Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce - Season 2 Edit

A "rock your decade" dress code,

A baby, that's... that's a big decision.

A baby.

A baby.

A baby.

A C list farmers' market, baby,

A complication?

A consensual sexual relationship?

A couple days ago, ski accident.

A crazy English baker living in a tent

A few dozen?

A few of the other girls she did this to

A Lipitor, and, um...

A little bit.

A little scared now, but okay.

A little tense with Gordon, but it's great.

A lot, and then today,

A not actually divorced woman has to make a living somehow,

A picture of me at a hotel with my ex husband.

A pretentious guy, who's about

A public apology, and a non disclosure form.

A run on a sci fi thing in Winnipeg.

A Viagra Frumpkis I found in my shoe.

Abby McCarthy!

Abby, did Harris ever say that he was absolutely gonna be here?

Abby, I think I need to...

Abby, I went out to have drinks with a friend.

Abby, Jesus.

Abby, my laser cat shirt...

Abby, Rhonda, Jo!

Abby, talk to your daughter.

Abby, that is so sad

Abby, this is Mama Bitna.

Abby, wait. For what it's worth,

Abby, what if we gave this thing one more shot?

Abby, where are you?

Abby!

Abby?

Abby?

Abby.

Abby.

Abby.

About a month.

About an assignment

About eloping?

About it being in my best interest to move out

About me?

About the prospect of a wedding.

About your marital situation.

About your shiny, new life

Abs, dance break!

Abs, I told you. We're fine now.

Abs!

Abs?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Actually, couldn't even find

Actually, his name's none of your goddamn business.

Actually, I do have one

Actually, though, I want...

Actually, we're not eating in here.

Adam, what the hell are you doing?

After you and I were back together, things got physical.

Again.

Again. Why didn't you ask me?

Agreed, I totally get that.

Ah, Joseph Gordon.

Ah, so radical honesty...

Ah!

Ah. All right.

Albert, I've worked on that case for over a year.

Albert's going to understand.

Alcoholic.

Alicia asked me who I liked from the old days,

All affection and "Let me be your mom,"

All natural gal campaign.

All of these lies, Abby

All real one night,

All right, all right, all right, let's just calm down.

All right, but you do need to appoint child guardians

All right, guys...

All right, I should go.

All right, I'll see you at Abby's.

All right, I'm calling it!

All right, let's get in the works.

All right, let's go.

All right, let's stick to the game plan.

All right, thanks

All right, um,

All right, your turn.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All the awful things we said to each other.

All the time.

All this bullshit about it being in my best interest

Almost done.

Almost.

Along with the beauty here,

Also, they know that we are going through a transition.

Although it's impolitic to ask

Always gonna be something though, no!

Always talked about this, remember?

Always trying to jump me on the roof of your place,

Always.

Am I supposed to talk more?

Amazing.

Amazing.

Ambien, Zoloft, and Viagra.

Analog!

And a cartoon character named Jonathan.

And a Groomzilla...

And a sexist.

And a smoker,

And Adam was all,

And afterwards Lilly thinks about it for a second,

And all poof the next.

And all the media

And always will be,

And baked to a crispy perfection.

And besides, my toes are tough.

And break his heart very, very slowly.

And build you a second story.

And Charlie...

And commend you on your growth as a person?

And Delia's gonna be occupied,

And don't even get me started with her bringing the CNN dude

And don't expect any fresh vegetables out there.

And done

And ducks? Seriously, Jake?

And emotionally draining.

And fashion shows, artisanal food fairs.

And forget about the amazing pistachios

And funny, smart.

And gave the driver 100 bucks for puke cleanup.

And get a free open bar, why not?

And get back to you.

And golden chocolate truffles.

And got really good gigs.

And have a little fun tonight, huh?

And have sex with your husband.

And have to clean this table up.

And he also doesn't spend his days

And he's a former porn addict,

And he's gonna die

And he's tweeting it from his bakery.

And help me fix this

And her inbred Kentucky lifestyle.

And her timing couldn't be better.

And here's Mr. Beech!

And here's your perfect kitchen.

And I am just sick and tired of tiptoeing around you

And I am just telling you all of this in the spirit

And I am shutting it.

And I can't get right if I'm with you.

And I can't... I can't get right if I'm with you, so...

And I don't think

And I don't want a big fuss.

And I finally accomplished something that I'm proud of.

