Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) - Season 1 Edit

A 70 year old baby who knows how to bust your balls.

A A dry California chardonnay would be nice.

A According to Google Maps, one could drive there in 14 minutes,

A And I see you have brought your very handsome son with you.

A And the window to his room is wide open.

A And what I said was true.

A big chunk of ugly.

A big screen TV with all the movie channels.

A big, swinging bag of them.

A bird may love a fish,

A brush with death, and that changes people.

A chicken bone.

A Club Med icare, if you will.

A crocodile had bitten off his tail,

A family run business since 1973.

A fancier word like "vermilion."

A few months into dating an American woman,

A football that's a Nerf.

A friend with a dead husband.

A good son would put her needs first.

A handwritten note encouraging her to shove it.

A jam?

A kind word, a gesture?

A kind word, a gesture.

A little birdie told me.

A little fond of the g****?

A little full of himself for aman who can't tie his own shoes.

A little hungover but okay.

A little wider.

A lonely friend.

A lonely old woman with a faded tramp stamp.

A man after my own heart.

A man choked on a granola bar,

A match? I do not want a match.

A match? I do not want a match.

A moment ago, you asked us to tell you

A moment ago, you asked us to tell you

A mother can dream, right?

A mother can dream, right?

A mother can dream, right?

A natural extension of the MaxDot brand.

A Nigerian sheriff.

A Nigerian woman brings up her child.

A patient at the hospital.

A penny a point.

A potato is a vegetable.

A real Nigerian meal.

A shine?

A single mom working seven days a week

A toast.

A tummy tuck and a boob job.

A very goodtruck.

A wheelchair.♪ I'll say it again, war

A whole beer.A sip.

A woman out there who can see past those flaws.

A woman who only existed in your imagination

Aaayyh.Aaayyh.

Abishola deserved.

Abishola had no chance of meeting somebody

Abishola is a good Christian girl.

Abishola is my sister's daughter.

Abishola is the closest thing we have

Abishola needs to finalize her divorce in Nigeria.

Abishola needs to finalize her divorce in Nigeria.

Abishola needs to finalize her divorce in Nigeria.

Abishola will be ready very soon.

Abishola will have tea with you on Tuesday afternoon.

Abishola will have tea with you on Tuesday afternoon.

Abishola,

Abishola,

Abishola,

Abishola,

Abishola,

Abishola, don't just stand there.

Abishola, good to see you.

Abishola, I I'm not sure I believe in God,

Abishola, I'm gonna wait in the car!

Abishola, let me introduce

Abishola, look who came to visit.

Abishola, that's not what this is about.

Abishola, wait. I'll walk you out.

Abishola, what I am about to say

Abishola, will you kindly tell my son why not?

Abishola, you get now what I was talking about?

Abishola,come, sit, join us.

ABISHOLA: All right.

ABISHOLA: But if I were

ABISHOLA: Douglas,

ABISHOLA: Good morning.

ABISHOLA: Have you talked to Dele?

ABISHOLA: I don't understand.

ABISHOLA: I don't understand.

ABISHOLA: I, uh, I spoke with Bob.

ABISHOLA: Mrs. Wheeler?

ABISHOLA: Now, on the count of three,

ABISHOLA: Of course.DOTTIE: I've seen the way my Bob

ABISHOLA: Okay, I'll ask again.

ABISHOLA: Okay, Mrs. Wheeler,

ABISHOLA: Okay.

ABISHOLA: That's not true.

ABISHOLA: Very nice.

ABISHOLA: Well,

ABISHOLA: Your mother is taking a nap.

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola?

Abishola? Whoa.

Abishola.

Abishola.

Abishola.

Abishola.Abishola, sorry.

Abishola's aunt and uncle.

Abishola's gonna help me.

Abishola's lovely.

Abishola's mad at me

Abishola's trying to get rid of.

About baby powder causing cancer.

About how hard you work.

About how much you loved your father.

About me bringing Bob to church with us.

About me controlling your life.

About me than you do, and he's only been here a day.

About the jam band?

About Uncle Victor's second wife?

About what I'll be when I grow up.

About what?

About white men is they're very insecure

About, uh,

Above the garage.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Actually,

Actually, AB&J.

Actually, Goodwin and I were thinking

Actually, I do.

Actually, I don't.

Actually, I was planning to spend time

Actually, tell 'em I died.

Actually, that's from Fiddler on the Roof.

Actually, uh, I'd like to give 'em to her myself.

