Ellie & Natasia Soundboard Edit

A big new shipment of little babies

A cactus

About a week. OK

About how to become more attractive. The internet is poison

Alf, how exciting is this-! Your head could end

Alf, look at what you've won

Alf, the top of your head has gone to the top of our leaderboard

Alf, this is crazy, how do you feel

Alf, you're our new leader

Alf!

All our voices, and everything- Yes

And also pierce your baby's ears

And appeal to people

And guess what- I'm well, I'm doing good,

And I won't apologise for it. No, don't

And I'm a danger to a lot of people

And I'm always here to hello and make your beauty

And if you look straightforward for me, please. OK

And it'll just, and it'll just record us- Yeah, it will

And then I'd have, like, women kind of floating like dark

And then we could look just like them

And there will be just so many people on their knees,

And this is King Henry VIII

And welcome to our vlog, Mums The Word. Mums The Word!

And you were just going to wrap that breast up in the parma

And you're going to thumb in a blob of cream cheese into the centre

Angels, and they will be singing..

Another quick look in there- Absolutely fine,

Apparently, it's pretty whiffy

Are you excited, Alf- How do you feel

At-home event for a mum, and that is girls night

Basically, I've had some itchiness in both of my eyes. OK

Be with me. Just come and be with me

Because at the end of the day, we're just a couple of mums

Bit tucked up there, aren't you

Blob, blob at the end of a willy. I know, it's nice

BOTH- Chuck it, yeah

BOTH- Let's find out

BOTH- Nails

BOTH- Would Sir like some ceramics

But could it be Britain's smelliest smell

But I'm using my index and fore, so I can get right

But they can be quite loud sometimes

But this absolutely stinks

But what would you leave me in your will

Can I help you

Can I please buy this cactus

Can I please get this cactus

CAR ALARM BLARES

Cheers. Cheers

Come in a little bit closer

Come on, then

Cool. Well, I'm just looking for a present for my sister,

Cos I'm definitely not going to need them where I'm going

Cos it'll be all my lovers just sobbing,

Cos they'll have never known love like the love they felt for me

Cos they'll just spend it straight away on drugs. Yeah

Cup and fidging spinning

Curling your hair, wax your pussy,

Darling. That little slut just sat there wide open

Describe yourself in, like, five words

Did you know that a flat white

Directly at me, please, straightforward

Do you know what we are going to do

Do you know what- I called Hubby the other day

Dreams come true

DRILLING AND BANGING

ELECTRONIC POP MUSIC SHE RAPS- # I gotta have you, boy

Ellie, this is what I'm saying, we are going to become more like

For a first-time succulent. Something more manageable

For all this. You're right. It's not

For the dress code. Wow. So it's quite dramatic

From a young lad about the top of his uncle's head

Get you some more bin bags, and guess what

God, I can't stop laughing. It's good

God, I feel alive after that, it's so good being creative,

Gosh, I'm just chuckling away here. Gosh, you are laughing a lot

Has Sir ever been with a succulent before?

Have I told you recently that I really got into reggae

HE PLAYS POP SONG This is reggae at its best

Hello there, good morning, my name is Flute

Hello, are you Mr Alf Sill

Hello, madam, how can I help- What you want, look like Princess Angel

Hello, welcome to internet nails

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Lemily and Cassandra here

Help. HELP!

Hi, I didn't realise this was here

HIGH-PITCHED TWITTERING ..like, religious noises

How are you this afternoon

How do you...- First place in Britain's smelliest smell!

How have you done it, man

How much does this cost

I am, I am so, I'm so sorry, I must have tripped

I can also fix..

I can't believe it. Are you OK- I feel sick

I can't believe it. I'm going to go in again

I don't know... How can you trust that it's actually going to work

I feel exposed. I feel sick

I feel like I just filmed a porno. Oh, darling. I feel raw

I get that maybe once a day

I guess I'd leave you my condoms,

I just can't stop laughing. You all right

I just filmed that whole thing with the kettle in that state

I know you can't smell this at home, you never can,

I put a bee on a lead. My favourite one is green

I think for my funeral, I'd probably have,

I think get them off cos their mine

I think you did

I want it to be a 10m x 10m grey slab, completely blank

I want to get on the bus. No, please! No. Please!