And I got a new pair of shoes,

And I got to say,

And I guess he can't get better with me around.

And I just thought it would be good

And I just want to slam him with my cleave

And I kind of get his point.

And I know that I hurt both of you very deeply.

And I love you forever.

And I might not be the face of divorce after all,

And I need food and water.

And I need to see it through.

And I promise you're gonna see less and less of Jonathan.

And I realized I wasn't.

And I saved the best for last.

And I skipped a lot of steps,

And I swear on my life I will find a place.

And I thought it was okay with us, but I guess we're not.

And I totally pushed for you two.

And I try to fix everybody else's stuff 'cause

And I value our professional relationship,

And I was ignoring it

And I will be there

And I will get it because my finger

And I would hate to think that I did anything

And I... I really made a fuss about you...

And I... I... I never meant to...

And I... my life

And I'm dying.

And I'm gonna be fine whatever your answer is.

And I'm gonna pretend that goes for me too.

And I'm gonna see Will tonight.

And I'm in love with him.

And I'm just feeling handy, and I miss being

And I'm not anybody's blushing bride!

And I'm saying that whatever we had,

And I'm sorry about that, but I need you to stop for a second.

And I'm sure it's very confusing.

And I've got this hot house flower here

And if I want career prospects

And if something like this was ever going to happen again,

And if you don't like them, I'm just gonna return

And if you tell her I told you that

And if you'll have us, we're all in.

And it turns out she's loaded.

And it's all part of the story, right?

And it's another baby in the family.

And it's full of sugar.

And it's just such a fascinating... place.

And it's not even like that.

And it's scared to death

And knocked up by 11:00!

And leave mine the hell alone.

And let's not...

And Lilly can help him get the cousins.

And Lily is not a kid anymore

And looking to unearth his long buried libido.

And make bad decisions

And make messes

And make nice with your friend who is hurting.

And meditate on a bale of hay with Charlene.

And Mr. Beech's email said

And my dates have to be fake, which means involving nice,

And my ex husband is trying to...

And my Manolos, for crying out loud.

And my new bakery is opening next week,

And nail the cross without breaking a sweat.

And not get married? I did it so wrong

And now I'm writing for SheShe?

And now it's just between you and me.

And now that I'm ancient,

And now you're gonna teach

And now you're just a...

And now, now is not the time to tell people

And one, two...

And Phoebe's throwing the party, so she's gonna be nuts.

And poor you, because your stuck

And product reviews, and life hacks

And put on a beautiful dress and then go with my new guy

And radical honesty?

And radical honesty?

And Scott's the go to guy in Brooklyn,

And see what I see.

And she called me about this and we started talking about

And she doesn't even know me.

And she has no idea where he is.

And she sends you hugs and kisses.

And she wants to meet you before she goes.

And she's amazing, but I don't think

And she's been trying to get a divorce,

And she's fighting his daughter for property.

And since I'm opening a bakery in dos dias...

And sometimes life can be very complicated.

And suffocate you.

And that definitely wasn't a panic attack.

And that is for work.

And that it's your decision, you know?

And that somehow got me back to Nate

And that was a lot of information.

And that, they say that.

And that's my food.

And that's when we go to In n Out.

And that's why I get everything in writing.

And the beast of the southern wild,

And the CNN douchebag have to talk about?

And the crazy, sexy dating stories

And the guy gets a fear of flying.

And the hypocrisy just flows out.

And the no bake, dairy free biscottis?

And the other night, it felt so

And the Paradiso isn't exactly homey.

And the truth is they have barely mentioned

And the Wicked Witch of the South.

And then everything is great with life.

And then go to the hotel

And then he has me run all over the place.

And then he will attach to you like a barnacle

And then hit you with the supernova of fill light.

And then look all clean

And then maybe we could decorate the place

And then she says, "Mom, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna

And then we can discuss afterwards,

And then we could, you know...

And then we let it go.

And then we'll see if you're any good at what you do.

And then we're gonna sneak into the girls' bathroom,

And then you totally hijacked it,

And there was no reason to tell you.

And these are people I need to meet for work.

And these are test shots, right?

And they can't make it after all.

And they do their best to love us.

And they moisturize the crap out of you

And they're already calling you two #Habby.

And they've been texting each other

And think about what's next for my future

And this is my fiancé, Gordon Beech.

And this is... this looks beautiful.

And this... we can't take them on this crazy ride.

And two, you're pissed

And Uncle Jake lives in one of the lesser areas.