Actually, yes.

After a two session rally that propelled the...

After they put the stents in, you sang me that song.

After which, who knows what might happen?

After your mother's stroke?

Again he talks back!

Again, I am so sorry.

Again, thank you, but I'm sticking with Bob.

Again, trash talk.

Again, very sorry.

Again, you hit my shoe.

Again?

Again.I'm the best in the world!

Ah ah ah.

Ah ah.

Ah, Bob is the lemon she's sucking on.

Ah, Chukwuemeka.

Ah, damn.

Ah, damn.

Ah, damn. Code blue!

Ah, don't worry about Kofo.

Ah, geez, is that an offensive term?

Ah, God.

Ah, heart attacks are hilarious.

Ah, here it is.

Ah, I know I said we'd get you new shoes today,

Ah, I think he's kind of cute.

Ah, it's right there. It's a prix fixe menu,

Ah, just admit that you enjoyed meeting him.

Ah, maybe he went to see Kemi.

Ah, now, that's a good way to get back to sleep.

Ah, screw Jen and Trish.

Ah, so a businessman has come to your house to court you.

Ah, so, you actually thought about it.

Ah, thank you. I'll eat it at work.

Ah, that joke you liked.

Ah, that'd be great.

Ah, that's good. Very good.

Ah, that's my sister. Hang on a second.

Ah, that's wonderful news.

Ah, that's wonderful.You know why?

Ah, they are talking about it in London?

Ah, they're made on the cheap in Vietnam.

Ah, this is nice. Roomy.

Ah, those old hags have had so much Botox,

Ah, trash talk. I love it.

Ah, what a wonderful surprise.

Ah, why didn't you tell me?

Ah, you should cook.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!Ooh, kick me, kick me!

Ah?

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. [chuckles] No.

Ah. And what grades does her Calvin get?

Ah. He works at the CVS.

Ah. I was wrong, too.

Ah. Thank you, Dele.

Ah. Turn out the lights.

Ah. Well, jewelry is different.

Ah...

Ah... bye.

Alcohol will make me well.

All good.

All I got is this roadie of bourbon

All right,

All right,

All right, all right, I'll let you know

All right, all right.

All right, bear in mind, this is what's called a "rough cut."

All right, bye bye.

All right, calm down! I'll be right there!

All right, get to work. Your auntie will make the plan.

All right, I'll do it!

All right, I'll do that.

All right, I'll tell you.

All right, I'm gonna say it out loud:

All right, let me think on it.

All right, let's hear it.

All right, let's try some leg exercises.

All right, listen up!

All right, listen. You didn't want to talk to me in private,

All right, look.

All right, mission accomplished.

All right, Mr. Hemmings, I'm going on break.

All right, Olu, Holu, Lulu...

All right, safe space. That one is on me.

All right, so, uh, this is my stop.

All right, we all just need to stay calm.

All right, we can stop for now.[cries]

All right, what the hell did you say to Abishola?

All right, what's good here?

All right, what's it gonna take?

All right, when she gets here,

All right, you can go now.

All right!

All right! All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Bzz. [chuckling]

All right. Go ahead, then.

All right. I'll be out as soon as I'm done.

All right. I'll tell her you have other priorities.

All right. Just a minute.

All right. Just please hurry.

All right. Sweet dreams.

All right.Just...

All righty.Tell her what you are doing as you are doing it,

All the baseball parks in the country.

All these people will know our business.

All we do is turn a blind eye.

All workers will be limited

All you Africans

All you do is yell at him. How does that help?

All you have to do is say so.

All your hurt feelings and anger will be gone.

ALL: Good night.

Alone at the top.

Alongside the wise old owl.

Also Burt Reynolds. A lot of guys.

Also spam?Yes.

Also, macadamia nuts.

Also, they're cheaper to make. We used the same latex blend

Although I don't know why

Although I wouldn't wear them around an open flame.

Although it's probably not much fun playing in a flood

Always worked.

Always working, always looking for opportunities.

Always worrying about everybody else.

Am I in the north or the south tower of the hospital?

Am I putting

Am I waking up? Am I hungry?

Am I wrong?

Amen.

American fling where you swipe on the selfies

Americans have so much depression.

Americans.

Americans.

Amid positive views on the sector from Wall Street.

Amsterdam. They're on holiday.

And a 32 inch waistline.

And a Ford F 150.

And a little sad.

And a man his age,

And a pharmacist at the CVS.

And Abishola?It's not just that.

