South Park - Season 5 Edit

A 75 share. My God, I never thought it was possible.

A ban? Why?

A brand new vehicle that will put all you bastards out of business.

A brash young baby from Montreal.

A brown eye!

A chance, that stem cell research could save my best friend's life, well...

A chilli carnival? That sounds great.

A club that follows certain beliefs

A dark, magic infliction brought on by a mass utterance of a word of curse.

A description? Oh, yes. He has blonde hair and a brown eye.

A drive? Oh, boy, I love a good drive. Is Dad coming, too?

A giant, stone John Wilkes Booth?

A great family programme like Halo the Turtle

A haemorrhoid. It doesn't make sense.

A legion of men sworn to do whatever necessary to keep the words at bay.

A little bit more comfortable way of travelling.

A little boring, but tried and true. What else?

A little boy named Butters

A little early.

A little early.

A little more gas, Kenny.

A little penis biting, perhaps?

A little to the left. That's great. And let's put another pool over there.

A local boy. You shall be our new playmate.

A made for TV movie written by and starring Terrance and Phillip,

A man stopped her, put a gun to her head and took her son away.

A million dollars?

A million millionaires are gathering their ranks

A moped would be too dangerous at those speeds. Damn it.

A movie? I wonder why he'd want to see a movie by himself?

A part of what? Some gaywod magician's crazy life plan?

A priceless original of England's history.

A recent poll shows

A roller coaster that splashes into water!

A rune stone for each word of curse was made,

A rune stone of Gaelic. Where did you get this?

A sadistic asshole.

A strange virus which causes victims to vomit up their intestines

A volunteer from the audience, very much.

A wonderful wife, and many friends.

About having the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival

About the dying whales, and then action!

About the plague is in this great tome.

About where you've been, though, all right?

About why we use the term "curse word" before.

Across the street at the new Wolfgang Puck's.

Actually, I understand perfectly.

Adventure Island! Check it out! Awesome!

Afghanistan? I'm sorry, boys, but our planes aren't flying there.

After a night with the hacksaw,

After almost being executed by the American government,

After these messages.

After years of depression and suicide attempts,

AIDS?

Airline mother... You pieces of...

Airline mother... You pieces of...

All of us poor, underachieving people out of town

All our biggest names to say "shit" and then we're gonna...

All right, all right, but you guys gotta see

All right, all right, hang on. Security!

All right, all right, hang on. Security!

All right, all right, let's just get the goat back to his home.

All right, all right, listen up, people. Cartmanland is open,

All right, all right.

All right, all right. I'll let two more people in each day,

All right, boys, I now have all the information I need

All right, boys, take the towel back in there

All right, boys, we're gonna head to the bar.

All right, boys. Break it up.

All right, boys. I am your new Scout leader.

All right, Brother Kyle, it is time for us to die.

All right, brothers and sisters, gather around.

All right, brothers and sisters, gather around.

All right, Cartman. What's so important

All right, children, let's settle down.

All right, children, we are all sending a dollar to the kids in Afghanistan.

All right, children. In lieu of the common usage,

All right, class, as some of you may have heard,

All right, class, I have your school photos to hand out.

All right, class, let's take our seats.

All right, come on. We just gotta get the goat on one of these planes.

All right, folks, we've had another change in policy.

All right, girls, even though this may be stuff you don't want to hear,

All right, girls, yesterday we went over

All right, guys, focus. Looks like this is gonna be an underwater level.

All right, here we go.

All right, here, everyone. Tweek, give everyone a rubber band.

All right, I guess it's just you and me, Timmy.

All right, I guess we should taste each other's chilli?

All right, I think we go over there.

All right, I'll start.

All right, I'll trade you my pubes back for the money.

All right, I'll trade you my pubes back for the money.

All right, I've had just about enough of this!

All right, let's do a rehearsal so that the camera crew can get a look at it.

All right, let's go.

All right, let's set up.

All right, let's take it from the top, gang.

All right, look, we don't for sure why Cartman is ditching school,

All right, maybe we lied to you, but it was to protect your own skin.

All right, men, this area is secure. Let's head out!

All right, men! Grab your guns and your Bibles!

All right, Mom, I'm all done wrapping Dad's anniversary present for you!

All right, Mrs. Anders, all ready for your abortion?

