Childrens Hospital (2008) - Season 4 Edit

A all. All of it.

A change is gonna come.

A free mammogram!

A human piñata.

A kissing scene when I was married to you.

A little boy came in this morning to have his tonsils removed,

A round for my coworkers.

A woman has specifically requested you by name.

Aaaaaah!

Aaaaaand...they're gone.

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Clear!

Aah! Now push, ma!

About grief and loss and death, and you're welcome.

Accident of birth that made me a member of the aristocracy.

Accident victims are like tawdry glamor models with silicone breasts.

Action!

Action.

Actor Cutter Spindell was dead, but they still needed

Actually, we were out hunting, and Kelly thought

Ah, I see.

Ah, the old twin brother Switcheroo works every time.

Ah, well, have you ever felt like someone's edging in on your

Ahh. Mind the tubes, boy.

All of my handicaps are gone!

All right, all right.

All right, give me 50cc of propylene glycol.

All right, Glenn is in charge, everybody.

All right, I'll play. Uh, trapped in a box. Choking.

All right, if I understand how these things go,

All right, you need something that says bone saw or

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Relax.

All that and more tonight on "Newsreaders."

All the guys turn into walking, talking guys with penises.

All the rich people do it.

All these stem cells into that handicapped monkey.

Alls I've got is the bone saw and rib spreader that

Also, this feels like angels'

Am I gonna be okay, Dr. clown?

Am I right, guys?

Amazing doctors we are, please welcome my hero, Madonna!

Amazing!

Ambassadors in the mass media, is to teach the American people

Amnesia!

An airbornimal.

And action!

And action!

And as a dancer, try not to make it all weird.

And can you give him six flu shots now?

And celebrate the female experience.

And cut!

And cut!

And cut! Great.

And cut.

And cut.

And David.

And doctor I work with.

And don't say snoopy, 'cause that dog can do anything.

And even then, it's just a finger up the bum hole. Think about that.

And every time my new heart beats, I think of you, Lola Adolph Spratt.

And feel free to make love with me at any time.

And he was having a one sided conversation with

And I fell in love, and it was not mutual, and I was forcibly removed.

And I got your pancakes.

And I hope it's a snake!

And I just Shh.

And I love hanging out in dirty old,

And I will take it, but with a lot less happiness than

And I'm Owen Skywalker, Jedi pediatrician.

And I'm worried the air's gonna run out.

And if I fail, which I won't, I will happily turn in my resignation.

And if you can believe in an animal that could fly, then also

And lady doctor Kitty Black.

And less.

And listen, call me Blake, okay?

And more of my conversation with Kate Walsh.

And more.

And my hands are dripping with her poor, black blood.

And nobody's talking.

And now an exclusive look at scenes from next week's episode.

And now every country in the world has a woman as a leader.

And now the day of the operation was finally upon me.

And now we'll never know where he's been hiding that

And one and two, and one and two, and one and I want

And right now, she needs you to be a top notch heart surgeon.

And so I sprung into action, you know.

And some pancakes.

And take out your insides.

And thank you so much for the dish towel.

And that completes the story of how Sy and Jerry murdered a

And that... Is the English way.

And that's it.

And that's it.

And that's the end of my story!

And that's the only thing that you all need.

And that's the whole story.

And the bad news is, she also put a chemical in your

And the rain and tea time, Benny hill, the queen.

And then, most importantly, the patients' records, all right?

And this is Preston's.

And we all experimented in college, right?

And we revisit the age old question which came first,

And we'd do it again, 'cause, news flash, Sy I don't want

And went home with a 9 month course of chemotherapy!

And when things change, things aren't ever quite the way they used to be.

And when was his last vaccination?

And you and she can share a room in hell, unless you accept

And you put it in me.

And you, too, Tiffany.

And you.

And you...

And, David, you definitely direct the

And, falcon, your thing is the crazy eyes and stuff.

And, while you're at it, why don't you go jump in a lake?

And, yes, even Thursday.

Another 100 hit wonder.

Answer is, no, I was not you said that you were cured all

Any extra tasks you need us doing?

Anything...can...happen.

Appears in our lives... Blake, you will be missed.

Are they falling in love?

Are those patients' files?

Are we doctors or are we... Dart doctors?

Are you allergic to anything?

Are you from hell?

Are you gonna look at my son or...?

Are you kidding?

Are you on dialysis?

Are you questioning me?

Are you saying that this place is entirely guy free?

Are you saying there are no more patients left in the hospital?

Are you serious?

Arranged a very special party favor that only the upper echelons know about.

As a matter of fact, thank you, Glenn.

