Friday After Next (2002) Edit

A new Lexus with a banging system

A rent party.

A Team!

A whole lot of ass whipping!

About a yean ago. my Pops quit his dog catching job

About getting they boogie on.

Absolutely.

Actually, it's both of ours.

After you hit that little retarded boy with the fucked up walk.

Ain't but one location. so it's nearest you.

Ain't nobody here.

Ain't nobody here.

Ain't nothin' like that shit.

Ain't nothin', player.

Ain't that...

Ain't this a bitch? I'm waiting on some action to jump off.

All I got to worry about is the rent,

All I want is a fat bitch with a name belt that say ''Glitter'' on it.

All I want, Santa Claus, is two fat bitches and a bag of weed

All right, come here.

All right, don't squeeze hard.

All right, motherfucker, let's go.

All right, there we go.

All right, what's happening?

All right!

All right!

All right.

All right. God!

All right. You ready?

All the money we spent for these. Get your butt out here, man.

All through the 'hood.

And chrome feet on it.

And don't you never forget it.

And get your boogie on.

And got myself an early Christmas present.

And he got our speaker with all our rent money in it.

And I even kept Day Day's dumb ass occupied.

And I keep you safe and I keep you warm,

And I know we gonna make them holler for a dollar.

And I swear to God we're gonna have your money later on tonight

And I told you, I'm a player.

And I'll die for this shit, too.

And I'm about to throw him out on his ass tomorrow.

And I'm gonna let you know, it ain't your booty, it's your beauty.

And I'm gonna let you two bitches in on a little secret

And I'm gonna manage to evict your skinny punk black ass

And I'm the law around here.

And it was your idea to use half the rent money...

And last but not least, this is Lollipop.

And left Santa Claus on the roof for the police to get.

And look at Pops

And me. you know how a player do.

And the bathrooms are jammed.

And this is your booth.

And two bags of chips to give to the fat bitches.

And two years' supply of rolling paper.

And we gonna get real motherfucking acquainted.

And we've been having some problems, obviously, as you see.

And went into business with my Uncle Elroy.

And, Craig, a word of advice you should get a lock on this door.

Another Friday gone. another problem solved.

Another Friday gone. another problem solved.

Any questions?

Anybody else would be living in the French Riviera.

Anybody home?

Anything is possible. All you need is a can of snow.

Anything's better than what I got on.

Anyway, I need to take care of y'all.

As Christmas help security.

As you can see.

As you know, this here is my place.

As you know, we're having a little get together upstairs,

Asshole.

At Bros. B B B Bar B Q.

At the Kentucky Derby with a glue truck behind him.

Aw, damn! They done got a player?!

Aw, shit! The sauce! Move, girl!

Aw!

Away from my family this time of year?

Baby still kicking?

Back to the panty.

Back to work.

Barbecue so good, makes you want to smack your mama.

Be straight, man! Merry Christmas.

Beat his ass!

Beat that ass!

Been jacked by Santa Claus, all kind of shit.

Before I beat that ass.

Being that it's Friday,

Best in the whole world, huh?

Bet you remember Day Day!

Better not let Pinky see that shit. We ought to give it to him, though.

Better than money?

Betty done had your ass pussy whipped for about 30 years!

Bingo! Got more action!

Bingo! I got action.

Bishop Magic Don Juan and Money motherfucking Mike!

Bitch, I ain't hold on!

Bitch!

Black guy, wasn't it?

Bning youn big ass down to Bros. Bar B Q.

Bros. Bar B Q. Tastes so good. make you want to slap youn mama!

Buddy, come on.

Busy right now, working with a monster.

But all they wanted was some mone weed.

But don't you push me, don't you touch me!

But it's just hard.

But trust me. don't even. even. even. even. even. even. even eat there.

But you're security guard, buddy.

But, since we're nice guys, we'll just confiscate this plant,

But. anyway. my Pops got me and Day Day

By Santa Claus on Chistmas Eve.

Calm down.

Can I help you?

Can I tell my story?

Can we get some clothes, 30% off, 40% off?

Can you picture that?

Can't catch me, baby.

Can't just come up in here like that!

Cash...in your hand!

Check this out, man.

Cigarette lighters, some car keys.

Cinnamon, huh?

Code 1 1 32 pimp missing!

Come and get barbecue slapped. Shit.

Come and get barbecue slapped. Shit.

Come back here!

Come on in, Miss Pearly.

Come on out here right now for these kids, Elroy,

Come on out of there, man!

Come on out of there!

Come on, Bill, let's go. I don't see nothing in here I like.

Come on, come on!

Come on, I ain't playin'.

Come on, in the back.

Come on, let's go. Move your big ass!

Come on, man, I gotta call the po po!

Come on, man, let's go.

Come on, noogah!

Come on, player.

Come on, woman.

Come on! Come on! Respect my gangsta!

Come on.

Come on. Keep it real, huh?

Come on. Let's just jump on Moly's car.

Come on. There you go.

Could you please send a unit?

Couple elves packin' the bags.

Cracked ribs, fractured skull, little eye gouge?

Craig and Day Day.

Craig got to fightin' with him, he beat his ass.

Craig, I'm scared, man.

Craig, look who here!

Craig!

Dada. I always wanted me a Dada.

Daddy, do something! What you gonna do?

Daddy, get your ass off that heifer!

Daddy, how I look?

Damn, girl, you eating again?

Damn, he's been in there a long time.

Damn, Pinky! Shit!

Damn, these ****as are broke.

Damn, what happened to her?

Damn, you a better snitch than we is, Uncle Willie.

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn! That's an ugly ass baby. Eyes cocked like a pistol.

Damon!

Dance with me, dance with me. Come on, dance with me.

Day Day, get the hell out of here!