All right, now run a scan

All right, now this is very hard for me to do, you understand?

All right, now, as I was saying...

All right, Scott.

All right, Scouts, we're gonna end this meeting with a little puppet show.

All right, Scouts!

All right, see you.

All right, so listen, all I want you to do is keep anybody out

All right, Stanley, you can open your eyes now.

All right, that does it. Brake angrily, Kenny.

All right, then break it down to claims in the past 20 years.

All right, then.

All right, then. Well, see you at home.

All right, there we go.

All right, this looks like the perfect place to get some signatures.

All right, Token, you're next.

All right, troops, we depart for Afghanistan in five minutes.

All right, we'll come off the speech

All right, we're gonna have to use this truck. Come on, guys.

All right, well, let's just watch The Lion King.

All right, well, you gotta take over the telemarketing for a bit.

All right, you can take the paper bag off.

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right! Now give me back my money.

All right? It's a personal, woman thing.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Now we have to get

All right. See you in a bit, Dad. Oh, boy, a drive!

All right. Tango clear, let's head out.

All right. Well, I think I know why most of you tuned in today.

All rise.

All set to put down a down payment on that baby?

All the kids at school today made fun of me because I'm rich.

All the lines, lines, lines, lines.

All the other families here are kind of low to middle income.

All the other guys are doing it and it's only $69.95.

All the poor people in town think they can persecute

All the rest of us have to buy our clothes at JMart.

All the wet, spit filled kisses I put up with!

All this time, it's the girls that give us diseases.

All those hoses and wires.

All we had was the goat. Your country bombed everything else.

All we wanna know is who has our Okama Gamesphere?

All you need to do is go down to the...

Allah, Allah...

Alone with our boys?

Also kind of look like they have butts where their heads should be.

Alvarez, you and Mitchell sweep left.

Amazing. Eric Cartman is surely the financial genius of our time!

America did start this war! They started it years ago

America may have some problems, but it's our home, our team.

America may have some problems, but it's our home, our team.

America...

America...

America...

American Express or Discover Card.

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"

Ample parking day or night People spouting, Howdy, neighbour

An interrupting cow.

And "curse word" means something other than a word that's cursed.

And "curse word" means something other than a word that's cursed.

And a cotton candy person. Which means I now have to let

And a myriad of other diseases.

And absorbent enough to soak up even the toughest spills.

And admitted that I was a homosexual.

And allowing the Scouts their right to not allow gays into their private club.

And apparently, so is the act, and so is the money.

And apply.

And are now a Blainetologist.

And Cartman for being fat.

And Cartman for having a whore for a mom.

And Choksondik? I'd be surprised if she's ever gotten laid in her life.

And come be our Scout Master again.

And cut!

And decided to enrol him

And do your miracles, then they'll all see that David Blaine isn't so special.

And drinks inside the park, so now I've had to hire a beverage person,

And ended up becoming very successful.

And enjoy your stay at Cartmanland.

And every day he praised God.

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, buddy!

And found a meteorology website. I downloaded the data,

And furthermore, the Scout elders will be put into stocks for three days

And go camping. Huh, Stan?

And God says to Satan, "Have you seen Job? He is a great man,

And good things will come to us.

And harass us decent rich folk!

And have everyone say "shit" in place of their written lines.

And having sex with random men who were complete strangers.

And he says there actually isn't any concrete evidence of global warming.

And he told me I have a haemorrhoid.

And he's reading a magazine about Radiohead.

And he's sick right now. He's real sick.

And here we see the tender, magical uterus.

And here. Here's a coupon good for one free pony ride.

And here's a little syphilis for you.

And here's your boarding pass for tomorrow morning.

And his own theme park,

And I am so happy you're alive.

And I can finish up the kitchen.

And I can't go out to face it any more.

And I couldn't laugh. I mean, I knew it was funny, but I couldn't laugh.

And I don't know anybody.

And I know you'll all be very nice to our new student.

And I might need them if I have to go to the bathroom later on.

And I think we should point out that this technique

And I want to assure the nation that is watching

And I want you to be near the pony when they arrive.

And I was all like, No way.

And I was hoping we could bury the hatchet.

And I was wondering if you could print his photo on your milk cartons.

And I will say "shit" all I want.

And I'll become a stereotype.

