It Could Happen to You (1994) Edit

A bowling team had the same numbers!

A guy calls at 3 a.m., says he's holding a gun to his head...

A lottery ticket?

A promise is a promise.

A tip? Two million dollars? Come on!

A tip? We got a cop that gave a waitress a $2 million tip!

About our little agreement...

Absolutely. Muriel Lang, the woman with the heart of gold.

Actually, we were pretty lucky.

And because of me you have nothing.

And believe me, I am now in a position to get them to come.

And certainly not to the criminals he stopped.

And everyone gets to live happily ever after?

And he says, Little girl, don't cry.

And here she is.

And I thought, They don't even know if they're attracted.

And I was a great waitress.

And if there are any sponsors out there, like Denorex...

And the numbers for your anniversary, my dear?

And the whole city will admire you. You'll be a celebrity.

And we beat the taxes if we move to Jersey.

And we have drafted a letter to Miss Biasi

And you went to the Plaza with him the day he left his wife.

And you, Officer?

And you're telling me that you'll actually split it with me?

Anyhow, we started dating, and...

Are you divorced?

Are you kidding? What you did was like a fairy tale.

Are you nuts? It seems so extreme.

Are you nuts? You're giving up without a fight?

Aren't the good deeds of your husband...

Aren't you a tiger!

As a matter of fact, weren't you married on the 27th?

As soon as possible.

As to their pre lottery holdings, we have a bank account totalling...

Beautiful... And she knows what she wants.

Beauty is my business, defer to my judgement.

Because I had such bad luck... Who wants ice cream?

Because of you, I have you. Why can't you understand?

Because to me, your anniversary will always be on the 26th.

Big smile, everybody!

Bloody Marys, she made. White Russians...

But I like it. I myself am a talker.

But I loved that chair! You could have asked me.

But Muriel and I have nothing to say. I don't know what happened.

But please stop talking about the money. It means nothing to me.

But yesterday, I went bankrupt before I came into work.

But... there is one thing that's very important. This:

Champagne? Champagne.

Charlie lived happily in Queens, where he was born and grew up.

Charlie was married to Muriel. She hated Queens.

Charlie went back to the force.

Charlie, Muriel and Yvonne all lived in a city

Charlie, Muriel and Yvonne lived in a city

Charlie, turn!

Charlie... Should I get my boobs done?

Checked your bathroom yet? There's a robe.

Chump change.

Come here.

Come here. Watch him!

Come on, Charlie, get up. You all right?

Come on, pal. Move!

Control yourself, please.

Cops have kids! Firemen have kids...

Court dismissed.

Decaf it is!

Decaf, please. I've reached my target heart rate.

Describe your relationship with Mr. Lang today.

Did he say 26?

Did you force your wife to split the ticket with Miss Biasi?

Did you have surgery last night?

Did you therefore consider it yours?

Didn't you go bankrupt the same day he offered to split the ticket?

Do each of them get a piece, or do you consider them as one?

Do you know how much it costs? Have you ever been divorced?

Do you want me to go?

Does it bother you that he split $4 million with a stranger?

Don't be afraid.

Don't do that! Because you know and I know

Don't go, I want to apologise in detail.

Don't worry about the cop.

Door one, double the tip. Door two, half my winnings.

Double the tip, or half of what I won in the lottery.

Down there, make a right.

Eat!

Eddie could only get work driving a cab.

Eight wants tea.

Either they're honest and broke, or crooks that never come home.

Enjoy!

Faster!

Four million dollars.

Four million.

From the bottom of my heart.

Fur's for animals, not for people!

Get inside, there's another one inside.

Get me some coffee.

Get up, Charlie! You all right?

Go away.

God bless you.

God, I hate this. I feel bankrupt.

Good afternoon, sir.

Good evening.

Good! Two coffees, one regular, one light.

Goodnight, Gail. I'm sorry.

Goodnight.

Gray says, How could black guys know what it's worth?

Gray's Antiques had another break in.

Have you ever purchased nail polish remover for your wife?

He bought me flowers, he took me to real restaurants.

He came to me in a dream. Baby, he said, floating out the window.

He had patience and common sense.

He had these big angel wings, the perfect colour of white leather.

He keeps asking me to visit.

He made me believe people were fundamentally decent.

He pissed me off.

He said that? What did you say?

He saved lives and prevented injuries, though not to himself.

He says, Baby, it's time to go to the church. You'll be late.