As a matter of fact, there is.

As struck as the writers'

As the Americans say, "tomayto," "tomayto."

At least it's real.

At least something makes a noise around here.

At least we listen when you tell stories.

At reception.

At the risk of sounding a bit like a broken

Attack it!

Attack it! Attack it!

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff. Ladies get 50% off today.

Attractive or what?

Attractive woman, headmistress.

Aw, sweet.

Aw.

Aww, nuts.

Aww. You're welcome.

Babe, we don't have time for letters right now.

Back in Ukraine, I was hospital administrator.

Back off, Maestro. An underprivileged black child caught

Back to paper mache.

Bad snake! Bad snake!

Band aid on my skinned knee... a hole.

Bang. Bang, bang.

Bastard!

Be off with you!

Bearded Clam, just go over there and be yourself.

Became a household "where do I know that guy from?"

Because Charlie Morton was sloshed in Lambert Square,

Because falls like that tend to hurt... Stacy.

Because I am the king of this hospital King Dr. Blake Downs

Because I don't believe in workplace romances.

Because I knew all you needed was the confidence to believe in yourself.

Because it combines their two favorite things.

Because it means that I have lost my mind

Because it's a crime!

Because she's married to the director?

Because that's what it is!

Because the staff dance is tonight Thursday.

Because whenever medicine let him down, laughter lifted him

Because you ate my lunch from the refrigerator.

Because, uh...I'm your boyfriend.

Become the world's youngest billionaire.

Before you go, there are no patients left to treat.

Began 30 seconds ago.

Best I could do.

Bet you it won't be funny.

Better outside of work.

Birds are animals that can fly, right?

Blake Downs never lost faith in the one thing that

Blake told me the situation.

Blake, are you following me or not?

Blake, if I ever go out with you, please lock me up,

Blake, you recognize me.

Blake.

Blood pressure looks good.

Bobby Palmer was a friend of mine.

Bodyguarder!

Break and get stupid, you know?

Breaker, breaker.

Briggs, I can't go with you.

Briggs, I get to put my hands inside a person.

Briggs, I'm not your partner any more, I'm a doctor now.

Briggs, you got it all wrong!

Bring out your dead and transport them to the morgue.

Bunch of doctors because they were bad listeners.

But I can cure him, Sy.

But I could easily have been thought of by most as dead.

But I was gonna take you for a curry and give you a tracheotomy!

But in your own life, you've forgotten the foundation of a

But interracial romances are totally fine ever

But it didn't, and we are done!

But it only lasts a second.

But it wasn't until "Childrens Hospital" that he

But it's a victimless crime.

But it's ladies night.

But money doesn't buy happiness!

But seriously, what's going on?

But take it slow because I might be a virgin.

But that doctor said that I said that

But the question remains, can "Childrens Hospital" go on

But then again, of course you don't. Why would you?

But then we'll go to Childrens, obviously.

But then why did it fail?

But this time, it's just peanut brittle. I promise.

But we we have a connection.

But we were wearing masks.

But we're a nationalized hospital!

But we're a nationalized hospital!

But what if I'm a vegan?

But why?

But you did that.

But you have to keep your thing for blood and gore in check.

But you know, I have enjoyed getting to know you a little

But you're not.

But you're wearing a belt.

But, chief, if I was listening correctly and the

But, hey, I've got a thing for younger women.

But... dang it!

But...I was able to cure myself

Butts and throw her at people at the zoo.

Call your mother.

Calling your bum bag a fanny pack is a fire able offense.

Came together, Dr. Blake Downs was very much dead.

Can I get some of that?

Can I text?

Can I try one as Christopher Walken?

Can we cut?

Can we get a hand over here?!

Can we go now?

Can you even imagine?

Can you even imagine?

Can you see if the baby has any hair?

Can't wait to meet a woman, settle down, get to know her, and raise a family!

Can't you see I'm busy?

Careful, you.

Carrie, it's time for you to meet your helper animal.

Carry on.

Cast member Just Falcon.

Cat, I'm a Jedi knight, and my droids and I came here to cheer you up.

Cat, you're getting my purse totally wet.

Cat's ass

Catch!

Catholics don't eat meat or treat patients.

Ch ch ch ch ch changes. David bowie.

Change. The changing of the guard.

Check and checkmate.

Check this out.

Chief tried to kill me.

Chief tried to kill me.

Chief tried to kill me.

Chief tried to kill me.

Chief tried to murder me.

Chief tried to murder me.

Chief, I get it

Chief, what are you doing here?

Chief, what are you drinking?

