Vegas Vacation (1997) Edit

A little harder on the shoulders.

A singer's body is his instrument, and I believe in keeping it finely tuned.

After you, Mr. Pappagiorgio.

Ahead or behind, what does it matter?

All I know, Clark, is my teeth have never been whiter...

All of you come with me now.

All right.

All right. Come on.

All the years I've waited for this. Years!

All this time I thought I was unhappy with you and Mom.

Almost.

Am I right? I mean, am I right?

And don't get cheap on me.

And get inside and work on your typing.

And guess what. Newlyweds get in for free.

And he wants to enter that garden with a knowledge and a mulch...

And I think this one's gonna be a winner.

And I want something better!

And I've never seen him do anything like this.

And if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to call me.

And in the evening you can sit outside...

And it'd be my honor to help you in your time of need.

And not a loveable fool who clowns for the delight of children and small people.

And please, take all the dam pictures you want.

And starting right now, we're gonna have a great time.

And that is that it's not what you have but who you have to share it with.

And that's the macaroni.

And the most important thing is for us to get back together before it's too late.

And we could have a lot of happy, wonderful times, Clark.

And we don't get too many of those in the desert.

And we're on vacation.

And when his woman is at his side...

And when we get home, even though I've lost most of our money...

And where would you like the car sent, Mr. Pappagiorgio?

And you guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognize you anymore.

Any questions?

Anyone for milk?

Anyway, we're just stopping by for lunch.

Are you a professional?

Are you okay? You look all red.

ARNIE: And that's how a power plant works.

As appealing as that sounds, Eddie, we should be going.

Audrey, come here. You gotta see this.

Audrey, honey, let me tell you something I learned:

AUDREY: Dad, I'm not going. The people there are so phony.

AUDREY: Daddy. Daddy.

AUDREY: No. She's got a body for it, though.

AUDREY: Rusty. Audrey, I'm asking for five bucks.

Audrey!

Audrey?

Audrey?

Audrey.

Batter up.

Because we're the Griswolds.

Best buck 49 buffet in town, Clark.

Best buck 49 buffet in town, Clark.

Bet with the bank.

Bet with the bank. Bet with the bank. Bet with the player.

Bet with the bank. Bet with the player.

Bet with the player.

Bet with the player.

Big bet for a big man.

Blackjack.

Blackjack. Blackjack.

Blinded by glitter and the almighty dollar.

Both of you take 20 bucks. If you need Daddy, I'll be...

BOTH: Coffee. Make it three.

BOY: Hey, Mr. Griswold.

But a fool who's only fooling himself.

But after meeting you, I realize how truly alone I am.

But I do know one thing.

But I was just dissatisfied with myself. All that's changed, thanks to Las Vegas.

But it's beautiful.

But my resolve is melting in the blinding light of your precious smile.

But when you got your body covered in third degree burns...

But with the constant windstorms and flash floods...

But, Dad, we're having a great time.

But, Wayne, you have millions of fans.

But... Oh, wait, here's something.

Buy a bullet and rent a gun?

Can you believe it? They used to test H bombs on this beautiful property.

Can you tell it's my thumb, huh?

Card counting, Clark?

CATHERINE: Bye, guys! EDDIE: Bye!

CATHERINE: Eddie.

CATHERINE: I love you, Eddie.

Changing 1600.

CHAUFFEUR: I'm sorry, sir. Come. Please. Come this way. Please.

Clark Griswold, did you think you were gonna get to Las Vegas...

Clark pretty much likes the garage for the car and the lawnmowers.

Clark, are you serious?

Clark, get our money back.

Clark, how much money do you have right now?

Clark, I don't think that Las Vegas is the kind of place you take a family.

Clark, it's not the way it looks. We were just having pasta.

Clark, this is a family vacation. Could you try to stay with the family?

Clark, this is all you can eat.

Clark, Wayne Newton.

Clark, where did all this come from?

Clark, you've been so good to Catherine and me through the years.

CLARK: Ellen, don't worry. I'm here, honey.

CLARK: Excuse me a minute. Five thousand dollars.

CLARK: God bless you. EDDIE: Thank you.

CLARK: Got one. Got one. Got one.

CLARK: Hello?

CLARK: Hit me.

CLARK: Hoover Dam. Over 1000 feet wide, and 727 feet to the bottom.

