Encino Man (1992) Soundboard Edit

A dog ? It's not his license.

A weasel, eh ? You wanna be a man, weasel ?

Actually, i, i, i think now..

Against what ? Against butt holes like matt.

All right, everybody. Quiet, please

All right, link. Joke's over

And he's got her. [ chuckles ]

And i'm right here...

And learning about their culture and you said it was okay.

And no one will ever swim in this stupid pool. Hey !

And now everyone knows who we are,

Are you available for a meeting sometime this week ?

Axl. Yeah, buddy.

Ba...Uff ? [ laughing ]

Besides that.

Blades !

Blades... Finally part of the elite.

Boris !

But can i call him linkage ? Cool !

But i found out.

But it was kind of like a harsh ride. O o o ow.

Bye, guys. Drive safely. [ horn honking ]

Call 9 1 1 ! call 9 1 1 !

Cavemens aren't like us, dave.

Check it, buddy

Computer club. computer club. Computer club

Contrast this with hemingway's the sun also rises,

Crosswalk ! crosswalk !

Dave, enrique. Hey, man,

Dave.

Earthquake ! [ rumbling ]

Earthquake ! earthquake !

End of story. [ yelling ]

Fire. Flameage

Five more, man.

Four wheelin' over the ferns.

Fruit group. Sweet tarts.

Give me a boost.

Give me back those pictures.

Go on.

Good catch.

Greasy ? he's a prehistoric pyromaniac.

Great. [ ringing ]

He melted.

He needs a bath... Big time

He was a kid i knew in cub scouts.

He's a looker ! Link

He's gotta learn how to defend himself

Hello, david. Agh.

Hey, come here. Oh, ta ha ha.

Hey, get back here ! They took the polaroids. Uh oh.

Hey, i just washed all this stuff.

Hey, rob

Hey, stone. Hey.

Hey, stop !

Hey, wait

Hey, wait ! Wait up.

Hey, watch it.

Hey, watch it.

Hey, you gotta be equal, equal, fifty/fifty.

Hey.

Hey. Homeslice.

Hi, robyn. Hi, dave.

Hmm ?

I am so glad to see you. Ugh

I got the license plate. It's e684 257

I like that. You know, you pause too.

I think he was saying he likes your cones.

I understand.

I'll be ba ack !

I'll meet up with you guys later. All right, get out.

I'm gonna take you someplace really special

I'm not a geek. i'm a unique weasel, david.

I'm sorry, bud.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I've decided something, stoney. I wanna look back on my high school career,

I've ever witnessed.

I've never seen anything like this. I don't teach that.

If it'll make you feel better, i'll be more mellow with him.

If she does, you're tweaked, buddy.

If you touch her ? Ugh

In our school, right ?

Is he fine or what ? I'm not sure.

Is used and perhaps what uh oh.

It's a dog license, man. Whoa.

It's best for me too, all right ?

It's not happenin', dave. That's not how it works with friends, man.

It's okay.

It's okay. it's okay.

It's unanimous. The vote for prom king...

Junior college.

Just say yes, okay ?

Keep on cruisin'. Uh huh.

Life's about greasin' the do back, buddy and weasin' on the buffest

Link and i had a stoney time at the mountain.

Link, come back here. Stop !

Look, i understand.

Look, i'm sorry. I'll tell you what.

Matthew wilson !

Maybe matt wilson was right about you all along. Take that back.

Milk does a body good. Check her

Mom ! mom ! Open the door !

Mom, there's a guy buried in our pool !

Ms. Morgan, open the door ! Mom !

N no, stop.

Nice element you're hanging out with.

No ! no weasin' the juice.

No one's ever done that before and survived.

No, no. Come here.

No, you take it back. Take it back !

O o o ow. O o o ow.

Of what cro magnon man's everyday life may have been like.

Oh

Oh !

Oh god ! oh god !

Oh god. He is so cool.

Oh god. Rad mobile ! Rad mobile !

Oh man, yeah. You see her ? you see her ?

Oh yeah !

Okay !

Okay, my friend. Try and experience...

Okay, where's he gonna stay ? [ banging ]

Okay.

Okay. okay. You okay ? Uh.

Or not.

Ow o o o !

Perfect ! hold !

Robyn wouldn't piss on your gums if your teeth were on fire.

Shush ! Trust me.

Steady it ! Give it more gas, more gas !

Stoney, come on, man. Hang with me.

Stoney, let's move on. We're gonna look at the giant sloth.

Ten minutes... Please ?

Thank you. Dee do dah.