And I'll give you the rest of your change back.

And I'll take you two out for some good old Colorado chilli.

And I'm afraid that when Mr. Denkins spotted them on his property,

And I'm pleased to announce that the national Earth Day organisation

And I'm proud to be in a country where I'm free to express myself.

And I'm ready to go. Thank you, IT.

And I've decided to invite you before anybody else.

And if I pull the gum out, it's going to hurt my finger.

And if we can just get you to sign here, and here.

And if you can't respect that, then I guess we're not best friends any more.

And if you don't like Towelie,

And if you don't wanna root for your team,

And if you don't wanna root for your team,

And if you look here, you can see how David Blaine

And if you'll help me, I'll give each of you $2.

And incidence arose from circumstance

And instead were treated to the Canadian made for TV movie,

And it got infected. I really need to go to the bathroom,

And it grew from there and spun out of control, and...

And it has a picture of him and you in a little aeroplane.

And it must a been a sad film, too,

And it nearly killed them both.

And it took the smarts of our young son to show us.

And it'll be impossible for me to get Kyle out.

And it's as simple as that. Any questions?

And it's gonna be so funny.

And it's up to us to make sure they're protected.

And learned how to make a tornado in a glass bottle.

And led the way in the fight against curdling.

And mail it back to the kids in Afghanistan. Come on, goat.

And make it look great.

And maybe even an afterlife, but in return they demand you pay money.

And meeting some of America's most influential people.

And Michael Bay gets to keep making movies.

And mixing them with our pure, non rich kids.

And my mom and dad say I have to watch it with them

And not having to go to the stupid, fart face airports.

And not letting me change the act. It's old and stale.

And now back to "Must Shit TV", here on HBC.

And now back to Money Quest on HBC!

And now Cartman's all pissed off.

And now here's a classic Terrance and Phillip sketch

And now that we've scared them a little, they're buying condoms to use.

And now we can sell all their homes and become millionaires.

And now we release the doves to symbolise the Lord taking Maybel

And now you do.

And now you just sign here, Mr. Fun.

And now, as a very special treat, our very special friend Jimmy

And now, as promised, here are Terrance and Phillip on video!

And now, for some classic Terrance and Phillip comedy!

And now, for your entertainment,

And now, here to take his official oath back into Scouts is Big Gay Al.

And now, if you'll excuse us, this family has to get to Bennigan's.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

And now, ladies and gentlemen, David Blaine!

And now, let us bow our heads in a moment of silence

And of course everyone's favourite show, Cop Drama.

And of course, my very favourite, "Timmy!"

And one of those beliefs is that homosexuality is immoral.

And over on the left side there's some interesting shit, too.

And perhaps I'll give old Magic and Kobe Bryant a call.

And perhaps we can all visit him together.

And please buy me more chocolate guns.

And prancing around like girls.

And Puffa Diddy Diddy Puff Fun Size.

And rare kartankula plinks!

And reflect on how Maybel touched our lives.

And revolutionary that it could cause one's eyes to bleed

And richest people who have been invited for a first look,

And said they were bringing Towelie back.

And say your mission was accomplished.

And say, "I beg you to give me back my money."

And Sea Man with the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish.

And see him get his wiener bitten off by a pony.

And see if Captain Kirk can decrypt it.

And see what he comes up with.

And see who raised the most. Good luck!

And see? Here's one from Butters.

And showing her poonanner to everybody!

And since the stupid security guard needs video surveillance,

And so Daddy does the picture.

And so ends Punky Brewster, Behind The Blow.

And so ends Terrance and Phillip, Behind the Blow.

And so God had a bunch of barbarians come in and slaughter

And so I leave my stocks and bonds,

And so I says to him, "Hey, I may be handicapped, but I'm not dead."

And so I told him here, I said, "Here, I'll sell you my pubes for only $10."

And so it is with great determination that us decent, rich Americans

And so it is with great determination that us decent, rich Americans

And so it is with great pride

And so it is with heavy hearts

And so Jesus and his companions leave Washington.

And so Terrance and Phillip got back together,

And so that's how to make banana nut muffins.

And so that's when I called out to my husband.

And so the people we owe the biggest apology to

And so then my friend started hollering at me,

And so we just had to come forward and tell the truth.