CLARK: I just want some time with you.

CLARK: Is it safe to be digging like this?

CLARK: Isn't it great?

CLARK: Look, everybody. I think you should see this.

CLARK: Maybe I'll just replace these and take a carrot.

CLARK: Maybe I'll just replace these and take a carrot.

CLARK: No, no, Sparklet. Don't blame gambling.

CLARK: Oh, come on.

CLARK: Oh, thank you.

CLARK: Rusty? Excuse me. Excuse me.

CLARK: Sweet for me, Marty. You're finished.

CLARK: That's Las Vegas, they never stop giving.

CLARK: Think we ought to be doing this before we get married?

CLARK: This is it. This is it.

CLARK: Well, Eddie said there was enough room for a pool.

CLARK: What do you say, Russ? My 20th anniversary.

CLARK: When a man can come to Las Vegas with a few extra bucks in his pocket...

Clark?

Clark? There he is. Clark!

Clark...

Coin toss. Eddie, these are my games.

Come on in. Let's have some fun.

Come on, Clark. The night is young.

Come on, come on, come on! There's a lot to do.

Come on, Griswold, you think this sign's here...

Come on, kids.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Come on.

Come on. You love me, don't you?

Congratulations. You've won the car.

COOK: Oh, you're right.

Could I see some ID, please?

Cousins.

Dad, Las Vegas? There's nothing to do there.

Dad, this is Larry, Kurt and Ira. They're professional entertainers.

Dad, we're too old for this.

Daddy wants a seven! Let's go, seven!

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy's coming to get you!

Damn it.

Dealer has rock. Pay paper.

DEALER: Another 21! EDDIE: Yeah, Clark, you nailed her there.

Did you come to Las Vegas to be a showgirl?

Did you know there were 92 individual muscles in the human throat?

Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you.

Doesn't that hurt?

Don't forget Grandma and Granddad's anniversary.

Don't let that one get out of your sight.

Don't shout, Daddy.

Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Russ.

Don't worry about me. I got plenty I can do on my own in Las Vegas.

Don't worry about water leaking through the rocks, folks. It's perfectly normal.

Drive carefully!

Eddie, has anybody ever told you before:

Eddie, I'm not worried about my money.

Eddie, I'm trying to concentrate.

Eddie, I've gambled away more money than you'll ever understand.

Eddie, thanks for buying me dinner.

Eddie, this place is great.

Eddie, what am I doing?

Eddie, when you look at me, what do you see?

Eddie, why do you have all this money buried in the ground?

Eddie, you have something on your...

EDDIE: Here's the best part.

EDDIE: I gotta warn you, Clark. They don't play the same games here...

EDDIE: Let go of me. Let go of me!

EDDIE: Oh, yeah. Watch out for the scorpions.

EDDIE: Which hand is it in?

EDDIE: You're on a roll now! Yeah!

Eddie.

Eddie...

Eight is a winner. What?

Eight years old.

Eighteen.

Eighty.

Ellen Griswold, do you promise to love and honor Clark...

Ellen Priscilla Ruth Smith Griswold...

Ellen, I...

Ellen, I've always been a moral man.

Ellen, I've been a fool.

Ellen, I've learned that a family vacation only works...

Ellen, what are you doing up? I thought you went to bed.

Ellen, you know, I've always felt very blessed...

Ellen, you're too much.

ELLEN: Are you watching for an address, Clark?

ELLEN: Bye, Eddie. EDDIE: Bye.

ELLEN: Clark. A limo?

ELLEN: Danke schoen.

ELLEN: Foot. Foot. Foot.

ELLEN: I hope you kids have learned something about the dangers of gambling.

ELLEN: Ow.

ELLEN: Sorry about the tablecloth.

ELLEN: What do you know about blackjack, Clark?

Ellen?

Ellen?

Ellen?

Ellen? I know what we can do.

Ellen? Russ?

Ellen.

Ellen. Outrageous. Where's the rest of the family?

Even eight matches wins $15,500.

Everybody loves a baby.

Excuse me a minute.

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Get out of my way, please.

Fantastic. This kid's great.

Fantastic. Unbelievable.

Fine. You want five bucks? Here. Here, big man.

Five dollars. New roller coming out.

Five hundred dollars.

For a rainy day, Clark.

For the first time, I got the...

