Twins (1988) Edit

A family ?

A little chest pain ?

A little.

A lot of handicapped children are gonna be very disappointed.

A lot of places are on the way to Houston.

A top secret experiment designed to produce a physically...

About to take a really big fall

According to our files, his mother did not die...

Actually, I hate violence.

After all, fair is fair.

After we've paid off all our debts...

Ah, yeah

Ah, yeah

Ahhh !

Ahhh !

Ahhh, oof !

Al, hang on a second.

Al, save me !

All I want him to do Is tell us the truth.

All I want is the money.

All life taught you was that the only person you...

All right, all right.

All right, pay him.

All right, you're coming.

All right.

All right. Here, Linda.

All right. l'll see you there.

All right. Oh, God.

All the crap that was left over...

All the purity and strength went into Julius.

All theory, no practise. The story of my life.

All very distinguished men...

Always ?

Am I shit faced yet ?

An amazing woman.

And a reaI home...

And all her paintings to young artists.

And as such, he's ineligible for aid.

And ask for uh, uh, Beetroot McKinley.

And beautiful.

And desperately needed his help.

And everything's gonna happen, bro

And he means it, even if he doesn't know he means it.

And help Grandma with lunch, okay ?

And hug you, hug you, hug you.

And I don't mean a military march.

And I got switched with another baby.

And I haven't got the time. Show's over.

And I only have eyes

And I promised Vince that I wouldn't tell you...

And I was sent to an orphanage...

And if I had a chance to live again

And l'm coming with you.

And l'm the missing part of your life.

And Mom...

And now I know it's 'cause you're part of me

And spearing fish on the lagoon, but here on the mainland...

And spent a few days on the road together.

And that's where he must have slept !

And the trash Trash

And there they'll be...

And yes I would die for this dance

And you look really good.

And you never contacted her ?

And you plant a good one on her... ho

And you take her in your arms

And you'd get laid.

And your back, It's worse than the front.

Angel's food or devil's food ?

Apply it to the brake. lt's the thing next to the gas.

Are you a little nervous ?

Are you saying that l'm a side effect ?

Aren't we, Marnie ?

As a matter of fact, I come from an island in the South Pacific.

As long as l'm with you, I won't let anyone harm you, okay ?

At the same time I brought you here to the island.

Be careful.

Be right out. Oh, boy !

Because l'm gonna be tossing my cookies in a minute.

Because thanks to you, l'm not only a goddamned psychic

Because...

Beetroot McKinley talkin'. Who is this ?

Beetroot, l'll see you in Houston.

Before I forget, happy birthday.

Benedict !

Benedict, visitor.

Benedict.

Blue Sedan DeVille.

Boom !

Brand new Caddy on leveI 4.

Brother to brother

Brother to brother

Buckaroos.

But for a brief period, they were considered valuable.

But for the first time...

But he died at birth.

But how will you find him ?

But I got no car.

But instead of just one perfect kid...

But it had nothing to do with chess or poetry.

But Julius did not care.

But l'm sure it can be resolved...

But my mother was a slut and if she's still alive...

But one day, there's gonna be a knock at the door...

But she didn't survive the delivery.

But there was a mix up in the hospital...

But they all disappear from view.

But we don't look the same, we don't act the same...

But who doesn't pay you, because you don't need money.

But you do not tell Julius what's in that trunk.

But you're so good at it !

But... l'm learning.

Butt out, paI ! You got your money.

By a scientist who you do research for...

By my feet...

Can I have the keys to your car ?

Can we get the hell out of here, please ?

Cash, lots of cash.

Catch ya later.

Come along, now.

Come on, hit 'em.

Come on, Julius.

Come on, like this. Here you go.

Come on, we just wanna talk to you.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Concerning the clientele.

Conducted by the American government.

Could count on was yourself.

Crafty devil, huh ?

Dad !

Dad ?

Dad, this is incredible. I don't know what to

Dear Sister Anderson, your request for orphan's benefits...

Devil's.

Did I leave anything out ?

