to inform us...

Claude and Monica, they decided to forget the whole thing.

Come here. You come here. I'm gonna teach you a lesson.

Come in.

Come on out here!

Come on, come on.

Come on, Jen, my dad's coming. Look, at least let me get my stuff.

Come on, Jen. Let's get out of here.

Come on, kids! Pizza's here.

Come on.

Come on. At least pick up the phone.

Come on. Come on. Calm down.

Dad, look, I'll see you in the morning, okay?

Damn right, you won't. I'm not sending you back.

Dear Randy...

Diane, it's been over two weeks. How long are you gonna keep this up?

Dinner and a movie.

Does she want to get back together? This is great.

Does this kid look like a fruit to you?

Don't make me look vulnerable. Forbidden quality.

Don't move. My lip is caught in the zipper.

Don't stop.

Don't take it so personally.

Don't worry about the tip.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna bite you.

Don't worry. He won't be home for hours. He's into private instruction.

Don't you want your gin and tonic?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Do you mind if I spend the night in your trailer tonight?

Extra anchovies.

Extra lettuce. Extra cheese.

F in geometry. Now, what the hell's so subjective about that?

Final? Final for what?

Finally, I tried channeling, so I find out who I am 1000 years ago.

Fine. I'll...

Five, six, seven.

For what it's worth, I think she made a big mistake.

For you?

Forty three! Seventy six, hike. Go!

Four of them scheduled deliveries for later this week!

Fuck fiber. I want grease, red meat. I got pork chops hidden in the freezer.

Get out of my face, will you?

Get the extra anchovies, Mom?

Go ahead.

Go ahead. Tell her.

God, it's Harry!

Goddamn shit!

Good God! What kind of a professional lover are you?

Good to see you. You look great. How you been?

Goodbye, Harry.

Goofing off on the job, huh?

Got a delivery for Beverly Hills, and the rest go...

Great sex.

Great! This is all I need.

Great. Right here is fine.

Harry!

Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Haven't had any complaints yet.

He does not have a clue what he's doing there!

He never brings girls home to meet us.

He never came back from his break. Sal's on delivery. I'm all alone.

He never even talks about girls anymore.

He treats me like his slave.

He's a bodybuilder. Mr. California Olympian '84.

He's delivered his last pizza around here.

He's getting away!

He's got more experience.

He's had all the chances he's gonna get.

He's not seeing anybody else, is he?

He's probably some young beach boy stud. With a name like Jason...

Hello, I

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Help her. While you get ready to go. Okay! Oh, good.

Here you go, Mrs. Smith, Room 214. Other side of the pool.

Here.

Here's your number, number 16. We'll be with you in a moment.

Hey, Bodek, you are really quite the popular guy, aren't you?

Hey, Bodek!

Hey, catch!

Hey, come on. It can't be that bad. I mean, look at this house.

Hey, get your hands off of me!

Hey, God...

Hey, hey, come here.

Hey, hey, come on. Calm down.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, how you doing?

Hey, is somebody up there?

Hey, Jen. All right.

Hey, Joe, congratulations. Where's the better half?

Hey, Juan! Break me out one of those big cans of anchovies, will you?

Hey, look, look. I'll move it. I'll move it.

Hey, son!

Hey, that's not bad. Porking her?

Hey, Tony! I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need a really

Hey, wait! Wait!

Hey, what is this? Leave him alone! It's not him.

Hey, you got a problem?

Hey, you still got it.

Hi, I'm Brad. Frosty beverage?

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. How y'all doing?

His Oriental wife runs into the street...

Hold it, you three. Hold it right there.

Honey, I got you some flowers, and I just thought we could talk

Honey!

How about sexually?

How am I going to get through that party when I know?

How am I supposed to feel, knowing that you slept with all those women?

How bad could it be?

How come you didn't give it to her then?

How could you? What kind of amoral chump are you?

How dare you sneak home in the middle of the day...

Hug me?

I admire that.

I always use rose petals in my bath.

I believe you know my wife.

I came into town for a few days, and when I saw you in the store...

I can't believe it, right before our 20th anniversary.

I can't help it if I like a shot of tequila once in a while.

I can't! They didn't leave names or numbers, only addresses.

I could get used to this.

I didn't know Darlene was married. She never told me.

I don't believe this.

I don't care what my father thinks. I know my mom's gonna love you.

I don't know what I'm doing in school. So I don't go back.

I don't think I'm out of line. He's been in school, what, two years?

I don't think this is the place for your lover to make a scene.

