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Home > Whitney Cummings Soundboard
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Whitney Cummings Soundboard

Whitney Cummings Soundboard

Whitney Cummings is an American stand-up comedian, actress, writer, director, producer, investor and podcaster. Cummings was born September 4, 1982, in New York City, U.S. Cummings is a comedian, actor, writer and producer. Cummings is also a writer, producer and investor.
See also: Whitney (TV series), Chelsea Handler, Taylor Tomlinson, The Female Brain (film), Kat Dennings, and Chris D'Elia.

But even then we're like, Oh my God, that guy is homeless. That is so sad. Do you have a dollar? Give him a dollar.
But for a girl to get called crazy, we just have to send you 2 text messages in a row.
Every day is Sunday for us. You guys say the meanest things to these athletes, the meanest things, like they're watching Tom Brady and they were like, Tom Brady, you suck.
Gabe, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I don't know what I do, OK, this is true. I just need you to say she's right.
I just wish these athletes would stand up for themselves, you know, against these horrible things you say. I wish just one time Tom Brady would look directly into the camera and be like, hey man, f...
It was just one time Tom Brady would look directly into the camera and be like, hey man, fuck you, I got this.
Listen to it, stay true and let's move on.
She's fucking crazy, man. She's fucking stalking me, bro. She's obsessed with me, man. I'm like, I don't know. I'm not crazy. I'm just locked out of the house can.
Somebody is.
Stop defaulting to your brain.
That's. Then I'm gonna go eat cucumbers with BBQ sauce on them. Then I'm gonna get mad at him again because he suggested we see a Scarlett Johansson movie. What the fuck is that?
The same thoughts that got you in this situation cannot get you out.
You know what?

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