Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) Edit

A desperate man needs a replacement daughter.

A thing like that can't.

About dream girls, he doesn't care. I mention the underwear thing...

Admit it, dude, you got it in you.

Age 16, she split.

Ah, yes, of course. You're Dabney's golden boy from back East.

All right, first things first. You've gotta ditch that car.

All right, guys, cast list.

All right, this looks good up ahead. Time to lose the luggage.

All right?

All right.

Along comes a girl, Harmony's sister.

Ames. Allison Ames.

An old man that can't defend himself.

And for 39.99 we'll carpet up to three rooms in half the time.

And for the record, it was the boyfriend, the guy from Paris.

And Harry....

And I have this thing where, like halfway in the middle, I just...

And it goes Well, this is funny.

And stop picking at that, it'll just get worse.

And that little experiment will end in tears, my friend.

And the plots, they all have this thing, this formula that was so cool.

And then the guy writing the books died.

And there it was. Bingo.

And we didn't mean to. And it didn't last long, you know.

And you? How about it, filmgoer?

And, not to be picky, but it was Harold the Great.

Any questions, hesitate to call.

Any undergarments. It's important.

Anyhow, so....

Anyone home?

Anyone home? I got an injury problem. Hello.

Anyway, that's how I got to the party.

Are we slowing down?

Are you a detective?

Are you aware of giving your number to Miss Lane recently?

Are you familiar with a woman by the name of Harmony Faith Lane?

Are you gonna help me, Harry?

Arriving passengers from flight number 758 from Denver...

As the years progressed, she wished he was real.

Asshole.

Aurelio, give Mr. Van Shrike a little pat down.

Aurelio, why don't you give the kid a break?

Badly is an adverb. To say you feel badly says that the mechanism...

Beat up on me all night. You want me to give up my partner, you can go spit.

Because you're new here.

Because, you know, it's, like, the end.

Before we do this...

Before you get me and Harry killed.

Between Oh, God, nix, nix. That's

Big tough guy.

Bingo. All right. All right, Harry.

Bitch client.

Bobby Mills.

Boils down to this:

Boo. Scat. Fat lady, leave.

But my sister sent you up to Big Bear Lake, to his cabin.

But the night had other plans for me.

But the point is, in this case, this time, it really happened.

But we know why you gotta do it down there.

But whatever, he's creepy. Fuck him. Don't worry about him.

But while it lasted, brother...

By now you may wonder how I wound up here, or maybe not.

Bye, have a better night.

Bye.

Call me. If I'm right, you'll shit.

Caller specified room 714, some sort of brawl or something. Violent.

Came here from the future. Ugly sucker. Only says, Ficus.

Captain Fucking Magic.

Catch. That's the credit card my sister used to hire you.

Check out Doris and Lucinda over here.

Chloe, just run the name by me one more time...

Chook Chutney? Yeah, he's gay.

Come here, you fuck.

Come here.

Come on, breathe.

Come on, Harry, stay with me.

Come on, I was a different person back then.

Come on, remember? You were Amazing Harry

Come on, that's a big deal.

Come on, we gotta go. They're coming back around. Harmony's down there.

Come on!

Cool! This stopped the bullet, Harry.

Copyright infringement, she'd get fired. It's a Jonny Gossamer movie.

Could I have a Jack and soda? Thanks.

Cover him up. I'll get the car.

Cyber Agent. C Y B E Why don't you ask...

Dabney wants you to take detective lessons.

Dabney, he unearths a discovery. New kid, works for cheap.

Damn it, I threw it in the lake.

Damn it. This robot bit. I made a big deal, then I forgot.

Destiny.

Detective lessons tomorrow.

Detective. Sorry. I should've said something, but she wouldn't shut up.

Dexter didn't murder your sister.

Didn't really turn out the way we hoped, did it?

Do I know you?

Do not ask me how I did B.

Do this: Wrap up the body in a blanket, a sheet, anything.

Do you get this? Your case and my case are the same fucking case.

Do you know the cops are looking for you, Harry?

Do you remember when we were real little...

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Don't blame yourself. Listen...

Don't bother asking Harmony out on your date.

Don't go. Please.

Don't start, Perry, huh?

Don't steal any more shit.

Don't talk to Reggie, he's black.