That concludes our parallel parking for today. Class dismissed

That was not cool at all, you guys.

That's glass. That hurts your beak.

That's his skull.

That's your copy. Show anyone you want. Thanks, dave.

The beverage ! Icee, bro.

The sun isn't shining all through the night.

The worm's right there, ese.

They are ? Oh, cool. uh huh

This has gotta be our secret, okay ?

This is what put this place on the map.

This thing weighs a ton.

Ugh ?

Ugh.

Underground glacial movements still in this part of the world.

Watchin' all the jeop ardy you can handle ?

We called what ? What do we call them ? Glaciers

We gotta play this thing out.

We gotta teach him stuff. We'll teach him how to wease.

We took a vote and the computer club feels your presence...

We're your new family.

Wease some older nugs with a mansion and a pool ?

What ? Be hospitable ?

What are you doin' ? I'm letting him go.

What are you doing, mr. Stoney ? no, no !

What do we call these big chunks of ice, those big slabs of ice ?

What is this ?

Who was that ?

Whoa ! Whoa !

Whoa, buddy, it's chillin'.

Wow ! wow !

Yeah !

Yeah, 'cause they're riding the vapor in reverse

Yeah, i got a date with your mom. That's not nice

Yeah, or jimmy hoffa.

Yeah. Right.

You can let go, link.

You can't tell anybody... Nobody !

You don't have to write that i left the keys in the ignition, do you ?

You forgot me in the third grade.

You just think i'm bad for your act, that's all.

You like that, right, 'cause you're a caveman.

You promised me mellow. This isn't mellow.

You see that muchacha over there ?

You sound like my mom. You can't do that to me.

You wanna be a man, ese ?

You're a loser.

You're so am i ?

[ link ] family ! all right.

[ ringing ] [ screaming ]

he e e ey ! stop that car, young man !

i got pictures ! no !

no weasin' the ju uice. wease the juice !

ugh ! okay. ah, ah !

?? 'bout a thing she saw ??

?? And i'm too sexy for milan ??

?? But little did you know you'd end up in the spotlight ? ?

?? But reality used to be a friend of mine ??

?? Feel the rhythm feel the rhythm everywhere ??

?? Here we go ??

?? Hey, ho just say the monkey ??

?? I didn't really know how you get so hungry ??

?? I'm makin' plans for the rest of the night ??

?? It's true ??

?? Let's do it let's do it you turn me on ??

?? Move your body ??

?? Move your body ??

?? Move your body to the rhythm of love ?? Oh !

?? My jaws are bigger and i'm ready to fight ??

?? My monkey don't scratch my monkey don't bite ??

?? My monkey don't trick my monkey don't fool ??

?? Now in this land of democracy why no one sets the people free ??

?? Oh no ??

?? Oh no you're invited but your friend can't come ??

?? Or your mama too ??

?? She likes to feed the monkey she likes to funky ??

?? So come on, come on, come on give it up tonight ??

?? This is our philosophy all these things can turn you free ??

?? Too sexy for my love love's going to leave me ??

?? Too sexy for my love love's going to leave me ??

?? Treaty, oo oh ??

?? Uh uh uh oh that's the song ??

?? Whoa no you're invited but your friend can't come ??

?? Whoa no you're invited but your friend can't come ??

?? Whoa, no no come on, baby gonna have some fun ??

?? Wooly bully ??

?? Wooly bully ??

?? Wow ??

?? Wow, have some fun, baby ??

?? You know you really turn me on ??

?? You know you really turn me on ?? Hey !

?? You make my heart sing ??

?? You wouldn't be with such a fool ??

????

????

????

???? [ rock ]

[ alarm ringing ]

[ alarm sounding ]

[ applause, cheering ]

[ barking ] [ barking ]

[ cheering, laughing ]

[ crashing sounds ]

[ dave ] watch the people ! Grab the wheel !

[ dave ] what are you writing ? Hey, what did you write ?

[ dave ] where are we ?

[ howling ]

[ howling ]

[ lawn mower motor ]

[ link ] wease some juice !

[ robyn ] link, i think you just failed driver's ed.

[ screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ screaming ]

[ sighs ] there's always college.

[ sniffing ]

[ stoney ] ?? I got a mop on top ?? Watch out !

[ stoney ] didn't phase him, bro. Oh shit !

[ stoney ] go, go, go !

[ stoney ] hey, buddy !

[ stoney ] hey, hey, hey !

[ stoney ] oh, wow ! Hey, what's up ?

[ whispering ] i found a caveman. A caveman ?

[ yelling ]