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Home > Will Ferrell Soundboard
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
A christmas tree buddy chopped it down in the park
A special one what a bunch of hippie dippie baloney
Absolutely ma'am i'd love to sign your baby you're not gonna wanna wash that forehead you hear me
Actions have consequences
Al now brown cow how now brown cow al now brown cow
All i'm asking for is total perfection
All those races I won that was for you you know that I did just like you told me if you ain't first you're last
And thanks for stopping by but mainly stay classy
Are you really the decider? #will ferrell #decision maker #george w bush #boss
Awful #terrible #hot ones
Behold minion metro man's cape look closely tell me what you see dandruff yes it's his dna
Blue you're my boy thank you sir
Boo Will Ferrell Sounds
Bunk bed looks amazing
But a home i mean where in all of god 's green goodness
But as unspecial as I am you are a thousand billion times more unspecial than me
But I had something far far greater my amazing intellect and knack for building objects of mayhem
But I really wanted to see you and I think you're beautiful and I um I feel really warm when I am around you and um my tongue swells up
But now I am too hurt I am shocked and offended and hurt
But we bought it at the toy store we did but the way i'm using it makes it an adult thing
By the way I think you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world
Can't wait to see my dad we're gonna go ice skating and eat sugarplums
Christmas is right around the corner and what better gift to give a loved one than the jackhawk 9000 available at wal mart
Coffee sales are through the roof sir glad to hear it let's rebuild that roof to be even higher! the roof team is on it
Dad i'm in love i'm in love and I don't care who knows it
Dear 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant jesus don't even know a word yet just a little infant and so cuddly but still omnipotent
Dear god Will Ferrell Sounds
Dear lord baby jesus or as our brothers to the south call you jesus we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of domino's kfc and the always delicious taco bell
Dear tiny jesus in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny little fat balled up fists
Did we just become best friends?!
Did you eat peanut butter or something you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here
Did you want to hear me say it i'll say it here it is from the blackest part of my heart I am sorry!
Discovered by the germans in 1904 they named it san diago which of course in german means a whale's vagina
Do you like guacamole?
Does santa know that you left the workshop
Don't worry about this big black monolith thing that's blocking out the sun
Don't you know I would never say the word fuck I would never fuckin' ever fuckin' say that! ever!
Don't! stop! she's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak willed mind to find out all our secrets
Enough with the easy questions #will ferrell #too easy #too smart #interview #questions
Everyone turn away things are gonna get crazy we're gonna make animal noises
Fighting scene
For god 's tricky
Get out just go we are through through! because of your actions you scorpion woman
Go fuck yourself san diego
Go fuck yourself san diego
Happy Birthday Derek!
Happy birthday to you #happy birthday #happy birthday song #sing happy birthday #hbd #will ferrell
Hard time in a pickle
Have a good day oh I forgot to give you a hug
He bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant gifts of deliciousness
He must be a south pole elf
He took the name metro man defender of metrocity I decided to pick something a little more humble megamind
He's an angry elf
He's an imposter!
He's not santa claus! he's not santa!
Hell you're just a bag of bones
Hello Miss Lady
Hello neighbor Will Ferrell Sounds
Hello this is ron hello who's there i'm talking hello who is this
Help me jesus! help me ******* god!
Hey guys great job on the radio station thank you sir we love listening to this song over and over again
Hey have you seen these toilets they're ginormous
Hey y'all dont say that
His strength's too much! oh I work out!
Honestly if I didn't know any better i'd think this was your first day of being evil
How do I look minion do I look bad disgustingly horrifying sir
How long do you think you'll be with us I hadn't really planned it out but I was thinking like forever
I appreciate it guys just trying to help out even though it was weird and perverse
I believe it's jogging or yogging it might be a soft j i'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time it's supposed to be wild
I better take the lead this way looks exciting no it says exit which is the abbreviation for exciting right
I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many I don't know if you heard me counting I did over a thousand
I can taste it on my tongue
I could be wrong but I believe diversity is an old wooden ship that was used during the civil war era
I did fart
I didn't know you had elves working here
I don't know
I don't know how to put this but i'm kind of a big deal
I even wrote it down in my diary veronica had a very funny joke today I laughed at it later that night
I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis
I feel like I'm in Highlander #wow #highlander #will ferrell #dream #fantasy
I have very little time to get to the gym so I have to sculpt my guns at the office
I honestly thought I was going to be ****d for a second
I hope that both of you have sons handsome beautiful articulate sons who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away!
I immediately regret this decision
I immediately regret this decision
I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain but I didn't have a mountain I had a newsroom and a camera
I know it's hard to understand but this is dad's stuff okay all of this that you see before you is all your father's and everything is thought out very
I like to whisper too
I literally didn't even listen #hot ones #didnt hear your question #what did you say #not listening
I look good i mean really good everyone coming feel goo
I love scotch scotchy scotch scotch here it goes down down into my belly
I love the way they're talking to you 'cause they're winners winners get to do what they want
I love you (explicit)
I love you so much
I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen
I need to get my drink on #get my drink on #will ferrell
I realize that but sometimes you got to look in the mirror and say 'when in rome'
I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you
I remember when I had my first beer
I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice honor and nobility I am your father
I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!