Don't worry, I saw the last Lord of the Rings.

Drop the gun. We didn't do anything. We are not dangerous. Drop the gun.

Enough! Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never been with a man.

Evening. Harry.

Except for the boner. That's not too knightly.

Fact is, she stole not only your credit card, but your ID.

First the old father, now the shiny new one.

Flies him out here, high profile, parties...

For a reason? Fuck that.

For all of you good people in the Midwest...

For chrissake, who are you protecting? It's all over. Dexter is going down.

Forget it.

Freeze!

Frolicking in the lake together. What is that?

From the looks of it, she spilled some.

Fuck it, I'm not a knight. I'm sorry.

Fuck off !

Fuck off. Was there a gun?

Fuck you.

Fuck, bad narrating. Like my dad telling a joke.

Fuck. For chrissake, Harry, it was forever ago.

Gee, you think maybe it'll come back later, maybe?

Genaros.

Genaros. Pure drinking pleasure.

Gentlemen, let's wrap it up and get out of here.

Get Gay Perry on the phone.

Give me the address. I'm coming.

Go away, Mr. Fly.

Go home before something bad happens to you.

Go home before the bad guys do something bad to you.

Go. Sleep badly.

God, Harry, where are you going with this?

God, Harry. Shit, if I leave the keys, can you take yourself to the hospital?

God, I'm sore.

God, what did they do to her face?

God, you just tore up my fucking finger! I just got this fixed. Jesus!

God, you just tore up my fucking finger! I just got this fixed. Jesus!

God. No, wrong throat, wrong woman. That's bad.

Good.

Great. No wonder. Ma and Pa Kettle. I got an idea.

Half those guys are straight. Perfect fathers, love their kids.

Hard to believe it was last Christmas...

Hardest thing I ever did.

Harmony Faith Lane was your typical L.A. girl, she wasn't from there.

Harmony ignored this. She knew better. I mean, who the hell was he?

Harmony Lane shot herself, sir.

Harmony was right, her sister was murdered.

Harmony!

Harmony!

Harmony!

Harmony's in trouble. Get dressed.

Harmony's sister.

Harold, use your awesome might to save me from this hopeless plight.

Harold.

Harold...

Harry from New York.

Harry Lockhart, are you gonna recognize me or what?

Harry, come back.

Harry, don't listen to a word he says, all right? We're getting somewhere.

Harry, listen

Harry, seriously, if you're at all uncomfortable...

Harry, stop.

Harry, this is our generous host, Harlan Dexter.

Harry?

Harry?

Harry.

Harry.

Have you solved the case of the dead people in L.A.?

He did, Harry. That's why he's cremating the body.

He just asked a carpet cleaning service to save him.

He means when you say, Picture it inside your head...

He pays me to insulate him from corpses.

He was just a writer.

He was right in front of us, then he cut in Where is he?

He wrote it for money, and it was bullshit.

He's 20 years younger, but that's Harlan Dexter.

He's as good as a fog light or whatever.

He's bigtime. Also, he's gay.

He's got no questions. Look at him. Let's go.

He's Mustard. I'm Mustard, baby.

He's read them all. They're in his house. Plus, he was in that piece of shit...

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Help me! Help me!

Her kid sister hired you.

Hey, do you know that blond gal who just left?

Hey, Flicka. Hey, it's me, Harry.

Hey, good luck.

Hey!

Hey! Say that name again.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey!

Hi, it's me. You hear anything?

Hi, thank you for coming.

Hi.

Hi. How are you doing tonight?

Him.

Hires me, has me witness a murder.

Holy shit.

Homophobes never check there.

Honey, all right. Relax, relax, relax. Okay, relax.

How about you? Did your father love you?

How are you?

How could she be here and meanwhile, she's out having parties?

How did I get here? See for yourself.

How I was the one she confided in.

How seeing Harmony made me think of her?

I am going nuts here. I can't stop thinking about this.

I bet there's a doctor in New York, clear that shit right up.

I call my trick The Jaws of Death.

I can't believe that that's the reaction that

I can't get to my car. We're near Olive and the freeway. Can you pick us up?

I did...

I didn't want him to come in on it. He insisted.

I don't know about that. I can say...

I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.

I don't know if you want to see it now, but here's the fucking robot stuff.