He wants us to have the four million.

He was a good listener.

He was a very decent guy, as was his partner, Bo.

He was just a good cop.

He's going to help us develop an economic strategy.

He's got nothing better to do than write tickets?

He's really starting to go downhill. In and out of hospital...

Hello? Sweetheart? C'est moi!

Here we go.

Here we go...

Here's your lipstick.

Hi!

Hi... Can you break a 20?

Holiday Inn? Charlie, you won the lottery.

Honey?

Honey...

How am I going to say this to Yvonne?

I always wonder... What's in store for them?

I am sorry, darling.

I am tired of your physical abuse. Did you see that?

I came to the church: St. Catherine's of the Holy Lotto.

I can't accept this! I want to, so desperately, but...

I could be a Buffalo waitress.

I could join the Buffalo force.

I could tell her I just won $5,000.

I did all right.

I didn't think so.

I don't even know where she is.

I don't know to this day what parvo is.

I feel like we're at the Academy Awards.

I gave her my word.

I got an idea. What's your name?

I guess fate's telling me to take it easy. Or so says my wife.

I had a dream last night. I got three cherries on a slot machine,

I had a dream last night. I got three cherries on a slot machine,

I had the tress part right.

I have a table with your name on it, for people who can't afford a meal.

I have some larger ones that I change into after work.

I have wings, Charlie. I want to fly.

I hope you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

I just want to make one stop.

I know you're dying to go in there.

I know you're mad about the account.

I know, I know. I'm trying.

I know.

I love being a cop, lottery or no lottery.

I love him more than anything in the world.

I married the wrong man. I mean the wrong, by a lot, man!

I mean, we're like freaks here.

I never pushed him enough.

I never thought we'd win, darling.

I only said we should do the right thing.

I said the odds of winning the lottery are not overwhelming.

I saw you bought the place.

I see.

I think it's the most important job in the world.

I thought she looked just fine.

I tried skiing. They threw me off the Peter Rabbit slope.

I used to come home, and you'd hug me.

I was in Our Town. I played Emily. People cried buckets.

I was struggling to make ends meet.

I won $55 million, and increased my net worth 40 percent

I won't let some lawyer make our relationship look ugly.

I would have to say yes.

I'd start myself as a very small, round forward.

I'll be all right.

I'll be all right.

I'll be there.

I'll bet you're there!

I'll call the Red Cross and tell them we're a disaster area.

I'll catch leprosy from the water, but otherwise I'm okay.

I'll do it.

I'll see you guys.

I'll split it with you. We'll share. You have it one month, then me...

I'm at Bo's at 555 3840. I guess I'll see you in court.

I'm divorced in my heart. That's what counts.

I'm going to go circulate.

I'm gonna starve to death.

I'm injured. Don't you read the papers?

I'm just so sick of it! Your niceness and decency.

I'm not bad mouthing it. I'm just saying, it's an adjustment.

I'm not gonna change, Muriel.

I'm running out of patience. I'm a person who needs money.

I'm sorry I was so rude yesterday. But it was the worst day of my life.

I'm starving, man!

I'm the doctor here, honey!

I've been out of town. The lottery? That's fabulous.

I've got a cousin that lives in Buffalo.

I've got something to tell you.

I've worked all my life. Finally something wonderful happened.

If he called me at 3 a.m., I'd tell him to do it.

If he intended us to have half, there would have been a 2.

If he was a detective, he'd have decent clothes.

If he was on the take, I'd say, He has initiative!

If I can't have the Knicks, I want season tickets

If I win, I give you half. If not, I'll leave a tip. What do you think?

If she puts on 50 pounds, will he love her anyway?

If the MasterCard is in your name, it's your responsibility.

If you don't want me, then I'll walk out that door forever.

If you eat one more of those...

If you fellows need a cab, my secretary will call one.

If you're here when I get back, I'll call the cops.

If you're not divorced yet, you're liable for your husband's debts.

In dramatic testimony, Yvonne Biasi was depicted

In his eyes he had dollar signs. And a 4 in place of the pupil.

In their darkest hour, the stalwart officer and good hearted waitress

Is anyone here?

Is this just to get even with Yvonne?

Isn't it a fact you owed $12,000 on your MasterCard?

It happened last night. It would have been more,

It took them three days to open all their mail.

It was a great day for me, too.

It was perfect, except he turned out to be a pathological liar.

It's a pleasure to have you here. A cocktail? Some champagne?