And after 48 years it's still going strong.

And afterward, she would bring me an aspirin.

And all I can do is ask for Bob's forgiveness,

And all I heard was you met a nice fella

And all the pretty horses?

And all the pretty horses?

And an underwear model on our board of directors.

And and that no is not a no.

And anyways, we're just working.

And Barcelona and Hamburg and Cape Town.

And bless you.

And Bob's first wedding was downtown,

And bought a dangerous motorcycle

And bought me jelly

And Chukwuemeka is still sending me gifts at work.

And clean the apartment from top to bottom.

And compassion.

And cynical marketing campaigns.

And discuss a plan for your mother's physical therapy.

And do not tell me how to live my life.

And do not tell me how to live my life.

And do what you gotta do.

And does he not have feelings for you?He does.

And don't worry,

And dropped dead on the loading dock.

And employee discount, cost next to nothing.

And enjoyed each other's company very much.

And enjoyed each other's company very much.

And enough frequent flyer miles to take him to Aruba.

And enough frequent flyer miles to take him to Aruba.

And explain what a fool you are.

And far away from us.

And figure out how we can resolve this.

And follow a jam band through Spain,

And for believing in me...

And for God's sake,

And for us.Shh! And for us.

And forgive me for saying,

And found a few small

And funnier.

And get a business degree.

And get Abishola a gift.

And get one of those robot arms Douglas keeps telling me about.

And get you even more savings.

And give her everything she needs to be happy.

And goodbye.

And grow some vegetables.

And had to be terminated.

And hats.

And he is very excited about our marketing ideas.

And he went straight up to heaven.

And he's looking to get back on the horse.

And help me get through the week.

And her son is taking Abishola to dinner tonight.

And here is the part where I'm very clever...

And his name is Max, and my mom's name is Dottie,

And honestly, you're making it worse.

And how do you know about him?

And how do you know he wasn't using you to get to me?

And how does she know how much it cost?

And how I said it.

And how is any of this apologizing

And how'd you come up with that?

And I am a man who keeps his promises.

And I am a man who keeps his promises.

And I am proud of you.

And I am sorry.

And I am with the equally wonderful Kemi.

And I brought this handsome young man

And I can use my thumb now.

And I cannot be there all the time.

And I deliver them in a charming way.

And I do not know why he's there.

And I don't know yet.

And I had to come home and run the business.

And I had to give him the Heimlich maneuver.Oh!

And I had to tell the man at the airport

And I have kept that promise.

And I have to warn you, if this is sexual in nature,

And I just told you:

And I kid you not, I went right with him.

And I know I was pushing you to do something

And I made some lifelong friendships.

And I returned the GoFundMe money

And I said as soon as I can.

And I said I didn't believe.

And I stand by him no matter the consequences.

And I stand by him, no matter the consequences.

And I stood up for myself.

And I think you should join the track team.

And I think you're gonna be very happy.

And I think, "This is it.

And I wanted to be supportive.Supportive?

And I wanted to see how she was doing.

And I would be the horse?

And I would talk to you first.

And I'd like to do it again"?

And I'd like to do that very soon.

And I'll ask it again.

And I'll be right there with you.

And I'll be there as soon as I can.

And I'll give you a clue.

And I'll have my lawyer draw up a prenup.

And I'll have my lawyer draw up a prenup.

And I'll have my lawyer draw up a prenup.

And I'll pull out some nice clothes for you to choose from.

And I'll show Douglas and Bob

And I'm down $280.

And I'm not Olive Oyl, I'm Betty Boop.

And I'm not paying for a good one.

And I'm their mother,

And if he calls,

And if I changed my mind, "the ball is in my court."

And if it is me?

And if my seeing her makes youat all uncomfortable,

And if she's going to get better,

And if they canceled school, me and my friends would

And in all that time, every supervisor

And in my nightstand, next to my bed,

And in my will, I will make you

And in those nice glasses.

And increased our heating bill.

And it makes me very sad.

And it needs to stay in the family.

And it needs to stay in the family.

And it needs to stay in the family.

And it seemed like

And it will just embarrass us both.

And it's just you and me.

And it's right here.

And Iwill decide what is next.

And just end it.

And just so we're clear, if your mom asks

And just the right amount of crazy.

And left on Kofo's scooter.

And let him worship my brains out.

And let's let that be the end of it

And looking hot every step of the way.

And looking out that window, seeing everything covered

And may God bless America.

And may I say, the shape of your head

And maybe does a little good.

