Brewster's Millions (1985) Soundboard Edit

A couple hundred thousand dollars for something you wear around your neck.

A Cubs jersey? What are you talkin' about? Hey, what number is that?

A quarter of million dollars, sir.

A special three inning exhibition game

AD?

Adieu.

All right. Big win!

Almost let the cat out of the bag.

And an awful decorator.

And apparently now dead broke,

And double the workmen's salary.

And I can get anybody out for three innings, anybody!

And I want everybody to get a shot.

And I'm pitching!

And just how much slush money it will take to buy it

And that's why I'm gonna raise your salary. Because I love your dedication.

And the ashtray.

And the New York Yankee Baseball Network is on the air

And throughout this region of the North Atlantic are many icebergs, sir.

And tomorrow morning we go into business

And we could have a lot of fun tonight.

And we took up a collection for you

And who you're gonna vote for? None of the above!

And you eat your mask.

And you're giving him this for a prescription, and you'll be all right

Are you all right?

As my wedding gift to you two,

As you can see, the airplane was accidentally printed upside down.

Aw, you almost had that

Beautiful, Benny! Tinkers to Evers to shit!

Because the two candidates are so repulsive.

Big win! Yeah!

Brain damage.

Bullshit!

But Mike Scharf, with a brilliant leaping catch...

But since I've inherited $30 million, I have to expand and branch out.

But the first time you get some money, what do you do?

But you can't give this money away.

But you don't know. See, tomorrow...

Charley, I'm gonna get the team new uniforms,

Charley, we apologized.

Checked out of his luxury hotel a few hours ago

Chicago I know the city, and I know the college.

Chuck Fleming, Action News.

Chuck Fleming, Action News. I'm here at Battery Park

Cold beer here. Cold beer.

Come on, give me a break.

Come on, take it easy now. Don't lose your concentration.

Cop face, cop hat, cop shirt, cop eyes!

Didn't make the boss too happy though.

Don't lose my concentration?

Drinks on the house! Courtesy of Mr. Brewster.

Either of the candidates for mayor of New York.

Even when the money is spent foolishly.

Everything and everybody in the world,

Excuse me, sir. There's a Mr. Warren Cox here to see Miss Drake.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Please, sir.

Faking? I can't have this on my conscience.

FLEMING: Well, Monty Brewster's extravagance knows no bounds.

For a couple of hundred thousand dollars?

For five cases of 114 year old French wine.

For the week? Yeah, I can cover it.

Foul ball!

Gentlemen, do you think I'm a lowlife?

Get back to T ball, buddy.

God! It isn't an asset anymore. He's mailed it!

Good luck, sir. You're due back in 30 days.

Good. Divide it up amongst the many charities, and give it to them.

Got to you in the

Got to you in the nick of time

GRANVILLE: I'm sorry to say this, Roundfield,

Have a good day!

He actually wants me to start working for him this morning

He doesn't exist. There is no Rudy.

He makes three.

He purposely withheld the $20,000 deposit

He's a cop. Look at him. Look at those cheap cop shoes,

He's got brain damage and doesn't even know it.

He's taking pictures of me for the last three games.

He's trying to do the right thing for once in his life.

Hell, the Hackensack Bulls don't even want ya.

Hello, Angela. Just be cool

Help out! Come on! It's a business!

Hey, call me Monty. Warren does.

Hey, come on! Look good out there!

Hey, George! Get an ambulance!

Hey, I lettin' my bat do my talking, lard ass!

Hey, it's supposed to be a party.

Hey, let me get the door.

Hey, Melvin. How are they hanging, my friend?

Hey, old man, getting a little tired, huh?

Hey! Come on! Jesus, I don't know what's the matter with those guys.

How come you know all about it?

How could I ever have been so blind

Huh? Is that great?

I asked if your feelings had changed.

I bought a commodity thing and I bought an oil well thing.

I can't believe you didn't make the all star team.

I can't do it, kid. The front office is washing its hands of you two.

I could tell you, I'll see you next year. I'm not gonna see you next year

I couldn't get the band on the runway. They wouldn't let me!

I did

I didn't expect anybody to vote for me

I didn't know she had a fiance

I don't care if you've been turned down a thousand times, I'm hiring!

I don't get it.

I don't know what team, but you'll see me on television

I imagine you'd like to make sure it's real

I know how much it meant to you.

I mean, what? Somebody die?

I really appreciate this, you know,

I think that you want the stationery store across the street

I thought I'd find you here.

I want it in a regular account that doesn't pay anything.

I want to walk in this room and say to myself,

I was just hired to find him and bring him here.

I would be ashamed to introduce my family to somebody like you!

I'd like to be alone. By myself.

I'd like to get $3 million in cash now and take it with me.

I'd like to make a small contribution, if I may.

I'll give you a line on anything.

I'll pay you...

I'm a gypsy. That's why I'm not gonna bullshit you, okay?

I'm buying.

I'm going to set your bail at $3,000.

I'm proud of you and all the guys.