Chief, you finally finished your internship.

Chief, you said one more time.

Chief, you've got to stop flirting with Richard.

Chief!

Chief?

Childrens Hospital, this is the Bearded Clam.

Cirque du Soleil.

Clear!

Clear!

Clearly, you have, too.

Clowns can't get amnesia, though we would like to forget

Come and sit.

Come on

Come on, guys!

Come on, Maestro. Let's go shoot a few terrorists, for old times' sake.

Come on, piñata! Let's go!

Come on, that's a prop, a hole!

Come on.

Come quick, everyone!

Come to terms with the passing of their co star.

Come with me.

Come, now! You're as sensitive as your legs are crippled!

Coming!

Conspiracy, fraud, attempted murder.

Contagious virus and she's got to be in this plastic bubble.

Cooking and cleaning?

Cops can't do that unless they're searching for drugs... Or it's Christmas.

Could be a sole proprietorship.

Could easily have been thought of by most as dead.

Could have easily been thought of by most as dead.

Crazy people smear her on the walls.

Crazy, right an airborne animal?

Crying. I don't care. I don't speak French.

Cut loose, footloose, both feet lose, in fact.

Cut the

Cut!

Cut!

Cut!

Cutter Spindell.

Cutter Spindell's family generously donated his

Cutter Spindell's voice.

Cutter Spindell's voice.

Daddy's back!

Daisy can do things that other animals can't.

Daisy is trained to help you do things you can't do for yourself

Daisy, quick! Break a lamp!

Daisy, turn on the TV.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Dance for us.

Dancing sure makes me feel... Relaxed.

David and I were just so happy to have you there.

David, come here quick.

David, how long have you been standing there?

David.

Department and pay them to come and pick up toxic waste.

Detective Lacey Briggs, I haven't seen you since you

Determined to find a cure.

Dick" don't you understand, ass kisser?!

Dicky and I like to mother goose it up sometimes.

Did I say that?

Did you fall asleep again?

Did you hear me that time?

Did you love him?

Did you respect him?

Did you see a situation that inspired you?

Did you see something, Madonna?

Did you take his blood pressure?

Did you write this memo ordering all doctors to

Didn't know how to dance.

Dilation with regular frequency?

Disgusting.

Divorced my old partner and dedicated your life to hitting

Dixie has been screwing falcon for months.

Dixie Peters, you're doing great.

Do not leave this room, okay?

Do you have a sec?

Do you love him?

Do you love him?

Do you miss him?

Do you miss him?

Do you think he noticed I use a walker?

Do you think he's gonna make it, Dr. Flame?

Do you understand?

Do you want me to tell them that you're on your way?

Do you want to spend setting them?

Do your doctor know that camera's not rolling?

Doctor is a doctor who is also a king

Doctor, Kenny's got himself trapped in a glass box,

Doctors, as you know, a new tattoo parlor has opened across the street.

Does that even show up on TV?

Does the child have any deformities?

Does your son ever experience fainting spells?

Doesn't look like it.

Dog bartender.

Don't be scared!!

Don't break open the champagne just yet.

Don't even go there, David.

Don't ever change.

Don't have a heart.

Don't stop till you drop.

Don't tell me that you don't miss handling one of those babies.

Don't touch me, man.

Don't we all have secrets we keep behind the scenes?

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

Don't you get it?

Don't you go anywhere.

Don't you think you deserve to enjoy a rich man's game of chance?

Don't you worry.

Donkey squires, which if you did know donkey squires, you really

Dori, what time does that staff meeting start?

Dori," but I don't remember.

Dori! Perfect!

Dr. Blake downs.

Dr. Glenn Richards. Glenn, meet Valerie Flume, Lulu Spratt,

Dr. Maestro, could you give this to Dr. Downs?

Dr. Richie.

Driving on the right side of the road, which is the wrong side of

Dying from electric shock is to give them more electric shocks.

Eh, it's a living.

Eh, tomayto, tomahto.

Elements on the set.

Emergency! Six year old with a gunshot wound!

Endangerment, kidnapping.

Entire time...until I stopped.

Euehhhhh.

Even appearing on an earlier version of this news program.

Everybody come quick!

Everybody, this is Rosa.

Everyone can have a good part in the great TV show we call life.

Everyone, can I have your attention, please?

Everyone, to answer your question, I am in charge here.

Everything is good on my end

Everything went exactly as scripted.

Everything's okay.

Exactly.

Exceptionally sweet ass.

Excuse me, headmistress, but it's "doctor lady," not "lady doctor."

Excuse me!

Excuse me. Can I help you?