And use the Google machine

And walk a little bit slower

And we can bitch about it

And we can help

And we have that in common.

And we just can't fix it.

And we just can't fix it.

And we need to talk, and I've been meaning to talk to you...

And we'll be here for you, all of us.

And we'll probably be photographed a lot, so...

And we're getting along, like,

And were you in love with Nate.

And what does money have to do with anything at all?

And when we are completely wasted,

And why is she writing the piece?

And write all the pieces, but then you get to be glam.

And writing a book about divorce.

And you accepted my apology

And you as usual just want to dive in.

And you finally get your own bedroom.

And you have to stop pretending like it isn't happening.

And you heal people for a living nationally on television.

And you just can't get over the fact

And you just mailed in your divorce papers, you slut.

And you just shit all over it.

And you know after Marco,

And you know what?

And you needed to know that in case that's a deal breaker.

And you remind me on a daily basis

And you were right about everything

And you were so wrong about the phone, by the way.

And you, do not have sex with him.

And you'll still see Lily,

And you're a dryer repairman, right?

And you're gonna bail on me?

And you're right, because it's live.

And you're supportive.

And you're the put upon adult

And you're trying to drive

And your facials and your new look.

And your grandma from Wisconsin.

And your happy, life affirming divorce.

And your husband's out of town, and...

And Zara's mom is in The Black Eyed Peas.

And, ah... I was upset, I could be very cutting.

And, uh, all the things that sort of

And, uh, you know, it's just so not his fault.

And, um...

And, you know, us being so disconnected since...

And... I really upset you with the drinking.

And... oh, it's a setup.

And... yes.

Annie is still his wife,

Another ex with a sixth sense.

Answer the damn question.

Answer the question.

Anybody here?

Anything.

Anyway I got to run, I'm going house hunting with Gordon

Anyway I got to run, I'm going house hunting with Gordon

Anyway, congrats.

Anyways, no real time crunch here

Apparently we're not distinctive enough.

Appropriately devious.

Are going to reflect who you are as a couple,

Are insisting on an audience with you.

Are the kids gonna be okay?

Are you about to turn me into a newt?

Are you giving me notes right now?

Are you kidding? There's, like, a pound of it in there.

Are you listening to yourself right now?

Are you loaded?

Are you loaded?

Are you not into the lips?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you on a date?

Are you on the show?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you threatening me?

Are you watching porn?

Aren't you lucky?

Argh.

Around it is so glum,

Around this.

As a twist.

As he bags a 26 year old.

As in you tire me with pith,

As long as I don't have to make any decisions.

As long as you keep taking advantage of me.

As much as I love Abby, I vote we don't

As soon as I knew.

As soon as Ms. Wingo leaves, you can come inside.

As the face of the divorce industrial complex, right?

Ask them to change it.

At 9:00, with manufacturing...

At hand, which is Delia's wedding?

At one of the most elite schools in L.A.

At Oscar de la Renta, and I'm sure

At the Annenberg.

At the new Broad Saturday night.

At the the Paradiso who says anytime I want,

At the thought of separate bedrooms.

Attention, everyone!

Attention, party people!

Aw! I shouldn't have held the door for you.

Aw. So it's like a public service.

Aww, does that mean we're good?

Aww, sounds amazing.

Aww.

Back and forth with, "I miss you," "I miss you too,"

Back in the day, I dumped my prom date

Back in the saddle?

Back off, Barbara.

Back up. How did my kid find out?

Background check.

Bad day.

Bad for the body.

Bad Jake.

Bam!

Banais of Valencia are the least of my concerns.

Banging my younger sister.

Barbara is going to oversee you on this.

Barbara is our... your managing editor.

Barbara.

Barbara..

Barbara's not exactly my number one fan, so..

Basically means I'm living a lie again,

Basically, she did

Basketball; It's great

Bastard. What was the prank?

Be a great place for our engagement party.

Be enjoying apricot tarts,

Be in the conference room at 2:00 P.M. to mediate.

Beautiful girls are disposable.

Beauty.

Because here I am again wondering if I can trust you.

Because how many hours do you think

Because I am afraid if I stop,

Because I am.

Because I can't do this anymore, Jake.

Because I didn't even know he existed until today.

Because I have been trying to take a really

Because I have lots to do before Friday.

Because I thought it was playtime.

Because I thought that you would be hurt or...

Because I told you about Becca.