I'm collecting opticians in my eye

I'm coming

I'm getting right into the velvet of that chicken

I'm going to drive the Nissan round, OK

I'm going to go over here

I'm going to pop in, pop to the retail park,

I'm just going to dim the lights, and start with the left

I'm just going to... Wide for me, please

I'm pretty sure the devil only likes to have sex ra-a-aw dawg

I'm probably have to be buried in them now

I'm scared of my shop. I've done a drawing of my dad

I'm still a bit tucked up

I've actually got some CDs. No way. No, thank you. Absolutely not

I've been thinking a lot about my gravestone

I've done some drawings of some cactuses that Sir

I've never seen you laugh so much. I can't breathe. You OK

I've shamed my family. Oh, dear

I've told you, stop talking to me about your death

In our executive kitchen

Internet nails

Into the secrets of that breast

Is basically just a latte with less milk- You're joking. I know

Is highly appreciated

Is it, is everything OK

Isn't it- It really is. Cass, have you got any more bin bags

It's a brand-new TV

It's just like a whole old egg

It's just, like, dance mixed with tribal, yeah, exactly

It's like an egg. Are you all right

It's literally the only thing I can think about,

It's the only certainty I have in life

It's the only thing on my mind,

It's time for me to get this

Just one nail. Excellent choice

Kiss me

Kiss me here, just kiss me

Least one girls night penned in per day

Leave him. Why

Leave him. Why

Let's get in and give it a smell. Come on in

Let's get smelling. Let's get smelling

Let's see your prize. Come on, Greg. Bring it in

Like, I don't know, leather and lace theme

Listen, Ells, I found this amazing article online

Little girls. You know, the smallness of a woman

Living the dream

Look at the kettle lid. It is up, it is wide up

Look at this, Alf, look at what you've won

Look, you've gone mad, you've gone absolutely... The sexy baby, what is that- No!

Love

Love is such a source of anxiety

Max, that you might have a bit of a pongy head

Might like to spend some time with

Mr Sill, we've had a tip-off from your nephew,

Mums, it is so important to treat yourself. It is, yeah

MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

MUSIC- Return To Innocence by Enigma

MUSIC- Return To Innocence by Enigma

My hubby loves anything with chicken. Mine, too, crazy

My hubby loves chicken,

My name is Donna, and I'm very happy to meet you

My name is Nikki

My name's Gluten

Naughty little babies

No

No, it's so easy, all we have to do is become more like sexy babies

No, no

No, no, no

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No, that's, like, the worst type of person you can give money to,

No. If you just open up wide, I just, I'll get in the other eye

Not for this mess, it's not, sorry. Lemily. What

Nothing to worry about. I'm just going to have a quick..

Of course, but we are a paperless, cardless establishment

Oh, Alf, what have you done there

Oh, darlin', sorry, you're a little

Oh, darling, sorry, but you are, too

Oh, darling, sorry, sorry, but that's not enough bin bags

Oh, darling. Oh, God

Oh, God

Oh, God, I am. I am, but that's

Oh, gosh

Oh, here we go, go on, she's going to make me go now

Oh, my God, I love reggae. I know. It's just that type of music

Oh, no. What kind of a mother am I

Oh, oh!

Oh, shit, there's our bus!

Oh!

Oh... That is, that is quite a smelly smell

Oi! Leave him. Why

OK- OK. OK- OK

OK, a bit like..

OK, and I pre-slitted these,

OK, open up wide. Here I come

OK, so how can I help you today

OK, so, that's about time, isn't it

OK, that's easy. What do you want long lash,

Old TV remote

Ooh

Phwoar! Phwoar!

Please let us apologise for the mess, we've just received

Please, wash further

Please, you must take a seat and relax, also we can do

POP MUSIC PLAYS Life. Life

Princess

Pussy bitch

Right, I'm going to check both eyes out. OK

Sexy babies, and we're going to find endless amounts of love

Shake off your parma, get that nice and long,

Shall we pop in the Nissan- Yeah- Yeah

Shampoo. Oh, really

SHE GROANS

SHE SINGS- # I'm a sexy baby Want my daddy all night

Short lash, spider lash, or long nail, short nail,

So attention-seeking

So can I suggest that you have at

So I thought it was probably worth getting it checked out

So I'll just have a browse

So sorry. So sorry

So we've got some pre-prepped here, don't we- Yeah, we do

So you've got to search for your slit

So, I know you don't want to talk about it,

So, I'm going to use the pressure of the thumb,

So, it's just so hard for me

Sorry, but I will NOT apologise for it

Sorry, sir, what's that

Sorry, sorry, everyone. All right

Sorry. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. It is, isn't it

Specialising in cactuses and succulents

Surprise!