I don't wanna be the love doctor of Beverly Hills!

I don't want to break up with you. Look, I got you a present.

I don't want to know.

I figured so. You got five more calls, all women, all extra anchovies.

I found out he's been screwing some nympho RN on the graveyard shift!

I got 20,000 of these waiting to go into the warehouse as soon as you build it.

I got 1000 crates of those talking robots, sitting on the dock!

I gotta get back to school.

I gotta get some training in something.

I had a letter to Penthouse staring me right in the face, and I let it go.

I hate to say it, but the guy never appreciated you.

I have a fantasy.

I have to go kill myself now. Excuse me.

I heard this story once from this guy back in New York.

I hope you didn't leave your car in the red zone.

I just couldn't say no. Alex? She just insisted.

I just took a delivery order.

I just want to leave now.

I knew that son of a bitch was porking his patients. I knew it!

I know all about you and this guy Alex, here.

I know something's wrong.

I know the wrapping's a little primitive, but it's nice. Go ahead, open it.

I know this is probably against your professional code...

I like actual food, not fiber.

I mean, I come on to every girl that walks, and they throw up.

I mean, I don't know what I'm doing here.

I mean, this was an incredibly gorgeous woman.

I mean, we had our ups and downs...

I mean, you're just so...

I mean, you're right.

I meet this woman when I deliver pizza for him.

I need a really big favor.

I own Avedon, darling.

I pick them up in Tokyo for a buck and a quarter, sell them here for $40.

I see them moving around in there. Come on out, little weasel!

I see you've changed your style.

I slept with all these guys this summer, but, hey...

I smiled.

I think he's really sorry. Doesn't look like he's slept in days.

I think I can handle it.

I think I'm entitled to be a little concerned here.

I think it's caused from stress.

I thought I could.

I thought the son of a bitch was a saint with all his late night emergency calls.

I told you they're painting my place, remember?

I tried EST, and I shared all that I could.

I wanna work triple shifts. I need to make 9 grand by September.

I want another chance. My life is a mess without you.

I want them to meet you. Their 20th anniversary is at the end of the month.

I was in the van.

I was so stupid to come here without calling first. What was I thinking?

I was wondering...

I would come home.

I'll have a Pizza Loco.

I'll have a Taco Macho.

I'm a computer analyst!

I'm a happily married man, Harry.

I'm a married woman.

I'm afraid you don't understand.

I'm at a friend's house, and I'm gonna spend the night, okay?

I'm glad, because it bothers some people.

I'm gonna come and see you on weekends.

I'm gonna have to cancel that order.

I'm gonna tell my parents about you.

I'm here to serve!

I'm home!

I'm never gonna get Jenny back.

I'm never gonna see you again, am I?

I'm not ashamed of you.

I'm proud.

I'm Randy Bodek.

I'm sorry about school. I won't do it again.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Are you all right?

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

I'm sorry. I don't date boys.

I've got three charges for deliveries from someplace called Señor Pizza.

I've tried to talk to the wife. She won't listen.

Ice. Get some ice.

If I wanted a drink, I would have hired a bartender.

If I was the one who needed money...

If something's bothering me? Of course something's bothering me!

In Costa Mesa?

In Genova, a husband come after me with a butcher knife.

Intruder alert!

Intruder alert! Trespasser!

Intruder alert! Trespasser!

Intruder! Intruder!

Is that the fourth one this week, Tony?

It was like I was younger, so forget it.

It's a chunk of rock.

It's a summer job for you.

It's a summer job. What'd you expect?

It's all right. I'm a little rusty myself.

It's gonna get a lot better too. We now take all major credit cards.

It's got a nice smell to it. I kind of like it.

It's got extra everything. Sausages and the jalapeño peppers

It's great. It's really great.

It's just that this isn't what I imagined.

It's kind of a female thing around here.

It's not good to tell him I'm living with a girl.

It's nothing personal.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's taking me a second to get this.

It's your wife!

Jeez!

Jen, don't be so hard on yourself.

Jen? Yeah.

Jenny is 150 miles away. She won't even return your calls. Give it up.

Jenny, I wanted to be with you last night.

Jenny, I'm gonna give the money back.

Jenny?

Jenny.

Jenny.

Jenny's gonna come any second!

Joe, I don't know why you won't give him one more chance at school.

Joe, we agreed for him to have opportunities we never had.

Joe, who was that?

Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe.

Joe.

Jory got to my mother?

Jory. How are you?

Joyce and Reed, well, they weren't gonna forget anything.