It's a string for your glasses, so they hang around your neck.

It's been like a cold war. If I try to talk about it, you...

It's for sale. You can buy it for like $100. I think it's $100.

It's nice to meet somebody you can just talk with, and hang with.

It's not important. It's history.

It's not the right thing.

It's so stupendously, phenomenally, unbelievably great!

It's the architect. Excuse me!

Jack Gross. Pleased to meet you, Officer.

Just a quick stop at Tiffany's, and I'll be born again.

Just fifty grand in seed money. Then we're off. Picture this...

Just once, please, do the right thing for us.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've just won the lottery.

Legally, that's not what counts.

Let me!

Let's pray nobody else calls in, so we don't have to split it again.

Like winning the $64 million lottery.

Listen, please. I came to New York five years ago, to be an actress.

Look sweetheart, you weren't there...

Look, I had to declare bankruptcy.

Look... here's the thing. I'm free all the time, basically.

Look... You'll be a cop again. It's what you love.

M U RI EL'S DREAM DEAD FATH ER PICKED WI N N ERS

May I?

Maybe I could get some commercial endorsements?

Maybe I'll get a chill later. Just hold it.

Maybe we can stay there for a while.

Meatball?

Miss Biasi. Would you describe your financial circumstances

More champagne?

Mr. Lang volunteered his wife's earnings without her consent.

Muriel and I met in high school, in one of those cooking classes

Muriel Lang, the woman with the heart of gold!

Muriel Lang, the woman with the heart of gold.

Muriel Lang, woman with the heart of gold.

Muriel lives in the Bronx now and works in a nail salon.

Muriel was the first girl I ever...

Muriel... your veins, they're bulging out of your neck.

My choice? Okay...

My dead father.

My God, it's Bendel's! What a feeling, to come here with money.

My house is a wreck, and I've got nothing to do...

My mother never made oatmeal. She never made food in her life.

My name is Angel. This story... Well, it's pretty much all true.

My name is Paul, and I'd like you to spank me with a wire brush.

My sister was married to a cop. It's a no win situation.

Nail polish remover?

Never, never.

Never.

Nice... really nice.

No matter what comes before, you don't expect this.

No, I guess I didn't.

No, I've got adult responsibilities. Next batter!

No, I've got to get home. But I got you something.

No, I've got to get home. But I got you something.

No, that's the Fire Department.

Nobody ever loved me before.

Nobody move!

Nobody moves! A carton of Virginia Slims!

Not at all. In the beauty parlour, I'm known as:

Not Officer Krupke, the saintly cop?

Not quite accurate, Mr. Zakuto.

Now I can't afford to get divorced. I mean, I'm used to my luck...

Now I know why all these bad things happened.

Now, ten years later, I bet they're happily married with six kids.

Of course not. Not Mr. Saintly. You're too good to have an affair.

Of course. After what you did.

Oh man, you got shot!

Oh man, you got shot!

Oh, actress... briefly. It didn't work out.

Oh, I'd... be in favour of it.

Oh, Jeez... I'm short.

Oh, my God. The bowlers, thank God, only count as one.

Okay people, let's go. Step lively now, come on.

Okay, great. I'll have Carol watch the register,

Okay, your turn. What next? What do you want to do?

On the house.

On your head, sweetie pie.

Once upon a time in New York, there was a cop named Charlie.

One bedroom in Queens is not my idea of living.

One bedroom is fine. If we had kids, it would be another story.

One night at least, stay at the Plaza.

Orthodox ****. It was an arranged marriage.

Our favourite Korean is getting robbed right now.

Overruled.

Please, you have to come in and see what I did.

Probably not. Probably you've had good luck your entire life.

Quiet, please!

Ready?

Really?

Really? How about tomorrow?

S & L funds, Biotech funds... Gold funds, they were a disaster.

Season tickets to the Knicks.

Season tickets to the Knicks.

She can have my half, period.

She can have my half.

She has customers with Al DS, and treats them like an angel.

She has no taste. That outfit looked like it came from the 60's.

She left him and married an electrician. That's real money.

She's down there.

She's in her element. Stockbrokers, accountants. She'll enjoy it.

She's not flashy. She's just a waitress.

Sir, can I help you?

Sir? If you'll just follow me...

So I come to New York, and I meet Eddie.

So I give to Officer Charles Lang this citation for bravery,

So I guess this is it for you and rollerblading?