Did you hit me ? Because I didn't feeI a thing.

Did you know they had beer in Ancient Egypt ?

Did you see me with the two wheels ?

Did you tell anyone we were coming to Santa Fe ?

Do I look like somebody who could play house ?

Do women really wear those things ?

Do you know how many times l've heard stories like this ?

Do you know those men claim to be my twin sons ?

Do you know where he might be ?

Do you really think we should do that ?

Does he always try to be funny like that ?

Don't be nervous.

Don't do that thing with your eyes.

Don't forget. I was taken to a beautifuI island.

Don't give him any money.

Don't grind your teeth.

Don't just stand there. Go introduce yourselves.

Don't look at me like

Don't use both feet at the same time.

Don't wait up for me. [ Chuckle ]

Don't you think that's a little drastic ?

Duck !

Due this morning.

Either bed will be fine.

Especially chosen for their genetic excellence.

Even when you've been bad.

Excuse me !

Excuse me ? l'm

Excuse me, but I was just taking a shower.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I just have never heard this kind of music before.

Feast your eyes. Dinner is served.

Find your horse you came in on.

First we visited our birthplace...

Five m m million !

Five mil l lion dollars !

Five million bucks !

Five million dollars !

Five million dollars !

Five million dollars !

Five million dollars ! Five million bucks !

Five, five million dollars !

For the first time in my life, I'm pissed off !

For you she bop she bop

Forget about disco.

Get over here.

Get the hell out of here before I call security.

Get these jerks outta here.

Good night, Mr Benedicts.

Good shot.

Good singing.

Good, that would really be a big help.

Good.

Got anything for me ? See what you got.

Gotta light, paI ?

Great seeing ya. Catch ya later.

Ha ha ha ! Five million bucks !

Had things like this inside, inside them.

Handicapped children ?

Handicapped, my ass !

Happy birthday. Watch your head.

Have a nice day.

He disgraced Sister Maria...

He dumped us in the middle of New Mexico.

He excelled in history, science...

He had become obsessed with the idea...

He knew about Mary Ann Benedict...

He knew that, unlike other little boys...

He looks so happy.

He messes with me, he messes with my whole family !

He still runs a genetics lab at Los Alamos, New Mexico.

He supervised the experiment for the government.

He thinks we're going to look up our ancestors...

He told me about a man in New Mexico...

He wants more money. That's what this is about.

He was a cowboy.

He was pure in body and in spirit.

He was sent to an orphanage in Los Angeles...

He will arrange to trade you a briefcase for the merchandise in the trunk.

He's a force of nature.

He's from outta town, kinda latched on to me.

He's probably just like me.

He's so full of energy.

Hello ?

Hello, can I help you ?

Helping me with my research.

Here it is. Read it and weep.

Here's the money.

Here's the problem. We gotta do a whole ensemble.

Here's your money. Here's your money.

Hey !

Hey ! All right.

Hey, he's my brother.

Hey, Jules. Marnie's got the hots for you, babe.

Hey, Vince !

Hey, Vincent, don't you think this is Mama ?

Hey.

Hi, girls, you don't mind if we join you and listen to some music.

Hi. Who's this guy ?

Him.

Hold you and talk of

Hold you and talk of romance

Holy shmoly !

Honey, l'm home !

Honey, why don't you go inside...

Hous

How can bullshit walk ? That's slang, huh ?

How can we make it up to you ?

How did you know ?

How much money do you owe ?

Howdy !

Huh ?

Huh ? Come again ?

I asked you a question.

I baked you some cookies.

I beg your pardon. But you're looking for Vince Benedict.

I brought it back the next day. I explained it to the man.

I called work and told them we wouldn't be in for a few days.

I can't believe it.

I can't wait to meet her.

I come from a tropicaI island in the South Pacific.

I could do better than five here.

I could have given the alarm and saved all the other orphans.

I couldn't believe he was going.

I decided to tell Julius Benedict...

I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.

I did, I did !

I don't know about your mother, Miss Perfect, 1952...