I want to be on you
I want to be on you (2)
I was eight days old and still living with my parents how sad is that
I will not eat cat poop
I'll drop that mother fucker
I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the eiffel tower out of metal and brawn that's what kind of man I am
I'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song!
I'm going to punch you in the ovary that's what i'm gonna do a straight shot right to the babymaker
I'm not a baby i'm a man I am an anchorman
I'm not gonna call him dad
I'm not messing with you it's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture
I'm not prepared I really am not prepared at all this is a surprise i'll tell you
I'm not stupid no one lives forever no one but with advances in modern science and my high level of income I mean it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245 maybe 300
I'm not sure what to do with my hands be good to hold them down by your side
I'm ron burgundy
I'm shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots
I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets
I'm the bad guy I don't save the day I don't fly off into the sunset and I don't get the girl i'm going home
I'm very important I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany
If I take one bite will you get me a steak if I take one bite of shit will you bring me a steak
If my parents could see me now sir i'm sure they're smiling down from evil heaven
If you ain't first you're last (2)
Imagine the most horrible terrifying evil thing you can possibly think of and multiply it by six!
Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy
Internet Ate it Up #will ferrell #midnight with chris hardwick #george w bush #viral #internet #meme
It is a crappy cup of coffee no it's the world's best cup of coffee
It looks amazing
It seems i'm i'm not an elf of course you're not you're 6 foot 3 and had a beard since you were 15
It's not gonna be fine! Ever! #not ok #never gonna be fine #will ferrell #conan
It's not personal it's just business lord business
It's not very shiny
It's so damn hot milk was a bad choice
It's terrible! she has beautiful eyes and her hair smells like cinnamon!
Just as I thought your good cop side's making you soft bad cop
Just think about it we have it all yet we have nothing it's just too easy now
Just watch out for the guns they'll get you
Ladies and gentlemen could i please have your attention
Last time I looked in the dictionary my name is ron burgundy
Let's dance dick weed
Lick my butthole
Long Fart
Look the most glorious rainbow ever do me on it
Minion i'm a villain without a hero a ying with no yang a bullfighter with no bull to fight in other words I have no purpose
My finger has a heartbeat
My giant blue head!
My papa yeah he didn't make master tinker till he was 490
My penis is tingling right now
Ninety eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives the darkness is creeping towards you whether you know it or not so a little planning can go a long way
No but things worked out pretty good they gave me a restraining order
Not even if there's a fire
Now hit the showers!
Now I suggest you and your wife mrs jim beam you guys go take a chill pill
Now my evil power will be unlimited! can you feel me
Oh I almost forgot I won't be able to make it fellas veronica and I are trying this new fad called jogging
Oh no we woke up the momma
Oh wow that was a great inspiring legend that you made up
Oh you don't know what's good for bad
Oh you're a villain all right! just not a super one!
Oh! ooh wow it's sucky oh wonderful yes
Ok titan it's time to go down in style
Ollo it's hello hello like that
Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter that's it that is it!
Prime minister of malaysia bad awards come on
Reaction to Summer Break #summer break #school #students #summer
Ricky first of all where did you learn to drive like that in a car car handle really good yeah
Roundhouse your ass
Sh shut your mouth
She will never find out that's the point of lying
She's really great i'd also like to share with you that we are currently dating and that she is quite a handful in the bedroom
Should've known you'd try to crash the party oh I intend to do more than crash it
Shrug #will ferrell #shrug #whatever #george w bush #you got me
Sleepwalking Coffee
So dad I planned out our whole day we'll make snow angels and then we'll go ice skating then eat a roll of toll house cookie dough as fast as we can and then to finish we'll snuggle
So did you uh sleep okay last night great I got a full 40 minutes
So good news I saw a dog today have you seen a dog you probably have
So you're like my space dad yeah i'm like your space dad
Son of a bee sting she's turning the entire office agai
Songbird of my generation
Susan i've never heard you talk like that are we about to get it on because i'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now
Syrup in coffee why didn't I think of that can I try some
Thanks but I don't sing oh it's easy it's like talking except louder and longer and you move your voice up and down
That idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on
That's it be free my beautiful dove!
That's super frustrating it makes me just wanna pick up whoever is standing closest to me and throw them through this window and out into the infinite abyss of nothingness!
That's when I learned a very hard lesson good receives all the praise and adulation while evil is sent to quiet time in the corner
The box for this one said ages 8 to 14 that's a suggestion they have to put that on there
The Gossip Queen Handshake
The ninjas are trying to get me the ninjas are trying to get me
The power of flight invulnerability and great hair
The room's starting to spin real fast because of gayness
Then it hit me if I was the bad boy then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all
These bears are massive they looked a lot smaller from up there
They named it san diego which in german means a whale's vagina
This burrito is delicious but it is filling
This house is a fucking prison on planet bullshit!
This House is a Prison
This is gonna be terrible #going to be bad #hot ones #going to be terrible
This next meeting could run a little bit deadly
This place reminds me of santa's workshop except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me
Titan what's that supposed to mean it was the only name I could trademark
Toilet Paper
Turn the music off! i'm still talking!
Uh oh sounds like someone needs to sing a christmas carol
Wait a minute pick up attempt i'm offended
Was that a fart?
We are laughing and we are very good friends good buddies sharing a special moment
We elves try to stick to the four main food groups candy candy canes candy corns and syrup
We just have so much to be thankful for first off my sons no longer act like retarded gangbangers amen