So I run down Queen's Boulevard, through Flatbush... impossible!

So I'll be donating $10,000 to the Policemen's Widows' Fund.

So if you ever want to do something, or you want company...

So you agree with Muriel? Giving her half is crazy?

So you don't have to carry around that boom box.

So you'll know where they are. At all times.

So, in short...

So, Mrs. Lang, your husband picked the 26th on his own, correct?

So... season tickets, stereo system, Mazda GL6?

Some of New York's luckiest people are here in Manhattan

Speaking of which...

Stay here, I'll go through the basement. Call for some back up.

Sun. How are things in the mysterious East?

Talk about the worst luck of all! He swept me off my feet.

Thank you very much for a very stimulating evening, Mr. Gross.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

Thanks a lot!

That cop's just sitting out there.

That is out of bounds!

That only leaves us with...

That was what was so weird. I expected chicken.

That's 16 people that picked these numbers... Oh, God.

That's basically it. There's furnishings, some good linens...

That's disgusting.

That's horrible, Muriel. Please, think about what you're doing.

That's it! I'm out of here.

That's really funny. I'm gonna die laughing.

That's ridiculous. He was a nut job, he prayed to chickens.

The bank is not aware of your divorce.

The bottom line is, I'm sticking around until you kick in.

The court would like to thank the jury for its service.

The Eddie Biasi Players!

The fact is, I told you our anniversary.

The lottery money should not be divided. It was Mrs. Lang's ticket.

The lottery? The actual New York State lottery? Four million dollars?

The lotto jackpot has grown to over $64 million.

The only reason you're calling is the lottery.

The right thing? What the hell is that?

The thing is... I got something for you.

The trial, which has attracted citywide interest, begins today.

Then my father was standing right next to me.

Then stiff her. Stiff her and smell the flowers. For me.

There should be more people like you. Ethel from Staten Island.

There they are!

There was you... there was your husband...

There'll never be anything else.

There's a little bit of a hill here, so you might want to watch it.

There's nothing going on. And he's not a saint,

There's this whole other city that goes on all night long.

They don't know if they've got anything to talk about.

They must charge you an arm and a leg. Just the chairs...

They must get the African American Antiques Newsletter.

They should give you a straitjacket and take you to the loony bin!

They weren't allowed to see each other. They couldn't get a glimpse.

They're for little old ladies. Which you certainly are not.

They're trying to make me into a gold digger... him, the media...

This is Eleanor Smith of MasterCard. You are now eligible,

This is police business, step aside. It'll take two minutes...

This is Yvonne Biasi. Please leave a message after the beep.

This is... the nicest thing anyone's ever gotten me.

This thing between you and the cop is none of my business.

This will take forever. And Burger King's another five blocks.

Those charges were incurred by my ex husband, after I threw him out.

Those numbers again are: 6, 12, 16, 26, 64, 84.

To an actor named Eddie.

To anybody with any sense, that means the day they got married.

To my shock, I'm standing there in my wedding gown.

Tonight, I, Angel Dupree, photographer for the N. Y. Post,

Tuna on whole wheat, one scrambled soft, toast crisp, tea with lemon.

Two brothers walked off with a Biedermeyer chest.

Unbelievable! Your room is exactly like mine, just a different colour.

Unless you give him $1,000 he'll pull the trigger.

Wait a minute! I can't accept this, can I?

Wasn't the veal fabulous?

We are also attaching the monies given by Mr. Lang to Miss Biasi.

We believe that he and Miss Biasi had a long standing relationship

We could live on less, even.

We could live on that, right?

We got the licence on the 26th. We got married on the 27th.

We hope you have a great future. The Garcias, Long Island City.

We rule in favour of the plaintiff, Mrs. Muriel Lang, on all counts.

We should leave New York.

We went to get the marriage licence, and there was this other couple...

We won something? What did we win?

We won! We got the jackpot!

We'll check the winning numbers when we return.

We'll go co op next year, and sell the apartment.

We'll win this, because it's right. It's not your fault.

We're gonna open our own bowling alley...

We're not divorced yet, but I told him to tear up the credit cards.

We're on two different channels. I'm CN N, she's Home Shopping.

Weirdest thing happened. I came out because I felt seasick.

Welcome to Charlie Lang, Yvonne Biasi,

Well, I... I figured you were busy.

Well, thank you. That's what I thought.

Well, that's great, baby. No one deserves it more. I mean that.

Well, that's retirement.