Experimenting on cadavers.

Expiration dates are really just suggestions.

Exposed to this ink.

Feeling as the day before, although very different from the

Finally, I finished my internship.

Finally, I had the training to operate on my own brain in the

Fine. You're a lady.

Fingers crossed.

First and 10, 35 yards to go.

First off, the organ supply room needs cleaning.

First to you, now to the audience.

Fish taco, and I don't know if it will ever happen

Flat line.

Fly away in a non invisible jet?

For a day they assumed would be like any other work day like

For a second there, I thought that was a real airplane.

For all intents and purposes, she is poo.

For all intents and purposes, the color green means "antidote."

For how long?

For me!

For six decades, actor Cutter Spindell trod the well worn path of the

For who?!

For you, Lola Spratt, who is not fat.

Forbid I should want my doctor son to deliver his sibling.

Forever.

Foundation has to look her best.

Free day!

Friday?

Friday.

Funny how Americans think that British cops don't carry guns.

Game off, Dixie.

Game off.

Game on, Lynn.

Game on.

Game on.

Geez.

Get away from me!

Get away. Come on

Get funky.

Get in there! Push it aside!

Get rid of this.

Getting a real helper animal?

Girl power!

Give me a 6/8 blues riff.

Give me the name of my band "Blackout."

Give the amnesia...amnesia!

Glen!!

Glenn, come on.

Glenn, the plan was that I would play in my panic room

Glenn, this is a free day!

Glenn, what if we get airborne amnesia?

Glenn, will you take care of reorganizing this entire room?

Glenn!

Glenn!

Glorified nurse in that scene?

Go get her.

Go, go, go, go, go.

God gave me.

God, they've tarred and feathered her, like some common revolutionary hooligan.

Good luck.

Good, 'cause my stomach really hurts!

Good. Yeah.

Got to get this finished in time to take a shower before the big dance.

Grab me some pancakes.

Great wedding last week.

Great.

Great. I found a cure

Green means good, red means bad.

Greetings, hospital staff.

Greetings, hospital staff.

Greetings, hospital staff.

Greetings, master David.

Guard my body using your body.

Guys, I have an idea.

Guys, what do we do with all our time?

Ha cha cha!

Ha ha!

Ha, are you kidding me?

Ha, you're right.

Had grown the walker, this almost cartoonish hunch, the ugly wig.

Handcrafted baccarat table, edged in 24 karat gold.

Has anyone seen my iPad?

Has died tragically.

Have a family and become a millionaire, you know.

Have an insatiable sexual appetite.

Have you gotten through the rib cage yet?

Have you seen Glenn and Lola dancing?

Having a disability doesn't mean you're not sexy.

He brought a lot of joy to my life.

He doesn't need glasses or his walker?!

He is a racecar driver.

He must be a zombie. Shoot to kill.

He said, "I didn't eat it!

He touched an exposed junction box, and he was electrocuted.

He was given to me by him.

He'll only be asleep for a few minutes, so we got to move.

He's Tuesday?

He's dead.

He's flatlining.

He's French.

He's from ****stan, and he's a Hindu...

He's interning here now and he's a huge fan of the show.

He's just a kid!

He's not coming ba Sunday?

He's not coming back ever.

He's sleeping again.

He's suffering from sombialysis.

He's trying to Shut up!

Heart transplant eight years ago

Helen, we can't thank you enough for doing this.

Hello, everyone. I'd like to introduce you to a new member of staff...

Hello, val.

Help them right those wrongs well, for a small fee.

Help us!

Help us! Catch!

Her is me!

Her is me!

Here comes the placenta!

Here every night like I am here?

Here she is!

Here we come

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here you go, Chet.

Hey, and now that I'm seeing that thing, you do have an

Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Hey, Blake, where have you been?

Hey, boyfriend whose name I don't know, kill him

Hey, chief.

Hey, Dixie.

Hey, Dori, my round sheet is empty.

Hey, Dori.

Hey, everybody!

Hey, everybody. I'm glad I caught you.

Hey, Glenn, you want to try some peanut brittle?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies!

Hey, I would marry the chief three times.

Hey, kid, you're supposed to unwrap your candy before you eat it.

Hey, man.

Hey, Rosa.

Hey, Sy.

Hey, Sy. We did it!

Hey, was that dot com billionaire Richard Jarvis I saw

Hey, who's that?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Good work on that helper animal.

Hey! Think fast!

Hey! You with the hat!

Hey. It's a girl!

Hey. That's my girlfriend.

Hey. We're all out of ink.

Hi

Hi! Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Are you my waiter?