I don't make that leap. It's like, Look, there's an elephant. Quick...

I don't want to put this on you...

I don't want you to offer it as Not, It's a courtesy freebie.

I forgot to tell you, Harmony's alive. She thinks her sister was murdered.

I got 5 bucks says you could still get him.

I got priors in New York, so I can't be messing around

I got two quarters harmonizing on Moonlight in Vermont.

I gotta follow some chick around till midnight. Do not play detective.

I gotta go.

I guess if I racked my brain, I could think of worse places to be.

I guess it's better than calling him Knighty.

I hate that. A TV's on, talking about the new power plant.

I have to go.

I hear it's a recommended cheeseball hangout.

I heard about you. You're the whatchamacallit, the consultant.

I heard. It was neck and neck, and then she skipped lunch.

I hope you don't judge Los Angeles based solely on your experience tonight.

I just got back. I was in the Hills all day. Shitty reception.

I just had a weird thought.

I just needed a ride. Sorry, I swear a lot.

I just saw your really distinctive ears.

I killed him, didn't I?

I know Dexter was facing ruin. I even know he switched daughters.

I know this is outrageous and not normal.

I know you said that there was gonna be consequences, but fuck.

I know, I know. I've

I know. Who?

I loved my girl.

I mean, are you the kind of girl who like, you know...?

I mean, physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950s.

I mean, shit, why not bring them all back.

I mean, what kind of talk is that?

I needed a hot bath, a warm bed.

I never did that before.

I prefer Genaros, but what do I know? I'm a bear. I suck the heads off fish.

I prefer Genaros.

I prefer Genaros. But what do I know? I'm a bear.

I quit. This is not being a detective. Corpses floating in lakes...

I really didn't need that last shot of tequila.

I remember him now. 1980. Oh, my God, I saw him like this.

I remember only lying to her one time.

I said goodbye...

I said to her:

I said, Stay at home. But he doesn't listen. He's such a stupid son of a bitch.

I saw him shot to death.

I see her at auditions all the time.

I seen you play ball. You're tough. But you see a naked guy...

I sent her home believing, A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case...

I sent them to the wrong room. I didn't know what else to do.

I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls.

I showed up mildly whacked on Demerol...

I spoke to him.

I steal audio visual components.

I steal shit.

I steal. I robbed a house. I stole this watch.

I suck heads off fish. That was you?

I suck the heads off fish.

I swear to God, this is it.

I swear.

I tell him about destiny. He's shaking his head.

I told her her real father was an actor...

I told Jenna one day she'd go to Hollywood...

I understand if you wanna take a swing at me. You fuck!

I want to, but I can't.

I want you to picture a bullet inside your head. Can you do that for me?

I was just up there, and it's really noisy.

I was leaving for L.A. I was never gonna see him

I was there protecting my employer, Dabney. Hello.

I was tired. I was pissed. I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club.

I won't have the movie end 17 times.

I'd jog by, Hi, hello, you know, that sort of thing.

I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going back to work.

I'll see if I can stir up the kettle, stick out my hat, see if anyone shoots at it.

I'll tell you what, I take notes, in general...

I'm afraid I'm similarly afflicted. My daughter just lived 10 years in Paris.

I'm at the airport, right, and I run into Flicka, and she says

I'm busy working on Harmony's case.

I'm from back East. I'm kind of digging the cold.

I'm going back to the East Coast, and that's

I'm going nuts. I've been through the store three times.

I'm gonna go check on something Harry said.

I'm gonna see who else is here.

I'm in town for two days, they know who I am and where to find me.

I'm interrupting. I feel badly. What are you drinking?

I'm kind of scared here, Perry.

I'm knee deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

I'm not a nice man, Harry.

I'm not even from here, you fuck up.

I'm not gonna lie to you anymore.

I'm not pretending that I'm normal. I just chickened out

I'm on the case. Here is my card.

I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid.

I'm sorry, just relax. Just get some rest, okay?

I'm sorry.

I'm such a moron. I'm sorry. You know what

I'm the frying pan, see? And my boy over here

I'm thinking I'm going nuts, so I think maybe...

I'm trying to wrap up the movie...

I'm with one of the kidnappers. One of them, anyhow. I shot him. He's dead.