Four it is. Hey, gang!

Four tickets to Wayne Newton.

Fresh broccoli.

Gambling is what made America great.

Get out of my way. Hands off my wife!

Get out the sunscreen.

Get... Go get someone.

Give him the dice. He can do it. Come on.

Give me 20 bucks. War!

Give me another 20, Eddie.

Give me that! Give me that!

Give me your gum.

Go have some fun.

Go put it in the pit with the other ones.

Go to the tenth floor. Go right at the end of the hallway.

Good evening. Changing 200.

Good luck, everybody.

Good luck, Mr. Griswold.

Good luck, sir.

Good luck, sir.

Good luck.

Good night, Eddie.

Good night.

Good talk, son.

Goodbye, Ellen.

Gosh.

Great.

Great. Will you excuse me?

Have a good trip!

Have anybody in mind for a bridesmaid?

Have you ever swam with the dolphins? Them things is hard to catch.

Having an entourage is expensive.

He just ain't used to real home cooking. Are you, tiger?

He said, Take the ticket?

He'll do it again. The kid's gonna do it again.

He's gone. There was nothing you could do.

He's good.

Helen, show this girl something with a heel.

Helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon. See it as God does.

Hello, room service?

Hello? Hello? Help.

Hello.

Help. Daddy, I'm stuck.

Her picture's everywhere.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here. Eat these.

Here's an idea:

Hey, could that be it?

Hey, Denny boy, come on over here.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, have you seen this person?

Hey, kids. Roundup time.

Hey, let the man roll the dice.

Hey, look at this.

Hey, pal, why the long face?

Hey, sir, are you all right?

Hey, what are you having for breakfast, lazybones?

Hey, who's it from, Mom?

Hey! Here come the kids.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! You wanna dance up here?

His name is not Pappagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold...

Hit me.

Hold on, honey.

Holy crap. Wayne Newton's hitting on Mom.

Honey, call up the kids.

Honey, did you forget I was in the Army?

Honey, please don't spoil your daddy's fun.

Honey, will you check the map again?

Honey? I'm home.

Hose down, now, kids. Chicken's almost ready.

Hot sandwiches. I'm not worthy of a hot sandwich.

How do we do it?

How much did you lose?

How often do I get to see my cousin Catherine?

How?

How?

How?

How'd you do at the tables last night?

How'd you do at the tables last night?

I ain't seen a beating like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants...

I always make too much.

I am your dam guide, Arnie.

I can't believe it.

I could use a best man.

I do, but here?

I do? Thanks.

I don't care if I ever get my money back.

I don't care if you ruined my life. I love you!

I don't know if you've ever seen this.

I don't know.

I don't think that's a very good idea.

I feel so many things right now.

I forgot where I buried it.

I got a teeny thing happening downtown.

I got my big bonus.

I gotta get my family back.

I guess they really know how to treat their high rollers.

I had a fantastic alone day, Clark.

I had an idea.

I hate to see you down like this.

I have something for you.

I haven't said yes yet.

I hear that.

I hope you enjoyed the company as much as the food.

I love what you've done with the kitchenette.

I mean, Ellen, you and I are always working.

I mean, you know...

I need to go someplace where a man can think.

I never got married. I was scared.

I observe them. I cherish them.

I said, blackjack!

I seem to have run out of pocket money. Do you cash checks?

I sit here alone, you know. Nobody cares.

I suppose it is. Why? Want his autograph?

I think he did.

I think he said, Take the ticket.

I think he's staring at me.

I think this is gonna be the greatest vacation ever.

I think we have a problem, sir.

I thought the pilot was very helpful.

I used to have quite a little system for finding it.

I wanna gamble.

I wanna play baccarat.

I wanna press this up.

I wish Eddie and I had time for that sort of thing.

I wish I could spend the rest of my life with you.

I won the money.

I won! I won!

I won. I won the money.

I won. I won the money. Did you hear me? I said I won.

I'd like the crab Rangoon, chicken fingers...

I'd like to bet five dollars.

I'll get the tongs.

I'll have some of the... Some of the yellow.

I'll never fly again.

I'll tell you what there is.

I'll tell you what you see:

I'm a fan, sir. I am a fan. I can't believe I'm standing next to you.

I'm about even.

I'm broke.

I'm going out.