Because I want to be in your and in our child's life.

Because I'm like,

Because if I didn't pass, it would be humiliating.

Because if we are gonna work,

Because it's corporate housing.

Because it's his girlfriend's son birthday,

Because of my job.

Because that is in fucking reruns at this point.

Because they're baked

Because we love you guys, but...

Because we will show you who's derivative ing who.

Because you are a terrible driver.

Because you are not supportive

Because you didn't show up tonight.

Because you have been living at my house

Because you have said it an incalculable number of times!

Because you haven't been returning any of my messages.

Because you know my hair is one of my erogenous zones.

Because you make me feel like shit.

Becca has decided not to keep the baby.

Becca is pregnant,

Becca is pregnant.

Been drinking coffee all day.

Before he's sucking you dry again.

Before Latvia,

Before you get all Hazmat y

Being with? Okay.

Believe me, it's been hard enough just getting this lady

Better be SheShe worthy.

Binge Netflix, fart with abandon,

Binge watch "House of Cards."

Black diamond run, hit a tree.

Blah... blah... blah.

Bloated, Marria?

Blonde with the...

Both my kids have sleepovers,

Botox got nothing on recovery.

Break's over.

Breathing.

Breathing.

Bring it on.

Bring those big, bad titties on over here.

Broadway.

Bummer.

But a lot of folks prefer the single.

But according to asshole here,

But after my parents died, they saved my bacon.

But as soon as I do know,

But Cat's having a little...

But clearly you had a different experience.

But every ride has to come to an end.

But family is important. People are important.

But great job. Really.

But he ended up taking the bus.

But he ended up taking the bus.

But he needs to figure things out on his own.

But he probably just wants a break from Charlene

But he said he didn't mind.

But he's acting all reformed, and it's freaking me out.

But here I can't get it.

But I actually just know of the site.

But I can't breathe.

But I do think that this place needs both of us.

But I don't want to move.

But I feel like I should explain what the..

But I have been told there is just one issue

But I just found out I got a plus one.

But I just wanted you to have something

But I mean...

But I really do need something different.

But I still feel like we're doing the right thing.

But I think Phoebe should write it.

But I think she means well.

But I will swing by work,

But I'm pretty sure that he would resent me forever.

But I'm sure that you can pull it off.

But I'm through it now

But if we're at our best,

But if you can just let me say what I'm saying,

But in briefs.

But it does not have to change things between us.

But it turns out that, ah...

But it's fine. Nothing happened.

But it's not like I see much of her lately.

But it's probably best just to get this over with

But it's your journey, your point of view.

But Jo, we still need to talk about...

But look, I'm going to Latvia for four months.

But my bigamist soon to be ex husband is my date tonight,

But not that I'm here much.

But now we're in L.A.

But she didn't know if she was going to keep it,

But she needs her ex to sign the papers,

But thank you for an unforgettable evening.

But that sounds like fun.

But that's why the Blue Robin campaign

But the freaking floors aren't dry yet.

But the kid's excited to see you and spend some time with you.

But the timing was never right

But then I realized that you have handled things

But they don't want to relive the past,

But this has been really nice

But this is what the real face of divorce looks like.

But this is...

But this is... This is feeling silly.

But tonight, it is our honor

But um,

But we can deal with this together.

But we're going to be eloping.

But what do you think, Phoebe?

But why so secretive?

But you can do that on your own,

But you did, which is fantastic.

But you know what?

But you left it there? I mean...

But you might want to more than mention it, soon.

But you tell him to stop manhandling my kitchen.

But you're kicking me out

But you're the sexy face of divorce, okay?

But, um, Scott tells me change is good,

But, um, well, I unplugged.

But, you know, you told me about the Will thing,

By the way, when they say,

Bye

Bye, ducky.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Hmm.

Calm down, Katie Couric.

Can I come to the future with you?

Can I have a baggy or something please?

Can I just say,

Can I offer you a hot cruffin?

Can I talk to you outside for a moment, please?

Can I talk to you outside?

Can we go for a walk please?

Can we have sex again?

Can we just wrap this up please?

Can we please get back to the more important topic

Can you admit that you don't know if you want me?

Can you get your face out that God awful device?

Can you just hold me?

Can you just like relax for a minute.

Can you please go upstairs and get him?

Can you tape them, try to put a jaw line on her, okay?

Can you?

Can you?

Can't help it.

Can't wait, I love you.