I'm working a party on Sunset Plaza.

I've been to Baltimore, you win.

I've got a message for you. Get your feet off my fucking desk.

I've got a surveillance in MacArthur Park.

I've got surveillance tomorrow. You game?

I've never finished anything that I've started my entire life.

If I don't remember because I was drunk, how could I have gotten it up?

If I had to sum it up, and I do

If it fucking killed me, I would not stop...

If it has, see if there's a cremation scheduled.

If it's in the drawer, it's clean.

If Jenna was hunting her mystery dad, this is where she would start, right?

If that's gonna frustrate you.

If you'll excuse me, apparently I'm meant to help cut this monstrosity.

If you're not gonna help me, I need to find somebody else!

If you're wondering who the best boy is, it's someone's nephew.

In Indiana. He was there with the movie crew.

In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending...

In my shower? Come on, you said real life.

In reality, the pros like about five feet of separation.

In the meantime, back off.

Invites me to sit down, sits on my lap...

Is that sick? I think Yeah, I think that's sick.

It used to be alakazam when you cut me in half.

It was always behind the bedpost or there's a shadow. You never

It was the first time I felt that how pitying someone...

It'd just be a drink. You'll be home faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

It'll be like, Hey, Perry, look out. Boom, back in the car. All right?

It's a cool watch. It's got this little light thing. I stole this gum...

It's Christmas, where's my present, Slick?

It's fine. It's all shut up. They gave me painkillers.

It's getting too scary. You gotta bail. Get a flight out, today.

It's gonna be worth more too because I think he's, like, paralyzed now.

It's in your bank, you overpriced bastard.

It's just that that's not the first thing you think of.

It's not like I did it for kicks.

It's nothing against your boss. I'm grateful. I just

It's nothing. There was actually this kind of cool moment where I got...

It's on the floor, to my periph I don't wanna see it. Pick it up, put it on ice.

It's only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better.

It's past my bedtime.

It's tiny. Is this real?

Jack Robinson.

Jeez, look at those stems, will you?

Jesus. Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?

Jesus. Oh, no, no. We're not ready for you yet, sir.

Just anything before I split. I'm begging you. Come on, help me out.

Just now. My friend Tiff does the video dubbing at Fox.

Just shut up!

Killed herself, by the way.

Killed herself, by the way.

Killed herself. I solved your case for you.

L.A.

L.A. don't want you no more, tough guy.

Later.

Let it happen, baby.

Let me just give you a hand here...

Let's get out of here.

Let's go.

Let's read.

Let's see.

Like in the movies, when a guy sticks a gun at some schmuck's back and says:

Like most soon to be fucked up girls, Harmony was wicked smart.

Like the girl from high school...

Like the other night when you were all over me...

Listen...

Look around, there's younger and better.

Look, Harry, you grabbed my tit. It's life, all right? It's no biggie.

Look, he was gonna kill you anyway. He said so.

Look, I'll find it. I'll find the thing. Where are you? Fuzzy little bitch.

Loves snakes, afraid of spiders.

Ma'am, I hope you won't be offended when I ask you...

Make a choice.

May I ask how old you are?

Maybe the man who is living here is not your father.

Maybe you wonder how Silly Putty picks shit up from comic books.

Merry Christmas. Sorry I fucked you over.

Mind answering a question or two?

Mom's gone, so it's just him and his born again little bundle of joy.

Moron. Why? Why? Why?

Mr. Dexter owns the prestigious Dexter Clinic.

Mr. Dexter, the coffin's good to go.

My best friend! You said you were going to drop by his house, wave goodbye.

Never happened. I talked to my police guy.

News on Channel 5, just starting. Call me after.

Newsflash, Perry. Your client, Ames, it was the little sister.

Night, Harry.

No biggie? Guy grabs your tit, That's life, no biggie?

No harm will come to you. Alakazam!

No problem. Don't quit your gay job.

No way.

No, genius, that was us. Remember?

No, I did one better.

No, I didn't I didn't kill him. He wanted in.

No, I don't wanna come up. Why would I go up there?

No, I used to be great, now I'm amazing. Get with it.

No, my question. I get to go first.

No, no, no. Don't fight it.

No, not really.

No, not really. She fucked every other guy but me.

No, not you. Listen, call downtown...