And so we'll never know.

And so you see, this park is for me. Nobody else will be allowed in.

And so, children, instead of saying "Hand in your papers",

And so, in 1998, the comedy team started work

And so, in her career filled with lies, backstabbing,

And so, just like in nature, I can add the mixture into the volcano, and...

And so, Semen and Swallow get to work.

And so, to both of us,

And so, we will all miss Kenny,

And so, you see, now that the ban on stem cell research has been lifted,

And so, you see, our son was just playing a joke

And some Puerto Rican guy has just made their number one most wanted.

And some research shows that they could be used to treat diseases.

And some Snoop Doggy Doo Doo's building a gigantic place on Main.

And sometimes mommies do things that seem hurtful to their babies,

And started calling it "shit". The same year as the black plague.

And stop following this false prophet.

And stop those Wonder Boys from getting to the core.

And talk to kids about being proud of what they are.

And Terrance and Phillip are more important than Mother Earth?

And that the only thing to ever make it right again is to come clean.

And that would make Scott Tenorman want to die.

And that would wipe the smile right from my face

And that you wanted to apologise.

And the best part is, they're coming here to my house.

And the doctors don't think he has very long to live.

And the little fat kid put it on the milk carton.

And the nice Bennigan's hostess lady will take us to our cosy booth.

And the only reason you care is 'cause you don't want to give up a dollar!

And the reason is that you girls wake up in the morning and say,

And the rest of his employees.

And the security line was two hours more.

And the stupid asshole buys them.

And the way he did it was with the brilliant, "You can't come" technique.

And then floated all the way down the river.

And then I always get woken up in the morning

And then I could finally live like a cowboy.

And then lost him again.

And then people would see my wife in the supermarket

And then run its own self destruct sequence.

And then Scott Tenorman will forever be known as

And then the Bennigan's waitstaff will sing.

And then there get to be so many people

And then this is your steering and here's your throttle.

And then you can use that to pay my daily salary.

And then you ended up having sex with him.

And then, as I got older, my head just sort of seemed to get bigger

And then, as Job's sons and daughters were eating, God sent a mighty wind

And then, in 1998,

And therefore have more lucrative jobs than most people in town.

And these are Puff Daddy's kids, P. Diddy Mini, P. Poofy Bite Size

And these are the children. We've come to warn you about "shit".

And these are the two areas most important to...

And these are your cousins, Ike and Kyle.

And they are replicating a new Shakey's!

And they became the missing part of the spine.

And they think it's their kid.

And they would say, "Hello,"

And they're going to be awful sad if I'm not there with them.

And they're gonna say "shit"!

And they're only $5.95 for a box of 50.

And they're playing it tonight on a big screen downtown.

And this is the room where my mom and dad

And this just in!

And this little light went on in my head,

And this stereotype shows up and wrecks it all.

And this was back in Wisconsin?

And though the film also started the Canadian American War of 1999,

And to me, people might say things like, "Liar!

And tons of great surprises! And the best part is

And upload this encryption disc into their system,

And warn you that the Chilli Con Carnival was a trap.

And was sued for $6 million dollars.

And we need a big act.

And we owe it all to me and these six brave little boys.

And we promised people we could get you to perform.

And we realised the man that murdered your son

And we still don't know why.

And we would scream together songs unsung

And we'll call it "Must Shit TV".

And we're going to see them tomorrow,

And we're sorry.

And we've got to find out what.

And what do you know about stem cells?

And what does this so called God give me in return?

And what makes it possible, is ITs patented gyroscope design.

And what makes you think you'd fit in with us?

And what the hell does that have to do with anything?

And when I found out, I went crazy.

And when you start covering up one lie with another lie,

And who else gets crab cakes and lobster tail in their lunch boxes?

And whoring herself for money,

And will be marching on the town square tonight in South Park

And will there be a new tour?

And with my dad's video projector I can show you the graph I made

And with the new approval of the word "shit",

And you believe it?

And you can call a lie whatever you want,

And you especially can't say anything about ****.

And you give Cartman a million dollars?

And you go get Terrance and Phillip.

And you know what else Kyle said?

And you know what? That wasn't really Radiohead talking.

And you'd have your own Shakey's Pizza

And you're a dumbass if you don't come with me.

And you're quite sure of this.