I don't know any Klane brothers. l'm your brother, Julius.

I don't know what else a mom could want in a son.

I don't know what it is, but it's worth a fortune.

I don't know what the problem is...

I don't know who you are and what you're talking about.

I don't know why I listen to people.

I don't lie. I am your brother.

I don't need a king size bed. I always sleep on the floor.

I don't think that's a problem. Hey !

I feeI like sometimes, like...

I felt like my life was happenin' again

I felt like my life was happenin' again

I felt that.

I found him once, l'll find him again.

I gassed it up for you, Beetroot. Thank you !

I got a bucket of ice and a very good bottle of wine.

I got a reputation to uphold.

I got my driving gloves. I got my driving glasses.

I got my driving hat.

I got something for you. Try these on.

I hate violence. Plus I never carry a gun.

I have a brother ?

I have him in my head.

I have rowed halfway across the world

I have the highest respect for women.

I hope nobody's looking in the window.

I hope she's in a lot of pain.

I just can't get over how alike they are.

I just got here yesterday and I already found my brother.

I knew you were trouble the second I laid eyes on you.

I know I don't deserve this

I know it's crazy

I know this may sound strange...

I know you don't know who I am.

I know you're probably used to growing your own vegetables...

I know, I know, I know, I know.

I liberated this from my file at the orphanage.

I like my work.

I made a terrible mistake and I apologize.

I meant, her spirit. Her spirit is always here.

I must find him.

I must find my brother.

I named you.

I only have eyes for you, Linda.

I only have eyes for you.

I promised this friend, Sammy...

I saw a guy from the Auto Club do this once.

I should've had my head examined listening to you.

I think it's important we try to find our fathers.

I think we should move in together.

I think you'd better come take a look at this.

I thought it was a great idea if we all hopped in the car...

I tried to stop them, Mr Benedict.

I waltz with her.

I wanna look my best.

I was 12 years old and she was a nun. Talk about pressure.

I was halfway to Brazil when I felt you !

I was just feeding the cat, then I was gonna leave.

I was loved. I was protected, educated.

I would have done the same thing.

I wouldn't be too sure, pal.

I wouldn't serve him if he crawled in on his hands and knees.

I wouldn't want it unless I was your twin

If we can't renegotiate, we wither and die.

In over 20 years of service, not one of my clients...

Is beneath even them, all right ?

It didn't split equally.

It's around 300 nauticaI miles, south, southwest of Fiji.

It's the amount of enrichment...

Juggle baba Betta do thee

Juggle baba Betta do thee

Julius !

Julius already knew that he was the product...

Julius could speak 12 languages.

Julius had spent his entire life here on the island...

Julius would not listen to me.

Julius, don't do this to me. I got a car to deliver.

Julius, I have to admit this.

Julius, I know this is a touchy subject for you...

Julius, Julius ! Wait, wait.

Julius, let me tell you something about America.

Julius, you're you're here ?

Julius.

Julius.

Julius...

Just a second, Jules.

Just for you She bop she bop

Keep track of you, because I don't need to.

Keeps them on their toes.

L

L'll be anything you want, your aunt, uncle, sister...

L'll be here, bro. Okay.

L'll be looking forward to it.

L'll be there ! Don't move ! Bye.

L'll bet you are. Follow me.

L'll call a doctor.

L'll call you next Saturday.

L'll get it in a minute.

L'll give you a call, okay ?

L'll give you a couple of pointers.

L'll give you something.

L'll have to pay him a visit.

L'll just have to find it in my heart to live with your offer.

L'll need your driver's licence, sir.

L'll never leave you

L'll take care of it.

L'm a reasonable man. How about fifteen ?

L'm caught up in some kind of trance

L'm certain God had a purpose when he created Vince Benedict...

L'm cranky in the morning, l'm grouchy in the afternoon...

L'm glad to help you. Vincent, l'm your brother.

L'm gonna go tuck Linda in and maybe read her a bedtime story.

L'm in fast company here.

L'm into the Klane brothers for $20,000.

