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Home > Bad Santa (2003) Soundboard
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Bad Santa (2003) Soundboard

Bad Santa (2003) Soundboard

Bad Santa is a hilarious and dark comedy film that was released in 2003. Directed by Terry Zwigoff, this movie has become a favorite during the holiday season, especially for those who are looking for a slightly unconventional twist in their Christmas-themed entertainment.

The film stars a talented ensemble cast led by Billy Bob Thornton, who delivers an unforgettable performance as the title character, Willie T. Stokes. Thornton's portrayal of Willie is simultaneously loathsome and endearing, creating a character that is both repugnant and strangely sympathetic. Thornton's comedic timing and his ability to bring depth to such a complex character truly make him shine in this role.

Alongside Thornton, Tony Cox plays the role of Marcus, Willie's partner in crime. Cox's performance adds a dynamic element to the film, as his character's interactions with Willie are both hilarious and filled with tension. The genuine chemistry between Thornton and Cox is palpable and adds an extra layer of entertainment to the storyline.

The talented Lauren Graham portrays Sue, a bartender who develops an unexpectedly flirtatious relationship with Willie. Graham effortlessly brings wit and charm to her role, making Sue an appealing and relatable character within the film. Her interactions with Thornton's character provide some truly memorable comedic moments and add a touch of romance to the overall plot.

Additionally, the late John Ritter plays the role of Bob Chipeska, the mall manager who hires Willie and Marcus as Santa and his elf respectively. Ritter delivers a skillful and comedic performance, showcasing his talent for playing affable but clueless characters. His scenes with Thornton and Cox are particularly memorable, as their interactions often result in hilarious chaos.

Bad Santa delves into the complexities of human nature and explores themes of redemption in a distinctly unorthodox way. It uses the holiday season, traditionally associated with joy and goodwill, as a backdrop to highlight the darker side of humanity. The film's smart writing and clever dialogue are complemented by stellar performances from its cast, making it both a memorable and highly entertaining experience.

If you're in the mood for a holiday-themed film that's far from conventional, Bad Santa is the perfect choice. Released in 2003, it has since become a cult classic, known for its irreverent humor and distinct take on the Christmas season. Whether you're a fan of dark comedies or simply looking for a different kind of holiday movie, Bad Santa is sure to leave you laughing and questioning the true meaning of redemption.

You can play and download the sounds of Bad Santa (2003) here, immersing yourself in the twisted, yet oddly heartwarming world that the film creates.

An adult joke for us adults.
And I wasn't as big as one of your legs.
And you are in a position of trust. I think perhaps…
Anyway, just in case they took it as evidence,
Anyway, she makes better money than bartending
Are gonna be exploring mountains with your dad
Are these designer or knockoff?
Are you telling me that after I propped you up,
Be my fucking guest. Take a shot.
But I can see the picket line now…
But it looks like you broke most of his ribs
Don't mothball that suit.
Even though I'm a dipshit loser.
Five Christmases I've been here.
For crying out loud, you trucking fucking imbecile.
Good night, Santa.
Got it.
Grandma?
Hacks!
Half.
Have you seen that new Santa they just hired?
Hell, I guess you did better than I did. I never got any B's.
Hope not. It'd be the end of the fucking human race.
Houseguests?
How long are you gonna be here?
How would I know? I haven't seen the fuckin' thing yet.
I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
I know how to keep a low profile. Thank you.
I like kids. I really like kids.
I want a gorilla named Davey for beating up the skateboard kids.
I wear this fucking thing as a fashion statement, all right?
I'll bet the store dick don't want this.
I'm also sending you a T shirt
I'm gonna buy you some flowers. Some of those really good expensive ones.
It's just a job, you know what I mean?
Kids. Let me tell you.
Let me give you some news. I'm not Santa Claus, all right?
Like I accomplished something.
Look who's here, Jimmy. It's Santa.
MAN ON TV: Four half pound juicy hamburgers.
Message three.
Message two.
Mind your own goddamn business.
More booze. More bullshit. More buttfucking.
Moron.
Move it along
Nice digs.
No. I'm an accountant.
No. I'm just looking at the games 'cause I have an Xbox.
No. Thank the fuck Christ.
Now I don't want an elephant at all.
Now, I want you to get on out of here. Get!
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Oh, really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, the old man will love that. Okay. Fine. See you later.
Oh, yeah. Unfair practices.
Okay.
Ooh!
Ow! Damn it! What's wrong with you, woman?
Pack your shit. Phoenix.
Santa!
So I'm gonna be staying here for a while. Things are all fucked up at the North Pole.
So they set it up with Mrs
So you like to give little kids black eyes, huh?
Somebody stick a cord on those fuckin’ kids
Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You all the same.
Sure, the three B's.
Thank you for giving that letter to the cops
That him and his prune faced, mail order wife
That, plus everyone agreeing..
That's fucking great.
That's right. Come on and tell Santa all about it.
There's Santa Claus. Look there.
They look great on you ma’am. Sale this week only.
They're fine. Do you have any houseguests?
They're gonna make me a sensitivity counselor,
Up your ass.
Was even more fucked up than Rodney King
Well, it was real. But, you see, I got sick and all the hair fell out.
Well, you get what you paid for, Chipeska.
What are you doing?
What do you want?
What do you want? What are you doing?
What the fuck you doing? “Fuck stick” in front of the boss?
What the fuck? Kid, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Whatever
When I look at you, you know what I think?
Who the fuck is Thurman?
WILLIE: Oh, my!
WILLIE: What do you want? What?
With me? I fuck one person.
You are really Santa, right?
You got some lip on you, midget.
You got to thrust. See what I'm saying?
You gotta learn to stand up for yourself.
You just gonna sit there?
You people are monsters
You probably shouldn't be digging in your ass.
You're late.
You're next.
40%.
48%?
... and 1/3. Half.
As a fucking whistle. Nothing?
Fucked, frankly. He's...
I love the hat. Okay.
I loved a woman who wasn't clean. Mrs. Santa?
It's Arizona plates. Hold on. Let me get a pen.
Need money to fix your sleigh? Exactly.
Now, get on out of here. Okay. Thanks, Santa
So what do you want? PokÈmon!
This one fucking time I take you home, okay? Uh huh.
Well, what's one point? We split the dough right down the middle.
Where are the reindeer? I stabled them. Is it left or right?
Which turn is it? Sage Terrace. Where's your sleigh?
Yeah. Fuckin' Darwinian.
Yeah. I just rent stuff, too. Yeah?
You do? I love kids.