No, the ME's report showed no indication of **** stuff.

No, there's nothing in the papers, so....

No, you tell me. What kind of talk is that? I can't believe you.

No? Come on, I just want to say something to her.

No.

No.

No.

No. I don't like him. Kurt Cobain, he took my cricket.

No. Idiot.

No. Just in town for the funeral.

Not for the faint of heart.

Not for the squeamish.

Not my gun, idiot. They dropped the body on you, it's a frame up.

Not really. Look, she must have a cell phone, right? She must.

Not school, not marriage, nothing.

Not yet.

Nothing. It's just under her stage name.

Now back to Protocop, starring Jeff Neal.

Now that I'm in L.A., I go to parties. The kind where if a girl is named Jill...

Now, get this, they're screen testing me. Is that wild?

Now, go. Vanish.

Now, Harmony, different story.

Now, what did you say? Think.

Now, where you going?

Now, you take one of these gals who sleeps with 100 guys a year...

Of all the dipshit things to do.

Of course she's fucking dead. Her neck's broken.

Of course, credit where credit's due...

Of course, no problem. Fire away, officer.

Of course. If you are, I should be.

Oh, boy, pressure, pressure. I came here...

Oh, boy.

Oh, forget it. It's just crazy.

Oh, fuck, this is my fault. I'm sorry.

Oh, God, Harry, I am so sorry about that. How is it?

Oh, God, Harry.

Oh, God, how did you get away?

Oh, God! God, we haven't spoken in years.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Everyone's got a stage name. What's her stage name?

Oh, Harry.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry I had to bail on you, but I had to go to work.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. So it's two different girls, right?

Oh, shit. I skipped something.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. How are you?

Oh, that's a bit of a reach.

Oh, the one with the guy that beat the shit out of you? No.

Oh, wait, back up. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse. Fuck.

Oh, wait, he can play basketball. Sign him up.

Oh, yeah, right.

Okay, come on.

Okay, everybody who hates Harry here raise their hand.

Okay, first things first. We gotta move her somewhere. You got gloves?

Okay, I apologize.

Okay, I know this sounds crazy, Harry, but listen. Okay. Okay.

Okay, I was a bad narrator again...

Okay, let's burn the bitch.

Okay, this is a bunch. I can start my...

Okay, we'll start on your case tomorrow. All right?

Okay, well, I'll just write it down and then

Okay, you've got 30 of my fucking seconds, thrill me.

Okay.

On the count of three.

On the left, next to Brazilian Billy Bob Thornton.

On with our lesson.

One day your sister came calling, and she saw Dexter...

One day, I'll actually learn how to fight.

One minute, I'm boosting Xboxes in the East Village...

One, two, three!

One's normal and the other's some wild shit...

Or I can keep drinking until it goes away.

Or let's you and me go outside right now.

Or that shot of the cook in Hunt for Red October. Sorry.

Or you can sleep here. But it would only be sleeping, Harry.

Otherwise, it seems like the mechanism that allows sleep

Overwhelming sadness. Meanwhile, you got a rodney.

Pardon me.

Perry said this chick was deep into the born again bit...

Perry, it's me. Listen, this Veronica Dexter business stinks.

Perry, like, lived. Yeah, it's a dumb movie thing...

Perry, listen up. I know this is a long shot, but indulge me, please.

Perry, nice to have known you.

Perry, watch out! Goddamn it, turn around!

Perry, what do you call it?

Perry!

Perry!

Perry?

Perry.

Perry's stakeout. It's a setup. They're going to MacArthur Park after Perry!

Pick them up.

Please, they're no different from anywhere else.

Point is, I don't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down.

Police ever find the car?

Police theorize a falling out between the kidnappers...

Positive ID, scars, dental records.

Princess. Scary friend.

Probably an actor.

Promise?

Protocop, protector of man. Is that it? Protocop? He protects men.

Quit acting like the good guy, jerk off.

Really? That's funny. I got a 10 says, Pass the pepper.

Red flag, Harry. She took her birth control pill for the day.

Remember me? What's up, honey? How are you?

Remember you said the killer may have been at Dexter's party?

Remember? With the ski masks, those dudes.

Richie!

Right before she died, she charged over $2000 on it. That's weird, isn't it?