Day Day, this could be our last chance.

Day Day! Day Day!

Day Day.

Did you hear me?!

Did you pee on me?

Did you see what they just did to Moly?

Did your son tell you I said hi?

Didn't I tell you I was gonna fire you if you hit something else?

Dirty bastards.

Dirty sons of bitches!

Dix, I think we got something here.

Do all them things to you

Do it again, do it again. I ain't playin'.

Do something strange for a little piece of change,

Do something! Do something!

Do you dig?!

Do you guys have any idea what we could do to you for this?

Do you know who Ol' Dirty Bastard is?

Dodo! Good job, buddy.

Don't argue with ''no charge.''

Don't be late.

Don't be sorry. Ho, be careful! Lord Je

Don't do it!

Don't give a fuck. That's where I'm pimping, out of the barbecue place.

Don't I know you?

Don't it. Willie?

Don't let nobody hang out in front of liquor store.

Don't let that man pump you up and get your ass shot out here.

Don't mess up the party, Elroy.

Don't nobody get me nothin', anyway.

Don't nobody want all that salt in their potato salad!

Don't she look good?

Don't start trying to outthink me, because you're gonna hurt yourself.

Don't take anybody!

Don't tell everybody!

Done shit on yourself! What you looking at?

Donna, code red.

Donna, get the car.

Donna! Man down! 1 1 30! Pimp in distress!

Dude, I'm not about to touch his nuts or them vise grips.

Dumb ass dog catcher.

Either you fixin' to come see me, or Damon gonna come see you.

Elroy, read my lips you ain't no player!

Elroy's new girlfriend.

Even since he got that whistle around his neck.

Ever since l've been kicking it with you,

Every time I see you, you're talking about the same shit.

Everybody get back!

Everybody, Merry Christmas, noogah, from Pinky, noogah!

Everybody's a suspect today.

Everything is 25% off. Everything must go.

Everything is wonderful. Yeah, boy!

Everything's copastetic, noogah.

Excuse me, sugar, what did you just say?

Excuse me.

Explain yourself now, player.

Extra medium? Extra medium?

Fan as I know. he's still up thene talking shit.

Fine piece, boy.

For about three weeks now.

For one thing, calm down. Slow your roll.

For real?

For shop stealing and stealing everything!

For the second time, y'all got jacked by Santa Claus?

Fractured skull, beat the shit out that motherfucker.

Fractured skull.

Fresh fish on the line, ****a.

Fuck, I'll kill y'all. Take your broke ass home!

Fuck, you remedial!

Get ahold of her, man!

Get back in the house!

Get close to you.

Get him! Kick him!

Get off his dick, Day Day.

Get off my foot!

Get out of here, man!

Get out of here!

Get out of my collard greens and my mustard greens!

Get out of my house!

Get outta here!

Get the fuck out of here!

Get them ****as! Come on, sugars!

Get these pliers!

Get y'all little bad ass mo' over here!

Get your ass out, player.

Get your ass over here. Talk to you for a minute.

Get your damn feet out of my f

Get your scary ass up, man! I know you heard that shit!

Get your tittie off my chin!

Ghetto security guards at that.

Giddy up, pit bull.

Girl, I can't believe you did this! I'm appalled!

Give a ****a a hug, dawg.

Give me a call when you get a chance.

Give me a twister. Make it two. Hold the flies.

Give me flashlights, or we gonna get killed around here!

Give me my goddamn joint.

Give me that, give me that.

Give me the number or get to fucking rolling.

Give me the number, or you can't park here.

Go on down. She'll let you use it.

Go say hello to your grandmother.

Go to hell!

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Go!

Go!

Go!

Go! Go! Go!

God bless you, Mike. Keep your game tight, hear, player?

Goddamn it, C.W., what did you hit?!

Goddamn, Craig!

Goddamn, Day Day.

Goddamn, you fine!

Goddamn, you fine!

Goddamn!

Good kind of ass whipping!

Good, buddy. Merry Christmas, buddy.

Good, you were eating while I was getting beating.

Good. I don't want to see you do the James Brown.

Good. I like boring. Easy money for us.

Got her in my room.

Got his ass!

Got me some weed!

Got my shank in case shit jump off in this motherfucker.

Got no business working.

Got your ass! Turn over!

Guys, y'all have to get dressed. The kids will be here any minute.

Happy Hanukkah. L'claim.

Happy Holidays, Miss Pearly.

Have mercy, Jesus. Forgive me, Lord.

Have to drink a little bit more water. Smell like ammonia in this bitch.

Have you seen our commercial?

Have you, huh? Have you heard it?

He been acting like a neal asshole rent a cop.

He been real brand new today.

He blowin' smoke in our face on the first arrest?

He broke in our house and stole our presents.

He didn't want to blow his whistle, so I blew mine.

He don't look like no reindeer, he look like a pit bull.

He even took Day Day's baby pictures.

He gonna fuck the lining out of Little Prince.

He just went downstairs to use the bathroom

He might do something strange to you, though.

He ran the whole strip mall and owned Holy Moly Donuts.

He robbed a lady in the parking lot last week.

He the one broke in the apartment!

He took my CD collection,

He's a character. Real big character.

He's a funny dressing kind of guy from out of town or something.

He's a project Santa Claus.

He's gonna shoot your ass! Get up against the wall!

He's gonna try and do something strange to us!

He's got problems.

He's in the back. He doesn't want to come out.

He's lying!

He's still breathing. Get your ass back in the car! Oh, noogah...

He's the dick.

Heaven and fuck all that shit!

Hell, got to have something for the skinny ****as.

Hell, no, but thanks for asking. Won't bother asking you, though.

Hell, yeah.

Help me, please!

Help!

Help! Somebody, help me! Help me, please!