Can't we just keep it secret and delicious for now?

Cannot live in this tiny, little space forever.

Capitalist pig I've ever met.

Case closed.

Cat has been my editor for 15 years.

Cause here I can get it,

Cause I don't have the first clue to fix my own.

Cause if something goes on with the kids,

Cause we... we rolled all night.

Champagne Nights

Change is good, Jo Jo.

Change is hard.

Charlene is the worst.

Charlene says that alcohol is liquid avoidance,

Charlene, she's just stomped down on your crazy.

Charlie, do you want bananas or raisins?

Charlie?

Check it for allergens,

Check these out.

Cheers.

Choose five items.

Classy cummerbund, RF.

Colder.

Colonel Sanders living in Kentucky

Come back to bed.

Come here, you limey son of a bitch.

Come here. Follow me.

Come in! It's open!

Come in.

Come keep me company?

Come on back in, just 15 minutes, that's it.

Come on in

Come on, Bonnie, let's go. She's insane.

Come on, dude, we're just gonna have some fun, right?

Come on, I drink around you.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Come on, Jo. Do I get any credit for that?

Come on, man. It was complicated.

Come on, please.

Come on, they raised you to raise yourself.

Come on, would you... would you change your career?

Come on, you look amazing.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Please come dance. Come dance. Come dance.

Come on. You're not with him yet.

Come watch it with me.

Come with me.

Coming from her. Yes, Phoebe?

Complicated.

Cool.

Cool.

Could we just?

Could you keep your voice down, please?

Could you say that with a little less enthusiasm, please?

Crazy part is paperwork done, we turned a corner,

Cyan, there better be two of everything.

Dad says it's okay. I just have to ask you.

Dad was divorcing her.

Dad, is it totaled?

Dad's changed. He really has.

Daddy just came over

Daddy, stay for dinner, please?

Daddy!

Daddy's doing it?

Daddy's gonna do your driving lesson today instead of me.

Damn.

Date with Dr. Harris.

Deal with your own pain,

Deal?

Decided that it was better for me

Decided to shove her tongue down her boss's throat.

Deep fried NASCAR pickles or whatever.

Definitely.

Delia has these lovely cousins in Valencia...

Delia is getting married?

Delia, could I steal you for a moment?

Delia, love of my life,

Delia, what is going on with you?

Delia? Delia?

Delia.

Delia.

Delia.

Delia.

Delia's engagement party.

Destroy all evidence of this.

Diana Ross and the Supremes, and we're the Supremes?

Did I say that?

Did she say something to you?

Did you have a good time tonight?

Did you play me?

Did you say engagement party?

Did you say engagement party?

Did you see Daddy's here?

Did you see what he...

Did you talk to Lilly yet?

Did you talk to your mom yet?

Did you tell her that?

Did you throw yourself at your ex husband,

Do I need to cut a bitch?

Do I still get the Porsche when you die?

Do is going to affect, you know, your life.

Do it in butter. It lasts longer.

Do it.

Do my eyes deceive me,

Do not get married at the beach... it never ends well.

Do not sleep with him.

Do not start, or I will take it back.

Do not touch Scott's twinkie.

Do tell. Anyone special?

Do that kind of stuff.

Do we approve?

Do we like?

Do you even like Phoebe,

Do you follow her on Twitter?

Do you have any ecstasy, extra molly?

Do you have any idea how much 15 minutes is worth in my day?

Do you have any idea what you've done to our lives?

Do you have any idea where? How can we help?

Do you have it?

Do you have to announce it to the world?"

Do you know this site?

Do you think maybe this place is too real for playtime?

Do you understand?

Do you want to go into our limo?

Does she have a call or...?

Does this guy play to you as military intelligence?

Don't Abby this.

Don't be mean.

Don't decide now.

Don't get married again just for the do over.

Don't give me the look.

Don't go home with the boring people.

Don't idolize anyone.

Don't look at me, sweetie.

Don't sing that song.

Don't spin this into what's good for me.

Don't tell me I missed all the fun.

Don't worry, we'll go easy on him.

Don't you need a follow up date?

Don't you need a follow up date?

Don't.

Door. Okay.

Dr. Harris from CNN, that sexy doctor.

Dr. Harris is picking me up soon.

Drop it. Seriously, just...

Dropped this egg on the floor,

Dude, what the hell, man?

Dude, what the hell, man?

During the entire ceremony?

Each what?