L'm just saying It's nice Mom's loaded.

L'm moody at night, l'm like miserable.

L'm not going to introduce you to my mother looking like a goat herder from Albania.

L'm really worried about you, Vincent.

L'm so excited. Now we can go to museums together...

L'm so happy, Vincent.

L'm so proud of you. I love when you hit people.

L'm so sorry about this.

L'm sorry, but that's not possible.

L'm sorry. I didn't know.

L'm supposed to be giving you one of these.

L'm terribly sorry to disturb your party.

L'm unarmed.

L'm worried he's gonna get himself killed delivering it.

L've been looking forward to this moment my whole life.

L've been on my island, l'm telling you.

L've been on my island, l'm telling you.

L've got an idea. We should go into business together.

L've got another six hours to pay the money back.

L've got to take a chance

L've never been lucky

L've never been lucky l've got to take a chance

La la la La la la

La la la La la la

Ladies !

Leave my brother alone.

Let me check him out. A light concussion.

Let me tell you something for your own good, Julius.

Let's go.

Let's sleep on it, okay ? Sleep on it.

Lf I die for this dance

Lf one me is good then two is better

Lf she's disappointed, then she's a fake.

Lf there were signs I must've missed 'em

Lf they have lied to us about Mama for all these years...

Lf this Professor Traven has never heard of...

Lf you can do better than five million dollars...

Lf you choose to bluff...

Lf you don't scrub that kitchen floor

Lf you don't scrub the kitchen floor

Lf you lift the rear end at an angle greater than 45%...

Lf you're lying to me, l'll be back.

Life just doesn't get better than this.

Like a shadow you stick to me

Like in Roots or something. All right ?

Like, what if she's disappointed in me ?

Like, you know, Aretha Franklin and Otis Redding...

Linda !

Linda, do I look like a young artist ?

Linda, l'm sorry.

Linda, look at me.

Linda, no, you're not coming with me.

Linda.

Listen, Al...

Listen, the most amazing thing has happened, Vincent.

Ln case of a fire...

Look in your rear view mirror. You see that little dot ?

Look out stomach, here it comes. Ta dum !

Look what Marnie made for Julius.

Look who decided to chime in !

Look, Julius, I'm in a hurry.

Look, l'm sorry I lost my temper.

Look, Miss Busby, uh

Look, there's no way, Mr Beetroot...

Look, we've come a long way.

Look. Mary Ann Benedict never understood...

Look... I mean, usually he leaves the keys behind the tyre.

Looks like l'm gonna be doing business with... him.

Lovely day.

Lt could be. Yeah.

Lt doesn't work that way. You've seen my face.

Lt feels great to be a good guy !

Lt turns 'em into putty in your hands.

Lt was actually the Assyrians that developed the beer.

Lt was really quite upsetting.

Lt'd be fun.

Lt's a crock.

Lt's a lot of money, Jules.

Lt's all from books. UntiI tonight, l've never had a beer.

Lt's all right.

Lt's all right. lt doesn't matter.

Lt's an artists' colony 200 miles north of Santa Fe.

Lt's every orphan's fantasy.

Lt's for children.

Lt's gonna be a good night, bro

Lt's good you didn't have to borrow his pants.

Lt's got nothing to do with finding my mother...

Lt's just one of those things.

Lt's not really important, is it ?

Lt's okay. Come out.

Lt's the one l'd have chosen, close to the fire extinguisher.

Lt's this style thing. That's how he expresses himself.

Lt's your night, bro

Mada dada Hey tow

Mama !

Mama !

Mama ?

Mama's rich. We gotta go see her.

Marnie !

Marnie hates my guts. She kinda likes you, though.

Mary Ann ?

Mary Ann Benedict.

Mary Ann, I am sorry.

Mathematics, literature.

May I ask you a question ?

Maybe it's under the back tyre.

Maybe millions of people go by...

Maybe they lied to her, too. We got to find her.

Maybe we should try to open it ourselves.

Mentally and spiritually advanced human being.

Mine, too.