Here's my address, Mr. Jones.

Here's my card right here if y'all ever want to be pimped.

Hey, Big Mama, you all right?

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Day Day!

Hey, fool, your woman's freaking with me!

Hey, guys, I hear someone's looking for a job.

Hey, hey, it's good to see you, baby!

Hey, I want everybody back!

Hey, look here, look here.

Hey, them my vise grips, man!

Hey, you know what?

Hey!

His name is Moly.

Ho ho ho, motherfucker!

Ho ho ho, motherfucker!

Hold him, Day Day!

Hold on.

Hold on. Let me hit it one more time.

Hold this for me, baby.

Holiday cheer these nuts. Get back.

Hooked up with her little sister.

How are you?

How she gonna like you when she like me?

How you doing, boy?

How you doing?

How's it going out here so far?

Huh? Huh?

I ain't done shit, but he could have did something about it!

I ain't getting into shit because of you.

I ain't got nothing but 20 funky ass dollars.

I ain't got nothing.

I ain't got to watch shit!

I ain't know no damn reindeer.

I ain't never gonna get no pussy.

I ain't never had that ever happen to me.

I ain't never heard of no policy like that.

I ain't no bad influence on you. I'm the best cousin you've got.

I ain't no grocery store bouncer. I'm a Top Flight security guard.

I ain't playin' with you, noogah!

I ain't seen y'all in about 12 years, ****a.

I ain't the only one they owe.

I am a boy!

I appreciate that.

I bet something bite you in the ass. I'm not going.

I bought them titties!

I calls her ''Cinnamon.''

I calls her Lollipop!

I can talk to people any fucking way I want to,

I can't be everywhere at all times.

I can't even do the James Brown in these pants.

I can't help it! I look better than you do!

I can't move that fast with this stomach.

I caught you, didn't l?

I convinced Donna to bring her fine ass

I could kick your ass for the way you actin' this morning.

I could use some help over here. ln the men's.

I didn't have to take anything. lt was all her. Come on, man.

I didn't know you can make a snowman in 80 degree weather.

I don't care about it getting out of hand.

I don't care about none of that.

I don't even know you, woman!

I don't give a damn 'bout your lazy eye, you Popeye lookin' son of a

I don't know if I can handle another goddamn Friday.

I don't know nothin' about that.

I don't know you, woman!

I don't know. Po pos will get his dumb ass sooner or later.

I don't need no army, Mr. Smart Ass!

I don't really got a girlfriend, you know.

I don't want to dance with none of these hos.

I don't want to talk about that. Y'all ain't gonna catch no damn body.

I got a nice bed, too. Wanna try it?

I got my black ass back in the ghetto.

I got something for you that's better than money.

I got this.

I got to keep it breezy around this bitch.

I got to pee diddy! About to get it on.

I got to piss like a Russian racehorse

I had to! You was always late, fool!

I hate that bitch!

I have to come back there with the flashlight and catch her.

I heard about him.

I heard they call you ''Sweet Dick Willie.''

I hope don't nothing happen all day.

I hope your camel got a ticket outside.

I invited some nice ass girls.

I just appreciate you even blessing me with your presence.

I just spotted you way across from the lot,

I just walked in the store.

I just want you to stop and whip some ass on the way to the station.

I kicked her country ass to the curb.

I know what I'm doing.

I know where you live, too, so I expect everything by tomorrow.

I know you're in there!

I like my fish wet and squirmy.

I like that ****a! I like him!

I like them police right there.

I mean, he got you all the way out here

I mess up all the time.

I ought to hit your ass and give you brain damage.

I ought to shoot your broke ass.

I see you got jokes.

I sure hope they didn't get the rent money

I swear, the first motherfucker get out of hand...

I think I'm gonna pass out.

I thought I was dreaming. You almost drowned me, ****a.

I told you he was sick.

I told you I ain't no freak!

I told you there ain't no future in being a company man.

I tried to fight him, and Day Day...

I usually get rid of them this time of year.

I want a X Box with all the games, all the new gear,

I want to ask a question.

I want you to know who you're talking to, too

I was about to Barry Bonds y'all's black asses!

I was gonna get drunk and watch The Grinch. so I'll be there.

I was just playing with you.

I was little. I was about

I was playing, man, okay?

I was screaming, he wouldn't even help.

I was trying to see if she seen a Santa Claus with a suit on.

I wash on Sundays, anyway.

I wish I hadn't seen you yet.

I would love for her to be one of my wives, huh?

I would've been a boxer, but I was in Special Education.

I'll be right back. Oh, boy!

I'll be with you in just one minute, buddy.

I'll bust a cap right in your fat ass.

I'll call you.

I'll calm your ass down one way or another.

I'll get the address from y'all later. I'll see you later, too.

I'll get the car door.

I'm a nice guy when you get to know me.

I'm calling the police on y'all, fool!

I'm Cookie, the new waitress, and, um...

I'm Craig's daddy Willie Jones.

I'm feeling you, dawg. Trust me.

I'm glad we got our rent money back, baby.

I'm going to make my daily rounds.

I'm gonna bust in your head, boy!

I'm gonna get some.

I'm gonna sue your ass! Come on, cut me!

I'm gonna think of something.

I'm in between a pimp and a hard place.

I'm just playing.

I'm not about to get my motherfuckin' ass kicked over no job!

I'm not big on that.

I'm not no rent a cop, I'm a Top Flight Security

I'm not talking about rent, Willie Jones.

I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I have to go help them.

I'm talking about a busload of them hos if you can.

I'm talking about these nuts!

I'm telling you, I was whooping his ass!

I'm thinking of something right now.

I'm tired of your presence. Dismissed.

I'm trying to go see what that be like right there

I'm trying to park so I can go in the check cashing place.

