The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) Soundboard Edit

Aah!

All of you, come on. Quick!

All things it devours

And he never forgave...

And I thought to myself then...

And that is where they found it.

And the game of golf invented at the same time.

And what were you doing on the Great East Road?

Answer us.

Ask us.

Azog the Defiler was destroyed.

Balin, you know these paths. Lead on.

BALIN: Everything appears to be in order.

BALIN: It's just the usual.

BALIN: Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief.

BERT: Shut your cakehole. You'll eat what I give you

BILBO: Aah! DWALIN: Bilbo!

Birds, beasts... Beasts? Trees, flowers.

Blimey!

BOFUR: Wanna bet?

Box.

Bright as daylight!

Built deep within the mountain itself...

But I fear this quest has set in motion...

But I will help you take it back if I can.

But I'm sorry I doubted you

But there are others in Middle earth who can.

But we'll take it as a sign.

By all means...

Can you promise that I will come back?

Come on

Come on!

Come on!

Cw!

Drop him!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

DWALIN: Push!

Dwarves?

Eggses!

Enough!

Evening, brother.

Fight.

Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.

Fili, Kili! That's 12

First they champ, then they stamp

For this city of Men was nothing to Smaug.

Funeral arrangements?

GALADRIEL: They are leaving.

GANDALF: Bilbo

GANDALF: Bilbo

GANDALF: Fili!

GANDALF: Here lies the Last Homely House East of the Sea

GANDALF: No!

GANDALF: Quickly!

GANDALF: Thorin!

Get off me!

Giant ones

GLOIN: Filthy scum!

GOLLUM: Is it tasty?

Good gracious.

Good morning

GREAT GOBLIN (SINGING): Bones will be shattered

He is here.

He stood alone against this terrible foe.

He was a firedrake from the North.

He went missing. Taken prisoner or killed...

He wields the Foehammer! The Beater!

He wouldn't make more than a mouthful

He..

He's a Wizard. He does as he chooses.

Here, Mr. Bilbo, where are you off to?

Hey.

Hm. Uh..

I cannot guarantee his safety

I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind.

I meant with the seasoning.

I really do.

I'm going on an adventure!

I'm not a Took, I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking

I'm starving!

I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know?

I've had enough of Dwarves for one day.

If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is.

If we have read these signs...

In the common tongue, it's known by another name

Incineration?

Is he coming back?

Is it crunchable?

Is what down where?

It's not ready yet.

It's not so very much after all.

It's over 100 years old!

It's Radagast the Brown

KILI: Hold on!

Kili! Run!

Kind of you to invite us.

Late for what?

Look out! Look out!

Look who it is.

Loyalty, honor...

Made for the Witchking of Angmar.

Move back! Give him some air, for goodness sake.

Mr. Dwalin. Ha, ha

Mr. Gandalf!

My Lord Elrond.

No thanks to your burglar

No, you're right.

No!

No!

No.

No.

No.

NORI: Oh! That's hot, that's hot, that's hot!

NORI: What? Skin us?

Not an Elfs, no

Not even a burglar.

Not good. Not good at all.

Not here?

Nothing attached.

Now, are we having horse tonight or what?

Now, now, keep your distance!

Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them.

OIN: A raven!

OIN: Balin. DWALIN: Come on!

Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm?

ORI: Oh, no, Dori!

Our hearts have yearned

Our home.

Peaceful and prosperous.

Perhaps there's more burglar Hobbits around these parts.

Pound them up with a thumping pole

RADAGAST: A dark power dwells in there...

RADAGAST: Come on! Come on!

Seems a shame just to leave it lying around

Send them down the hall to roll

She had all my spoons stuffed in her pocket. Ha!

So you think his defiling days are done, do you?

Something's wrong.

Sorry

Sorry. Ow!

Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks...

Start with its head.

Stay sharp.

Stop! We have to turn around

Take up arms.

Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks.

Teeth?

The Arkenstone

The giant Gundabad Orc...

