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Home > Transparent - Season 1
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A lot of people would have just done it for the cash.
A ripe peach.
A sort of cautionary tale about...
A week, summer, whatever.
Actually, he's talking about giving the house to me and Len.
Ah, shit!
Ah, you're such a spoilsport.
Ali, drop the plate!
All I need is a safe place to rest my keppie
All right, go and sit. We're going to go.
All right. Do you know what? Take it.
And here's what you're gonna do.
And I can't wait to see you all next week
And I didn't do it.
And I got into, you know, the checkout line,
And I just knew. I said, "This is gonna not be good
And I think you're singing Hanukkah.
And I was screaming.
And I will speak to you later
And I'm gonna have you jump in with these guys,
And I'm not sure you're going to like me
And I'm planning a little spit roasting epic... night
And it felt right
And it just happened.
And kind of Palm Springsy and stuff
And Len wants it?
And next thing, you know, she's going to have shingles
And people led...
And pick up his soccer stuff,
And so she just, um,
And so today let's celebrate his life.
And the disgusting koi pond out there
And the now sunglasses, and the now girlfriend,
And the now... dungarees
And then I get into this deprivation thing,
And then I just hung out with your roommate while you, like,
And then I walked into Dale's house
And there's no smoking!
And they canceled it.
And they're going to this really cool protest
And what any of that stuff has to do with this.
And you look like you're under water
And you were the one who didn't want to sign them
Are you kidding me?
Are you not having any fun today?
Are you okay?
At the 7 Eleven down the street
Be careful with any mechanical devices.
Because that's our family religion, right? Secrecy
Because this is the ladies' restroom,
Because you actually seem like you like music.
Because you care about me so much, Josh?
Because, my beautiful girl,
Being alive is being sad.
Bloody marys?
Boys! Boys!
But then it was still happening.
But why do I have to leave?
Bye. See you next year.
Can I fly your plane?
Can I vent? I'm just venting.
Can you just leave me alone, please.
Come here.
Come on
Come on in.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Now you got to tell me.
Dad, I'm gonna put these baby backs in a ziploc for you
Dad, this is Bianca.
Did they discuss it with you?
Did you already register at Tumbleweed?
Did you know that person...
Do you like me?
Do you really not know what spit roasting is?
Do you remember, um, my parents' house?
Do you think that's okay?
Do you want one?
Does Ed have end of life directives?
Does mom know about dad?
Drop it! Drop it!
Ed is missing. We're calling to see if they found him.
Enjoying the Shivah?
Feel like I'm lying in a pool of water.
For you
For, like, fruit pickers and stuff,
Four people in Los Angeles have ever had Lyme disease
From Raul to Ramona and everything.
Get yourselves a pizza, okay?
Girls can be such mean little twats.
Go on in
God, I don't have cancer
God, what is wrong with me?
God, you weren't kidding.
God! Stop it
God. Poor mom.
Good. How are you?
Grab a cart, and I'll show you
Great. Thank you.
Have some of this?
He's doing it in public.
He's got all kinds of usual places.
He's got gray hair, and he wears, like, big, poofy Dockers.
He's leaving for Bonnaroo tomorrow.
He's missing.
He's too much of a pussy hound
He's trans.
Hello oh, Zacky, my..
Hello. This is the manager.
Hello. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Here you go
Hey, babe!
Hey, girl.
Hey, I know why you were there
Hi, excuse me?
Hi, girls.
Hmm. So...
Holy shit
How do you misplace...
How is he?
How many are there?
How many of those are you gonna take?
How you doing?
How's... how's mom and dad?
I am gonna tell her, okay?
I am judging. I am judging
I am not going to the marina triangle by myself, okay?
I am seeing a trainer, and he says dairy is basically
I can't reschedule my thing.
I cancelled the Grubman thing. I just made up some bullshit.
I caught them at south by, and I just went ape balls
I come over...
I did.
I didn't even know you spoke to each other.
I didn't want to throw you off
I do, too. But wait, I want to go on record
I don't agree.
I don't know how not to.
I don't know how to play games
I don't know if you can appreciate this,
I don't know what mom knows and doesn't know
I don't understand why you didn't just put it
I going to have to ask you
I got Saturday and Sunday off
I gotta get it. Fuck.
I had a cat when I was a kid
I have water, I... I know that
I haven't seen most of these people in years
I just need my backpack.
I just want to clarify. I just...
I know
I know.
I love you kids. I love you kids
I love you. I know. I'm a terrible, terrible child.
I mean no girl wants to get proposed to
I mean, I had a nervous breakdown
I mean, it was full tilt.
I mean, just..
I miss Ramona. What a hoot.
I need to get ready
I need to take this call from a tenant.
I read this thing
I remember when I got this.
I should hang this
I suppose everybody has one or two,
I suppose everybody has one or two.
I teach class in a half an hour.
I tell you what.
I think we all could say that's how we held Ed's voice.
I think your dad just went to work
I told you I wouldn't, and I won't.
I totally fucked up.
I want the Charleston Chew
I would not have judged you
I'll just see who it is.
I'm Cindy.
I'm coming. I'm coming.
I'm gonna give Mike your pussy
I'm just here to make you happy.
I'm just kidding!
I'm Marcy
I'm not a congregant.
I'm overwhelmed all the time
I'm so fucking thirsty
I'm sorry I keep calling you.
I'm sorry, I... I'm sorry, dad, I'm sorry.
I'm wearing a wet bathing suit,
I've ever been.
I've had to come so far, you know?
If we did absolutely nothing,
If you guys end up together?
If you're just gonna be, like, a billion years late.
In both good and bad ways,
In that serum don't mess around.
Is in the hilly part of the Palisades,
Is now making the major decisions around here.
Is that Mort?
Is there a back entrance or something?
It just... anyways, don't worry about it.
It was... it was...
It's a week away
It's a... it's a tradition
It's like having a baby.
It's like he's been..
It's like stripping someone naked in the middle
It's like you do your do si do,
It's so obvious now why dad wasn't around
It's supposed to be some kind of healthy soda.
It's totally real.
Josh, you're in charge, okay? Watch Ali.
Just a...
Just please, God, let me do this.
Just seeing you together, it's gross.
Know what?
Len, it's me. It's me
Let me tell you something. A lot of people do this.
Like I didn't know where I was,
Like we could go to Topanga,
Literally, decades ago
Look at me.
Look, you know what, buddy? You just got...
Looks like she's got a new teenage boy toy
Ma'am, what you're looking at
Mom. Mommy, it's... this is different.
Move it.
Much more full.
My business card is back there, too.