Western for Walter. And for Timothy, oatmeal like Mom used to make.

What are my chances?

What are my options here?

What I have is a bill for $9.53. What I do not have is the $9.53!

What say you?

What was that?

What was your relationship with Mr. Lang when he made his offer?

What?

What?

What? You won something?

What? You're making me nervous.

What's the real issue here? Us, or what some idiot neighbour thinks?

What's with this cop?

Whatever. I'll take door number two. I'll take half of the lottery.

When I left, the good Samaritan gave me money,

When I was eleven, my dog died of parvo.

When will I be able to get my MasterCard back?

Where are you going, big shot? The Plaza?

Where's that sense of humour?

Which I use, because...

Which is the opposite of me.

Who suggested, if we had a child, that we name him Al Pacino.

Who wants pie?

Why are you doing this? This sick joke!

Why can't you change 20 dollars? You drive all day!

Why is the gate open?

Why should I? You're the one that loves to give everything away.

With all the crime in this city?

With linen, wine and good lighting, you know?

With my luck? Go, get the cat out of the tree, or whatever...

Women! Who can live with them? And without them?

Yeah, the Plaza.

Yes, really.

Yes. But that was just... fate.

You are an example to all of us. Betty and Phil. The Bronx.

You are there. Hi, baby!

You are very brave, Officer.

You can endorse shampoos, conditioners, nail polish...

You did good?

You got to be kidding me!

You have some in your room. Every room probably has fruit.

You have to excuse me sometimes, it's just...

You have to have things that are stable. Permanent.

You look like a psycho.

You mean these? No, it's just a prosthetic bra...

You recommend the lobster thermidor?

You should be committed to an asylum for life.

You should have heard that bitch downstairs talking about it.

You stick around. I'm out of here.

You sure did! The $9.53 comes out of your cheque. Bring me some coffee.

You sure I can't get you anything? Coffee?

You think I'm making this up? I'm not! We won.

You want a sick day, get sick. If you're healthy, you work.

You want money. Of course you want money.

You went bankrupt?

You won $4 million. Do you know what an amazing gift that is?

You'd kiss me and ask how my day was. When did you do that last?

You'll have to stop seeing her for a while.

You're kidding... I'll see what I can do.

You're married to one man, and in love with another.

You're nothing. A working class stiff. Blue collar all the way.

You're spilling water everywhere!

You're too young to be hanging around.

You've always done the right thing for everybody else.

Your turn to pay.

Your witness, Counsellor.

Yvonne got her coffee shop back.

Yvonne, I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you.

Yvonne, wake up!

Yvonne!

6, 26, 84.

6, 26...

12... 16... 64.

811 is this way, ma'am.

40 percent? At virtually no risk.

A complete stranger? Charlie! I owed her a tip.

A couple of times, I guess. And you paid for it?

A glass of water? Real leather. I thought so.

A promise is a promise. And a stereo for the whole house.

About your affair with... Shut up about her!

Al Pacino Biasi. Come on!

All right, five more minutes. I ordered Chinese. Come up!

Am I talking incessantly? Yes.

and all the kids from Woodside, Queens.

and wish him a quick recovery.

and you could pick me up at noon?

Any Miracle Whip? Yes. No matter how broke I am.

Are you having an affair? No, we just hang out together.

Are you listening? You'll do the appropriate thing.

Are you okay? Fine.

Are you whipped, Jesu? It's my mother, that's different.

as a gold digging nymphomaniac. A verdict is expected tonight.

before Mr. Lang offered you half his wife's winning ticket?

Bowling for dollars! I want my cheque, Harry.

but a bowling team took about nine million out of the pot.

But he's got to wear the uniform. I feel for you. You have ambition.

But I can explain. Stay out of my life, Eddie.

But I want to stay here. And do what? Play stickball?

But she had a great personality. So did lmelda Marcos.

but they were the face of my dead father. It's a sign.

But we did win, like I said. But not with your numbers.

But you hated your father. No matter. A sign is a sign.

Call me when you're ready. A meatball sandwich. Really!

Can I get you anything else? Tea, please.

Can we proceed? What did she have done?

Can't say I'm surprised. No? It's funny, I am.

Coffee? No, thanks. I just wanted to...

Come on, Charlie! In a second.

Completely unacceptable. It's all right.

Congratulations, Mr. Token Man. Oh God!

Did you win something? We won something.

Die! No, baby. I'm serious.