Take ten minutes clean your pussy up,

Take them on a city break

Tash

Tash- Tash

Tash, we don't need anyone

Thank you very much

That blob at the end of a willy

That's a smelly head, but does it beat Lisa from Crail's

That's about us, that's about us, let's wrap it up!

That's tough

The home of Passion Tropical Beauty

The master right here

The only celebrity people say I look like is Bob Geldof

There is such a strong smell coming from such a lovely head

There's nothing wrong with wanting to look just a little bit younger

These make fantastic gifts for mice

They are laying relationships 25-7, and all we have to do is,

THEY GIGGLE

THEY GROAN

They look like they're going on a fun run

They're sliding down. Look at them

They're very easy-going and don't require much care,

They're very good, but I need something more..

They're very special

Think about Ariana Grande, think about Selena Gomez,

This is a very complex little lady, I wouldn't recommend this

This is Jazz, and this is Pippa,

This one's completely full

This week we'll talk to you about the most important

This week, we find ourselves in Bali, because we've had a tip-off

To commit to anything that's not neon right now. Yeah, yeah

Tollhouse, short titty out on the town, girl!

Top drawer, darling, I'll come round

Up being Britain's smelliest smell

Very quickly, OK

Very small nail

Wait for us to get on the bus

We also can do phone cases, phone charge,

We are a ceramics shop

We are a mobile beauty warehouse located here

We are going to get you a new kettle

We are new, we are a pop-up

We are wrapping. Yeah, just..

We can't sell you something we don't stock

We don't sell that

We just adopted them from a Mehican desert

We sell pea-sized amounts of water

Well, how long has it been out for- About 20 minutes

Well, I got them completely stuck on my feet, so I'm thinking

Well, I've got a few house plants, but no...succulents

Well, the only 100% certainty I have is that I'm alive

What are we going to do with all this

What do you take- It's a secret

What do you think of these boots

What happens when you have kids... BOTH- You get big

What I like to do for my girls night is a chicken package. Yeah. OK

What I think- I think I know what you're going to say

What- What do men like

Where are these lovers coming from- Because you've never had a relationship

Where's the slit- There she is

WHISPERS- Be with me

Who are you raising money for- I love that. Yeah. I love that

Why

Why- Because I'm very long, incredibly efficient,

Wide, open wide

Woof! I've just gone in for a final time with this head, and you know

Wow!

Yeah, and how long have you felt like that for

Yeah, blob of cheese. I'm going to come round

Yeah, everything's fine. Do you mind if I just have

Yeah, good

Yeah, that is actually a common misconception about thumbing in,

Yeah, that's nice

Yeah. Do you know what, that is smut

Yeah. I feel like I've been ridden

Yeah. Oh, God, I am. You are, yeah

Yeah. Oh, my God, this guy, this is pure reggae!

Yes

Yes, please

Yes! Love it. Play those tunes! Ride the rhythm

Yes! You're alive. I feel incredible

Yes. I love this

Yes. Roll with me, roll with me

You are using your index and the middle, instead of the actual thumb

You just turn it on, darling. Do you- Yeah

You know, wear more pink, put some bows in our hair,

You...You're sitting... You just kissed me

You've got to have something written on your gravestone

..a motorway

# But be sexy, too... #

# Change my nappy, Daddy

# Change my nappy, Daddy

# Daddy You know the milk I like

# Goo-goo goo ga-ga, baby Goo-goo ga

# Goo-goo goo ga-ga, baby Goo-goo ga

# Goo-goo goo ga-ga, baby Goo-goo ga

# Goo-goo goo ga-ga, baby Goo-goo ga. #

# I gotta get your attention

# I'll be your sexy baby

# I'll be your sexy baby You'll be my baby dada

# I'll do what you want Wax all the hairs off my body

# I'll finish it off with a big bow and a nappy made into a thong

# I'll grow my hair really long Really long

# I'll make my body really small Really small

# I'm a sexy baby

# I'm feeling sexual So we should be sexual

# I'm not a kid, but I try and look 12, feeling really cute

# Just say you feel the way that I feel

# Just say you feel the way that I feel. #

# Make me happy, Pappy

# Make me happy, Pappy

# Me want your D in my V and me want it

# Sucking on a dummy But I'm naked, so it's all right

# There's only one thing I could do for you and that's act like a baby

# Too young to read and write

# Want it all night, all night

# When I brown myself

# When I dress my age You laugh and call me Granny

# When I mess myself

# When I poo myself

# When I poo myself

# When I poo myself

# You know how to do me right

# You'll be my baby dada