I'm takin' that game more serious

I'm tellin' ya. I think he's a scout for the big leagues.

If I can't get what I want

If you ask me, they oughta lock him up for his own good.

In a bad situation

In a few seconds I'm gonna be a full partner,

In a sense, we're at the benefit, right now.

In fact, I'm asking people

In other words, I only get paid if you profit from my advice.

In the nick of time

Is electrifying crowds

Isn't that wonderful?

It is very good, Marilyn. But it's not great.

It looks like this game may have some real spirit after all, Biff.

It went up? Well, sell it

It's all right, Rudy.

It's American money, you know.

It's gonna be great because we're gonna play an exhibition game.

It's great. I'm gonna have the bus take us over to the island.

Let me hear it one more time!

Like I always said, Mr. Carter.

Look at him. He's a little rag doll!

Look, I tried to defend myself. The man hit me first.

Marilyn, this is the room I could die in.

MARILYN: Oh, my God.

Maybe he's comin' to his senses, you know?

Maybe he's just trying to get his point across.

Maybe it was that long flight you chartered from Newark

Miss Drake, I'm very sorry. And I appreciate what you're trying to do

Monty, I want to die in this room

Monty, stop! Don't sign anything!

Monty?

Mr. Brewster, are we to understand

Mr. Brewster, I'm a lawyer.

My left leg. See? I planted it down wrong. I was off balance.

Naturally, Monty Brewster intends to pitch

Next year, they're going with the college draft choices.

No

No houses, no cars, no jewelry,

No, oil and real estate.

No. I bet he's someone high up in the Yankee organization, right?

No. We're hungry. $200 a head!

Nobody understands

Nobody's ever gonna know it, man.

None of the above!

None of the above!

None of the above!

None of the above! None of the above!

Not at the moment, but you never know.

Now arriving at the Plaza Hotel is Montgomery Brewster,

Now cut the speeches, and get us out of here, please.

Now, what I would like to do is go the North Pole, select a good sized iceberg,

Of the 100 of these stamps originally printed,

Oh, Angela. Angela. Please, I need to speak to you. Please.

Oh, Monty, I have the most wonderful idea for you.

Oh, much bigger and more fun,

Oh, my!

Oh, of course not. No.

Oh, stop it! Can't you see this man is faking?

Oh, yeah, right. The refund.

Oh, you think I came down with the last drop of rain?

Oh!

Ooh!

Or pay any fines levied in case they plead guilty,

Out!

Ow!

Penthouses with swimming pools.

Perhaps you know the... Go, you Bulls, go.

Perhaps you'd better sit down, Mr. Brewster

PLAYERS: (SHOUTING) All right!

Please, may I call you Monty?

Right away, sir.

Right.

Robby digs in and we're under way.

ROUNDFIELD: Three minutes

Sanitation, union corruption, urban renewal...

Saved me

See, the check will be a receipt.

So his theory, and it's just a theory,

So I do a little legal work for the committee

So I'll sign what you want me to sign and I'll get out of here.

So, in strictest confidence, you can see how vital it is to the firm

Sounds like a step in the right direction.

Squander it? What are you talking about? I'm making millions.

Strike three! You're out!

Strike!

Talk all you want, Porky.

Tell him the good news, Eugene.

Tell my team, from now on we travel first class!

Thank you very much. (CHUCKLES)

Thank you.

Thank you. I will.

That is gotta be the most expensive hangover this reporter's ever heard of.

That was so wonderful, what you just did in there.

That you gave me as a deposit on the furniture?

That's a nice attempt at a classic French piano.

That's a promise. Two outs. Two! Two!

That's great, Marilyn

That's right. That's right Take some pictures.

That's what he always does this, you know

The arm's two years old now.

The baseball system! You got more heart than any catcher I've ever worked with, man

The goddamned train's coming through the outfield!

The stamps we have here are very rare, very expensive

The stock, which was valued at 1.5,

Things like this just don't happen every day!

This is Chuck Fleming in Times Square.

This is Mr. George Granville. Mr. Norris Baxter.

This is the real deal.

This time we'll just leave him alone.

To use a metaphor from your profession

Top of the third, but they're really starting to hit 'em.

Totally preposterous. We're completely innocent

Try the theory nude with us.

Twenty seven players, everybody's got their own place

Two Louis XVI chairs with a good tapestry fabric.

Two outs. Two outs.

Uh oh. We're going to be late for that benefit.

Uh, that's because I can't get used to being rich.

Uh, well, I think you should ask

Unless he planned to steal it back with interest?

Use my pen.

VIN: Swing on, it's a hotshot.

Wait for me, pal! Wait for me!

Wait for me.

Want me to have him pitch underhanded to ya?

Warren Cox. He's a junior partner at Granville and Baxter.

Warren, you don't even drink

We can start all over.

We followed his rollercoaster ride of success and failure

We lost the money...

We're always gonna remember this day.

We're going to assign one of our paralegals

We're gonna be back on the team.