And maybe someday,

And me.

And Mom had to buy her a food truck to make it go away.

And most importantly,

And my friend.

And my new friend...

And my trusted executive assistant.

And need to run for your life.

And next week we will take you to our club.

And not break anything.

And now is the time.

And now she's dodging his calls.

And now that it's happened,

And one day,

And one with a weak heart.

And our company insurance policy covers Mom

And pick up our teas.

And pretend I'm someone else!

And public pools.

And put a face to the name.

And roll out with an African nurse.

And safety rails.

And see how fast I throw a chair at you.

And see if I can lift it to my mouth.

And see if that connotes respect?!

And see which one pulls ahead.

And she gives the longest hugs.

And she sent you to tell me?

And she slept with your friend,Gary Gendelhoff.

And she stabbed me with a fork.

And she still smells good.

And she was gonna help you get better.

And she was loved by all

And Siri can kind of understand her now.

And so are 75 people you don't know.

And so are you. Aw.

And so now you need a new girlfriend.

And some women appreciate that.

And somehow, I released the parking brake.

And someone combed your hair.

And sometimes you're funny.

And speaking of stupid, are you out of your freaking mind?

And squeezed him tight.

And stay out of my life.

And staying away from my girlfriend.

And stick anything in your mouth.

And still care about 'em.

And successful...

And take care of me when I'm old.

And take everything we worked for.

And tell him to come by next week.

And tell them that.

And testament over to Goldfischer?

And thank God, otherwise we'd have a life coach

And thank you, Sister Abishola,

And thankfully, Chukwuemeka's mother has

And that's actually really important to me.

And that's all that matters.

And that's all you're gonna say on the subject?

And that's love.

And that's who you have dreams about?

And the beginning of a nice dinner.

And the public at large that we get it.

And the rest?

And the younger wives have to obey her.

And then a squeaking sound.

And then another mole pops up.

And then everybody moves up one.

And then his eyes rolled back in his head,

And then I realize there's so much more.

And then I remember...

And then try to get to my room

And then we'll try to get her to socialize a little.Good.

And then, because you have filled his life with love,

And then, two years ago, we became CVS.

And there was a little flirting going on.

And there'll be no more fighting.

And they would rather pay a stranger to take care of her

And they'll need to start looking

And they'll need to start looking

And they'll need to start looking into

And they're all good nurses, too.

And they're totally healthy.

And think "I am a white man"?

And this bracelet is very special.

And this is Abishola.

And this is all 'cause you're not ready to sleep with him?

And this lady tells the guy she's committed to him,

And this nonsense.

And to come back in the morning.

And Uncle Tunde does not want to give them to you.

And unlike your Detroit water, we could drink it.

And we can all get back to work.CHRISTINA: Bob,

And we know the cheaper you get it,

And we won't tell her.

And we'll do it.

And we'll still be friends either way.

And we're needed here, running this company.

And we're real big on having dreams and stuff.

And what about "he makes me laugh"?

And what about me?

And what about you?

And what did you do today?

And what would you say?

And when I wake up I can't go back to sleep.

And when you graduate,

And when your father went back to Nigeria,

And who is this?

And who is this?

And why are you limping?

And why would he be?

And will running fast help you become a doctor?

And with it, his will to live.

And with the extra money I'm making,

And yanked you right out of there.

And yet you kept seeing his mother.

And you are head of HR.

And you are welcome.

And you call it a silver lining?

And you can't keep smoking pot all the time.

And you cannot choose what you eat?

And you could be one of my orphans.

And you crash in a big ball of fire and everyone dies?

And you find a nice girl.

And you guys are going to love him.

And you have to be honest.

And you just have the one brother and one sister?

And you know how to cut through all my BS with just a look.

And you know where you can stick that "really"?

And you know why?

And you let them?

And you let this happen?

And you like this?

And you mentioned that you sometimes do private care

And you mentioned that you sometimes do private care

And you must win.

And you only had five to go before he died.

And you probably

And you probably

And you tell her that on your way home,

And you will be the misery.

And you will...

And you, too.

And you'll be happy,

And you're a good son.

And you're gonna leave me that beer.

And you're old.

And you're proud of that?

And your mom doesn't have a clue?

And your old man laid into that guy,

And yours.

And, if I changed my mind,

And, if you need anything else,

And, if you're willing,

And, of course, Bluetiful.

And, please, don't give her any more bad ideas.