I'm trying to spread a little holiday cheer,

If we find anything.

It was time to meet our new boss.

Jacked by Santa Claus on Christmas Eve!

Jesus!

Joker, fuck you and your whistle!

Jolly white fat guy, little red suit,

Jumpin' up like you Mr. Get Bad.

Just back me up and do your damn job!

Just be still.

Just do your job, and I'm gonna do mine.

Just keep your rabbit ass mouth shut.

Just sit there and shut up.

Just wait around.

Keep up. Come on. One two, one two, one two.

Keep your voice down.

L...okay.

L...whips...pussy!

L'd like this FUBU sweatshirt with some socks.

Ladies, come on in and say hi to my friend Craig, noogah!

Least I'll feel better then.

Leave them damn kids alone! They ain't messing with you!

Let him go, and there won't be no hard feelings.

Let me check my Palm Pilot.

Let me do my job and you do yours.

Let me get this straight

Let me hit that before Willie bring his old square ass out here.

Let me know, 'cause I got my eyes on everything.

Let me look around a little bit. Dang!

Let them kids pet on you. What's wrong with you?

Let's go on to church, and we gonna pray for these ****as.

Let's jump. Let's jump.

Let's just go before Mike comes busting in on us.

Let's see what I got.

Let's start off with your number.

Lf I build it, the hos will come. Learn from the best.

Lf it wasn't for me, you'd be getting punked all the time.

Lf there's any problems, you just blow. Toot toot!

Lf you see anything suspicious around here...

Like a couple of rent a cops.

Like Bobby Brown in a goddamned Santa Claus suit!

Like I said, he took all of our presents,

Like to dislocated my shoulder.

Listen, it's not what you get, it's how you feel.

Little Lucky Charms, little micro mini pimp.

Little micro mini pimp up in there?

Lntroduce me to your friend, Craig.

Look at him!

Look at that fool. I've got to put a stop to this shit.

Look like I ain't doin' shit.

Look like somebody beat the bricks off your motherfucking ass.

Look like you're ready to tell on somebody right now!

Look, Day Day, we only security guards, okay?

Look, I'm just saying, man,

Look, man, I don't give a shit about you, that party.

Look, that's real pimpin'. Now, that's pimpin'.

Look, we just having a little Christmas party tonight.

Look. Look.

Lord have mercy, I'm tired as a runaway slave.

Ls this the motherfucking thanks I get?

Lt costs more than you do.

Lt is, but it's for medicinal uses only.

Lt's been boring and quiet.

Lt's Christmas! Supposed to be happy!

Lt's cool, dawg, it's cool. Come here.

Lt's good to be home,

Lt's Pimps and Hos some kind of flashy clothing.

Lt's your party, your pliers, his nuts in your hand.

Make your own damn sandwich.

Makes me want to go home and lock up all my shit.

Mama's in the kitchen with the sauce.

Man, get that lined up.

Man, I didn't know!

Man, I know y'all do. Why'd you fire me, Pink?

Man, I think that was a dog, man.

Man, it's just us, Craig and Day Day. Damn!

Man, what did I do?

Man.

Man. I couldn't believe how Day Day was acting.

Matter of fact, watch out.

Maybe even you.

Maybe.

Me

Me and Day Day still had a problem to solve.

Me, neither, but it ain't pretty, I'm sure of it.

Me? 12, buddy.

Merry Christmas, boy!

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.

Merry Christmas, ****ettes.

Merry Christmas.

Messing with these kids' heads with this white man's holiday.

Might want to shave. Might want to shave somebody else!

Miss Peanly kept on hating on us.

Miss Pearly, you ain't right, trying to give my daddy V.D.

Miss Pearly.

Moly, you got knocked the fuck out!

Mother!

Move, Day Day!

Move, Day Day!

Move, move, move!

Move, move, move!

Move, move, move!

Move!

Mr. Jones?

My brother said if a pit bull locks his jaws like that,

My life has been a shambles, dude.

My name is Day Day, right? This is my big head ass cousin.

My name is Money Mike, player. How you doing?

My uncle got drunk and eventually passed out.

Nah, nah, let him through.

Nah, wait a minute! I started this barbecue shit!

Nah. This was a ****a that did this.

Never know what I might need this for.

Never know.

Next time, I'm gonna shoot you in the one that's winking,

****a, I'm Santa Claus. Where's the milk and cookies?

No charge.

No Christmas ham in here. Nothing.

No guns. You are Top Flight unarmed security guards.

No hard feelings about what happened out at the shop.

No hard feelings?

No problem. Thanks for inviting us.

No, I don't want to get bit in the ass.

No, I'm not playing. You better not park!

No, it ain't!

No, no, no

No, no, no!

No, not the Rolie.

No, Santa.

No, you ain't sick no more.

No!

No!

No!

No? Well, this ain't the Baby Gap.

No.

No. Come on in.

No. I'm sick of ribs.

No. Nothing like it.

No. Pertaining to what?

No. You're a bad ass influence on my life.

Nobody got me pussy whipped.

Nobody, buddy.

Nobody.

Nobody's gonna hit you.

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Not enough to pay his fucking rent. I have enough trouble paying my own!

Not me.

Not on duty. Not on duty!

Not the one that stink!

Nothing! He stayed asleep the whole time.

Nothing! I'm counting money at the register.

Now it's a ''stoley.'' Looking like a Mississippi pimp.

Now you hold on till I get in the car.

Now. willie everybody was just worried

NYPD Blue. none of that shit you watch.

O.G. triple, triple...O.G.?

Officer A. Hole and B. Dix.

Oh, fuck this.

Oh, good observation, buddy. Where were you, buddy, huh?

Oh, he's a cutie pie.

Oh, hell, no, Willie!

Oh, hell, no!