Joyce used to love to go dancing.

Joyce, I'm not making this up. I have pains in my chest.

Joyce! What am I gonna do?

Jumping to conclusions, am I, Diane?

Just Just take your clothes off.

Just happened.

Just take me to the bus station.

Kid, you're gone. Your days are numbered.

Kind of.

Kind of.

Kyoko was gonna bail out Harry.

Kyoko?

Last one.

Leslie! Julie!

Let me fix you a drink.

Let me in there.

Let's get that bastard.

Let's see your sympathy when he borrows makeup.

Let's see, 9000 plus the 400 you just made, divided by 200...

Like extra anchovies on that?

Linda?

Listen, man, I tried to tell her. She wouldn't listen!

Listen, nobody will believe that we just slept here.

Listen, you're exactly one romantic interlude away from the jackpot.

Look alive out here, will you?

Look at this. Look at this. You got a bunch of deliveries here.

Look who's here.

Look, I don't know what time

Look, I really See, I wanna Look, I gotta get back to work.

Look, I'm sorry, but I gotta get going here.

Look, if something's bothering you, maybe this isn't the best time.

Look, it's just been one giant mistake.

Look, Jenny, I know it's hard to explain, but

Look, just don't say no until you think about it.

Look, Linda, you sure you'll be safe down here?

Look, maybe I shouldn't be here.

Look. I got Look. See, I got a delivery. Come on.

Looks brand new to me.

Looks good.

Major, right. I'll be damned...

Man, I can't believe they go for that Pepé Le Pew shit.

Man, that is like wild boars or something.

Many proposals of marriage. But no, I wanted to marry American.

Me?

Mom!

Mom! They need me at work.

Move it! Get out of my way!

Mr. Bodek, you can't stay here. You've gotta go.

Mr. Bodek?

Mr. Bodek.

Mr. Rose on the Pillow. Let me see that.

Multiple fractures, internal hemorrhaging.

Mustaches, mustaches.

My anniversary party. Oh, Joe's already there.

My dad's gonna be pissed with my grades.

My favorite toupee!

National Cellulite Contest isn't until next week, okay?

No lip.

No problem.

No, he's not! Trust me. He's gonna die when he sees you.

No, I'm not. I am not.

No, it's $ 12.50. I give you coupon discount.

No, Jesus Christ!

No, no, wait, don't Joe, don't jump to conclusions.

No, no! There's a husband out there who wants to kill me. I wanna retire!

No, not at all.

No, pizza.

No, smell it.

No, you should see these girls. All they do is eat kelp and drink spritzers.

No!

No! Hello!

No! I did it because I had to pay my own tuition.

No! Look, I don't want to sleep with you or date you.

No.

No.

No. Does anybody?

No. He asked me to come here...

No. He's much bigger now.

No. I mean, like, maybe I shouldn't be doing this.

No. No frosty beverage.

No. No. No!

Not a girl, Sal, a woman. A Chanel No. 5 woman

Not for everyone. A privilege.

Not on the plant.

Not over coffee anyway.

Not, not really.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Now look, I've been thinking this over.

Now they don't have to go to the bank or explain mysterious withdrawals.

Now, how did you get my number?

Now, where is your guy? He's in there, huh?

Now, you could just snap your fingers and get any guy you wanted.

Now.

Of course not.

Of course you would.

Oh, 9 grand? Okay, let's see. $4.80 an hour.

Oh, come on. I tried to cover for you. I honestly did.

Oh, dear. Here. Now, wait, look.

Oh, Diane...

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, excuse me. I'm Randy's dad. Nice to meet you.

Oh, excuse me. It's okay.

Oh, Felicia.

Oh, God, it's all my fault.

Oh, God! All those people!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, he outgrew it and thought I might like it.

Oh, I do. I want to major in premed...

Oh, I thought you had the afternoon off!

Oh, Joe! Oh, Joe!

Oh, like who?

Oh, man!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, you're just some Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. You're not?

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no, no, no. It was nothing like that.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Alex.

Oh, Randy's Jenny? I thought you were in Santa Barbara.

Oh, shit! I'm in a red zone.

Oh, shit. Sorry.

Oh, that's great!

Oh, this is a horrible mistake. I'm so

Oh, we're thinking.

Oh, well, thank you. That's very nice of you.

Oh, yeah, right. So you think you're gonna hear from her again?

Oh, you look wonderful. Good enough to go and have some cappuccino.

Okay, Bodek. You're up. Take off.

Okay, hold on.