I'm going to college in the fall, but I'm doing volunteer work this summer.

I'm gonna make pasta.

I'm gonna remarry your mom.

I'm here to help.

I'm learning baccarat.

I'm looking for an underage kid named Pappagiorgio. Seen him?

I'm not a father. I'm not a husband. I'm nothing.

I'm sorry to bother you, sir. May I see some ID?

I'm sorry, sir, it's tails.

I'm starting my vacation.

I'm sure you'll be happy with Wayne Newton.

I'm telling you, this is not the way to do this.

I've been coming here for... I've never won once, and now I won.

I've been earning money testing fertility drugs.

I've got a chip here.

I've got news for you, Clark:

I've got some...

I've got two dollars.

I've gotta go. But thank you.

I've lost $300 in 15 minutes?

If I could just get that money back, I could turn it all around.

If I did have a family, I'd like it to be like yours.

If I win at something, I have nobody to share it with.

If it ain't gluing your butt to the seat...

If she'll have me.

If this is about sex, I already know.

If you get to the pool, you've gone too far. Back up.

If you have nothing to do later, please come back.

If you're still hungry, I can wrestle the potato salad from the dog.

In this world, you're either up on the stage in the spotlight...

Is that clear?

Is this it?

Isn't there legalized prostitution?

It got late. I got worried about you.

It was a wonderful time.

It's a lock of my hair.

It's Audrey's birthday.

It's been such a long day.

It's Dean Martin's recipe.

It's government property all around us, so you know nobody's gonna build.

It's my long life food preservative. It's finally been approved.

It's not that high.

It's people like you who blow the family nest egg here that built this town.

It's the number one family destination in America.

It's Wayne Newton!

Jeez.

JILLY: I love you, kid!

Just don't want you to lose all your money. That's all.

Just gonna... I'm gonna help her get it out.

Just like in gym class.

Just tell them I'll catch up.

Keep dreaming, son.

Kids, come on in here. Gather around.

Kids, remember when you were babies?

Kids, remember when you were babies?

Larry can bend his leg up over his head without falling. Wanna see?

Larry's taking me to see the world's largest thermometer.

Las Vegas Fun Police. Hand over your chips.

Las Vegas has changed, Ellen.

Let me get the babysitter.

Let me tell you something. Money isn't everything.

Let's go.

Let's let them get into some trouble.

Let's see if I still got it.

Listen, everybody. Who knows how many more chances we'll get...

Little Ruby Sue must have grown a foot since you saw her last.

Look at these people.

Look at this one here.

Look out, don't hurt me now. Don't hurt me.

Look who's home.

Look, maybe we should join...

Lord is my witness, I hate this heat.

Love to. But we have a lot of plans, don't we?

Love you.

Lunch was wonderful.

MAN [ON RADIO]: 4:22 on a sunny Thursday afternoon here...

MAN [ON TV]: At Hoover Dam today...

MAN 3: Press this up? Yeah. Yeah, press it.

MAN: Hey! What are you doing there?

MAN: I won. I won. I won.

MAN: Please, madame. Chin up.

MAN: Shrimp cocktail, 29 cents.

MAN: This way, please. The tour is about to start.

MAN: This way, please. The tour is about to start.

MARTY: Place your bet, sir. Yes, the bet.

Marvelous.

Masters of the Impossible.

May I see some ID?

Maybe you're hungry. Would you like some pasta?

Me? No. Not really.

Meet us in the spa at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Mom, we're next door. Can't we get our own rooms?

Money stashed away.

Mr. Pappagiorgio?

Mr. Pappagiorgio. Yeah, Lanai 6.

Mr. Shirley thinks a guy like Clark Griswold deserves a few days off.

Mrs. Ellen Griswold.

My friend, $200 in chips, please?

My health...

My kids are thriving.

My son.

My wife and kids are back in Yuma where I work in software...

Next stop, Wayne Newton's house.

Nice breeze up here.

Nice kids, Eddie.

Nice of you. Good luck.

Nice place for a pearl necklace.

Nice to meet you.

Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma? You like getting massaged?

Nine is a natural.

Nine is a natural.

Nine is a natural.

Nine.

Nineteen.

Nineteen. So close.

No corrective lenses tonight?

No gratuity is necessary, sir.

No problem.

No, cancel that.

No, I do not require them.