Oh, hey, and when we find St. Nick,

Oh, I got it, I got it!

Oh, just what I needed so bad.

Oh, Lord, where the hell is Donna?

Oh, man, thanks for coming through, man.

Oh, man!

Oh, Miss Pearly. Hmm...

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no, not anymore. You're both fired.

Oh, no, player!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shut up, Elroy.

Oh, snap.

Oh, that ****a look magically delicious, ****a.

Oh, that's Money Mike.

Oh, this is bullshit.

Oh, yeah, show him what you're working with.

Oh, you dreaming. This a wet dream.

Oh! What's cracking, baby?

Okay, and over here, this is a liquor store.

Okay, go, go. Come on.

Okay.

Okay. Over here is the Chrome Dome.

On our first week's pay?

On the count of three

One at a time, player, one at a time.

One more time, let me hit it, man!

One said they was gonna suck my dick from the back.

Or somebody getting their salad tossed tonight!

Or you and I are gonna fight!

Out of here today if you two motherfuckers don't pay up your rent.

Over $1 million.

Over at Miss Pearly's, the landlady.

Pay attention!

Perm and shit.

Phone books? ****a, I ain't even in the phone book.

Pimp down! Pimp missing in action!

Pimpin', pimpin', pimpin'!

Pimping ain't easy but can I help you, player?

Player!

Player. Player!

Police running in and out! What the hell is going on?

Praise God.

Praise God.

Prance your ass over and let them kids pet on you.

Prance! Look, like this.

Prime time.

Puff puff and give, motherfucker.

Put everything in my mom's name.

Quickly, now, quickly. Got a business to run.

Relax, homey, ain't nothin' about to jump off in here.

Remember, Christmas Eve means lots of shoppers.

Remember, you guys are Top Flight security guards,

Rent a cops get pussy, too.

Rent money!

Represent for your mama. That's what I'm talking about.

Right here is one of my little Spice Girls.

Run, Day Day! Run!

Run!

Santa Claus got my Rolex! Let's get him!

Santa Claus strikes again.

Santa Claus up here, grabbing me some wallets,

Say it again!

Say it with me, guys ''Holy Moly Donut Shop.''

Say, noog! This is Pinky, noogah! Look, I got to go pee pee!

Security! You need to turn in your damn whistle!

See you later.

See, the clothes don't make the player,

See, the thing is, we just opened up around here,

Shake it! Shake it!

She been on Soun Train. noogah!

She fine.

She liked me anyway, didn't you?

She liked me, didn't she?

She's still having blackouts and blurred vision.

Shit, just leave.

Shit, man! That's bullshit, man.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! Not just the city, the world!

Shit.

Should be a law against people with guts like mine.

Show up here tonight without that rent money,

Shut the fuck up!

Shut up, bitch!

Shut up! Give me the watch!

Shut up! What the hell you talking about?

Shut up! What you got, toothpick?

Shut up! You better stop talking to me like that.

Shut your little filthy mouth!

Simple as that.

Since you got a lot of money in your man purse,

Since you've been here many times, I'm gonna make it short and sweet.

Sit here and wait for something to happen.

Sneaky son of a bitch.

Sneaky son of a bitch.

So after Pops and Unc argued for another 15 minutes.

So either I'm gonna get my rent money today,

So how much do you really love your boy?

So how the fuck was I gonna hear it?

So that's your little midget boyfriend?

So we looked them up.

So what happened after that?

So what we gonna do, man?

So what? Just deal with it. I got to.

So what? Me, too.

So, Craig, you gonna still have the party tonight?

So, what brings you to California

Some L.A.P.D. shit.

Somebody broke in and stole all our stuff.

Somebody go get my mother!

Somebody, help me, please!

Somebody, help me, please!

Someone call 91 1 !

Sons of bitches! You don't know who you're fucking with!

Sorry, buddy. Reaction.

Speaking of cockroaches, where was your antennas

Starch or press?

Starch, ****a!

Stay right there.

Sure ain't!

Sure has been a lot of work today, player.

Take her! Let me go! Come on!

Take it all. One, two, get up, three.

Take it with us until we find this Santa Claus character.

Take your go over there.

Take your ass back downstairs, 'cause you ain't evictin' nobody

Take your time.

Tasha, how we look?

Tell your fine daddy I said...

Ten more minutes before Christmas.

Ten more minutes. That's what I'm talking about.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for inviting me. I appreciate it.

That ain't even necessary.

That ain't prancin'. lt ain't Easter.

That ass is got. Come on!

That boy can take a fall!

That bullshit security.

That eggnog about to kick back up on me.

That means you're not gonna see a judge till possibly Monday.

That shit is boring, man.

That that's

That victim shit is way overblown.

That was a monster Why it so dark in here, baby?

That was like The Matrix!

That was Pinky's limo.

That way, you ain't got to buy them shit.

That, um...

That'll be quite enough. Thank you so much.

That's a barbecue card.

That's all you gotta do, just burn a pimp one time.

That's been harassing my grandmother and things.

That's bullshit.

That's bullshit. My people skills are way better than yours.

That's check cashing. No l.D. required.

That's Donna. She's the owner's girlfriend.

That's enough damn salt there, Willie.

That's enough! Calm down!

That's fucked up, man.

That's fucked up, too.

That's how it's going. Donna, get the door.

That's how we players roll!

That's my people, man! That's my folks.

That's my woman you're dancing with.

That's not how we do it!

That's right off Manciesten.

That's right, baby.

That's right!

That's right.

That's right.

That's right.

That's right. Whatever y'all do, make it quick.

That's some good shit, right?

That's the only way we're gonna be able to communicate.

That's the reason we got jacked in the first damn place.