We've investigated your background, Mr. Brewster.

Well, great on you, but great is your accountant.

Well, I'd have to ask her,

What are you gonna do about that?

What do they pay you here?

What do you think of your opponents now, Mr. Brewster?

What's that supposed to mean?

When she finds out what's goin' on.

Where's he find the time for you?

Which I regret to say

Which is just as silly as me running for office.

Who the hell am I? I'm Morty King, king of the mimics, that's who!

Who's the lucky guy?

Why you have to spend this money

With his money since he got it.

With less than two weeks remaining until the election,

With Montgomery Brewster and entourage

With Mr. Brewster and myself, is a couple of, well, local heroes, really.

Without assets of any kind,

Worse than that, he's on network.

Would that be enough?

Yeah, Donaldo, Put some money in here now.

Yeah, got to you

Yeah, I'm glad to get rid of it. Yes. It's $20,000. That's the receipt

Yeah.

Yeah. Ugly bitch!

Yes, and I'm gonna spare no expense and fix it up

Yes. It's $20,000. That's the receipt.

You are out.

You asshole.

You came along

You can hire anybody you want,

You don't do things like that!

You don't make another bet in this city again, ever!

You don't walk around the street with $3 million!

You gotta be kidding!

You guys ain't messin' around with baseball, are you?

You guys look great!

You have the most beautiful eyes.

You know how it is around election time

You know, precious metals, rare coins,

You lease some great clothes.

You mean, he had to spend all that money?

You missed the point

You saved me

You see, Your Honor, what you have here

You throw a party with your last 38,000!

You went to Loyola, didn't you?

You're a total snack bar!

You're charged with assault and battery,

You're gonna love it, really. I think everyone here will.

(CLOCK CHIMING) Gentlemen, shall we say...

(GASPS) Hi, Eugene Provost, financial advisor.

(GROANS) It's all right. It's all right

And he's a sincere feminist. I bet.

Be careful with your ass, Brewster. We got two outs.

Foul ball! Aw, foul ball?

Good! Sure. Join the club.

Have you been drinking? No, not at all.

Have you ever heard the name Rupert Horn? Rupert Horn.

He rented apartments for these guys? Apartments?

Hello, Marilyn. Well, Monty...

Hello. CHARLEY: Brewster.

Hello. Yes. What? WOMAN: Mr. Brewster, it went up!

Hey, are we on the air now? Is this workin'? Yes. Right there.

Hey... Strike three, you're out!

How do you do? Hi.

I know this kind of stuff. Don't mess up.

I want pictures of this! Buzz off. I'm his personal photographer.

I'm a snack bar? You're an asshole. Come back here.

I'm glad I did. Warren, me too.

I'm not in the mood No, wonderful, wonderful news.

I'm your accountant. I'm not your judge. What college you go to?

Meet my family? Yeah.

Melvin, give him $500. Yes, sir.

MONTY: What's your name? Melvin.

Mr. Cox? Warren! How you doing?

No, Warren. Hold it more to the left. Your left or my left?

Now, it's not fancy, but..

Of course. Of course

Oh, look at that. Yeah.

Oh, the bat's got the brains! Play ball.

Oh, Warren

Really? Mmm hmm.

Salary $10,000 a week. $10,000 a week? This guy's a jerk!

Sir, you are down! He's doin' it!

So where shall we go? You're driving.

SPIKE: No

Spike! Spike! What's wrong? What's wrong?

Taxi! Taxi!

Thank you. Pas de quoi.

That's it! Marilyn, she could help you. What?

The Bulls' bus. The team bus. Bigger than a car.

They just made that for you? Yeah.

They want me. We're goin' to the big time! This is it.

Well, yeah! Well, let's go!

What the... Are you all right? I think so.

What's wrong? Are you all right? Spike! Spike!

What's your favorite charity? Oh, I don't know.

Who the hell is that? Monty Brewster, the richest guy in the world.

Why don't we start in a bus? Why don't we try the bus?

Will you shut up? (MIMICKING CONTINUES)

Wilson, you idiot! You're out!

Wow! Now, that's really nice. Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah. Who is he? It's the scout.

Yes, he fell for it. What do you look so unhappy for?

You like this hotel? I like this hotel. I love it.

You sure? Yeah.

(BRIGHTLY) Come in, the door's open.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ENTHUSED SHOUTING)

(GASPS) Look at all that money!

(GLASSES CHIME)

(IMITATES BAT WINGS FLAPPING)

(INDISTINCT)

(LAUGHS) Chuck Fleming! Ahhh!

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(MIMICKING) Mr. Brewster, I'm a real good manicurist.

(NEWS REPORT CONTINUES)

(PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(PLAYERS CLAMORING)

(PLAYERS WHOOPING)

(PLAYING AULD LANG SYNE)

(PLAYING TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME)

(SOBBING) I'm so glad.

(STRIKING ENDS)

(TUNE PLAYING)

(WHISTLES)

(WHOOPING)

(WHOOPING)