Done? Enlarged. So I could be like that.

Especially today. What a treat! You've had a bad day?

Excuse me! Mrs. Lang, how do you feel?

Excuse me? My dead father, God rest his soul.

Fine, Officer. No charge. No, it's the tip...

For me? It's just a trifle.

Forget it. I just don't think you need it.

Get off my foot! We're doing the right thing.

getting paid, bringing it home. She's got to listen to you.

Go in. Say hello. Forget it, she's busy.

God bless you. Stop giving it away to every bum!

Has the jury reached a verdict? We have, Your Honour.

Have you ever won before? Never!

He moved back in. She threw me out.

He said his wife has the flu. She'd work if she was dead!

He says we'll get $100,000 for it. Minimum!

He went to get his wallet... Never let them out the door!

He's got it, huh? Yeah, a couple of years.

Hello? Please, don't ever call me again.

Honey, I'm home. No, you have to leave.

Honey... Do you love me? Of course I love you.

How can I? I want you to have it.

How long were you married? Three years.

How many are on the team? Average team is twelve guys.

I can't believe this! I can't listen to this screaming.

I certainly hope not. It's close.

I couldn't afford to get divorced. Well, that's convenient!

I couldn't get the floor. Don't worry, give me some!

I couldn't just lie like that. A boat! I've never been on one.

I got to get my coat. Bye bye.

I guess he wants some food. Shall we invite him in?

I have some ideas for you... Weirdest thing happened.

I haven't thought about it yet. A promise is a promise.

I hoped you'd say that. I'll bet! Better luck next time.

I just tried to make you happy. No, that's not all.

I knew this was a bad idea. I just wanted to see it again.

I know just what you mean. Yvonne!

I love you. Don't you get it?

I mean, I've seen some offices... Walter, please.

I miss you, man. I'm going out of my mind.

I passed by the other day. And you didn't come in?

I think this is sturgeon. Definitely not.

I'd never met him before. Really?

I'll live! I can't not leave a tip.

I'll never see you again. You'll see me tomorrow.

I'm just soaking my feet. Please!

I'm sure they were. Will there be anything else?

I've died and gone to heaven. Hi Yvonne, congratulations.

I've got to change my number. Hello, please leave a message.

I've ruined your life. I feel like half of me is missing.

If you ever need any advice... I will be calling.

In a minute. Are you whipped?

Is this your biggest tip? Definitely!

It's five dollars. Oh, come on!

It's like velvet. Scottish salmon. The very best.

It's not a joke. No? What you're saying to me...

It's not bad, for a Californian. You're not kidding. Fooled me.

It's only across the street. What, that place? Oh, no...

Jesu! Vien aqui, la comida. I'm coming, Mom!

Keep the change. Thank you.

Kill anybody today? Didn't even wound anybody.

Look! From the officer. That's sweet, honey.

Mail it to Yvonne's Coffee Shop. It's a good idea.

Miss Biasi, what will you buy? A car? An apartment?

Miss, we've got to run. After that whole routine?

Most people would do the same. Nobody would!

Mr. Patel told me. Hi, I'm your accountant.

Mrs. Lang? Your reaction? Justice was done.

No. No?

Now I'm at peace with myself. I'm glad, sweetheart.

Now I'm happy. I'm glad, sweetheart.

Now that's coffee! So, what'll it be?

Objection! What is the relevancy? Motivation.

Oh my God, the boat! Oh, no! Wait!

Oh. Well, that's sweet. I guess.

Okay, once I grabbed her arm... No further questions.

Or every other day, or weekends. Or we could get two.

Oreos, Smuckers... Exactly.

Our anniversary is the 27th. We always celebrate on the 26th.

Our whole marriage was like this. It was not.

Rats? Big ones.

Right, fate... Yes. Really.

See? I agree.

shared a bowl of soup with me.

She likes you, she really does. I was trying to cheer her up.

She produced a nice son, right? You're okay.

She's got a boss from hell... Why not give her all the money?

Shut up! Call a doctor.

simply a decent human being. Something you couldn't...

Since when did this bother you? Since now, okay?

Single or double? A single.

Smoking or non smoking? Non smoking.

So I want a divorce. You want a divorce?

So why do we go out on the 26th? I don't know, maybe it's custom.

So you promised Miss Biasi half? As a tip.

So... You've had bad luck? Unbelievable!

Stay away from those. What about Treasury Bills?

Stop eating my macadamia nuts! Give me a kiss.