Mitchell Traven, the guy with the clipboard.

Mm mm, Uh huh

Mr Vince Benedict ?

Must be where you made the milk shake.

My brother Whoa

My life has been just getting better and better.

My name is Julius, and l'm your twin brother.

My reaI mom and dad were rich...

My treasure. We didn't know.

My twin brother, Vincent.

Naturally ! All of our dads were these big shots.

Never believe a word he tells you. That's free advice.

Never knew you existed

Never saw you in my dreams

New Mexico's on the way to Houston.

Nice shirt.

No, I don't.

No, I just could've used some more.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. You don't want to do anything like that.

No, please, please !

No, Vincent. Your life is just about to begin.

No.

No.

No. No, you idiot.

No. Oh, well.

Nobody likes a smart ass, all right ?

Nobody to love you, to trust you, to encourage you.

Not any more. Come on.

Not to mention valuable.

Not until this very moment...

Now all of a sudden

Now let me get this straight.

Now look, Beetroot...

Now take it and go live in the lap of luxury somewhere.

Now there's a man with a lot on his mind.

Now try to count without moving your lips, all right ?

Now you found me.

Now, hang on to your seat !

Now, look, promise me something.

Now, that's it. There. Yeah !

Now, what Julius did not know...

Now, where do I find this very speciaI person...

Odd, the contents of his files are missing.

Of a scientific experiment...

Oh yeah, bro You're gonna do it

Oh, come on. You don't need a sticker.

Oh, excuse me. I don't smoke, pal.

Oh, God. We both flushed at the same time before we did it.

Oh, he wouldn't come in here.

Oh, hello, hello !

Oh, hit 'em, hit 'em.

Oh, how sweet.

Oh, I would love to.

Oh, is that who they were ?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, it's huge.

Oh, Julius. My little baby poodle.

Oh, l'm sorry.

Oh, lay off the beer, Julius.

Oh, my God !

Oh, my God. I don't even know which one is which.

Oh, my goodness !

Oh, obviously.

Oh, oh ! Jesus Christ !

Oh, oh. lsn't that pretty !

Oh, that's more slang !

Oh, that's right.

Oh, the money.

Oh, the times l've wondered what would have happened if l'd have married her.

Oh, well, look.

Oh, well. Let's go get something to eat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. The more cheese, the merrier.

Oh, you look gorgeous in this light.

Oh, you mean the geniuses who contributed...

Ohhh !

Ohhh !

Ohhh !

Okay, it's a supermarket.

Okay, one, two, three. One, two, three.

Okay, well, great seeing ya.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Go pay.

Okay. That's all right.

On his 35th birthday...

One of my fathers ! You don't know what this means to me.

One of our fathers was a famous football player ?

One to another

One to another

Ooh, you're so scary.

Oooh !

Oops !

Open up, Vince. We know you're in there.

Open up, Vince. We know you're in there.

Or all our dads or the experiment...

Or you don't get no spending cash

Our mother didn't die when we were born !

Out of nowhere it seems

Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow !

Pay him money, all right ? They let me out.

Pick up the phone, the phone.

Precisely.

Put it in the slot.

Put the gun down. I got the money.

Put this shirt on. There are women and children present.

Put your feet by my feet. Come on. Let's go.

Raf a hoo Fa haf ha

Rah tah tah Rah tah tah

ReaI estate like this is worth a fortune.

Relax your jaws, yeah.

Revolutionary fuel injection system for jets.

Romance

Rugg a do a Higga do ha

Rump bump bum Diddilly ump bump

Rump bump bum, Rump bump bum Rump bump bum

Sadly, he had long lived with the tragic knowledge...

Say it... four million dollars.

See ? That's it. You're not wrestling a boar...

See, they told her you had died at birth.

Sew do a Fair da

She bop she bop

She bop she bop

She bop she bop

She dumped me once.

She passed away some time ago.

She said she was afraid...

She used the money to buy Whispering Pines.

She was my mother.

She's here !

She's not bad.

She's our mother, is the thing.

Shot ? Who shot you ?