Okay, I got it.

Okay, let's go!

Okay, okay. Look out! Move over!

Okay, why don't you sit down here.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Take the moon.

Okay. There. What do you think?

One, two, three, four.

One. One, yes.

Onward and upward, right?

Open?

Our son is dressing up in ladies' underwear.

Out... Out back.

Party's over.

Penny for them?

Personal fitness trainer.

Pizza? Looking for the guy who delivers pizza?

Please think about coming over to my parents'...

Please? Please wake up.

Probably one of your old boyfriends. There's the one from Yokohama...

Pussy whipped!

Put it down.

Randy invited me to his parents' party.

Randy, what is wrong now?

Randy?

Randy.

Randy. Really?

Randy's spending the night at a friend's house.

Really.

Right here?

Right in the face!

Right! Bullshit!

Right.

Right.

Sad.

Same here.

Says extra anchovies. Who called it in?

See, everybody flunks that the first time, Dad.

See, I noticed she gets these roses every Tuesday.

See, I wear this for my job.

Seems simple. It's our last night before break.

Señor Pizza, with extra anchovies.

Señor Pizza.

She thought she left a book here.

She's in the hospital!

She's just kind of bitchy, that's all.

She's taking a landscape architecture class.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Shit. You never get treated that way with an Oriental woman.

Since we were in med school.

Since when do you notice that?

Sixteen hour days, two and a half months, no spending money.

Smartest scientists don't understand a billionth of what's going on.

Smile. Oh, so sexy.

So does he still look like that?

So how have you been? It's good to see you. Okay...

So I tried to give them what they missed.

So I'm just supposed to be your secret little boy toy?

So this is the man who stands between us.

So you did these, huh?

So, Alex...?

So, what's the difference?

So?

So? What's going on?

So...

Sold for 200 bucks a pop. And Monica hates pizza.

Some men find it very wilting.

Some of the guys dropped by.

Some woman asked for a large Pizza Loco with extra anchovies...

Some women just have limited perspective, that's all.

Somebody here to see you, son.

Something was up when I saw those old records out.

Son of a bitch!

Son, I think your mother is gonna divorce me.

Son, sorry I'm late, but the traffic was hell out there.

Sorry.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Subjective, huh?

Take it outside! Come on. Come on.

Take me.

Take me.

Tell her Randy's making it with some lady old enough to be my mother.

Tell her why you don't want me to talk to her.

Tell me, tell me. Who is that guy?

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thanks, Alex.

Thanks.

That one's a shoulder. That one is a neck.

That your husband is having affairs? Diane.

That's a bicep, the one with the egg there.

That's good.

That's good.

That's it! Can you play that?

That's the day this joker comes by.

That's the Randy Bodek Scholarship Fund.

That's what marriage is all about, you ask me.

That's...

The first Bodek to graduate from college.

The guys, they just pushed their way in, and

The party's on!

The wife. When she jumped in front of the bus.

Then I bought the crystals.

Then it hit her, Why ruin a good thing?

Then Jory got to her.

Then why didn't you stand up for yourself?

There are a lot of women out there who don't believe in love anymore.

There are no more anchovies. She should go home and forget about it.

There we are.

There. There it is. Right there.

There'll be a record.

There's nobody here yet. We're safe. We're safe.

There's other ways of finding out who your guy is.

There's this song. It goes:

These American women, so cheap and easy. All they say is:

These are beautiful, no? It make you look very handsome.

These pads are very important in this jacket.

These women haven't touched cash in years.

They wanted somebody to make them feel special.

They were nice people. They wouldn't take no for an answer.

They're painting my apartment, and the fumes are

Think he's taken?

This guy was late for work, and he sees his bus leaving the stop.

This I would respect.

This is for me?

This is life for me.

This is the best part right here. Get ready for this.

This time, he admitted he was with hookers.

Those things go off all the time! Face it, Harry. They're junk.

Thought you might want to check out the annual football issue.

Three of them are motels in the Valley.

Tony! Tony! What are you doing here?

Too late. It's on its way.

Took a lot of nerve to go up to a complete stranger and ask her out.

Trespasser! Bad boy!

Trespasser! Trespasser!

Two, three, four.

Very bad! Very bad boy!

Very private.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. The guy in the van had a mustache.

Wait!

Wanna see what he got me for my birthday?

We fight. We fight, and I hit him to the ground. I bite his ear off.

We really need to talk, son.

We talked about stuff.

We're looking at about half of what you need.

We're safe as long as we don't ever let anybody know about this.