And you've got forty bucks. Can you do it?

And your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up.

And, as mayor, I accept your petition and will abolish all separation laws.

And, besides, too much use of a dirty word takes away

And, besides, your job is to protect the men who serve this force.

And, best of all, we met this kid named Jimmy.

And, indeed, the great country that it is.

And, of course, feed you your chilli.

And, of course, to steal the bodies.

And, well, he's pretty sick.

And, well, I'd let you have me if you wanted.

Another high alert status for terrorist activity this weekend.

Another week? I hate my stupid face.

Any attempts on ground would be easily spotted by guard posts.

Any ideas?

Any religion that requires you to pay money

Any rides that I am on. Understood?

Any word yet from the man who took your son?

Anyway, boy, I sure am lucky you came along, mister.

Anyway, I found myself enticed by Steinbeck's imagery.

Anyway, I think it's going too far. I mean, if I kill myself,

Anyway, that will give me plenty of time playing video games.

Apparently, almost all of our 4th graders are sexually active.

Are here to tell you all about it.

Are the Ramseys, Congressmen Condit and O.J.

Are we stopping for sodas? Hey, can I get a chocolate milk?

Are we talking here or what? You're breaking my balls.

Are wooden desks all that are available?

Are you boys still playing that video game?

Are you excited for your first night of Scouts, Timmy?

Are you guys gonna let your kids watch?

Are you Puerto Rican?

Are you saying you're fine with this guy camping overnight

Are you still keeping your eyes closed?

Are you sure this is where they said to be?

Are you sure you don't want to take your jacket off? It's pretty warm.

Are you sure? I haven't seen it.

Are you through databasing the clientele sheet?

Are you tired of corporate airline companies

Are you unhappy with the church's teachings? Let's just talk about it.

Are you wrestling in here?

As last night, while Mrs. Stotch was driving with her son in the car,

As leader of the goat people,

As many of you know,

As more and more cases of terrorist related AIDS continue to grow.

As Terrance and Phillip, Behind the Blow continues.

As they entered their late teens,

As they tried to copy his TNA. But then one day Towelie got high

As you can see, we keep it close to the refrigeration room.

As you know, this coming Friday is Earth Day.

Asshole.

At a TPS convention in France.

At a very early age, his parents noticed an uncanny musical ability

At Bennigan's

At Denkins' ranch that's been abandoned.

At Denver Community College. You watch me.

At least I'm not the boy in the plastic bubble.

At the tender age of six, Terrance and Phillip

Attention, ladies and gentlemen!

Attention, shoppers. Outside today we have cripple fight.

Average Puerto Rican height.

Awesome!

Awesome! Give me mine!

Awesome.

Baby, baby

Baby, you are so fine and shit The shit you do, the shit you say

Balls, Gary. Breaking them. All right, I'll call you back.

Barbrady?

Based on Terrance and Phillip.

Based on what cells you put around them. You see this rat?

Batting his eyes at every puppy he sees?

Be sure to bring a towel so you don't get all wet.

Be the first to show your enthusiasm for Towelie

Beat it, toots! We got discrimination work to do.

Beat off?

Beating off the dog is not appropriate when we have company.

Because all my life, I was raised to believe in Jehovah.

Because Dad came out, like, ten minutes later.

Because he had a bunch of tissue paper with him when he came out.

Because he had lost a bet on the Superbowl.

Because he's had his dream and lost it.

Because I finally figured it out.

Because I thought it was a jelly doughnut,

Because I was talking to Craig and Craig was all like,

Because I'd been sharing them all along.

Because I'm gay and that means I'm free to use the word "fag".

Because if I do, something bad will happen to me?

Because if I do, your God might not shower me

Because it brings a curse? Like the Black Death.

Because it makes him feel better about himself.

Because it was having sex with the...

Because it was having sex with the...

Because it was having sex with the...

Because it's up to all of you to get lots of people to come

Because Kyle is from the same family. I like to read and I have these polyps

Because Mr. Blaine has arranged for all Blainetologist members

Because now that you're almost finished,

Because of his horrible haemorrhoid.

Because of Scott Tenorman.

Because of their own incompetence and their own inefficiency.

Because since you got your feelings so hurt for being ripped on,

Because there's a little boy dying in a hospital right now

Because these cells are blanks, they will often programme themselves

Because they're not the military.