Store alarm on Spring Street... Well, I'm full!

Sure you can! Sure I can't!

Sweetie... I'm okay.

Thank you. Will there be anything else?

That agreement... Let's make it your choice.

That guy sets a nice tone. Yeah, like a drill sergeant.

that he deliberately deceived his wife about.

that in my dream, my dead father came.

that Mr. Lang is responsible for the winning ticket.

That was the cop. That's the waitress.

That's because my ex husband... Just answer yes or no.

That's unbelievable! We're rich!

That's why we have public schools. Just get the ticket!

The Good Samaritan's Fund. Lotto Lovers.

The jackpot? We're rich, rich, rich!

Then he gives me coffee for free. Shit! How do we play it?

Then it comes off your pay cheque. But I have sick days coming!

There's a lot of people here. Isn't it great?

There's really a robe? Terry cloth.

They're not on the floor... Knicks tickets? For me?

They're right there... Amazing, but true.

This is going to be hard to top. I'll top it.

This is living. And it's just beginning.

This looks like Beirut! Isn't it great?

This neurotic part of me says... Accept it!

This whole thing is unbelievable! My money's on Yvonne.

through well chosen mutual funds.

to stake their claim in the state's $64 million lotto jackpot.

Too soon? No, not at all.

Unbelievable! Make yourselves comfortable.

Under 15,000 a year... Shall I speak to them? Love to.

Very good. Very busy. No unjustified price increases?

We can't afford to have kids. Of course we can!

We concede the point. That's a very mature attitude.

We go get change. No, you have to break this.

We're happy, that's all. Very happy.

We've no cantelope or g****fruit. I'm not hungry.

We've spent so much time together. Maybe that's why.

Well, I'll be here. You've got a deal.

Well, that's a hopeful sight. You think?

Well! Yvonne's. She bought it a few weeks ago.

Well... goodnight. Come in.

Were you wearing a gun? Of course not.

What a great idea. She's some girl. Smart.

What about that door? Basement. Just rats.

What an incredible woman you are. You have no idea!

What are we having? BLT down with turkey bacon.

What are your birthday's numbers? 12, 16, 64.

What did they say? My chances are slim to none.

What do we do? Wait, till he leaves.

What hotel, Charlie? The Holiday Inn on Ninth.

What if he doesn't leave? He'll leave. Just shut up!

What is this, a soup kitchen? I made a mistake.

What is this? It must be a mistake.

What the hell is she doing? She's pissed, whatever it is.

What would you do? I'd buy the Knicks.

What's back there? Nothing.

What's going on? They're treating everybody.

When are you retiring? I'm not retiring! Get off my case.

When those radios go off... Where, where?

where people pray for miracles every day.

where people prayed for miracles. And sometimes they happened.

where the boys dress like chefs. And there might be a fire drill...

Where you going? A hotel.

where you sit with Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee.

Where's Muriel? Mrs. Lang just stepped out.

Where's my chair? I gave it to Goodwill.

Which is? I don't know. That's your field.

who took her money and fled the country.

Why am I so nervous? I don't know.

Why didn't you just shoot him? Too many customers.

Will you stay on the force? I'll buy the force!

wishing it could be more.

With all my heart. Yvonne, take it!

Yes. So your husband picked 26?

Yo, Charlie! Jesu!

You all right, man? Yeah... I'm great.

You all right? Oh, my God!

You become this other person. I feel bad for you, baby.

You can say that again! And it's just beginning.

You can't be serious! It takes two minutes.

You can't stay here. Out! Why? You expecting company?

You decided not to be an actress? I decided to become a waitress.

You decided not to be an actress? I decided to become a waitress.

You don't want to be with me. What are you talking about?

You go around with this girl! I'm not having an affair.

You got the numbers wrong! Wrong?

You had them done. Had what done?

You hit her, didn't you? I never, ever...

You insulted him. Next time, you talk!

You mean, you and her... We're history.

You think I'm nuts, but we'll win. I didn't say you were nuts.

You want some coffee? Please.

You won't see your wife? I mustn't surprise her at work.

You're a hero? Play with one hand. If I could, I would.

You're all dreaming. Quit the socialising!

You're back. I said I'd be back.

You're doing great! I never had great balance.

You're talking a million dollars! Walter, please!

Your knees. That's the problem. One of them!

Yvonne? So it's Yvonne already?

...$3,611. I insist we split this 50 50.