That's till my moms walked in on him.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

That's when I came up with the perfect idea

That's where I put my hoof down. Ain't nobody pettin' on me!

That's why I asked your ass for them two flashlights.

That's why I hate the fuckin' law!

That's why they ain't gonna catch us.

That's why they ain't paid their damn rent!

That's why they ain't paid their damn rent!

That's, uh, that's Donna.

The lady will let you use it downstairs, the landlady.

The player make the clothes.

Them young thugs don't come out till about 1 :00 or 1 :30.

Then I caught him. I hit him, like, four times.

Then what happened?

There we go. About time.

There you go.

There's a loud party upstairs that's keeping me up.

There's a loud party upstairs that's keeping me up.

There's gonna be ball juice everywhere!

These are my boys.

These fools knock the hell out of me...

These fools went down the alley!

These guys are here all the time. They come running.

These guys!

Thesejobs at the same strip mall

They ain't supposed to just be hazel, they supposed to do some damn work!

They call him the ''Santa Clause Crook.''

They call him the ''Santa Clause Crook.''

They coming. I just pray to God I'm here when they come.

They gonna fuck for a buck,

They gonna kick our ass when they catch us.

They need security in the world, Craig!

They only had enough money for a 15 second spot.

They opened up a spot called Bros. Barb B Q.

Think last year at this time, you had won the Lotto,

Think about what your mama would say.

This ain't for play. I don't do this for fun.

This ain't funny, ****a. I'll bitch slap your ass.

This Barney Fife shit.

This can't be happenin', this can't be happenin'.

This child is filthy!

This Damon. He live downstairs.

This gonna be good right here. I'm so hungry.

This is a job, man. This ain't an adventure.

This is Mo' Wet.

This is my young girl Donna. Say hi, woman.

This is Officer Brian Dix. I'm Officer Alvin Hole.

This is real, and I'm gonna let you know, I'm not having it.

This is Top Flight Security. We ain't no rent a cops.

This one here is a brand new store.

This shit gonna stop one day, dude.

This shit hurt.

This shit is uncomfortable, man. Can't even move in here.

This way.

This, of course, is your family business, Bros. Bar B Q.

Top Flight motherfucking security!

Top Flight!

Tupac. Tupac, Tupac!

Turn around!

Two German shepherds.

Two new guys Clyde and Dodo.

Two pieces of bologna. Yeah, baby.

Uh, Damon, are you a music lover?

Uncle Elroy gonna beat the shit out of 'em!

Unit 415. man in the middle of the street.

Unless you got a motherfucking army with you.

Up against the wall!

Very good. You get one free bear claw every lunch break.

Wait a minute, bitch! I ain't no killer, you understand me?

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

Wake your ass up!

Wake your bitch ass up, Lucky Charms.

We ain't Cops. we ain't America's Most Wanted.

We ain't never gonna get no pussy in these clothes.

We ain't no damn Top Flight security of the world!

We ain't stole shit!

We are security guards.

We are security. Ain't that a bitch?

We can make your Christmas worse than it already is.

We can sit and watch these females shop till they drop.

We can sit down and wait for him in here.

We can't cancel the party, man! What about the hos we had coming?

We Craig and Day Day, so just kick back, relax

We didn't even cane. We kept on partying.

We doing a little kick in party, so I'm gonna need you to kick in.

We gonna have our Christmas party?

We got to care about each other.

We had to show y'all some love after what y'all did for us at the store.

We have ladies' wear, too.

We just got jacked by Santa Claus! He almost tied us up and fucked us!

We just got robbed, Cheeco.

We just got this job! How you gonna fire us?

We made a mistake. Day Day ran in and jumped on Daddy!

We miss you down there!

We ought to be celebrating Kwanzaa, anyway.

We something like them.

We start our new job today,

We the victims, man.

We Top Flight security of the world, Craig!

We'll call you...

We'll let you know if anything develops.

We're supposed to get handcuffs, flashlights, taser guns

Weed!

Wejust took oun stuff back to the panty

Well, get that lined up, too, first, bitch!

Well, it ain't gonna stop today, so light it up

Well, look next time! Use your eyes!

Well, well. Whose is this?

Well, what you talking about, Miss Pearly?

Well, you can always buy your girlfriend something.

Wet dream? Wait a minute, I'm a pimp!

What about them rent a tits?

What about this?

What am I doing way out here,

What are we gonna do with that fool?

What are you about to do, pray or something?

What are you looking for?

What did he look like?

What did you do, Day Day?

What do y'all want us to do to him, you know?

What else did he get?

What happened to the last guards that worked here?

What happened to the other two sec

What happened with the last two security guards?

What if I tried to get a lock right now and just

What in the hell done happened to the mail?

What is it, buddy?

What kind of stuff y'all sell in here?

What the fuck wrong with you?

What the hell is going on around here?!

What the hell you doin' in my house

What the hell you doing to me?

What the...

What they know about that?

What were you doing in the alley, anyway?

What you doing? Get back!

What you looking at before I shoot you in your mouth?

What you looking at, old man? Mind your own fuckin' business.

What you need to do, man, is grab one of these females

What you say? Damn.

What you think?

What, you don't like the flashlight look?

What's cracking? My name's Craig.

What's happenin'? Oh, yeah. I'm good in a crisis. Hold on.

What's happening?

What's up O.G., triple O.G.?

What's up, dawg?

What's up, O.G., triple O.G.?

What's up?

What's up? How's business?

What's wrong with y'all? Y'all should get married.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? You tripping!

Whatever.

When are you gonna ask him for an advancement

When them ****as were stealing my shit out the store?

When we get our guns?

When you see them, you tell them we said this...

When you spend 12 years on a level 4 prison yard,

Where did your father go?

Where them rent a cops at, huh?

Where they give you more sauce than meat?