The legends are true.

The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled...

The Valley of Imladris

The world is not in your books and maps.

There is a mark. I put it there myself.

There they are!

There was the city of Dale.

These swords were not made by any Troll.

They cannot be opened.

They could not have moved in daylight

This was a Hobbit hole.

This way! Quickly!

Thorin said I should never have come and he was right.

Thorin, no.

THORIN: Go, go, go! BALIN: Run! Get off! Get off!

THORIN: Jump!

THORIN: They say this quest is ours and ours alone.

THORIN: They're coming!

Those are my pri...! Excuse me, not my wine. Put that back. Put that back

Thror named it The King's Jewel.

Thror ruled with utter surety...

Time.

To find our long forgotten gold

Until this day

Wait!

Wait!

We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today. Not..

We don't belong anywhere

We don't have parasites

We must find shelter!

We start at first light.

We will not be seeing our Hobbit again.

We'll fight as long as we live

We'll ride in the gathering storm

Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain

Well, all good stories deserve embellishment

Well, uh...

Well...

What are you doing in these pans?

What are you, then? An oversized squirrel?

What is it?

What was before

What would you have us do, then?

Where else...? Ahem

Where is he?

Where is our Hobbit?

Where is our Hobbit?

Where on this good earth did those foul creatures come from?

Who would stay out late, come home after dark...

Why did you come back?

WILLIAM: Never mind the seasoning

WILLIAM: Right. Come here, you little...

Witchcraft.

Yes

Yes, I'm telling you. The secret is...

Yes, we are, badly

Yes, you should.

Yes. Yes, just us.

You are neither of them.

You are not alone.

You know nothing of the world.

You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, Uncle

You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing?

You'll be beaten and battered

You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up

Are there any? GANDALF: What?

Can't stop, I'm already late! Late for what?

Fili. And Kili

Gandalf. Lord Elrond.

Good evening. Yes. Yes, it is

Grab him! TOM: He's too quick.

Grab my hand! Bilbo!

No one

Ow! I said sit down.

Time? For what? To find the entrance.

What have you lost? Mustn't ask us! Not its business!

...and drove the Orcs back.

...and, blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow.

...for our dead were beyond the count of grief.

...has dared to cross the Bruinen.

...lies a single, solitary peak

...nor brightest.

...of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written.

...over ranges and rivers...

...the beauty of this fortress city was legend

...to the company of Thorin Oakenshield.

...which makes you nobody, really.

...which means it will glow blue when Orcs or Goblins are nearby

...wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield

'Tis not

(ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

(ALL CHUCKLING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ALL YELLING)

(AZOG SHOUTS IN BLACK SPEECH)

(BALIN GRUNTS)

(BELCHES)

(BERT CHUCKLES)

(BILBO YELLS)

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(CHITTERING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DWALIN & BALIN CHUCKLE)

(DWARVES CHATTERING)

(DWARVES COUGHING)

(DWARVES YELLING)

(DWARVES YELLING)

(EAGLE SQUAWKS)

(GANDALF CHUCKLES)

(GASPS THEN SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(HORN SOUNDS)

(HORN SOUNDS)

(HORNS BELLOWING)

(IN BLACK SPEECH)

(IN BLACK SPEECH)

(IN BLACK SPEECH)

(IN ELVISH)

(IN ELVISH)

(IN ENGLISH) The dragon has long been on your mind

(INSECTS BUZZING)

(OLD BILBO CLEARS THROAT)

(PANTING)

(RADAGAST CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(RADAGAST LAUGHING)

(ROARS)

(SCREAMS)

(SINGING) The cold hard lands They bites our hands

(SNEEZES THEN SIGHS)

(SNIFFING)

(SNORING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(TOM BLOWS NOSE)

(TOM WHIMPERING)

(WARGS GROWLING)

(WARGS HOWLING)

(WARGS HOWLING)

(WHIMPERS)

(WILLIAM GRUNTS)

(YELLS)