We've got to open him right up.

Well, at least my husband has the brains to invent some excuse.

Well, he's not here now. But he was here today, wasn't he?

Well, I can't find anything physically wrong.

Well, I don't think that was a hint.

Well, I gotta save my parents' marriage.

Well, I sure did. Come on.

Well, I'll start my real life.

Well, I'm not a geisha!

Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you said back at school.

Well, it wasn't exactly how I planned to spend my summer.

Well, less expenses, which is...

Well, sure.

Well, thanks a lot.

Well... I mean, that wasn't all we did.

Well... I mean, that wasn't all we did.

What are these Incs?

What are you doing up? Where's Dad?

What are you, chicken? What are you waiting for?

What can I do for you?

What do you think of your lover boy now?

What happened to the wife?

What happened was that he bought it on sale...

What happened, I...

What I could do with you in Rome in two months, Randy.

What?

What? It's great.

What? Oh, she's my bio tutor.

What? Whose?

What's the matter, no dick? Jen throw you out?

What's the story with the coat here?

What's this?

What's wrong, darling?

Whatever you say, Dr. Palmer.

When I was younger in Japan, I had many boyfriends.

Where did you learn this? Never mind.

Where is she? What did she say?

Where you at?

Where you going? Hey, wait a minute. Where you ?

Where's your delivery guy?

Where's your mustache? I want mustaches worn.

Who is this?

Who knows? Right now your name and number could be on every wall...

Who the hell is Darlene?

Who's gonna know?

Whoever he is, he's gonna get his face stomped.

Why does it spin around the Earth?

Why doesn't it just bolt off into space?

Why don't you have something to eat.

Why should he want to come home to this?

Why should I feel stupid because I don't understand women?

Will you ? Okay, bye. Nice meeting you.

Will you?

Wish I could take a bath in the middle of the afternoon.

Wish I knew.

Wrong! It's my husband's beeper.

Yeah, hello, look. I called earlier to order the pizzas with extra anchovy.

Yeah, I guess, I

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I was gonna spend the night alone with Jenny tonight.

Yeah, right. I mean, I don't believe this.

Yeah, some poetry reading wimp.

Yeah, sure, son.

Yeah, well, tell her I'm available, huh?

Yeah, you're probably right.

Yeah! I didn't want to take their money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, I felt you knew how to enjoy yourself.

Yes, ma'am. Absolutely. And thank you very much.

Yes, my marriage. Fourteen years of a big mistake.

Yes, Randy?

Yes, Tony. Yes, Tony.

Yes.

You are not the regular American woman.

You been messing with my wife?

You bitch! Nobody plays with me like that

You cannot not leave. Wait!

You did all this for them?

You do absolutely nothing...

You dropped a...

You finally made it very clear to me where I stand.

You get all that from a cold pizza, man?

You give coupons?

You got some idea what you're doing.

You gotta deliver this to the Wilshire Motel, Room 214.

You gotta tell the woman that you're very sorry.

You guys are robbing my house.

You hate me?

You have been porking my wife!

You have everything going for you. Hey, come on.

You have just saved my life. This guy was...

You have no idea how happy I am to meet you.

You know, all they wanted was a little romance and a little respect.

You know, hey, I cleaned earlier. Yeah, thank you.

You know, I bet he just crashed out on the sofa bed at the office.

You know, I hope everything works out.

You know, I should thank you.

You know, I should thank you.

You know, I've never met a man who shied away from 20 year old girls.

You know, if you learned, I bet your clients would really appreciate it.

You know, Reed hasn't taken me dancing

You know, two can play at this game.

You know.

You look different.

You order it, you pay!

You ready to go? It's good to...

You see, I don't think I can eat the anchovies.

You smiled.

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch!

You told them your roommate's name was Vic.

You work at Avedon?

You would rather have them say no?

You'd rather be barfing with your beer buddies.

You'll never get back to school. I might as well get a hop on it.

You're a terrific person.

You're bumming me out, man.

You're in good hands with Dr. Palmer.

You're Joe Bodek's son!

You're just a boy.

You're my son and I love you, and it's really okay that you're gay.

You're never gonna get it, are you?

You're not my boy toy. I'm gonna tell them.

You're worth every penny.

You've been acting strange for weeks.

You've been too freaking cheerful.

Your mom would've come, but she had a final today.

Your storeroom. How should I know?

Your stud days are over, pretty boy!

Your wife is having an affair?

555 8411.

... $6879.32. Hey, that's not bad.