Where was you when he was beatin' my ass with that tree?

Where you going, Mama?

Where you think you going?

Where your bathroom at, player?

Where's your flashlight at? You're supposed to have one.

Which one of you bitches want to wash my drawers tonight?

Whip his ass, Mama!

Who is that?

Who is that?

Who the fuck are you?

Whodini. You know Who

Whoever catch the girl back there giving head behind the trash can?

Whoo, Lordy!

Why are you in so much competition with me?

Why don't you and your lady come or hang out with us and our folks?

Why don't you go get me something to drink, please?

Why every time you get a little position of power,

Why you always bring your ass up here harassing us?

Why you always got to be a hero, man?

Why you always playing with her all the time?

Why you boys beating up on Santa Claus?

Will you shut up? Prance your ass over there!

Willie, get your ass off that heifer!

Wishful thinking.

With that big ol' wolf pussy?

With this little half a Prince motherfucker?

Y'all argue too much!

Y'all didn't hear me blowing this whistle?

Y'all get the hell out of my house!

Y'all going to jail!

Y'all got the game messed up! Huh? You gonna steal from a pimp?

Y'all hos got to get off this corner with that!

Y'all look good in your little tight ass rent a cop outfits.

Y'all movin' on and take that shit

Y'all must not know what happened to the last security guards.

Y'all ****as don't know who you're fucking with!

Y'all stick around here. Yeah, boy!

Y'all tired of that barbecue from up the street.

Y'all trying to use the Lord to sell pussy on this corner.

Yeah, boy!

Yeah, feel like twins.

Yeah, he got the rent money. All of it.

Yeah, he just went through there on the side.

Yeah, I roll to the club just like this, baby.

Yeah, let's get his ass, Craig!

Yeah, okay, okay.

Yeah, pimping!

Yeah, right there.

Yeah, that's his nuts, too. You can have them both back!

Yeah, there it is.

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, y'all do, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah. All of them freaks, too, huh?

Yeah. boy. Hey. Mama.

Yeah. Want me to show you?

Yes, baby, I'm a bad mother.

Yes, I do, buddy.

Yes, very attractive.

Yo, Big Pimpin', can you hide us?

Yo, dang, man, what's up with that?!

Yo, dang, man, what's up with that?!

Yo, homey, you ever been to the pen?

Yo, it's right through there.

Yo, Moly! I heard you hired two security guards

Yo, what's up, O.G., triple O.G.,

Yo, yo, player, hold up.

Yoo hoo!

You abuse your authority?

You ain't about to do nothin'.

You ain't gotta do this. You just mad 'cause

You ain't never met a Top Flight security ****a like me!

You ain't Paul! You a ****a that steals!

You almost made me catch a heart attack!

You are not in prison anymore, Damon!

You are supposed to be tough guys. You don't need gadgets, huh?

You are talking to children of the Lord.

You are? Good. Have you ever heard of The Nutcracker?

You ask too many questions, man. lt's time to get to work.

You become quite fond of little ol' girls like yourselves.

You best check on the sauce. Mama's out on her feet again.

You better fire this up!

You better get your ass outta here!

You better watch your little filthy mouth.

You better!

You boys look really good with your rent a cop outfits on.

You burned the sauce again. Give me the spoon.

You can come to the store anytime you want.

You can get your ass kicked around here real quick.

You can go to jail for some shit like that, for real.

You can lead a ho to water, player, but you can't make 'em think.

You can't park right here because there's a new policy.

You can't talk to people like that. That's somebody grandmama, fool!

You can't talk to these old ass ladies like that!

You come here all the time smelling like that.

You didn't even hear what happened,

You dig what I'm sayin'?

You dig?

You don't know nothing about being a player.

You don't understand. lt's not that easy.

You don't.

You done hit Santa Claus!

You feel me?

You gave it to me to smoke!

You gonna know a bullet in your ass! This all you got?

You gonna make me blow this. I'll clear all this shit out with this.

You gonna treat people right, talk to people right.

You got a big pile of dog shit in the middle of your bed.

You got a lot of balls!

You got a nice room here. Pretty clean for a bachelor.

You got another one? You're gonna catch something!

You got cars, they got rims.

You got her trained, ****a, damn!

You got knocked the fuck out!

You got out last night?

You got some condoms?

You got that look in your eye.

You got to recognize the difference between the police

You gotta stop talking to the police like that.

You guys ready for tour of property?

You have to defend this whole place with your own life.

You heard me what I said. Y'all hos got to move off this corner.

You heard what happened to the last security guards.

You heard what Mr. Moly said.

You invited me to this party, ain't that right?

You jealous, Willie.

You keep your timid ass here. I'm going to get my shit.

You know damn well you got all the rubbers in your

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? I got a little razzle dazzled.

You know what?

You know what?

You know what? Don't hate...appreciate.

You know what? Don't pay no attention to Day Day.

You know, all that ''my hair retain heat.''

You know, I ask myself that same question.

You know, I want to do some things to you

You know!

You know. he showed his ass till the po pos came.

You know. he's still getting chased by Damon

You like 'cause your son is a fag?

You little shrimp motherfucker.

You lost your mind? What the hell?!

You might want to check that out.

You might've missed it.

You might've seen the commencial.

You need to work on your people skills.

You remember what we did to the last security guards?

You remind me of a young ****a fucking with the wrong old ****a!

You remind me of them old players that be clubbing with young girls.

You see that mother?

You should have kept Sugar's nasty ass. What happened?

You should never have let her into the commercial, anyway.

You smart as a motherfucker today.

You so cute.

You sure you don't want to just, like, lean back?

You talk too damn much!

You the greenest little troll I ever seen!

You thought I was play pimping, didn't you?

You tied tongued dog catcher!

