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Home > Fathers Soundboard
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
All fathers care for their sons
And most importantly I told him where his father was in a magical land called new york city
Can't wait to see my dad we're gonna go ice skating and eat sugarplums
Dad dad dad you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination thank you thank you
Dad'll do anything to get you to go to sleep
Didn't know you had a famous father did you surprise!
Do it dad get your balls back go fast again
Don't bother your daddy now just go work it out amongst yourselves
Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice guy but my father's nice and he's not funny either
Don't worry dad I read your dumb instructions stop yelling at me
Don't worry you've got daddy here he's got credit cards and cash
Donny shut up will ya daddy's making love to new mommy
Excuses excuses you're just like your father i've listened to his miserable excuses for 10 years the loser!
Father what's wrong with you
He was my father my entire life we were friends I loved him and now he's dead except for his hair and nails dead
Hey! what did daddy just get you for your birthday huh a rake that's right an excellent rake a birthday rake so when you clean the yard you don't have to pick up the leaves with your hands
I bet you make your daddy so proud don't you beautiful
I don't care how mad I was i'd talk to my dad especially around the holidays
I don't understand if you're my father that would make me a a god
I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will please please come and rescue me
I know it's hard to understand but this is dad's stuff okay all of this that you see before you is all your father's and everything is thought out very
I learned how to mix drugs when I was little heroin cocaine all of it my dad taught me that was about the only thing he taught me before he was killed
I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice honor and nobility I am your father
I smelled your shit for 22 years now you can't smell mine for five minutes
I treat my subjects servants children wife with a firm but gentle hand noblesse oblige
I understand your father's dead and already he's a graffiti gag on subway walls
I want more life father
I won't talk to you ever again you're a rotten mean father! you never give me anything I want! and I won't go to school till I have it
I'm tired of sweating for people who aren't there I sweat to pay off my father's debts and he's in his grave
I've come to collect your father
If I become human i'll never be with my father or sisters again
Is daddy in trouble yes shall I pray for him yes pray very hard me too you too tommy
It is tough for the kid that her old man is so stupid
It was my father john and when he talked people listened and they'll listen to you too
It's hard growing up with a cynical father
Jeez he's starting to sound like the old man pretty soon he'll be sending me out for beers
Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son
Just so you know you're never gonna be my dad hmm I think I can live with that
Lori why don't you like me i'm rich i'm good looking my dad owns the company
Mama what's vacation mean vacation where daddy went
Much anger in him like his father
My dad gives money to people that doesn't have money and then people use that money then they give other money back and they give the same amount of money back to my dad
My dad is a gynecologist and he looks at vaginas all day long
My dad tells me the truth
My father is not crazy he's a genius
My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything
My papa yeah he didn't make master tinker till he was 490
No I am your father
No ma'am I haven't seen my daddy in years but my mama say he's out racing cars and well dipping his wick in anything that moves
Now children don't judge your father too harshly after all he really loves you very much
Now don't you worry son your father had a plan in mind all the time
Oh father every one of those sweeps shook your hand you're going to be the luckiest person in the world!
Oh jeez take a look at this dad really got into the beers eh
Our father died only a few days ago that's why I was away he asked for you to be there but there was only me
Our forefathers brought four fathers did lincoln have four fathers
Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine
Poor nana oh yes poor nana but poor father oh no!
See if you can tell which of these pigs is your mother and father
She's lonely since daddy died sometimes she says she don't know why
So dad I planned out our whole day we'll make snow angels and then we'll go ice skating then eat a roll of toll house cookie dough as fast as we can and then to finish we'll snuggle
So you're like my space dad yeah i'm like your space dad
Sometimes I fall asleep but my father never does that's good because one time when I was sleeping the shogun sent his soldiers for me
Take me home daddy
Teacher! i'm your son but you're a monk!
Thank heaven my father will be the judge
That was the first time I ever saw my father spare the life of an enemy
That was the first time i'd ever seen my father kill anybody but it wasn't the last I got used to it though
That was when my father left his samurai life and became a demon
That's the saddest thing i've ever seen in my life that boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race and he never shows up
The firemen came and broke through the chimney top and me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird and instead they pulled out my father
The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day
The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy
There'll be another boat for the daddies this boat is for the mummies and the children
Time does fly fast my son it seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed and now you're a man who's about to be married
We're going to play a game called who is my daddy and what does he do
Well it'll just happen like the way I met your father that was so stupid grandpa hit him with the car
When we're on the mission I keep count of how many ninjas my father kills
Yeah their fathers are douchebags just like their fathers before them
You are here because the outside world rejects you this is your family I am your father
You could do with a makeover I tried to give you my good looks but let's face it something went wrong
You know I had a crazy dream last night it was about you I dreamt I was your father
You now have two choices swear eternal loyalty to your master or commit harakiri with your son
You sound just as corny as dad does
You're the son of a thousand fathers all bastards like you
Your dad he's a fun guy right so maybe you could put in a word with him and he'd kinda blow this whole thing off you know
Your father left us nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden by a good name that name is the only card we have to play
'cause nobody messes with your dad