Since you and l first met, uh...

Sisters ?

Sit down.

Six months behind. That's the problem.

Smiling on me

Sneaking in like that, I should call the police.

So did Vincent.

So do Begga do fow

So if we're so much the same, how come we're so different ?

So l'm afraid l'm gonna have to stay here tonight.

So like this. One, two, three.

So o o !

So that the alarm's computer thinks...

So, what do you think ?

Some merchandise that you might want.

Somebody else developed it, but I just had to have it.

Sorry I tore your shirt. I don't know what happened.

Sorry l'm late.

Sorry, it's my first day on the job.

Sorry.

Stop ! What are you doing ?

Such a baby cat. Look, did I neglect you ?

Take a couple of days off. When we regroup, l'll call you.

Take a look over there. See that man ?

Take it easy, Vincent. This is not her fault.

Take out the papers

Take... out... the... papers

Take... out... the... papers

Takin' back this furniture, man.

Talk philosophy together, read books together.

Tell me a little bit about Vincent.

Tell the Klane brothers that harassing a man already in the slammer...

Tell us where our mother is.

Tests on the new low temperature gaskets look great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming back, Vincent.

Thanks.

Thanks. This is gonna be great.

That depends on how you feel personally about trespassing.

That dopey Sam, he forgot to leave the keys.

That his mother died while giving birth to him.

That I wanted to talk about.

That is Vince ?

That l'd pick his car up from the airport.

That looks just like you, Grandpa.

That poetry he pretends to write, they're old song lyrics.

That the car is being towed and shuts off.

That was great !

That weaseI ? That creep ?

That's a worry she won't have to have in her old age.

That's all right, it was time to redecorate anyway.

That's Burt, this is Morris, and l'm Bob.

That's it. Here we go.

That's it. The last cheque is written.

That's it. Yeah !

That's me.

That's my private line, honey. l'll take care of that.

That's our mother. Those are our six fathers.

That's private.

That's right, Julius. She abandoned me.

That's right.

That's Werner. And that is you.

That's what I call fun.

The brake pedal.

The car was there. The merchandise was in the trunk.

The creature from the Black Lagoon.

The Egyptians were the first to perfect the malt process.

The embryo did split in two, but...

The first rule in a crisis situation:

The first thing is, Jules...

The first thing is, Jules...

The Klane boys. What an unpleasant surprise.

The last thing I need is a detour in the slammer.

The little thing down on the right that's making noise.

The magic just never ends

The magic just never ends

The mercury switch activates the automatic cut off system...

The moment I sat down, I thought I was looking into a mirror.

The next time you should really consider wearing helmets.

The parking attendant thought we were going to Hawaii.

The secret to take out eggplant parmesan is extra cheese.

The truth about himself.

Then he stole all the money from the library fund, and ran away.

Then we bought new clothes.

Then we bought new clothes.

Then why are these bumps all over your body ?

There is no way l'm gonna give her a chance to do it again.

There it is.

There you go.

There's going to be a lot of lights coming up, a supermarket.

There's no family here.

There's no trust in the world any more.

There's nothin' here except me and three losers.

These are my cousins, Sam and Dave.

These are quality socks.

These are the most unfriendly acts you're committing.

They know I always deliver the goods...

They lied to me all these years.

They lied to you, too.

They won't be happy until they turn this into a golf course.

They're shameless. They'll try anything.

They're strange and sensitive.

This car was supposed to be auctioned off at their charity drive tomorrow.

This is a big surprise.

This is a great idea.

This is an artists' colony. There are a lot of painters.

This is for the T shirt and the sandwiches.

This is incredible that I have looked for

This is making me look very bad professionally.

This is no bluff.

This is not your everyday, average situation.

This is Vincent's brother.

This is Vincent's car. Can I help you, please ?

This letter was written 30 years ago.

This place is a zoo !

This woman is ripe. You're nervous...

This, uh...

This, uh...

Through the lips, over the gums, look out

Throw wild parties. Take advantage of your brother.

Tickets ?