Right there, at your 11 o'clock.

Right there. She's right there! Shit.

Rudolph, Reggie.

Rule number one: This business, real life, it's boring.

Say again? They gave her back?

Second, you've got to find the gun.

See there?

See there? Harold.

See, I forgot, old Jonny, he always had two cases. Remember?

See, these dudes tonight, they see two assholes out of nowhere.

See, this is what I'm talking about. Old school. Method.

Sentron something. Some bullshit company! Plus

Seriously, don't jump all over me. Just pay attention. Watch it, please.

Seriously, I would go through one in a day.

Seriously, why not the girl over there? Look, she's very pretty.

Shave a couple million off of Colin Farrell's price tag.

She believed me, Harry, and she came out here looking for him.

She comes back to the States, drops the lawsuit, moves in with her father.

She couldn't handle it, and she took her own life.

She doesn't have a minute.

She had something, that gal, this quality.

She hired me over the phone.

She opens the door, she got nothing on but the radio.

She poured herself into a seamless dress.

She predicted that murder, Harry. She sent you and Perry to that exact spot.

She says it is heaven for the vampire set.

She thinks I'm a detective, so go along with it.

She told me you were a detective.

She was in the trunk. I had to shoot the lock to get it open.

She was murdered, Harry. She was murdered. She was murdered.

She wasn't very happy to find out that you're not a detective, that you lied.

She'd get rich and famous and then help little sis.

She's gone, Harry.

She's homely.

She's never forgiven me for leaving her all alone.

Shit better be improving your acting.

Shit, they're on my tail. I gotta go.

Shit!

Shit.

Shit. Well, I think....

Shut up and listen. First, we have to wrap the body.

Single gayest thing you've ever done.

Sit.

So again, for the cheap seats, do not think, walk the fuck away.

So are you willing to positively identify this woman as your

So long ago.

So much for unreality.

So that's pretty much that.

So the whole reconcilement thing?

So this evening, was it Jonny Gossamer enough for you?

So this thing, it's over, right? They say the kidnappers are all dead, so....

So who's in this cinematic milestone?

So you found something out?

So you still here, huh, tough guy?

So, what do you do?

Some will tell you she got here on account of the giant robot.

Somebody wanna fill me in?

Sometimes. You know, when I dressed up like a bottle. How about yours?

Son of a

Son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch!

Sorry, chief. There it is.

Sorry, sweetheart.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. I work for Perry now.

Sounds crazy, but I don't remember what occurred...

Sources close to Neal, who has not worked as an actor in two years...

Speak of the devil. Gotta go.

Speaking of bad ideas, what's this about you taking on your own case?

Stay put. Be quiet.

Stop.

Such as why is a savvy, stand up cat like yourself consorting with gay men?

Sunshine, she'll be back to you in a minute. Relax.

Swell, they're enjoying Baltimore. I'm lying here with my brains out.

Take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood...

Take a look. You want some of this right here? Look at this.

Take it easy.

Talk to me. Our mascot, back in high school, who was it?

Tell you what, if you change your mind about that drink...

Thank God you had a gun in there. I thought it was a gay thing...

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for taking the trip to L.A. with me.

Thanks, bro.

Thanks.

That came out wrong. But what I'm saying is...

That chick in the casket, she won't even match up with that...

That girl, I know her. She's done some work for me.

That is a terrible scene. It's like, Why was that in the movie?

That it's all one case.

That show was cancelled two years ago. Just ask Wait, are they even open?

That show was cancelled two years ago. Just ask Wait, are they even open?

That sly little minx of yours has solved this case, and now I can't find her.

That was incredibly gay.

That was some pretty harsh shit with the old guy back there, right?

That whole thing is wild. You know what else is nuts? You cut off my finger!

That's a $40 value. Act today.

That's all right, don't apologize.

That's all right. I had him pegged when I came in.

That's because it was her. It all came flooding back.

That's crazy. He was using my sister to impersonate his daughter, Perry.

That's dead on, right?

That's empty, honey.

That's impossible. They don't even know you.

That's it. Please stay for the end credits.

That's it. That's the true story of what happened last Christmas.

That's just it, I didn't. I believe that I did not.

That's me there. My name's Harry Lockhart, I'll be your narrator.