And, to ensure compliance, no reading materials

And, uh, by the way,

And, you,you my dear Abishola,

And? I think I've got it.

Angry, happy same face.

ANNOUNCER [on TV]: As you know,

ANNOUNCER: You're listening to 91.5,

Another is that your body yearns

Another joke?

Another raisin.

Another round over here!

Answer my question.

Anthony is Italian.

Any chance you can give me a grandchild before I die?

Any more chin chin?

Any more lookie loos.

Any other questions?

Any other questions?

Anybody gonna feed me?!

Anyone else get an "A"?

Anyone?

Anything against your will.

Anything good happen?

Anything interesting happen?

Anything interesting happen?I met your ex wife.

Anything pleasant.

Anything that troubles you.

Anything we can do?

Anything?No, not yet.

Anyway, I won't hold it against you.

Anyway, I'm glad I went.

Anyway, I'm gonna move her into my house

Anyway, I'm gonna move her into my house

Anyway, she has no time for fun.

Anyway, that's my sales pitch.

Anyway, what's going on with your Chukwuemeka?

Apparently, I'm losing 60 pounds by next summer.

Are communicating openly and honestly. Bob?

Are like cellmates serving a life sentence.

Are people of color.

Are spicy tuna on crispy rice.

Are they magic socks?

Are we good?

Are we ready to commit?

Are we still staying for dinner?

Are we sure about that? I mean, come on.

Are you actuallyslowing down in anger?

Are you allergic to peanuts, like me?

Are you busy?

Are you busy? Am I bothering you?

Are you crazy?

Are you deaf? He's Nigerian.

Are you diabetic?No.

Are you enjoying your lobster?

Are you experiencing feelings of abandonment,

Are you getting sick?

Are you getting some?

Are you going to marry the sock man?

Are you having problems?

Are you interested in him?

Are you interested in him?

Are you joking? This is the healthiest thing on the menu.

Are you just coming from work?

Are you listening to my stupid son?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you putting me in a home?

Are you ready for your first day back at work?

Are you saying your dad's got three wives at the same time?

Are you staying for dinner?

Are you still in a good mood?

Are you still in touch with your first husband?

Are you suddenly a believer?

Are you suggesting I go to a psychiatrist?

Are you sure there's not another

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? 'Cause I don't want you

Are you sure? 'Cause I don't want you to do

Are you sure? Absolutely.

Are you sure? I I can find him anywhere.

Are you sure?BOB: Yes.

Are you sure?Shut up and sit.

Are you telling me you do that with all your patients?

Are you thinking of one couple in particular?

Are you thinking of one couple in particular?

Are you thinking of one couple in particular?

Are you trying to cause your Nigerian lady friend

Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Are you trying to make me nervous?

Are you unhappy?

Are you volunteering?

Are you with your mom? No.

Are you...?

Are yousure?

Aren't those my socks?

Aren't you black everywhere?

Aren't you even curious?

Aren't you tired?

As a child.[car lock beeps]

As a matter of fact, when I get better,

As far away from our parents as possible.

As good as the name brand stuff.

As if everything's normal.

As long as dinner is on the table when I come home,

As long as dinner is on the table when I come home,

As long as I don't smell fertilizer

As long as the sky is under $2,500.

As long as we don't get raided by ICE,

As long as you can.

As much as it's different than what I'm used to.

As often as I could.

As soon as possible.

As the Cincinnati Archdiocese canceled classes

As the saying goes, you have gone to the bathroom

As will I. [sighs] Ah.

As you may know, Kofo and I

As you wish.

As you wish.

Ask for Kemi.

Ask why she's a cheating whore.

Ask you how your day was.

Ask your auntie.

At 5:47 this evening.

At a glance,

At dinner, the subject of God came up,

At least bring her somewhere where she feels at home

At least four karats.

At least one of us got shot by Cupid's arrow.

At least parts of you are.

At least talk to someone who knows about these things.

At some point, you and Abishola will lay together.

At some point, you're gonna get better.

At that dumb son of a bitch one more time.

At the Buffalo Wild Wings just for a kiss on the cheek

At the moment of truth, I have a tendency to squeak.

At the restaurant?

At this point, I'm making my own gravy.

At two inner city Roman Catholic schools.

Attaboy.

AUNTIE OLU [whispers]: Tell him no.

AUNTIE OLU: According to tradition,

AUNTIE OLU: Dele, get the door.

AUNTIE OLU: For you.

AUNTIE OLU: Here you go.

AUNTIE OLU: No ice cubes for him.