You two motherfuckers huddle up or something and find this dude.

You want us to bring some ribs tonight?

You wanted to grab somebody, you should've grabbed that ****a!

You was just gonna take it, wasn't you? Hmm?

You're a fool.

You're a trip.

You're back here cooking pigs' feet with me

You're costing me money, C.W.

You're gonna give me some of this dick today!

You're gonna watch your temper

You're grown up now, though.

You're just mad 'cause I'm always on the...

You're not gonna be punking me when we get 40.

You're positive he was dressed like Santa Claus?

You're pushing the wrong buttons.

You're supposed to be security guard, no?

You're the one gave her a concussion, Willie.

You've got to shine some damn body!

You've lost your mind since Willie slapped you.

Your oldest grandson. The smart one, not Day Day.

Your son Craig ain't paid his rent this month,

15837 South Crenshaw Boulevard.

A FUBU short set? You don't need shit.

And Craig let him do it! Why, Craig?

Bye bye. Bring that car back here!

Calm down. I'm calm.

Can I help you? Yo, move!

Can you hear me now? Yeah.

Check it out! Better than money?

Check over there. Come on.

Come on and get them! Dude, I think

Come on out of there! Pop, what's the matter?

Come on, guys. Come on, come on.

Come on! What?

Could you just let me go? Say something.

Craig, my leg is hurtin', man. Good!

Craig! Day Day! Uncle Willie!

Damn! Damn!

Digging it. Good, good.

Don't just stand there. Help me. Shit! How?

Eye gouge, that's the shit. And an eye gouge.

Fight what shit? Let it happen.

Get this piece of shit out of here! He's just playing.

Give him his whistle, Craig. Go on and blow that!

Go check out the bedrooms. Sure.

Group hug, ****a. Come on, Craig.

He pulled out a pistol... Dodo, you on crack, buddy?

Here we go. One... On your balls...

Hey, man, just let it go. Get your goddamn hands off me!

Hey! What?!

I can't breathe, I swear to God! He can't breathe!

I can't let you back there. Why? Who back there?

I cook better than you. You can't.

I didn't see them take anything. You didn't see 'em take anything.

I had already taken it out. Well, it was full!

I see you got jokes. A couple.

I'm cool, dawg. Good.

I'm gonna beat the Shit!

I'm gonna do my job. No problem.

I'm Santa. Bullshit! You Mr. Jones.

Just scoot over there. You scoot over, man!

L'claim! Take your flies!

l've got one question. What's up, buddy?

Later, Moly. Okay, buddy, take care.

Let's just go to lunch. Let's go. I'm hungry.

Light the shit. We are not little no more.

Like a damn snitch! Man, that's cold!

Little punk ass bitch. Y'all fuck and make puppies.

Lollipop is all mine. All right. That's cool.

lt's small in here. No, you're big in here.

Mike. Mike! Get back!

My dick is bigger than yours. lt was cold that night.

New booty? Don't fight the shit.

Oh, damn! What's wrong with you, fool?

Oh, yes, you are. No, I'm not.

Open the door! Let's do this! Put down the b b b b barbecue.

Remember what Damon said. You remember what I said.

See that eye right there? Little shot of gonorrhea, see?

Shit. No problem.

Should I tell him or you? Let's both tell him.

Sit your ass down! Who got the rent money?!

Take lunch, one half hour. That's cool right there.

Take your stinky ass whistle! Good, Dodo. Now it's dirty.

Thanks. You, too, Clyde.

That ain't nothin' you like? You going to jail, Cicely Tyson.

That boy, he just a fool. You know what?

That wasn't nothing. Dumb ass, let's go.

That'd be him. Him.

That's Donna. Hi. Merry Christmas.

That's him! Let's get that mother!

That's what I heard. I swear, man.

Three! Go!

Top Flight! Get his ass, Day Day!

Turn over your whistles. We need to be whipping his ass now.

Uh, Craig? Yeah.

Watch out! Watch out! Slow down!

We saw that shit! Saw what?

What about our rent money? No charge.

What about walkie talkies? And flashlights?

What does that mean? Retarded!

What the fu Hey, buddy!

What your ass doing over here? You know what I'm doing over here.

Whatever. Yeah, yeah.

Where is it? Right through here.

Where's it at? Down the hall.

Whip him! Just give me the whistle.

Whip his ass, daddy! I'll sue you.

Who are you? lt's Craig, Mama.

Who Craig? Don't worry about it.

Who do you think you are? What's your problem? Move!

Who, me? Yeah!

Why blame me? 'Cause you did!

Yes, you are! Bullshit.

Yo, Day Day. What's up?

You ain't got to calm me down. Fire that up.

You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

You don't even own the place! You just the manager.

You funny, huh? I'm not trying to be funny.

You ready? I'm not going in there, man.

You were supposed to be acting. I should have smacked you!

You're gonna sit in the car. Do your fucking job!

...crime whistle!

...got Daddy's Rolex.

...no parking spot, okay, 'cause I'm married!

...three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel!

''I'm a Lotto stud. Lotto fucking stud.''

''Tastes so good. make you wanna slap youn mama. ''

'cause in the prison, dawg, ain't nothin' but the fellas, ****a.

'Cause she hadn't seen me yet.

'cause these cockroaches would've cleaned me out.

'cause you know how little timid you are.

'cause you two ****as been ducking and dodging me

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

[SlLENTLY] Call me.

# And heaven and nature sing... #

# Bad boys! What you gonna do? #

# Crunching on your balls in a one horse open sleigh... #

# Dashing through these hos in a one horse open sleigh... #

# Freaks come out at night, what, what, what? #

# Freaks come out at night... #

# Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some pimping in it #

# Joy to the world, the Lord is come #

# Let every heart prepare him room #