That's plenty. Stop. Oh, my God! I can't believe you'd come here...

That's the essence of the

That's where Harmony's 2 grand went.

That's where Harmony's 2 grand went.

The actor, who still retains a costume he wore on the show...

The card she stole from me was maxed out.

The Dexter girl, was she ****d?

The guy smoking, that's Dabney Shaw, my producer. He discovered me.

The hell it isn't. Actually, it's nightly and most mornings.

The keys! Get the keys!

The man with him is Perry Van Shrike, a. k.a. Gay Perry.

The old Bring Them In and Push Them Out. That's what we're doing.

The other reindeer laughed at him. Then, out of the blue, they need him.

The ringer was a girl named Mia Frye, 23 year old from Glendale.

The zoo was closed, so I thought I'd come here and look at an animal.

Then it'd be Knighty Knight. Soon it'd be Toodles, and then Ta Ta.

Then they all come out here.

Then they also have planted a gun, trust me. Move it.

Then we'll go fix your finger.

There is, though, one final scene for your viewing pleasure.

There you go, a winner!

There, all done.

There's always the part where the guy gets tortured.

These lessons suck.

They are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back.

They gave away my crickets.

They panic. They got a body, they've gotta dispose of the evidence.

Think, dummy. A 911 call from your hotel room...

Think. First she hates her dad, then loves him. Has a lawsuit, withdraws it. Why?

This city can't get enough of messing with people.

This is bullshit. What will you do, take me out here? There's sec

This is destiny.

This is not a book. This is not a movie.

This is....

This isn't finished.

This kind of makes sense. He had the Gossamer books at his house.

This was for your shoes. You handed it to me for my face?

This was two corpses in three hours. Am I crazy? That's unusual, right?

Threw it in the lake. You wouldn't, I would.

To tell you the truth, Jonny Gossamer always has a way bigger ending.

To the racetrack and buy the son of a gun a drink.

Took the bus to L.A., the promised land.

Toss it here. Let's see who it is.

Twelve o'clock, that's them. One of them is on foot.

Two guys in masks, and there they go.

Used to be an actor.

Veronica Dexter was reported missing yesterday afternoon...

Veronica Dexter, 25 years old yesterday. Paul.

Veronica Dexter, yesterday afternoon about 4:30, left her home.

Veronica Dexter. I saw the body up close. Hell, I carried the damn thing.

Wake up. Harry, wake up.

Walk away. Don't think, just do it.

Watch it.

We can absolutely talk about it, all right?

We got it. Do you think I'm stupid?

We gotta go now.

We gotta lose the hat. I'm sorry, honey, I can't

We gotta roll before the cops come.

We went back to Indiana, the three of us, for Jenna's funeral.

We were just at that party. Are you telling me...

We're gonna go save Perry, really quickly.

We're gonna, like, probe deeper?

We're in trouble. Dexter's got us.

We're required by law to treat every suicide as a potential homicide.

We're very sorry about the mix up on our part.

Welcome to L.A.

Welcome to the party.

Well, damn, you are tough.

Well, Harry, I'd be lying to you if I didn't say...

Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible...

Well, hey.

Well, maybe you should try to get in touch.

Well, now, here we all are:

Well, you know the one with the bear?

Went off to the airport, pick up some dude, old boyfriend. Off she went.

What am I telling you for? Invite her to something.

What are you talking about? My sister paid you.

What case? Leave her alone.

What did you just do?

What do you say, Perry? Oh, fuck, no fair. No fucking fair.

What do you want?

What I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff...

What if little sis had been murdered by the same assholes...

What is your problem? I'm letting you off the hook. You didn't do anything.

What she hired me to film wasn't murder, but incest.

What she thought was father and daughter.

What the ?

What the fuck is going on? This is bad.

What the fuck kind of guys you hang out with here?

What was she even doing here? The lady in the lake, now the sister.

What were you thinking?

What, are you her brother or something? It's none of your business, man.

What, fuckhead? Badly is an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Out. Vanish.

What?

What?

What? What is it out here with these women?

What? You said you don't remember!

What's going on?

What's my sister's connection to Veronica Dexter?

What's the person like? Crime lord?

Whatever. Out.

When in doubt, cut up a pig. That was the town motto.

When she wasn't impersonating Veronica Dexter...