Because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.

Because you don't realise that a third of the world hates you.

Because your Okama Gamesphere is at their base.

Because, dude, it's Terrance and Phillip.

Because, retard, you're dumb enough to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes for $10.

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham Step to the left and clap your hands

Before sending it over.

Before the bus finally stopped for gas. I'm sorry about your sled, Kyle.

Before we have to worry about sex and diseases, huh, Wendy?

Behind this we still have all our vital head organs,

Behold, I have here five loaves of bread and three fish.

Bennigan's? Oh, boy, you mean it?

Better.

Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay.

Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay.

BIJOU

Bitch!

Blainetology offers you the key to living your life to the fullest!

Bosnard Medical Group?

Both!

Boy, am I glad to see you guys.

Boy, are my crutches tired.

Boy, I've just about had it up to here with you two.

Boy, it sure is dry out here.

Boy, Mom must be worried sick about me right now.

Boy, that Enrique Iglesias can sure gyrate his hot ass around.

Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's more important than Earth Day.

Boys, there's nothing I can do. The Scouts don't allow homosexuals.

Boys, there's nothing I can do. The Scouts don't allow homosexuals.

Boys, you've got three hours to get those two back together.

Boys, your little friend Kenny went to the hospital last night, m'kay?

Bring the towel here, boys. They can't shoot children.

Bringing the grand total to... God damn it!

Bringing them down once and for all.

Broken trucks on their lawns and cut up hot dogs for lunch

Brother Kyle, why do you disturb my rest?

Buddha, we may have a problem.

Buddha, with the powers of invisibility.

Buddha? Buddha, come in.

Buffalo wings and fried cheese sticks

But a fast paced rocket ride to success

But a freak washing machine accident at the age of 12 made him learn

But also the best producer of the freshest 2% low fat milk

But because I'm gay, it's all right.

But before a cell is designated as a toenail cell or a pancreas cell,

But being a lion may be harder than you think.

But could you sing a quick Fleetwood Mac for us?

But David Blaine's gonna do more miracles in Denver tomorrow.

But don't plan on getting past the parking lot, 'cause remember...

But due to the government ban we're mostly just packing things up.

But earlier today HBC news got footage of some of the country's top investors

But even after you're dry, the towel makes you more dry.

But first, I'd like to say that I really hate this kid named Scott Tenorman.

But freedom is a two way street. If I'm free to express myself,

But have you seen a talking towel around anywhere?

But he still kept his faith.

But he'll be performing with this other guy.

But he's gonna find out that without other people,

But he's our friend.

But how old do you think a student should be

But I can't go 'cause I'm still having behavioural problems.

But I definitely see the resemblance now.

But I don't get it. People use curse words all the time.

But I don't have any cash. I spent everything on this park.

But I don't how I can help it because I have a lot of homework to do.

But I don't think it's for using, I think it's just for looking through.

But I don't want this.

But I just wanted to see what else you were teaching the girls

But I think back in those days it meant something else. The plague

But I think mine is better. Try it.

But I told you, Mom, I didn't mean to look like a jackass,

But I want my cheque made out to me, not both of us!

But I warn you.

But I was literally talking about a concentration camp.

But I won't let you go to jail, I promise. Linda, please.

But I'll be back!

But I'll get snow on my gloves and then it will melt and I'll have wet hands.

But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo

But I'm not ashamed of it!

But I've been in Scouts since I was nine. It's a huge part of my life.

But I've got 30 some odd human foetuses in my backyard!

But I've got these tickets to see Lion King on stage.

But if I do, it will pop again and the pain will make me pass out.

But if we don't help the innocent ones,

But if you leave it up to the schools to teach sex to kids,

But in return for you working security, I'll let you ride two rides a day.

But it had the misfortune of being scheduled on a night

But it has something to do with abortions. That's all we know.

But it must a been a real short movie, though,

But it must a been a real short movie, though,

But it was in 1974, on The Sonny and Cher Show,

But it won't stay on. I need a rubber band or something.

But it's just not a school subject.

But it's like all bloody. It might be alive.

But it's really for the best.

But it's still a no good, stinking lie.

But it's still a shovel, Mom and Dad,

But just like the Super Best Friends learned,

But just one thing before I give it to you.