Hi. No, hold on.

His belly is full of candy, but not for long.

His stomach started to hurt You're a natural storyteller.

Hit it.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. It does look tasty.

Hold up, headmistress. You're a woman.

Honestly, mom, I can't tell where your massive pubic

Honey, I've been playing out this conversation in

Honey, the best ones usually are.

Hoo ah!

Hospital revenues are up 65%.

Hospital.

How about "When The Saints Go Marching In"?

How about 60% off?

How about one as Albert Brooks?

How are you?

How cool is that?

How could he be gone forever unless he was dead?

How could I screw up this operation that I was born to do?

How could we get the virus?

How did you know my middle name?

How do we know you're really a king?

How is it wrong?

How long would it take you to run to the nearest gas

How long you gonna stay with him, huh?

How was it inside the snake?

How were you born to do it?

How will they tell the story of this death?

How's your mind feel today?

Huh?

Huh?

Hurry!

Hyah!

I admit it. I was wr I was wr I was wro

I also put in Chinese Santa Claus because, like, what does that even mean?

I always forget that you colonies don't drive indoors.

I am C 3PO, Childrens Hospital's resident protocol droid and this

I am not a woman. I am English.

I am not talking to you!

I am not talking to you!

I am trying, but these winds... They are so strong!

I asked for the name of my band, "Blackout," but they put

I asked the show's director what's next for "Childrens Hospital."

I bid you all farewell, then.

I bleach my teeth.

I can afford it, technically.

I can teach you how to dance.

I can.

I can't believe we're out of fish tacos.

I can't eat a kid.

I can't help it.

I can't talk right now, mummy.

I can't. Sorry.

I cannot wait to dive into some of this single mom tail.

I come here every night.

I couldn't find your gallbladder.

I couldn't wait any longer for my appointment, Dr. Black.

I couldn't wait any longer for my appointment, Dr. Black.

I did literally nothing and nothing got fixed.

I did, yes.

I did.

I didn't eat it.

I didn't get these pages.

I didn't mean to lead you on.

I didn't want to worry you.

I do not know how to react to that.

I do.

I don't I have a speedboat

I don't feel anything at all.

I don't have my song.

I don't have time for you to be a douche.

I don't know Oh, take a few whacks.

I don't know him.

I don't know how it got there.

I don't know what the hell's going on.

I don't know who wrote them, but from now on, Cat Black has this

I don't know, because I can't get this punk to talk.

I don't know, Dori.

I don't know!

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't like you like that!

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

I don't understand it.

I don't use landlines anymore.

I don't want a tear!

I don't want to be that actress but, you know, I never rehearsed

I feel like I have a connection with his money.

I feel like I've been waiting forever to get my mouth on a

I feel like you two are dragging on your end.

I feel nauseous.

I figure we have a 10 day grace period.

I gave you all of me for nothing?

I get it.

I give up.

I got a 16 year old needs emergency heart surgery

I got five different kids out there crapping wrapped candy,

I got it! I got it!

I got to dance!

I got to dance!

I got to get back to my daydream!

I got to go.

I got to own this.

I got to take out this kid's gallbladder.

I graduated at the top of my class, but my list of handicaps

I grew a mustache for you.

I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm

I guess I made my own bed, right?

I guess I'm confused.

I guess it all boiled down to me drinking Parkinson's juice.

I guess mommy can burn in hell.

I guess you could say I was born to get her to tell her story.

I had to do something for money.

I had us married during the recopping ceremony.

I have always wanted to ask you, what is Michael Jackson like?

I have an engorged vagina, but that's not enough to convince my

I have an idea where you can stay on your dialysis

I have an idea.

I have an idea.

I have my song.

I have no moral compass!

I have to be tethered to that machine or I'll die.

I have to take this.

I have ways of knowing if you do less than your best.

I heard about your "dilemon."

I hope it's a dog.

I hope so, David.

I I was scared.

I just I can't talk about it."

I just you're right.

I just assume a snake can do everything a dog can do.

I just can't I can't talk about it.

I just checked your cervix!

I just did say so

I just got seduced by the money.

I just tell you what I see in the chart.

I just thought this was about sisterhood.

I kept your appendix in a tin. Wanked off to it...

I knew it.

I know it sounds weird, but it was the ultimate high.

I know it's hard, but you got to trust me on this. Relax.

I know who you are.

I know you're hurting right now

I know.

I know.

I like that you care.

I like the way you think, lady.

I love doctors.

I love it.

I love ****stani men.

I love the 'stache, by the way.

I loved it so.

I made it for him special.

I make six figures a year!