Did I just write the perfect eulogy?

You know how most murder victims die, Mr… Just one. The bullshit's why she's here. And out of all the monies I loaned durin… Johnny called me a gold digger twice. Even though I knew Jake could never kill… You've completely lost me. But he was my dick, you know? There are no better architects than the… I got to go. What is this about, Mr Cassidy? Kid, did he mess with you again? He puts his shit ass brother in there, t… Him and all the bullshit problems he put… Six foot two, blonde hair, crop short, m…