But look, check it out, it's all bloody.

But making a few words taboo just adds to the fun of English.

But Marsha and I have buttocks where our heads should be.

But Mom's not done yet, she's still got some afterbirth to push out of her.

But not "I have to shit." Are we all clear?

But now I've packed everything away, so just play something uplifting, like

But now maybe you'll believe me when I say

But now there is an alternative to airline travel. IT.

But obviously, we now must resort to more drastic measures.

But once I got used to IT, I found it to be a little less painful

But one day, Satan went up to heaven and talked to God.

But only because we had to. You see, when we started spying on Tynacorp,

But only to two people each day.

But only two rides and only if I'm not on them.

But only you have their security system in your memory banks.

But perhaps we should show these kids

But remember, anybody else you see trespassing in the park...

But Satan said, "Oh, yeah? He only praises you because

But sex isn't something that should be taught in textbooks and diagrams.

But that isn't all we have to say.

But the big camping trip is next week.

But the child on the milk carton was reported missing, not found.

But the doctors are gonna make him better, right?

But the fact of the matter is, well,

But the guy who replaced him sucks.

But the light of Christ showed me how to change.

But the price of fame was looming,

But the way it works,

But their fame would come at a price, when Behind the Blow continues.

But their return is assured.

But then one day Towelie got high and just sort of wandered off.

But then something happened

But then you had us do all that for nothing. Don't you see?

But then, why does God give us anything to start with?

But then, why would Scott Tenorman sell me his pubes for $10?

But there are also times when distorting the truth a little is appropriate.

But there's nothing we can do.

But they had seen it through.

But they were just a myth.

But they'd be thinking, "There goes that

But they're children!

But this is the wrong way to do it.

But this isn't what I wanted. I'm proud to be gay.

But today we're going to talk about

But we actually have buttocks where our heads should be.

But we can keep the Halo The Turtle dolls, right?

But we can't give them tax exempt status, either, Karl.

But we have to talk one at a time.

But we just thought that maybe someone else had found Tommy

But we need you.

But we promised the Earth Day people you'd perform.

But we will never forget that it was because of brave Kenny

But we're just caught in the middle. It's not our fault.

But why? Why does a third of the world hate us?

But years from now, when you're old and have children of your own,

But you can ride anything you want, and you don't have to wait in line.

But you can't make fun of him at all. No smart ass comments, nothing.

But you guys always rip on me for being rich.

But you have to come back. We hate our new Scout leader.

But you know, if you have completely lost your sense of humour,

But you should find an old bridge about halfway up.

But you were always the more artistically driven of us.

But you're going to miss it. They're going to say shit

But your lies cover up something much more horrible

But your values and your spirituality are in the gutter!

But, before you go, perhaps you would like a stick of gum?

But, Chef, when is the right age for us to start having sex?

But, Dad, I was just trying to...

But, dude, I can't French kiss him. He's my grandpa!

But, dude, you got to see, it's hysterical.

But, dude, you got to see, it's hysterical.

But, teacher, I didn't mean to look stupid in my picture, honest.

But, unfortunately, the government has banned stem cell research,

But, we want tax exempt status.

But, well, Stan's gonna come see you real soon I bet, Kenny.

But... But... Hey, wait a minute.

Butters

Butters

Butters

Butters

Butters can't come out and play, boys.

Butters was missing?

Butters, are you ready to stop with the stupid faces?

Butters, are you sure about this? You have to be absolutely sure!

Butters, Clyde, you can come in.

Butters, maybe you could secretly follow your dad and see what he's getting me.

Butters, Mommy wants to take you for a little drive now.

Butters, where did Daddy go after the movie?

Butters, you know that Mommy loves you an awful lot, don't you?

Butters, you need to leave here right now.

Butters, you're in big trouble now.

Butters! Hey, Butters!

Butters! Oh, Butters! Could you come see me in my study real quick?

By helping make "shit" an everyday word.

By mass chanting the word of wretchedness?

By saying "shit" on television,

By shutting you down and making ITs illegal.

By the sound of my own screams.

By tissue grown from stem cells.

Bye, Scouts.

Called Not Without My Anus.

Calm down, there, cowboy. You've still got four days.

Can I get on that 7:30 a.m. flight?

Can I help you?