No, I don't think so.

No, I'm on vacation with my parents.

No, Russ. Get dressed.

No.

No. I got it.

No. I think they want a little time away from mama and papa bear.

No. No, I... I must be tired. Maybe I'll go find the kids.

No. Not really.

No...

Not me.

Not now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.

Not this pretty boy.

Not within the city limits, Russ.

Not you.

Now aren't you a little slice of pie?

Now that you got that, all we gotta do is teach you how to dress.

Now, are there any dam questions?

Now, here's one for all you rush hour rockers.

Now, I'm about to take you through a fully functioning power plant.

Now, in order to get to your rooms, go this way through the casino.

Now, listen, I know we haven't seen a lot of each other lately...

Now, where can I do the most damage?

Number one show on the planet.

Oh, and Dad's old football number, 44.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, come on.

Oh, Daddy. I don't know what I was thinking. Let's go home right now.

Oh, don't worry, Audrey. It won't leave a permanent line.

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, Greg, give me some birds. Let me hear some birds.

Oh, I had that last time I was here.

Oh, I love electricity. Eddie says we're gonna get some soon.

Oh, I see.

Oh, I wouldn't do that here, Clark.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, it's getting late.

Oh, man. It is a blazer out there.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my Lord. Rusty!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, okay. Let's see. House has 14, and house busts.

Oh, thank you. We're very blessed.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, listen...

Oh, that's so wonderful.

Oh, there you are. Did you get that?

Oh, Wayne.

Oh, Wayne.

Oh, whatever.

Oh, why don't you go sing something?

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's from when I sold one of my kidneys.

Oh, yeah! That's a bigger fire than the red drink.

Oh, yeah. Every time I belch the plate shifts and my legs give out.

Oh, yeah. I remember when I was too young.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Oh, you may feel like nothing now, but look on the bright side.

Oh, you must be lost. This is Mr. Pappagiorgio.

Oh, you'll have a great time.

Oh, your mother's got something caught in her eye.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, Ellen, you drive the red one.

Okay, kids. Inspection in five minutes.

Okay, wise guy. Let's see how you do against three hands.

Okay, you gotta pick 10 numbers.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. I think I get it.

Okay. There's one more reason why you should all go.

Okay. What happened to you last night?

Okay. What the hell.

On your right is Treasure Island. On the left is Harrah's.

One hand at a time.

Oops. Yeah.

Ow! Good night, honey.

Pappagiorgio?

Payback time.

Phone booths, men's rooms.

Pick a number? I'm great at that.

Please wear this tonight. A friend.

Please, keep up with the tour.

Please, they just love me for my talent.

Please.

Police emergency.

Promise to love and honor Ellen...

Really, Sparky?

Remember when I had the puffer fish?

Right now. Ready?

ROY: Enter. Okay. I know this one. Yeah.

ROY: Give him a hand.

ROY: Trust me. CLARK: All right. I'll trust you.

Russell, I never wanna hear those words out of your mouth again.

Rusty and Audrey Griswold, please.

Rusty and my poor little Audrey.

RUSTY: Hey, is this for us?

RUSTY: I wonder where Dad went. I haven't got a clue.

Rusty?

Rusty's never had this reaction to poultry before.

Say cheese.

See how they like this.

See the way the plane applauded?

See, I told you. Clark!

See, we're on our honeymoon, but if you wait here for two minutes...

Seven out.

Shall we?

She's gonna break something.

She's got her mama's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.

She's with Vickie somewhere.

Show them that little move I taught you there, pork chop.

Shrimp, ladies.

SIEGFRIED: Now, let's do some real magic.

Sir.

Sit down.

Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.

So please, no one wander off the dam tour.

So that's how they got the title Danke Schoen.

So this is going up then, huh? I'll just go with it.

So to close out that wonderful chapter in our lives...

So, what's it gonna be tonight? The Amazing Elvis Monkeys?

Some of this spaghetti Bolognese here.

Sorry, my pen burst in the altitude, you know?

Stick your head in and say, Joey Heatherton.

Still got a lot of sightseeing, and I added tetanus shot to the list.

Sure you don't wanna save a few bucks for the buffet?

Take another right and then wind around left.

Ten bucks. Ten, ten.

Thank you so much for having me for dinner.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for the pick me up, Eddie.

That sounds great, but Ellen went to sleep hours ago.

That'll keep them busy for hours.

That's a workout there, isn't it? Climbed all the way up there.

That's fast.

That's it, Clark.

That's it, kid.

That's it. I've had enough. Let's get out of here.

That's not exactly what I had in mind.

That's why I entered into the sacred bond of marriage with her.

That's wonderful.

The Beach Boys with Good Vibrations.

The guys at work tell me there's this special club we can join...

The money is mine. I have the money. The money is mine. I got it!

The point is, starting now...

The stalls are awfully dirty and they're backed up all the time.

Then by the power vested in me by the state of Nevada...

Then she must be one hell of a sleepwalker.

Then we'd wrap you up in those little baby blankets...

There must be over $100 in here.

There we are.

There you go. What are you doing in Las Vegas, Eddie?

There's a Honeymoon Slots tournament at the Golden Nugget.

There's a lot to do.

There's first class entertainment, beautiful scenery...

There's just one little problem.

There's something I have to tell you.

There's something your old dad would like to say about that:

These boys aren't much to talk to...

These rolls.

They always put the machines that pay off the most right in front.

They don't have these games at the Mirage.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

They tossed me.

They're busy.

They're four years old.

They're giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank.

They're not bad.

Thirty three.

This bread pudding is extra runny tonight.

This doesn't look like chicken.

This is one of the oldest dam tunnels we have.

This is steep.

This isn't chicken. This is chicken.

This should be sweet.

This tour gets better every week.

This way, please.

This way.

This whole thing is money, money, money.

Those four cars over there...

Those lousy bums threw you out?

Those were my mother's dying words.

Time's up, Eddie.

Tonight, consider yourself part of our family.

Try me.

Twelve. Craps. A loser.

Twenty eight dollars.

Twenty two thousand, six hundred dollars.

Veer to the left. Take a sharp right at the first giant palm tree.

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas!

Very special lady.

VICKIE: Don't ever pick me up again.

VICKIE: See this. It's after riding wear.

Wait a minute. I've lost most of our money?

Want some?

Wayne has invited us to Shenandoah tomorrow for lunch and festivities.

Wayne Newton just happens to be one of America's greatest entertainers.

Wayne Newton?

Wayne Newton?

Wayne, please don't.

Wayne, please.

WAYNE: Thank you.

Wayne!

We can get remarried. Right now.

We can raise snakes, maybe open up our own petting zoo.

We could count the bulbs on the strip. Audrey.

We could go into business for ourselves.

We could turn the den into a guest room. But I don't know about your horses.

We didn't really need the cash at the time...

We only need one plate.

We'll dig you a guest room.

We'll get your money back.

We're so impressed with your playing...

Welcome to the Mirage, Mr. Pappagiorgio. My name is Dean.

Welcome to the Mirage. Your credit card?

Welcome, everyone.

Well, here, take my seat, Eddie.

Well, I think we know who sent the dress.

Well, okay. Okay. Look. Look, let me just tip the piano player.

Well, we could all...

Well, we were very, very fortunate last night, Eddie...

Well, we've been married 20 years.

Well, with the checks and the credit cards...

Well, you can live with us right here in Vegas.

Well, you have your health.

Well, you see, we left our IDs upstairs, actually.

Well...

What a magnificent achievement.

What did he say?

What did he say?

What do you mean, they're...? They're yours?

What do you think of my spread, huh?

What energy!

What is it, Russ?

What? Ten years of tap dancing lessons and this is how you repay me?

What's it gonna be tonight? Wires? Mirrors? Trap doors?

What's this?

When a beautiful young blond co ed...

When I was your age, they had to use a water cannon...

Where am I gonna go?

Where are we going?

Where can I buy some bait?

Where can I buy some bait?

Where did I go wrong? What did I do?

Where else can you wear shorts 24 hours a day, huh?

Where the hell is the damn dam tour?

Where you going, Pop?

Where's the nearest casino?

Who knew my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred?

Who wants it now? Who wants it?

Who's hungry?

Whoa!

Whoa! I am on fire.

Why do they do that when we got a hot table? Why?

Why don't you give me half the money you were gonna bet...

Why don't you just call it a night and let Ellen lick your wounds.

Wish you and Catherine could come, but no room for the kids.

Without my family, there is no Clark Griswold.